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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 28 Feb 06 - 05:17 PM
John MacKenzie 28 Feb 06 - 02:53 PM
Amos 28 Feb 06 - 02:42 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 06 - 02:34 PM
Acme 28 Feb 06 - 01:49 PM
MMario 28 Feb 06 - 12:39 PM
Little Hawk 28 Feb 06 - 12:31 PM
John MacKenzie 28 Feb 06 - 12:30 PM
MMario 28 Feb 06 - 12:22 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 06 - 12:13 PM
John MacKenzie 28 Feb 06 - 09:48 AM
Amos 28 Feb 06 - 09:42 AM
Rapparee 28 Feb 06 - 08:44 AM
JennyO 28 Feb 06 - 08:22 AM
MMario 28 Feb 06 - 08:20 AM
Amos 28 Feb 06 - 01:57 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Feb 06 - 10:51 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 06 - 09:28 PM
Rustic Rebel 27 Feb 06 - 09:22 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 06 - 09:14 PM
Little Hawk 27 Feb 06 - 09:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Feb 06 - 08:29 PM
Amos 27 Feb 06 - 07:52 PM
Acme 27 Feb 06 - 07:10 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 06 - 07:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Feb 06 - 05:41 PM
John MacKenzie 27 Feb 06 - 04:26 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 06 - 03:49 PM
Amos 27 Feb 06 - 03:32 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 06 - 03:13 PM
MMario 27 Feb 06 - 02:54 PM
Little Hawk 27 Feb 06 - 02:51 PM
MOAB 27 Feb 06 - 02:47 PM
Little Hawk 27 Feb 06 - 02:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Feb 06 - 02:38 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 06 - 08:56 AM
Amos 26 Feb 06 - 10:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Feb 06 - 10:02 PM
Amos 26 Feb 06 - 09:02 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 06 - 07:42 PM
Amos 26 Feb 06 - 10:17 AM
Tweed 26 Feb 06 - 09:36 AM
John MacKenzie 26 Feb 06 - 04:31 AM
Acme 26 Feb 06 - 12:22 AM
Amos 26 Feb 06 - 12:14 AM
MOAB 25 Feb 06 - 11:24 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Feb 06 - 11:11 PM
Amos 25 Feb 06 - 11:02 PM
Rapparee 25 Feb 06 - 10:44 PM
Amos 25 Feb 06 - 10:35 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 05:17 PM

I just misread a thread title as "Are women better snots than men?". Must be time for either new glasses or more mature humor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 02:53 PM

Mr Bates and his son Master Bates

The lunatic who broke into the asylum laundry, raped the laundress and made his escape.

It said in the paper next day................

Nut Screws Washer and Bolts.

Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 02:42 PM

Come again?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 02:34 PM

He was probably akin to the midget spiritualist who broke out of jail, leading to the headline "Small Medium at Large".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 01:49 PM

Was he first cousin to Mr. Bigger whose baby son was a little bigger?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 12:39 PM

I once took a cruise on the good ship Deja Vu out across the Redundant Sea. The Captain was Captain Was. Peter P. Was, to give him his less formal name. Peter Peter, as he was known to his family back in Repeat, North Dakota.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 12:31 PM

You're all awash in a sea of redundancy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 12:30 PM

Hmmm


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 12:22 PM

we seem to be entering the annual "silly season" where copycat threads proliferate at enormous rate - and trolls of many sorts abound.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 12:13 PM

Think? What is this "think?" I know drink, brink, clink, chink, tink, shrink, dink, stink, fink, kink, mink, rink, pink, sink, wink, hink, and ink, but what is this "think"???? Is it something I should do?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 09:48 AM

Some roses have more pricks than others, and if life is just a bowl of cherries why do I get all the pits, what's more by the time the finger bowl gets to me there are none left.
We are snot amused a Vicky once said.
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 09:42 AM

I didn't say that particular notion was new.

But what answers to the question "What do you think about?" might you have?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 08:44 AM

But life IS a bed of roses! Rooted in manure and covered with thorns!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 08:22 AM

Don't have any snot stew, but here's some Turd Snot Pie!

