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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 16 Apr 06 - 04:26 PM
Rapparee 16 Apr 06 - 03:08 PM
Amos 16 Apr 06 - 01:04 PM
Acme 16 Apr 06 - 12:09 PM
Acme 16 Apr 06 - 02:07 AM
Acme 15 Apr 06 - 06:39 PM
Bunnahabhain 15 Apr 06 - 06:28 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 06 - 04:08 PM
Acme 15 Apr 06 - 02:47 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Apr 06 - 12:24 PM
Rapparee 15 Apr 06 - 12:00 PM
Bunnahabhain 15 Apr 06 - 11:50 AM
Rapparee 15 Apr 06 - 11:49 AM
Acme 15 Apr 06 - 11:41 AM
Rapparee 15 Apr 06 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 06 - 09:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 06 - 09:03 PM
Amos 14 Apr 06 - 08:26 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 06 - 06:21 PM
Acme 14 Apr 06 - 06:16 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 14 Apr 06 - 05:23 PM
Bunnahabhain 14 Apr 06 - 05:12 PM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 06 - 05:10 PM
MOAB 14 Apr 06 - 04:48 PM
Amos 14 Apr 06 - 04:14 PM
MMario 14 Apr 06 - 03:16 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 06 - 03:14 PM
Little Hawk 14 Apr 06 - 02:37 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 06 - 01:10 PM
MMario 14 Apr 06 - 12:34 PM
Acme 14 Apr 06 - 12:25 PM
Rapparee 14 Apr 06 - 11:26 AM
MMario 14 Apr 06 - 10:23 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 06 - 10:23 AM
Acme 14 Apr 06 - 10:16 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 06 - 09:54 AM
MMario 14 Apr 06 - 09:48 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 06 - 09:40 AM
MMario 14 Apr 06 - 09:36 AM
Acme 14 Apr 06 - 09:36 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Apr 06 - 09:30 AM
Rapparee 14 Apr 06 - 09:21 AM
MMario 14 Apr 06 - 08:54 AM
Amos 14 Apr 06 - 01:01 AM
Acme 13 Apr 06 - 11:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Apr 06 - 09:33 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 06 - 09:00 PM
Amos 13 Apr 06 - 08:05 PM
MOAB 13 Apr 06 - 06:39 PM
Rapparee 13 Apr 06 - 06:36 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Apr 06 - 04:26 PM

Instant grits are an abomination! Regular grits aren't anything to write home about, but instant grits are only good for one thing. Spread dry instant grits on ant beds and when the ants eat them they'll swell up in the ants' digestive tracts, killing the little buggers.

Unfortunately, no similar beneficial use has been found for haggis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Apr 06 - 03:08 PM

We hire ours out, too. Might have saved the ol' marriage. Besides, it costs about US $ 350, but we get about (literally) ten times that back. I consider it a good investment.

It is Easter. I made grits souffle, smoked sausage, and fresh strawberries for breakfast.

Grits Souffle
(Quantities and temperatures are US, so adjust accordingly)

2 cups milk
1/2 cup instant grits
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
2 Tablespoons melted butter
1/2 teaspoon sugar
3 eggs, seperated

Preheat the oven to 375 degrees F. Grease a 1 1/2 quart casserole or souffle dish (I use butter).

Scald the milk; add grits and cook until thick, stirring constantly. Add salt, baking powder, butter and sugar; mix well. Beat egg yolks and add to grits.

Whip egg whites until they hold soft peaks and fold into grits mixture. Pour into prepared dish.

Bake at 375 degrees F. for 30 minutes and serve hot. Will serve 6, but more likely 4, or if you really like it as we do, 2.

HINT: Before adding egg white, mix in 1/2 cup grated sharp cheddar cheese and a dash of tabasco sauce. (I realized this morning that some finely dices mild green chiles would work well with the cheese and tabasco sauce. I also used Tiger Sauce this morning because I didn't have any tabasco and it worked very well.)


This recipe came from Christina Campbell's Tavern in Colonial Williamsburg, so don't go sniffin' in the air and think that it takes like watery grits. It doesn't. In fact, I'm make it more often if I had the time. Make it, serve it, and don't tell 'em what it is until after they say "YUM YUM YUMMY!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Apr 06 - 01:04 PM

I believe the deadline is Monday. We hired ours out. The stress saved was worth it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Apr 06 - 12:09 PM

Mom, looks like we're here all by ourselves. The guys must be out hiding eggs for neighborhood children. My kiddos are big enough they don't need eggs hidden (and we ate a good number of those wonderful Cadbury eggs during the last couple of weeks).

