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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 27 Feb 07 - 05:20 PM
Little Hawk 27 Feb 07 - 05:12 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 07 - 04:53 PM
Amos 27 Feb 07 - 03:42 PM
Amos 27 Feb 07 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 07 - 11:58 AM
Rapparee 27 Feb 07 - 11:57 AM
Acme 27 Feb 07 - 10:20 AM
Bunnahabhain 27 Feb 07 - 09:54 AM
Amos 27 Feb 07 - 09:27 AM
MMario 27 Feb 07 - 09:26 AM
Rapparee 27 Feb 07 - 09:24 AM
Amos 27 Feb 07 - 12:33 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Feb 07 - 10:05 PM
Amos 26 Feb 07 - 10:01 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 07 - 09:46 PM
Amos 26 Feb 07 - 04:32 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 07 - 12:32 PM
Acme 26 Feb 07 - 12:20 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 07 - 12:15 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Feb 07 - 11:21 AM
Amos 26 Feb 07 - 10:40 AM
Acme 26 Feb 07 - 10:32 AM
Amos 26 Feb 07 - 10:14 AM
Little Hawk 25 Feb 07 - 09:20 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 07 - 08:58 PM
Amos 25 Feb 07 - 08:49 PM
Acme 25 Feb 07 - 04:00 PM
Little Hawk 25 Feb 07 - 03:31 PM
Amos 25 Feb 07 - 02:13 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 07 - 01:51 PM
Bunnahabhain 25 Feb 07 - 01:21 PM
Amos 25 Feb 07 - 12:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Feb 07 - 12:13 PM
Amos 25 Feb 07 - 10:19 AM
Bunnahabhain 25 Feb 07 - 09:35 AM
Acme 25 Feb 07 - 03:33 AM
Rapparee 24 Feb 07 - 10:47 PM
Acme 24 Feb 07 - 01:47 PM
Amos 24 Feb 07 - 12:43 PM
Acme 24 Feb 07 - 11:04 AM
Amos 24 Feb 07 - 10:22 AM
Rapparee 24 Feb 07 - 09:49 AM
Rapparee 24 Feb 07 - 09:48 AM
Bunnahabhain 24 Feb 07 - 07:04 AM
Amos 23 Feb 07 - 11:31 PM
Rapparee 23 Feb 07 - 10:09 PM
Amos 23 Feb 07 - 09:40 PM
Little Hawk 23 Feb 07 - 08:08 PM
Amos 23 Feb 07 - 07:52 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 05:20 PM

The diminutive of Francis is Froink. So Rita could be related to Froink Doink.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 05:12 PM

We need more words in English that rhyme with the word "oink". Generations of poets have yearned to write passionately about pigs, but have found their efforts frustrated, because the English language does not provide any other legitimate words that rhyme with "oink".

The word "boink" comes up now and then as a sound effect in comic magazines, but that is not enough. "Boink" is not really a legitimate word that you can find in Webster's and it is not terribly useful in most dramatic contexts. No great speech, like the Gettysburg Address or the Sermon on the Mount, for example exists in which the word "boink" appears.

I recently got an email from someone in Europe who told me that I had won a million Euros. Her name was Rita Doink. I was very surprised, both by my good fortune in winning all those Euros, and by the fact that the surname "Doink" exists! My efforts to secure the million Euros have so far resulted in nothing, likewise my efforts to personally speak to Rita or other members of the Doink family. Could it be that "Rita Doink" is an alias? I certainly hope not! If Doink is a legitimate surname then it could open up further possibilities for rhyming with "oink", and that would be excellent.

Does anyone else here want to join with me in petitioning Oxford, Cambridge, and Eaton to officially induct several new worlds into the English language that rhyme with "oink"? I'm thinking maybe...

squoink
groink
calloink
maladroink
and passamodoquoink.

For a start anyway...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 04:53 PM

I told you that I always told the truth. All the Truth that's fit and then some -- that's my motto.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 03:42 PM

Oh, and I takre back everything mean I have ever said about Rapaire, for two reasons. One is that now I can start fresh!! The other is for leading me to such a fine and bluidy tale.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 12:18 PM

Here's the whole story, a brutal one indeed.

Odd how them white boys got off, too. And the amount of gold was rumoured to be up to $55000 by 1890 standards, and that makes them freezers awful valuable fer old Amanas.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 11:58 AM

For example, Chea Yow's body -- shot, beheaded, and its hands cut off -- was found at the place where Lower Granite dam now crosses the Snake.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 11:57 AM

Nope, nope, nope. This tale is Strange, but it's not fiction strange. This is Truth and therefore stranger than fiction.

And if you doubt me, you can check out the facts I've given easily enough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 10:20 AM

Anyone else see The Honey Pot? Based on Ben Jonson's Valpone.