I haven't given it an intelligence test. What would the questions be?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 08:20 AM

arrrgggggggkkkkk!

Now there's an image I didn't need - MOAB as the subject of Flaming Ted's dreams. *shudder*

Life's snot a bed of roses - or it would smell better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 06 - 01:57 AM

Only in Ted's dreams, man...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 10:51 PM

By the way, nobody mentioned that Mom got post #11400.

Way to go Mom!

Maybe Little Hawk's right and Mom is a fraud. Maybe she's really Flamingo Ted?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 09:28 PM

If it's not stew, what is it??? Chowder? Broth?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 09:22 PM

It is perfectly possible that snot stew is equally or more intelligent than MOABS than?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 09:14 PM

Okay. I put a tampon up each nostril.

Amos, the concept of intelligent planets is hardly new -- Fred Hoyle wrote an SF novel about one; can't remember the name of it right off. Nor is the concept of intelligences we can't comprehend: all you have to do is read EE Smith's "Lensman" series.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 09:04 PM

Snot isn't funny. So just stop it, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 08:29 PM

Basically, Amos, you're talking about a bunch of intelligent idiots who band together to create a group-consciousness which transcends the sum of their individual consciousnesses.

Sounds like MOAB to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 07:52 PM

Snot all that hard, I guess. Anyway SRS, you haven't been paying attention! I have never posted about an obscure intergalactic atomic body. I have enough trouble keeping track of all the obvious, ground-hugging Terran-defined, macro-scale bodies around here!!

I did hear the most interesting diatribe today about intelligence today, in a taped lecture I was playing in my car, which I believe was called Matter and Consciousness by Paul Churchland. Anyway, he's going on about intelligence and whether it exists on other planets and so on, and he makes an interesting observations.

1. It is perfectly possible to be highly intelligent and have no capability to grasp numbers, math or arithmetic whatsoever.

2. It is perfectly possible to be highly intelligent and have no capability for language.

Both these conditions occasionally occur in humans.

So on the subject of possible patterns of alien intelligence, we should be prepared, should the day ever come, that it is possible to encounter a high intelligence from some other species which not only does not "do" math, or language, but has no idea such things exist.

This, he goes on, opens the door to another interesting question, namely that their may be modes of intelligence which we don't know exist, for which we do not have the capability, and which have all kinds of endless horizons in them just as mathematics and language seem to have.

How about THEM apples, huh? I mean, suppose you were an organism in a distant system, just for larks, who had evolved to be the united cellular awareness of the whole planet -- just one entity, a whole planet. No reason why not -- just because our organism is multi-iterative doesn't mean theirs has to be.

And imagine you used some of these areas of intelligence for which Terrans have no capabilities. To a Terran, the lights by which you measure your whole intellectual existence are not lights at all, not even a working channel, not even the little lit-up number that NAMES a channel of perception.

What do you think about?




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 07:10 PM

Stay on the snot subject for a while longer, if you would. I've been real busy at work and haven't had time to visit Mom much (Sorry, Mom!). If the subject changes too much (or Amos posts another treatise on some obscure intergalactic atomic body) I might lose the train of thought.

I'll push to make sure this stuff is off my desk tomorrow morning.

Meanwhile, if you have a strong stomach, here goes nothin'.

Pardon me while I go get a tissue. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 07:05 PM

Bee-Dubya, your last post has redeemed you!

I now know how to stabilize Florida and other swamps!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 05:41 PM

And after Mom said she actually likes Chongo, Little Hawk goes and calls her a fraud! Be careful, Little Hawk, you're on slippery ground!

Of course, that ground may be slippery because all the snot from a few posts back hasn't dried yet. After it dries, you'll be on extra-crunchy ground instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 04:26 PM

That must have been the guy who fell in the cess pit, and although he couldn't swim he went through the motions.
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 03:49 PM

It brings tears to my eyes. I only wish that I could have started at the top and worked my way down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 03:32 PM

LH has only the skimpiest of standing to cast aspersions and make claims to senior knowledge about the nature of our Mother hereabouts.