Still working on my taxes, Schedule A. Didn't have enough stolen that was not reimbursed by the insurance company to equal 10 percent of my adjusted salary, so I've stopped on that form and am working on the one to do with "Taxes You Paid" on Schedule A, lines 5 - 8. I shouldn't be playing on the computer at all except I had to come look up page five of the instructions for Schedule A. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Apr 06 - 02:07 AM

Sorry to have been away so long, MOM. I'm a late one this year, spending the day doing my taxes. Every step seems to involve research and finding a folder with a form, and then finding the corresponding IRS publication with one paragraph that pertains to my number. I'm on Schedule A right now and realize one company didn't send me the form they should have so I have to fill things out a little differently and report the points on refinancing the house myself. The really slow part was the state sales tax, but by going through my receipts and totalling them I'll get a lot more back, since the allowance is about 1/3 of the actual amount I spent this year (the burglary and replacement equipment was part of it).

But everyone else probably had their taxes in a long time ago so isn't interested in this saga so I'll stop now. (Now that I've finished printing up form 4684 and instructions for casualties and thefts. . . I shoulda started this earlier, but I've had so many things to do this spring and I was sick with the crud for a whole month. . . I haven't even had time to put in a GARDEN, Mom! Whaaa!)

Time for bed. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 06 - 06:39 PM

Do rock operas count?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Apr 06 - 06:28 PM

BWL, you owe me a new keyboard for that jigsaw comment.

I was actually thinking of SRS's hair words. Many more of those, and songs would be invoked, and MOAB would end up upstairs, and you know she can't handle the altitude, thin air and seriousness up there...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 06 - 04:08 PM

Yeah, and I've got a saber saw but they won't let me use it at fencing practice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 06 - 02:47 PM

You've busted it, so the jig's up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Apr 06 - 12:24 PM

Among my collection of power tools I have a circular saw. I don't know why they call it that because it's only good for sawing in straight lines. Try to use it to cut a circle and you'll probably cut your finger off instead.

I also have a jig saw with which I'm extremely dissapointed. When you turn it on it only goes "Whirrrrrrr...." I expected it to go, "WHIR, whir, whir, WHIR, whir, whir."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 06 - 12:00 PM

Words like "praying"??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Apr 06 - 11:50 AM

any more words like that, and a greenwoodside or such like will suddenly appear, and someone will find themselves pregnant or press-ganged into playing a minor role opposite William Shatner....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 06 - 11:49 AM

And they all said "Hare Krishna" a lot. And smoked that LSD acid and and dropped that marywanna and said "Groovy" and "Like, far out" and "Wow man!" a lot, too.

I wouldn't know, I wasn't there. I was back in Illinois, working at the college library and playing with the National Guard and going to the beach (at the old gravel pit) and quaffing spiritous liquor, usually better booze than I could actually afford. And praying a lot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Apr 06 - 11:41 AM

They had all of that long beautiful hair (shining, gleaming, streaming, flaxen, waxen).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Apr 06 - 10:15 AM

Didn't Mama Lucca run an Italian restaurant in Haight during the Summer Of Love? I think that Richard Broke washed dishes there and sometimes waited on tables.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 09:27 PM

Down at the bottom is an ad for "Techno Lead & Ball Screw." I don't wanna think what this is.

In an old police ledger here in town is the description of a guy as a "vagrant pimp." I kinda like that description.

I can't call LH anything 'cause Mom said not to. Otherwise I'd call him a Shatner-lover. And a vagrant pimp.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 09:03 PM

Don't forget "broke-dick mamalucca", Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 08:26 PM

More like a pod of peas, I expect.

Little Hawk you are a shambles of moral desuetude and frayed and unuseable ethics. You are, in short, a bounder beyond bounds, a cad beyond Cadbury's, and a two-bit shmuck, as well as a rattle-brained fuckwit.

There. I said it. And I am GLAD, you hear me?

Bwahhhaaaaahahahahahahha.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 06:21 PM

Wild rutabagas move in herads??? I didn't know that. Kinda like a pod of whales, huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 06:16 PM

Where's Carl Sandburg when you need him?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 05:23 PM

Either that or heat up a big pot of water. Fast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 05:12 PM

HIDE! all this talk of shatner ans such like has caused a herad of Wild Rutabaga to stampede this way. Run For the Hills! Run for your lives!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 05:10 PM

Heh! I knew that would curdle your blood with dread, Amos. Fear not, I am keeping that last WMD in reserve unless...unless some unpardonable offence is committed.





(like people taking Shatner's name in vain or showing him less than the appropriate level of respect)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MOAB
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 04:48 PM

Bee-dubya you half-brained fuck-wit! You've accomplished absolutely nothing! First you try to saddle your Mom with the title of "SUCKASS". Then you change it to "SHATNER".

THEY'RE BOTH THE SAME THING, YOU IMBECILE!

Thank God our relationship is strictly a work of fiction because if you were my real son I'd hit you up beside the head with a frying pan!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 04:14 PM

LH:

Don't you goddam dare. Don't you DARE. There are few enduring virtues here in the 'Cat and you threaten a thin thread indeed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 03:16 PM

now, now. It's LH, remeber? we must make allowances.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 03:14 PM

Sanity and good taste? Prevail? At Mom's place????

How DARE you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 02:37 PM

I'm glad to see that sanity and good taste are finally prevailing on this bloated thread. Bravo!