Where is the oldest cemetery in town?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 09:54 AM

I think they hid the Gold in plain sight, and the secret just got forgotten about over the years, and Rapaire just stumbled across it.

It's hard to go through a detective book of a certain era without the gold having been melted down, copper plated and turned into those old heavy pans that you don't use any more, the sash window weights being the family silver.

Of course, this is easier in places where the written history goes back more than two centuries, but you've got to work with what you have....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 09:27 AM

Now he's toying wid us. I tell ya, he's bluffing. It's a nice bluff, though!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 09:26 AM

I'll bet the big secret is *none* of the treasure is in the buried freezers! Who would have thunk?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 09:24 AM

Now I must digress a bit and bring the second thread, like the tributary of a mighty river, into your view.

It was 1887 and Chea Yow and other Chinese were working poor claims on the Snake River bars in Hell's Canyon -- the claims that paid only $5 or so a day, claims the White Men didn't want. They'd been brought over by the Sam Yup and after they'd made enough money they'd be heading back to China.

Earlier the Nez Perce had been ordered onto a Reservation. The timetable was too short for the Nez Perce to gather all of their cattle and horses, so many were left to run free. These were gathered by groups of roughs locally called "cowboys" and taken from the Oregon side to the Idaho side and sold to undiscriminating buyers.

A group of these "cowboys" apparently decided that it would be easier to rob the Chinese than to run horses and cattle. To make a long story short, "cowboys" including Frank Vaughan, Bruce Evans, Homer La Rue, Robert McMillan, Carl Hughes and H. Maynard shot and very brutally killed at least 23 Chinese and stole about USD 55,000 in gold flour and dust. We know this from a deathbed confession Robert McMillan made to his father in 1891 and other evidence came from the trials at which the defendants were found not guilty.

Many of those involved were eventually tracked down, but Homer LaRue and Frank Vaughan more or less vanished from history. A bottle containing USD 700.00 in gold dust was later found at the site of one of the Chinese camps, but otherwise the bulk of the gold vanished too.

Only it didn't. Homer LaRue and Vaughan took the hidden gold and made their way towards the Land of the Yankee Fork, where gold was being found. On the way, LaRue shot Vaughan in the back of the head and turned his path southeastwards, toward Pocatello Junction. Now wanted for the murder of Vaughan, he changed his name when he got to Pocatello (as the town was now known) and became known as one of the local bad men. He seemed to always have some money, but he wasn't connected with either the "Chinese Massacre" or the murder of Vaughan. For many years he lived in Pocatello, a bully and a drunk.

He fathered a daughter by one of the denizens of the "Walled City," as the Red Light District was known, and he doted on her. Eventually, he sent her East to school and she returned a very beautiful and accomplished young woman and took a position teaching at the Idaho Academy (now Idaho State University).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 07 - 12:33 AM

Hell, he ain't telling jack. I betcha he don't even KNOW the story. It's jes' bluff and wind, is all. I betcha...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 10:05 PM

Well, if they ain't dead they're probably in jail. What's the worse thing that can happen if something incriminating gets revealed? A couple more years added to their sentences? Big deal! Tell th' story, dammit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 10:01 PM

Hell, just tell me where X marks the spot. I won't tell no-one...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 09:46 PM

I dunno, Amos. Even though Mom told me to Tell All, I'm still not sure. I don't want to be called a bald-faced liar and a truth-stretcher. Especially since Prominent Names And Families are involved and some of the folks ain't dead yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 04:32 PM

Well, I didn't see where you revealed the exact location (or more likely, subsequent disposition) of said gold, amigo.

But I will say that the notion you buried them freezers in order to hide a cache of 19th century loot is very appealing, and preferable to the belief you were using 'em to store body parts in. So I'll trade in the one for t'other. Iffen I can get the final chapter on the gold.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 12:32 PM

I've told you before, the truth is so unbelievable that I wouldn't reveal it at all except Mom told me to.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 12:20 PM

I think your house's previous owners found the hiding spot and decided the disguise the hiding spot by putting a couple of freezers over the top of it. And when they got ready to leave and saw how much work it would be to move the chests, they said "Ah, fuck it--who needs a treasure in gold coins anyway?" and the moving van pulled out of the driveway and that's all they wrote. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 12:15 PM

Y'all are jumping to conclusions. The freezers are chest-type and date from the late 1960s.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 11:21 AM

I hate to Disagree, but the first effective freezers were patented in the 1840s, and would not have been that uncommon at the end of the 19th century.....

Now, if our hero came back into town in 1885, settled down, had a family, and had the son grow up into a teenager before his past caught up with him, we must be looking at 1900 or so.

