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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 11 Jul 05 - 04:21 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Jul 05 - 04:20 PM
Acme 11 Jul 05 - 04:12 PM
Acme 11 Jul 05 - 04:09 PM
Acme 11 Jul 05 - 04:07 PM
Acme 11 Jul 05 - 04:02 PM
Rapparee 11 Jul 05 - 02:05 PM
GUEST,MMario 11 Jul 05 - 12:03 PM
Amos 11 Jul 05 - 11:57 AM
Rapparee 11 Jul 05 - 11:39 AM
Amos 11 Jul 05 - 11:21 AM
GUEST,MMario 11 Jul 05 - 11:11 AM
Acme 11 Jul 05 - 10:10 AM
Rapparee 10 Jul 05 - 11:26 PM
Amos 10 Jul 05 - 11:12 PM
Acme 10 Jul 05 - 08:20 PM
Amos 10 Jul 05 - 05:45 PM
Acme 10 Jul 05 - 02:24 AM
Rapparee 09 Jul 05 - 06:42 PM
Amos 09 Jul 05 - 03:24 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 05 - 03:17 PM
Acme 09 Jul 05 - 02:06 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 05 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 05 - 12:40 PM
Acme 09 Jul 05 - 11:11 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 05 - 11:02 PM
Amos 08 Jul 05 - 09:29 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 08 Jul 05 - 09:02 PM
Amos 08 Jul 05 - 07:41 PM
Amos 08 Jul 05 - 07:29 PM
Acme 08 Jul 05 - 06:22 PM
Acme 08 Jul 05 - 04:44 PM
GUEST,MMario 08 Jul 05 - 03:03 PM
Acme 08 Jul 05 - 02:52 PM
GUEST,The Great Cosmic Enlightenment 08 Jul 05 - 01:31 PM
Amos 08 Jul 05 - 01:07 PM
GUEST,MMario 08 Jul 05 - 11:42 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 05 - 10:59 AM
Acme 08 Jul 05 - 10:00 AM
GUEST,MMario 08 Jul 05 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 05 - 09:03 AM
Amos 08 Jul 05 - 02:19 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 05 - 11:59 PM
GUEST,Gluon 07 Jul 05 - 10:12 PM
Amos 07 Jul 05 - 08:01 PM
Acme 07 Jul 05 - 05:54 PM
Rapparee 07 Jul 05 - 04:52 PM
Acme 07 Jul 05 - 03:12 PM
GUEST 07 Jul 05 - 02:02 PM
Rapparee 07 Jul 05 - 01:17 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:21 PM

All that to legitimatedly snag 8400. In case you didn't get enough saccharine in your diet today, here's a little more from Peerless Maggie:

Such a weight of mortal woe.
Of the coffined form I need not tell,
Of the dark and death-draped bier,
Of the doleful dirge of the funeral knell,
Of the grave where sleeps young Harry Bell,
Or of weeping Maggie Peer.
But the burial scene was wild with grief,
And the gathering crowd was vast;
And sympathy proffered a vain relief,
As a pale young maiden, the mourner chief,
Swooned over the dead like an autumn leaf
Just shaken in winter's blast.

It does not end well.

Willam McGonagle was Molly Erwin's contemporary.

The stuff you learn around here . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:20 PM

participatory self-googling? Whatever went on here over the weekend! I'm shocked to the core of my New England Upbringing!


Thanks to SRTS for taking the horribly unlucky 8400th post!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:12 PM

Lot's more of this back at the page where I found it (written sometime before 1890):

MAGGIE PEER.
A TRUE TALE OF THE WAR.

The Bird of Peace has spread her wings
Again in our glorious sky;
But plaintive and sad is the song she sings,
So sad that many a sigh it brings,
And tears to many an eye.
She has gained the prize, but at fearful cost,
For she misses the true and the brave;
She mourns for the loved forever lost?
For the war-worn feet that forever crossed
The portal of the grave.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:09 PM

Another use of "Maggie," a disgrunted non-fan of Mrs. Thatcher:

link

Ode To Maggie

Dear Maggie, don't take this to heart,
But I think you're an ugly old tart,
And I just want to say,
In a not unkind way,
That I never liked you from the start.

