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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 05 Feb 07 - 02:16 PM
Amos 05 Feb 07 - 01:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Feb 07 - 01:25 PM
Amos 05 Feb 07 - 01:04 PM
Rapparee 05 Feb 07 - 12:54 PM
Bunnahabhain 05 Feb 07 - 12:46 PM
Amos 05 Feb 07 - 12:44 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Feb 07 - 12:37 PM
MMario 05 Feb 07 - 11:59 AM
Amos 05 Feb 07 - 11:01 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Feb 07 - 10:51 AM
Bunnahabhain 05 Feb 07 - 09:39 AM
Amos 05 Feb 07 - 09:35 AM
GUEST,FOLK1E 04 Feb 07 - 08:13 PM
Bunnahabhain 04 Feb 07 - 05:13 PM
Rapparee 04 Feb 07 - 01:33 PM
Rapparee 04 Feb 07 - 01:32 PM
Acme 04 Feb 07 - 11:16 AM
Amos 04 Feb 07 - 10:55 AM
Rapparee 04 Feb 07 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 04 Feb 07 - 10:27 AM
Amos 04 Feb 07 - 10:19 AM
Rapparee 04 Feb 07 - 10:05 AM
Bunnahabhain 04 Feb 07 - 07:26 AM
Acme 04 Feb 07 - 02:38 AM
Amos 03 Feb 07 - 11:36 PM
Rapparee 03 Feb 07 - 10:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 07 - 10:29 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 07 - 10:28 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 07 - 10:22 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Feb 07 - 10:17 PM
frogprince 03 Feb 07 - 10:15 PM
Rapparee 03 Feb 07 - 09:56 PM
Amos 03 Feb 07 - 09:31 PM
Rapparee 03 Feb 07 - 08:24 PM
Amos 03 Feb 07 - 07:22 PM
Rapparee 03 Feb 07 - 09:33 AM
Acme 03 Feb 07 - 01:34 AM
Amos 03 Feb 07 - 12:02 AM
JennyO 02 Feb 07 - 10:52 PM
Rapparee 02 Feb 07 - 10:17 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Feb 07 - 10:02 PM
Amos 02 Feb 07 - 06:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Feb 07 - 03:36 PM
Rapparee 02 Feb 07 - 11:25 AM
Amos 02 Feb 07 - 09:25 AM
Rapparee 02 Feb 07 - 09:10 AM
MMario 02 Feb 07 - 09:07 AM
Rapparee 02 Feb 07 - 09:04 AM
MMario 02 Feb 07 - 08:55 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 02:16 PM

I'll try fighting my way through the ether to post this afternoon. A couple of attempts yesterday hung up and I gave up. I know this isn't due to MOM's girth (that's a nasty rumor).


. . .SRS
========


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 01:41 PM

At 15969 I think there is a lost square of three-ness inherent. That would be the way of the Tao, Jones.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 01:25 PM

You lost me, but that also is part of the MOAB way.

By the way (no, not the MOAB way, just the regular way) nobody commented upon the line in my previous post:

...it's proven impossible to get most of the younger generation to abandon their computer games long enough to engage in anything as esoteric as MOABing.

To the best of my knowledge, that represents the first instance of MOAB being used as a verb*. I have chosen not to pursue obtaining copyright for said usage so you guys can use it as you see fit. After all, expecting to be paid royalties by fellow MOABites just wouldn't be the MOAB way, would it?


* Yeah, I know MOABing is technically a gerund, but one can't have a gerund without first having a verb, can one?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 01:04 PM

If it's a Euler polynomial, scaled or not, it is not susceptible to eigenstructure. Anyone could see that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 12:54 PM

Is 16 a perfect number? Is it an amicable number? What did Pascal say about 16? What did Fermat say? How about Itsy Newton? Or Archie Medes? We need to know what the Great Mathematicians of the Past thought about 16!

For example, is it quintic polynomial? Some quintic polynomials are solvable by radicals, and MOABites are about as radical as they come. Or what about Demoivre's Theorem -- how does that apply to 16? It's obviously a Euler polynomial scaled by one-half, but what of the other half? And what is 16's Eigenstructure?