I'm afraid we really have to be thinking of Idaho as totally beyond civilisation, a backwater of no note and irredeemable barbarity, to account for the lack of freezers in which to bury the gold. Either that, or Gluon has made a mess of the time-space condominium again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 10:40 AM

Especially sinc ethey hadn't been invented yet whent he secret was written down...damn clever these Idaho's.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 10:32 AM

So that's it--the freezers are hiding the hiding place of the gold. Very clever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 07 - 10:14 AM

You might need one. You seem to enjoy that sort of resource. To me, the code is transparent. It's a question of authorship -- you see behind such a tale a roomful of chips, where I see but one.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 09:20 PM

You need a room full of chimps to break that code...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 08:58 PM

Well, you all know of Brockie Jack, Dave Updycke and the rest and how they pulled the Port Neuf stage robbery near here on July 26, 1865. You all know that the USD 86,000 in gold (now estimated to be worth about USD 1.6 million) has never been found. And of course you know that Dave Updycke was hanged by the Vigilantes, Willy Whitmore was shot down in Arizona, and another one, Miller, was hung over in Colorado by a Vigilante group there.

Brockie Jack got clean away. And he was the only one of the gang who was able to tell where the gold was hidden, because Updycke just kinda glared at the Vigilantes with contempt when they ask him.

(Henry Plummer wasn't involved in this, in case you were thinking that maybe the Plummer gang was involved. This was mostly because Henry had been hanged by the Vigilantes in Bannack, Montana in 1864.)

Anyway, what isn't well known is that Brockie Jack came BACK to Pocatello in 1883. He had a bit of gold, enough to live on, and never seemed to lack enough money for a place to live, some food, a touch of whiskey now and then, and most importantly, to marry a local woman by whom he had three kids -- two twin girls and a boy.

Brockie Jack used a different name, of course, and he's buried out in Mountainview Cemetery under that alias. He worked at the Farmers' and Miners' Bank as a cashier, and then bought up the Railroad Merchandise Emporium on First Street, next to Chubb's Drug Store.

Well, one day one of the Bad Men (they never found out who) apparently came into town on a UP train and recognized Brockie Jack. He promptly shot eleven holes in Brockie and promptly left town again. Dying, Brockie called for his son and in his dying moments told the teenager exactly where out on Big Southern Butte the gold from that long-ago holdup was hidden.

The son, however, was nothing like his father. He shunned whiskey, women and tobacco and finally Went East to attend a seminary. He came back to town as a Baptist Preacher, married, and had his own family. He was well respected, and was one of those who not only helped to found the public library here, but also the hospital. When he passed away there was much mourning.

He did, however, leave the directions to the treasure in the care of his wife. She hid it in a "secret drawer" in his desk, which was eventually donated by the family to the Bannock County Historical Society.

Time passed. The robbery wasn't forgotten and neither was the gold, but it passed from truth to legend. And then, during an open house at the Historical Society's Museum, the "secret drawer" in the desk was found and so were the directions to the gold.

They were encoded. Not just encoded, but encrypted. And it wasn't one of those "A=1, B=2" things either. This was a real tough nut to crack, and nobody seemed able to do it.

They tried letter frequency counts, for instance. Didn't work, although one of the results DID yield what seemed to be a fragment of a lost play by Moliere and another a pretty danged good biscuit recipe (used for years at the Bannock Hotel, until that old landmark was torn down).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 08:49 PM

Local Librarian Denies Storing Dead Bodies in Freezers

Insists Buried Freezers Are for Jello, Squid


Survey Shows 65% Think He Lies



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 04:00 PM

Coming Up Next!

The new serial from the MOAB Irregulars

Freezer Downs

A racy, chilling tale
In three acts.


I'm sure it will begin shortly. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 03:31 PM

That is a great theory, Amos! I think we should have Chongo go and investigate and see if it's true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 02:13 PM

My explanation for your freezers, good sir, is as sound as your explanation for the etymological provenance of Downs.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 01:51 PM

If you would PM me your email address, I shall email you pictures of said freezers.

There is not a shred, tittle, jot, or dottle of truth in what either Amos OR Bee-Dubya-Ell says. The Truth is so bizarre, so outrageous, so unbelievable, that I have until now kept it to myself since I knew that no one would believe me.

However, I've spoken with Mom and she says that the time has come to Explain It All.

And so I will.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 01:21 PM

Her is the great God of typographical errors. She is honoured daily in my work...

This is why I've proofread the 7 large placards I 'voulnteered' to make several times.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 12:32 PM

Well, that's as may be, but I find your explanation out of character and pedestrian compared to my own, BW. I am sure the freezers are a component of a larger character issue.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 12:13 PM

Actually, the buried freezers are required to keep the lime Jello in in Rapire's basement Jello-wrestling pit at a comfortable temperature for the Humongous Squid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 10:19 AM

Who is "her"?