Dear Maggie, can I just point out,
I believe that there's really no doubt,
You're a bit of a slapper,
And never seem happier,
Than when flashing your cleavage about.

Dear Maggie, you're meant to be smart,
You were an Intelligence Officer at the start,
But with each passing day,
You are losing your way,
Now you're naught but a cheap little tart.

(for the rest, follow the link)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:07 PM

10

maggie and milly and molly and may
by e. e. cummings

maggie and milly and molly and may
went down to the beach(to play one day)

and maggie discovered a shell that sang
so sweetly she couldn't remember her troubles,and

milly befriended a stranded star
whose rays five languid fingers were;

and molly was chased by a horrible thing
which raced sideways while blowing bubbles:and

may came home with a smooth round stone
as small as a world and as large as alone.

For whatever we lose(like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 04:02 PM

If you've participated in that thread about Googling yourself then you know that there are other ways entirely that you can lump and sort yourself when searching for relatives or references. Amazing what that system can find (and why did so many other people give their children MY name?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 02:05 PM

That was "Schloss" and "Schlossschluss", not whatever came out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 12:03 PM

ah, but Amos, you expect me to use LOGIC! Aside from the fact that logic and I are not on speaking terms, I beleive the family brain cell has been loaned out to a young autistic child for training (of the brain cell) - not to mention I am suffering time lag from two days in the 16th century.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 11:57 AM

MM, as far as I know most civilizations of the Western Hemisphere use patronymic tags for defiing elationships, not given names. If you had to trace your family tree through everyone named "M", or perhaps Leo, just think how complicated your reunions would become!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 11:39 AM

1815, actually, Amos. Either August 1 or December 18; he was born exactly at the stroke of midnight to Wilhelm Keats and Maria Montoya Smythe-Gerstenbacher, Hereditary Electoress of Baden-Baden-Baden and first cousin to Prince Fred of Wien-Am-Rhein. His father, Wilhelm, Sr. (or "Big Billy" as he came to be known) was a Schweinlandwirt-in-training at the Smythe-Gerstenbacher castle (or, as they say in German, SchloĆ?), SchloĆ?schluĆ?, and a very, very, precocious lad indeed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 11:21 AM

An interesting parallel construct, Doctor Rapaire; I had been assured it was Stuttgart, but Wien may be a more frank assessment. Your time line is perhaps more interesting, given that you have named the lady and the approximate date; however, my informant knew about the Viking hat.

I believe W Jr was born in 1817 or 1818, but the records are ambiguous; the original documents relating to his birth were destroyed during the retreat of 1919, mistakenly mixed in with a lot of confidential government papers being rapidly destroyed to prevent their falling into the hands of the advancing American troops.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 11:11 AM

so who's this "Amos Ori" - any relation?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jul 05 - 10:10 AM

Mom! Mom! Can you hear me mom? You nearly passed out! Here, take my hand, let me help you to the seat over here at the top! What were those boys thinking, not coming back to check on you instead of reading that silly poetry? Keats, Yeats, they all sound alike. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 11:26 PM

John Keats died without legitimate progeny. During his tour through the Germanies in 1800, however, he met a buxom young lady named Gretchen in a Bierstubbe in Wien-am-Rhine. One night, after boozing with "Boozy" Hawkes and other disreputables, they swapped: he gave her a tax deduction and she gave him a social disease. Wilhelm Keats was born some months after John left, and Wilhelm, jr. was born some years after that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 11:12 PM

The sad result of a bleary-eyed biergarten run-in with a rather large blonde woman in Stuttgart, who wore a Viking hat. And little else. Keats was enough sheets to the wind that he believed he was fulfilling a Wagnerian Valkyrie archetype that night, but all that came of it became Wilhelm.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 08:20 PM

Wilhelm, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 05:45 PM

Thou still but half-baked bride of quietness,        
Thou foster-child of Wheel and of the Eye,        
Rounded container , who canst thus express        
A turning tale more sweetly than our lie:        
What mottled glaze doth linger on thy shape                 5
Burned in the kiln of art that dieth not,         
    In temper fair, wedged from the bosky clay        
What men or gods your slipping line has wrought?        
What mad pursuit? What struggle to be free?        
    What genius unemployed? What wheel of ecstasy?