Inquiring minds must know these things and more!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 12:46 PM

I went for a walk in the park , and found some beautiful Lower Carboniferous ripple marks, with a baked cementstone, and a Dyke swarm, and some archaeologists making a mess with some traffic cones, and some council workmen half way up the Crags, trying to dislodge loose rock onto tourists below.

It's amazing what you see if you keep your eyes open...


I though BWL had far more fun that time we refused to send his clothes on, and he had to walk back naked, again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 12:44 PM

Yeah, MOAB way or the highway, or the other way, or the old way, or my way, or the throughqway, or the freeway, or the Overdahillzanfarra way. WhutEVer.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 12:37 PM

By the way, I'm aware that I could have stated the mathematical musing in my previous post by simply saying 16=2^4, but that would have been far to succinct, insufficiently obfuscatory, an not in keeping with my stature as the MOAB village idiot. Anyway, it just wouldn't be the MOAB way, and all things done on the MOAB must be done in the MOAB way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 11:59 AM

SNOW DAY!!!!!! yippee!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 11:01 AM

Great, BWL, just great. Have a safe trip, and let us know when you get back where to send your clothes how you want to organize the funding.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 10:51 AM

In view of Mom's impending Sweet Sixteenth, I think it appropriate to dwell, ponder, and generally go "Hmmmm!" about the number sixteen.

The square root of sixteen is four. The square root of four is two. So, not only is sixteen the sqaure of a whole number, but its square root is the square of a whole number as well. Sixteen is the first number in the decimal counting system to exhibit this characteristic. The next is 81 (3x3=9, 9x9=81), followed by 256 (4x4=16, 16x16=256), then 625 (5x5=25, 25x25=625), then 1296 (6x6=36, 36x36=1296) etc.

As one can easily see, the differences between numbers in this series get increasingly large as one progresses. Now, it's possible that, at current posting rates, most of the current crop of MOABites may be around when Mom hits 81,000 posts in about fifteen years. But 256,000 won't come around until 2063 and I doubt many of us will be around then.

So, as I see it, we have four options:

1) Post more frequently. Post, post, post!

2) Recruit new MOABites from among the current Mudcat membership. This could be extremely difficult since most of them think we're idiots.

3) Recruit new MOABites from outside the current Mudcat membership, particularly younger people who can carry on the MOABite way. This also could prove difficult since it's proven impossible to get most of the younger generation to abandon their computer games long enough to engage in anything as esoteric as MOABing.

4) Pay people to post. There's a gentleman in Nigeria who wishes to give me a ridiculously huge amount of money for doing nothing . I would be more than willing to donate the money he is going to send me to the cause.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 09:39 AM

Actually it's about 11.63 posts a a day, or one post every about 124 minutes.

We never make up anything round here!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Feb 07 - 09:35 AM

thereof

SYLLABICATION: there·of
PRONUNCIATION:   thâr-v, -v
ADVERB: 1. Of or concerning this, that, or it. 2. From that cause or origin; therefrom.




Damn adverbs, always putting on airs and pretending to prepositional status they don't deserve.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,FOLK1E
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 08:13 PM

15.357 POSTS PER DAY
OR 1 EVERY 1.56 HOURS
Sorry I just made these figures up ..... or did I?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 05:13 PM

There's no nonsense round here. I know, as I hunted it all down recently, and it was very tasty...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 01:33 PM

And as my dear friend, Winston Churchill, once said when accused of ending a sentence with a preposition, "That's the sort of nonsense up with which I will not put."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 01:32 PM

Thereof.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 11:16 AM

Here's your "at," what's your hurry?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 10:55 AM

Oh, I'm very sorry. Was it "play" , "thing", or "so" that you decided was a preposition?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 10:52 AM

You also spelled "mushrooms" wrong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 10:27 AM

You're ending a sentence with a preposition, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 10:19 AM

Well, izzat so? I am sure it is terribly... large ...but knowing how to use it is of course the important thing. Show us, then, the proper use thereof. Or is Mushrroms of Patmos syndrome at play?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 10:05 AM

Ahem. I will have you know that I did NOT us a thesaurus, on-line or otherwise. So watch it -- I have a vocabulary and I know how to use it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 07:26 AM

That's better. I knew all I really needed was MOAB and some proper food. Having beaten their attempts to drive me to the edge of a nervous breakdown, intentional or not might have helped a bit as well....