But don't worry.

Be happy!

Here's a song that Ralph Kramden's buddy Norton used to sing. I think he wrote it, too:

Song of the Sewer from The Honeymooners



Chorus:
We sing the song of the sewer
Of the sewer we sing this song.
Together we stand
With shovels in hand
To keep things floating along.

I work in the sewer,
It's a pretty hard job.
You know they don't hire
Just any old slob.
You don't have to wear
A tie or a coat.
You just gotta know
How to float.

I work in the sewer
With a guy named Bruce.
We're in charge
Of all the refuse.
I go down first
While he holds the lid.
Gee, I'm telling you
What a sweet kid.

A fuuny thing happened
To Bruce yesterday.
The tide came up
He got carried away.
He ended up in Jersey.
But that's O.K. now.
Cause that's where
He lives anyhow.

My father he worked
In the sewer Uptown.
I followed his footsteps
And worked my way down.
That's how I got started
In this here industry.
I just sort of fell into it.
Sheesh, lucky me.




Kinda makes your day, don''t it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 03:13 PM

LH is jealous because he has come so late unto the bosom of Truth, Justice, and the Canadian-American Way. But MOM will forgive him because she is, well, she's...MOM!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:54 PM

WHAT!!!!!

You mean we're all Orphans?

*sob*


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:51 PM

You're a fraud. This thread HAS no mother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MOAB
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:47 PM

Now, now, Rapaire! Don't be so hard on Bee-dubya. Let him have all the fuck-all he wants. Remember, dear, that if Bee-dubya has all the fuck-all and you don't have any fuck-all at all, you both still have the very same thing.

Love,

Mom


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:42 PM

The War on Suspicion has its eye on you, Amos. Every word you utter is being taken down and may be used against you in a kangaroo court of law. Yessir.

We were doing that with Shambles too, but it overloaded the mainframe after awhile.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 02:38 PM

What? That song was done by The West Floribama Squatters? They is my favorite band! Me an' Bert Hoomid went t' different schools t'gether 'bout ten years apart!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 06 - 08:56 AM

So. The truth comes out. Bee-Dubya-Ell, whom we took and embraced to our collective bosom...Bee-Dubya-Ell, who we brought up and whose feet we placed on the Path of Righteousness...Bee-Dubya-Ell, in whom we placed our hopes and anticipations...Bee-Dubya-Ell, who we lingered to caress while we breathed our evening prayer...Bee-Dubya-Ell, who had joy in his pale blue eyes...

At our fireside, sad and lonely
Often will the bosom swell
At rememberance of the story,
How our noble Bee-Dub fell;
How he strove to bear our banner
Through the thickest of the fight,
And uphold Dear Moab's honor,
In the strength of manhood's night.


Fallen...and now a rich, crass, callow, grasping, over-reaching, avaricious, devouring, niggardly, gluttonous, self-indulgent, edacious, esurient, pennypinching, covetous, plutocrat grinding the poor and depraved beneath the iron heel of his monopolistic Neo-con excesses!

Oh, weep, Mother! For Bee-Dubya-Ell is cornering the world's supply of wonts, ilks, fuck-alls, and such! Oh weep, dear MOAB, for your son had turned away from the Good Book and to Adam Smith's Wealth of Nations!

But that's okay, 'cause Amos and Stilly and Bunn and Giok and me are here to comfort you, to gently press your aged hand and tell you, "It's okay."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 10:58 PM

Oh, AH got plenty of fuck-all
And fuck-all's plennty fer me
I got my land, I got my trees
I got my pottereeeee,
Oh, I got plenty of fuck-all
And fuck-all's plenty fer me.

Now, folks wid plenty of somp'n
Dey like to tell you what's what
Dey think they pretty much sompn,
But they ain't really squat
But I got all this fuck-all
And fuck-all's
Plenteeeeee fer meeeeeeeeee!