Ode On Accretion Earned
Wilhelm Keats, Junior
"Poems My Father Rejected"
Strasbourg, 1837


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 05 - 02:24 AM

I'm going to write a poem about this unusual growing collection of ceramic potter puns and call it

Odd, to accretian turn


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 06:42 PM

Wheel, I'll just rakku this up to experience, mostly because I'm afraid I'd start to slip into really bad puns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 03:24 PM

A hard finish -- up until now only your feet were clay!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 03:17 PM

I'd just be another crackpot, I'm afraid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 02:06 PM

If you ever get hired as the punster for a ceramics group you'll urn your keep.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 12:41 PM

He was all tuckered grout, wedged between a rock and a hard case.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 12:40 PM

Folks who make ceramics just kiln me! They slip into pot, their eyes glaze, and pretty soon you cone tell what they'll do. I saw one wheel around and around, thinking it was a coil thing to do. The next day he felt like shard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 05 - 11:11 AM

That pot sounds like a major distraction in the middle of a lot of stuff you need to be doing. Let us know how it turns out, once you're back home and the power and phone are up again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 11:02 PM

Kill 'em all and let God sort 'em out.

Why not make a smoky fire below the pot and let the smoke stupefy the bees? Then you can take down the pot, empty the bees out, and they usually revive later to go on their merry way.

Come on, admit it -- you really want to smoke a little Mexican pot now, doncha?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 09:29 PM

F**k 'em, BWL ... it's only a hobby!!!

And if you don't know that old shaggy dog story, tell me and I'll write out every excruciating turn of it for you here!! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 09:02 PM

Speaking of "to bee, or not to bee", I have a moral quandary. I have a terra cotta birdhouse hanging in a tree. It's not a great piece of art or anything but it is handmade and sorta cute. It's not something I or anyone I know made, just some Mexican thing.

Anyway, my quandary is that bumble bees have taken it over and built a hive in it. That's not a problem in itself because I like bees. The problem is that if I leave it up it will surely be broken when Hurricane Dennis gets here in about 48 hours. But since it's full of bumble bees, I don't think I could take it down without inviting being stung. So, do I zap the bees with wasp and hornet spray and save my birdhouse, or do I leave it up and let it and the bees take their chances with 100+ mph winds? I'm leaning toward thinking that the bees are probably doomed anyway, so why should my pot die along with them? And anyway, if I save the pot more bees can use it for a hive later. Oops! I think I just talked myself into becoming a murderer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 07:41 PM

&DAnd just in case you think I make this stuff up, here are a few more scientific tidbits:

  • Research on Deep-Sea Sponge Yields Substantial Mechanical Engineering Insights
  • Philippines confirms first case of bird flu
  • Electricity in a thermos
  • Berkeley Lab Wins Three R 100 Awards: Neural Matrix CCD, Optical Sound Restoration System, Ion Mobility Analysis
  • Deep-sea jelly uses glowing red lures to catch fish
  • Scientists dispel the mystery surrounding Stradivarius violins
  • Study: Fertile women want dominant men



  • A


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Amos
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 07:29 PM

    In other news:

    July 08, 2005
          
    A physicist at the Israel Institute of Technology in Haifa has proposed a new class of time machines that seems to avoid some of the difficulties inherent in other theoretical time machines.

    Like many time machine models, the new proposal requires gravitational fields that curve spacetime in ways that allow observers to travel to their own past. However, unlike previous proposals that have typically required exotic and improbable forms of matter, the new time machine core would consist of a toroidal vacuum embedded in sphere of normal matter.