They shall sweep all before them, but I shall not care, as my job is finished. They have numbered them, and their number shall be at least 24, and they have been placed, and they shall know their places. They shall be clothed in white, and this year they shall not wear pink underwear with it. They shall walk in files, or and random circles and up the walls if you hold the choreography the wrong way up. They sh..

Ahh, I've come down with a bad case of prophets. Now I look carefully, the tin of Mushrooms in lunch does say 'Produce of Patmos'


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Feb 07 - 02:38 AM

I needed a good chuckle before heading to bed. Thanks, BWL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 11:36 PM

Jeeze-arooty -- give a guy access to an on-line thesaurus and he takes a yard, meter, increment, measure, rod, chain or ell.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:41 PM

Well, he IS those things. Dirty and incoherent. He's also loathsome, tone deaf, scrofulous, woeful, scabarous, lousy, flea-bitten, hagridden, innumerate, vengeful, disparate, delusional, grandious, bombastic, obsequious, strabismic, inchoate, loud, intemperate, off-key, serpentine, uncorrected, byzantine, unedited, beggarly, ill conceived, thoughtless, and sottish.

President?? I dunno...he's got some bad points that I'm sure the media will blow all out of proportion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:29 PM

"Attenpts"? Ah, fuck it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:28 PM

"MULDOON!" he says, "MULDOON!" as he frantically attenpts to reverse the flow of time to a point 1/10th of a second before he hit the "Submit" botton.

WTF? Even Tweed's crappy website has post editing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:22 PM

Okay, now that I've regained my composure, I suggest we nominate Mudfoot Nuldoon for President! Inasmuch as Senator Biden has drug being clean and articulate through the mud, perhaps we should have a candidate who is dirty and incoherent. Who better to fit the bill than Mudfoot?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:17 PM

Oh, boo-hoo-hoo, sob, sob, sub, zub, snorch, blwah, fnrrrt!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: frogprince
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 10:15 PM

Quick, post that one on the Tearjerker thread!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 09:56 PM

Well, if you haven't heard of Mudfoot Muldoon, the one-man jug band, you probably haven't heard of Gordon Lightfoot, Mary Travers, Pete Seeger, Bob Dylan, Joan Baez, Judy Collins, Tommy Makem, Utah Phillips, Blind Lemon Jefferson, Art Thieme, BB King, Paul Stookey, or any of them other musical artists who are known and celebrated throughout the known and unknown world. Ken Khandu is probably unknown to you! You must be ignorant of the works of Tweed his own self!

Frankly, I am shocked and dismayed by such a display of...of ignorance...on your part! But ignorance can be overcome by study and perserverence. Therefore, I will provide you with Mudfoot's greatest hit and you can study it and learn from it and even try to match his singing accompanied by his incomparable jug blowing. Here you are:

WILLIE'S AND NELLIE'S WISH

Willie and Nellie, one evening sat
      By their own little cottage door;
They saw a man go staggering by --
      Says Willie, "That's Mr. Lanore;
He is just going home from town, where
      He has been in a saloon.
When Maggie and I came from school,
      Said Maggie, 'Please papa, come home.'

"She asked him again, again, to come home.
      At last he got angry, and said:
'Maggie, go home -- don't bother me so;
      Go home now, and shut up your head.'
Poor girl, she came weeping all the way,
      As though her poor heart would break.
She could not play, not a word would say;
      With playmates no pleasure could take."

"'Tis the same child," Willie replied;
      "I'm sorry for Maggie Lanore.
I wish her papa would sign the pledge,
      And try to be a man once more.
He drinks up all the money he earns,
      In whiskey, rum, gin and beer;
His home is a home of poverty,
      Made so by his own career."

Says Nellie, "I wish Mr. Lanore
      Would go to the meeting to-night,
And hear the temperance lecture;
      Then perhaps he would try to do right.
One more little home of happiness,
      Would be in our midst, I am sure;
Then Maggie Lanore could say with joy.
      'My papa don't drink any more.'"

Said Nellie, "I told her never mind,
      We would be her friends evermore;
I hoped her papa would sign the pledge,
      Then he would not drink any more.
Then smiling through her tears, she said,
      'The temperance pledge, you mean;
If papa would sign it, then mamma
      And I will take comfort, I ween.'"