"The BeeDub Song"
as performed by Flatt, Dull, Hoomid and Mercantile
performing as The West Floribama Squatters
Pensacola Performing Arts Center, May 26, 2001


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 10:02 PM

On the advice of my financial advisor, I have traded all my squat for an equal amount of fuck-all. He says it's a good move since most of the fuck-all is currently in the UK, but increased globalization will probably result in an increased demand for it in the US.

Meanwhile, if you don't have fuck-all just send me a PM. I've got plenty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 09:02 PM

He's probably not as hard De Lay as that Enron guy.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 07:42 PM

THAT'S where all my wonts went! I'm gonna go down to whereever it is Bee-Dubya does what he calls "living" and kick his hiatus up 'tween his shoulder blades!

And he yells to Mom about not having any wonts and all he has is squat...what's he tryin' to do, corner the market on wont, squat and ilk? Well, we'll see if he's still laughing at the plight of the wontless, the sorry of the squatless, and the injury of the ilkless when he gets a subpoena to explain hisself to the Sherman Anti-Trust Act people! When he has to play with people like pimps and politicians I'll betcha he won't feel so high-and-mighty! Who does he think he is, Tom De Lay? That Enron guy?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 10:17 AM

BeeDub is having us on, Tweed; he lives in the very lap of luxury now, hair or no, in a sprawling estate lined with old oaks in a tropical climate. He ACTUALLY has a whole chest of 'wonts' in his bedroom, more than any one person would need in three lifetimes. An' he takes a lot of trips and has been on hiatus more times than the average dentist.

Don't be fooled.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 09:36 AM

Bee-Dubz you is suckin' that hind tit alot obver here by the looks of it, and I habv perusified this playing ground scorpulently. Momma won't gibv you diddly squat nor wonts for nothin'.

I know thar ain't much left up on the roof now, but in earlier days was you a redhared stepchile ore somethingg? I waz myself. A redhared stepchild twice included, as they found me floating in a wood CoCola crate on the White River and both sides declamed no knowledge obv my origens.

Howsomever, I did get everthing a child could aks fore and had diddlysquats and wonts aplenty to worry on. I allus felt sartain that redhared steppeeple was gifted due to thar read har. Mine turned to some other color that warn't red anymore and that's when all the trubble3 began. The diddleys disapated and the squats is all but lef for gude!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 04:31 AM

Do dwarves have lowatus's? Or are they just short and squat, maybe they can't be squat because Bee-Dubya-Ell has all the squat.
How can I go behind a bush for a crap if he has all the squats?
Could be nasty if I get the squits.
Giok [The Oatmeal King]


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 12:22 AM

Just so he doesn't have hiatus. A good antacid will help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 06 - 12:14 AM

Besides, BeeDub, you have BEEN on hiatus -- you just didn't notice it at the time.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MOAB
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 11:24 PM

Bee-dubya, you brainless half-wit! Don't you know that "on hiatus" is a euphymism? It's not a real place. It's what poor lost souls like Tweed call places like homeless shelters, VD clinics, mental hospitals, detox centers and jails! Read between the lines, boy! The only place Tweed's likely to be where they have cable TV is in rehab!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 11:11 PM

I saw a special presentation on the Garden Channel while on hiatus at a place that had cable TV earlier this month. (Tweed)

Mom! Tweed got to go to Hiatus! Why didn't I get to go? CarolC gets an ilk and Rapaire gets a wont and Tweed gets to go to Hiatus and I get diddle-dee-shit! Do you know what having diddle-dee-shit is like? It's a lot like having squat!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 11:02 PM

That really sucks, man. You keep it up someone'll slug you. I think you are deficient in irony.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 10:44 PM

I shall not attempt to leech humor from this subject, to suck it dry (so to speak). To do so would be bloody impolite. Nor will I make any vampire puns, like "he was always stickin' his friends for drinks, and even a stake dinner was in vein."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Feb 06 - 10:35 PM

Keep mah leeches in an old fruit jar, honey
Keep mah leeches in a fruit jar, now, babe;
Keep mah leeches in an ole fruit jar,
I always know jes' where they are,
Oh, honey, oh baby, of mine.


A


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