Anyway, as you know, Rapaire is a man closely attuned to violent solutions and the implements thereof. So he keeps a couple of freezers buried in the back yard. They are sodded over -- as he often is himself -- and protected by random sprinklings of junk and rubble -- hmmm, the parallels are fascinating -- and because they are freezers, they defeat efforts by the police to find recently expired victims using infrared heat sensor devices. So when his violent side gets the better of him, and he cuts some housewife's throat with his epee or guts some insurance salesman by accident, thinking him to be an intruder because he rang the doorbell at 11 AM on Saturday, or he demonstrates his military arsenal to the neighbor in retribution for the neighbor's dog having messed up his calla lilies, why it's no worries. Into the freezer they go. If it gets full, well, the alarm has long since died down and he can grind 'em up for fertilizer at his leisure and make room for more.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 09:35 AM

Serious question. What is it with buried freezers. It's some reference I don't get, and it's definitely better to ask her than to look it up online....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 03:33 AM

BamBam isn't just the sound of you working out back then, is it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 10:47 PM

You can only see the buried freezers if you view the house with back-scatter x-rays so that you can see through the roof, the floor of the deck, and the junk I've piled over them so nobody gets locked inside. I'm slowly filling them up with various types of rubble. You know: Barney, Wilma....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 01:47 PM

That's what I said--it's odd that when I plug in my address the dot ends up beside my next door neighbor who DOES have a car in the driveway. Mine is beside him without a car. It's in the garage. I had to make the label before the photo came up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 12:43 PM

It is odd to me that you have placed the label "No car n driveway" right next to a visual artifact that looks, somehow, exactly like a car in, um, a driveway! What a strange coincidence!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 11:04 AM

Focus in on Rap's back yard and see if those buried freezers are visble near his back sundeck. I wonder if Amos parks his car in his driveway?

Funny, when I do the search on my local map database, it comes up at the next door neighbor's yard where there IS a car in the driveway.

my house.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 10:22 AM

Or Gram Canyon or...or... . Hell, I ain't much about geography. Try patting your head and rubbing your stomach at the same time.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 09:49 AM

Or Craters of hte Moon National Park. Or Yellowstone NP.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 09:48 AM

Try the Sawtooth Mountains. Or the Frank Church River of No Return Wilderness.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 24 Feb 07 - 07:04 AM

I've been ignoring this little tiff altogether, by playing Sky Geology over Arizona, with Google Earth, coffee, and textbooks. I was trying to study properly, but got distracted and went wow alot instead....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 07 - 11:31 PM

No harm, no fowl, as the duckhunter said when he came home empty handed.

ANyway, I will share a little secret. The people who have been to Tampa usually insist it was Saint Petersburg. The reason for this is that they don't want to admit to being Tampons.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Feb 07 - 10:09 PM

Sir,

Your apology is sufficient and accepted. Given the current political situation in our Nation's Capital, may I suggest a more cautious use of the the letter "W"? As I'm certain you are aware to call someone a "W" can lead to a demand for immediate satisfaction, and quite rightly so. As we say in The West, "Them's fightin' words, pardner."

Just the other evening Mr. Hardrock Hammes became embroiled in fisticuffs with Mr. Jump-up John outside of the Idaho Legion Hovel after Mr. Hammes decided that Mr. John had called him "W." It was, of course, a misunderstanding as Mr. John (who stutters) actually said, "W-w-w-w-where's the toilet?" Fortunately, Mr. John struck Mr. Hammes on the head with a shovel and no one was actually injured. Mr. Hammes bought Mr. John several drinks afterwards, including one called a "Saturday Night Special." When last seen Mr. Hammes and Mr. John were sitting together, arms around each other, weeping over their newly-found friendship.

Thanking you for your candor in this matter, I remain,

Your servant,
Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 07 - 09:40 PM

Tell you what, LH -- you and Rapaire and Chongo go off and do your threesome thing, then, whatever it is you want to do, and I will stay snug and happy to home. Then, when you've worked it all out of your systems, come on back, welcome as always.

See, Rapaire is thinking he has been insulted. But that just ain't so. I told him what he wrote was well-witted. I concur I was a bit liberal with W's, but that is not an offense in most quarters.

Here...after you've done, you can figure out who your long-sought soulmate is, by name, even!.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Feb 07 - 08:08 PM

And Chongo will be our third...not that his services in that regard will be needed. But just so you know.

Shane would probably be willing to be your second, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Feb 07 - 07:52 PM

Rapaire:

Your second what? You're not even using your FIRST what, now are you?

A


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