"I wonder," says Nellie, "can it be,
      The same child I saw go to school?
She wore ragged clothes. I saw her toes
      Were peeping out of her old shoes.
She has curly hair, and mild blue eyes;
      Can this child be Maggie Lanore?
If it is her, I sincerely wish
      Her papa won't drink any more."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 09:31 PM

Your surety is misplaced, my friend, but I have grown accustomed to it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 08:24 PM

Them Legionaires (and the Legion Aires) are most certainly all what they're cracked up to be and much, much more. You haven't LIVED until you've heard Chickenheart Wallace play a hoedown on his soprano piobrach, or Mudfoot really gettin' down on something bluesy, blowin' his collection of empty bottles, cans and jugs ("Mudfoot" Muldoon, The One-Man Jug Band -- you've heard of him, I'm sure).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 07:22 PM

POstage due? The mailman should pay BWL for the privilege of their company!! Isn't that the kind of gals we're talking about? Mebbe them Legionnaires aren't all they're cracked up to be!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 09:33 AM

The Idaho Legion Aires wish to announce that the recording will be available in long-playing 78 rpm format on the Deep Pile label. This is in spite of their long-standing contracts with Colombia, Electrolux, Red Light House, and other famous recording companies. In lieu of royalties (which the composer has graciously donated to the "Let's Help Rapaire Retire With Great Wealth Fund"), Bee-Dubya-Ell's picture (taken in his younger, beardless days) will appear on the back of the liner notes.

The Legion Aires will also forward their groupie rejects to Bee-Dubya, postage due.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 01:34 AM

I had a really long day out--left the house before 8am and didn't get back until 10:30pm. I'm glad to see that while I was gone you've been playing nicely and singing to Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Feb 07 - 12:02 AM

You da man, BeeDubya!!! You da Man!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 10:52 PM

Aw Bee-dub (sniff) - that's beautiful (choke, sob, sniff) - Mom is really gonna know her children appreciate her when we sing that. Why, I might even play along on my flolodler!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 10:17 PM

The Idaho Legion Aires (Best Big Band In North-Northwestern Bannock County) have decided to record that song. Slidin' Ike, the Director, said that it was the best thing he's heard since "Puny Joe The Rassler" made 47th place on "Your Rattlesnake Creek Hit Parade" back in 1954. Which is interesting as all git out since Ike wasn't born until 1969. Anyway, it'll feature dueling ocarinas if they can get them sobered up in time, a flautophone, and Bee Sharpe playing her G-flat clarinet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 10:02 PM

Okay, I've got Mom's Sweet Sixteen song written. You guys have however long it takes to make seventy-one more posts to learn it.



You're a thread from a dream
Your bullshit's supreme
A BS nukular bomb
You're sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're Mom

You're BS to our ear
It's you we revere
As other threads go and come
You're sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're Mom

        {Bridge}
        You're our MOAB, you're our thread
        We love you more than Wonderbread
        The mouse went "click", BS went "plop"
        When we started posting we could not stop

You appeared on the screens
Of our computin' machines
To BS we did succumb
You're sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're Mom
You're sixteen, you're beautiful, and you're Mom


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 06:53 PM

Give her 72 more, brothers and sisters! Seventy-two more and we'll have sweet fuck-all Sixteen!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 03:36 PM

Hah! Only the unwashed in places like Idaho still deep fry their lard sticks! Those of us with a modicum of class sauté our lard sticks in extra virgin olive oil flavored with a bit of fresh basil.

By the way, I'm not going to make up a silly holiday for today. After all, it's Groundhog Day and it'd be hard to come up with anything sillier than that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 11:25 AM

It's an old family recipe which my grandmother made every meal for my grandfather, who died of stroke, heart attack, and hardened arteries.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 09:25 AM

Sounds finger-lickin' good!! (Barf!!!!!)



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 09:10 AM

Not the twinkies, no. Too many calories. I'm going to have deep fat fried lard sticks instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 09:07 AM

That's the one! Are you celebrating tonight with the traditional chicken fried steak and deep fried twinkies?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 09:04 AM

Good ol' St. Phil. Patron saint of shadows, mythological meteorology, and greasy food.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Feb 07 - 08:55 AM

Did I say St. Phillip was a Catholic saint? *grin*


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