Guys, your checks are in the mail... ;-D

Now the only other thing that needs to be done, besides the renaming, is to get Shambles on here regularly. How do we accomplish that, I wonder?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 01:10 PM

The best way to lie is to tell the complete truth, but in such a way that nobody believes you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 12:34 PM

desensatization. it's happenning all over.

first you whisper it in a teensy silver font - befor eyou know it it's being shouted in 72 point bold all over the internet!

They should never have let Archie Bunker flush that damn toilet!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 12:25 PM

I just whispered it in a silver font. I don't think anyone heard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 11:26 AM

So did Beedub. Wash BOTH their mouths out with really strong lye soap and string them up in the hot sun by their thumbs and keelhaul the...no, wait, Stilly might like that stuff. So might Beedub.

Okay, just wash their mouths out with plain old soap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 10:23 AM

! !! !!!



oooooo - SRS said the 'S'- word! MOM - wash her mouth out with soap!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 10:23 AM

But, you see, misspelling "wrong" as "rong" goes well beyond merely negating the stated claim of infallability. It invalidates the entire concept, therefore making the "SHATNER" null, void, and utterly pointless! Look for the subtleties. Look for the innuendos. Look for the double entendres. Look for the union label!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 10:16 AM

Oops, mea culpa. Brain fart. I got that wrong, Leo. I must have opened the screen just large enough to start reading at your post and just blacked out after that. The possibility of a [shudder] Shatner moniker is just too shocking. I lost my head.

Shame on you, BWL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 09:54 AM

Yes, I spelled "wrong" wrong! That's the whole point! Someone who is never "rong" will always be wrong. What more subtle way of negating a claim of infallability than to build a glaring error into the claim's statement? I am a geenius!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 09:48 AM

rong -1. v.; past tense of 'to ring'; archaic;
            -2. v.; to make a bad decision - obselete slang
            -3. v.; to achieve (female) sexual orgasm - slang


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 09:40 AM

You spelled wrong wrong.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 09:36 AM

How the *heck* did LH get ahold of bee-dubya's password?

srs - I'm hurt! I didn't suggest it! bwl did!

unless it realy *was* LH masquerading.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 09:36 AM

Don't You Dare, MMario!

Little Hawk would be insufferable and I don't think that name can convey the scope and sophistication of MOM.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 09:30 AM

I have it! The perfect name for Mom's new position as head cheese of Mudcat forum moderation!

"Supreme Holy Arbiter That's Never Ever Rong"

You get to work out the acronym for yourselves.

Oh! The subtlety! The innuendo! The double entendre! The bullshit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 09:21 AM

I got my broadheads out and I was running to shoot them and I fell and almost put out my eye! Mom was right -- never run when you're carrying broadheads cuz you could fall and put your eye out and then you might have to wear big thick glasses!

As it is, I just ran it through my arm muscle, but I put a bandaid on it and I didn't cry hardly at all.   Don't tell Mom, okay? I want the scar to be a surprise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 08:54 AM

rapaire! YOu should never shoot at a *passing* cop -- you might annoy their posse; only shoot if they STOP!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Apr 06 - 01:01 AM

BWL:

Couldn't you use a BB gun?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Apr 06 - 11:18 PM

I have the same experience with leaves. They're the best way to conceal neighbors' yards who insist on growing nothing but eyesores on their property. They also cut down on the road noise from the highway three blocks north of us.

I like the idea of an acronym, but agree with MOM. Find something elegant, nuanced even, that displays wit and culture along with gritty determination.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Apr 06 - 09:33 PM

Hey, Mom! Guess what! I can stand on my deck and not see any heighbors' friggin' security lights through what's left of the woods! Just a couple of weeks ago I could see about twenty of the damned things. Aren't leaves wonderful?

Oops! I'm supposed to still be in my room, huh? Tell ya what, Mom, how about we change the name of that position to something simple like "The All-Knowing Big Cheese" and forget all that acronym crap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 06 - 09:00 PM

Hot diggety dog! Dig out the broadheads, boys, Mom said I can shoot something! Let's see...golfers...the neighbor who stole my fence...a passing cop....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Apr 06 - 08:05 PM

Hey, Mom:

Can we make a deal? You drop your snit against BWL's minor slip of the tongue, and I'll retract the suggestion you be the Mudcat Suckass and porpose you for Kickass, instead.

Have we got a deal?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MOAB
Date: 13 Apr 06 - 06:39 PM

That's nice, Rapaire. Now go shoot something. I'm still pissed off at Bee-Dubya.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Apr 06 - 06:36 PM

Hey, Mom! Guess what? A week or so ago we went to The Great Potato Bowl thing and had some really good potato dishes from all these different restaurants. But guess what! There was that Silent Auction, you know? And I didn't even bid on the vodka! In fact, I bid on a membership in the Pocatello Field Archers and Mom? I won!! I was just trying to get the bidding started, too. Anyway, I offered twenty bucks and got a US $75 membership. Now I can go shoot arrows and things at targets.

That's me, Mom. Riflery, fencing, shooting arrows at things...why, it's just like old times when I was 12 or 13!


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