    Important questions remain, but at the very least the material required to make the machine exists in our universe.

    Publication:

    Amos Ori
    Phys. Rev. Lett. 95, 021101 (2005)
    http://link.aps.org/abstract/PRL/v95/e021101

    Abstract

    Class of Time-Machine Solutions with a Compact Vacuum Core

    We present a class of curved-spacetime vacuum solutions which develop closed timelike curves at some particular moment. We then use these vacuum solutions to construct a time-machine model. The causality violation occurs inside an empty torus, which constitutes the time-machine core. The matter field surrounding this empty torus satisfies the weak, dominant, and strong energy conditions. The model is regular, asymptotically flat, and topologically trivial. Stability remains the main open question.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Acme
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 06:22 PM

    Said 13-year-old found most of it. MMario, when you get here via the Tavern, be sure you land in the front yard--there are still a couple of local spots out back I'll have to scoop later. They'd have the more typical smell once mashed up into whatever tread is on your shoe. You know the kind I mean--if even just a few molecules of it remain after you've scraped your shoe, the smell is JUST AS STRONG as if the whole pile were stuck to your shoe. The stuff from mortal dogs is pretty powerful. Who knows what kind of universe-bending power the Gluon-strength stuff off-gases. :)


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Acme
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 04:44 PM

    The "local" who usually handles such things here is my 13-year-old son. Which reminds me, time to get him off of the computer and out to go police the grounds before his dad gets here to pick the kids up for the weekend. . .


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: GUEST,MMario
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 03:03 PM

    Just who are you accusing of SWISHING?*

    Lemmee see if I can choose the right door over at the tavern - otherwise you might have to wait for a local.

    How 'bout we buy gluon some of them doggie diapers?







    not that there is anything wrong with swishing.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Acme
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 02:52 PM

    Yeah, fine. Swell. But what about the pile on my front yard? Which one of you Rocket Scientists™ is going to swish and vibrate on over and pick it up?


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: GUEST,The Great Cosmic Enlightenment
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 01:31 PM

    grasshopper -

    you now know one of the GREAT TRUTHS.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Amos
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 01:07 PM

    Wow!! So when you come to one of those Great Karmic Forks in the road, and want to make up for past sins by helping the universe out somehow, the question becoes to Bee or not to Bee?

    A


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: GUEST,MMario
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 11:42 AM

    Rapaire - that is what WORMS are for. In fact - "worm" is an acronym (something most people don't realize

    Worldwide
    Optimized
    Restoration (of)
    Mass
    System

    They recycle the non moving into the ecosystem so that it can become MOVING - thus restoring the mass balance.

    And BEEs. another acronym

    Balance
    Energy
    Elevators

    Why do you think they do that vibrating shaky dance on the combs of the hive? Sure, it's been theorized that it is communication of where to find nectar and pollen, but in truth its to rebalence the mass energy systems of the universe - likewise when they stand at the entrance of the hive and vibrate their wings. It's not to cool the hive, it's another facet of energy/mass balance.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Rapparee
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 10:59 AM

    Okay, so when you move you add to the mass of the Universe. I'm cool with that. And that means that when you die, you stop adding mass to the Universe because you're not moving any more (althought I've heard about people spinning in their graves, which would not only add to the mass of the Universe but create a problem with graves filling up with yarn, not to mention the question of where the wool and stuff comes from -- possibly Dark Matter). But anyway, there are lots more dead people than live people, so that means that the Universe has been losing mass for a very long time. And that brings up the question...

    are we disappearing bit by the bit? And if so, how can we know?


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Acme
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 10:00 AM

    I don't think anyone does. I found some out on the front lawn near the curb yesterday. Not only that, but someone's child found it. . . ewww. . .


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: GUEST,MMario
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 09:35 AM

    nearly all the mass of protons and neutrons is from the kinetic energy of their constituent quarks and gluons

    certainly explains why Gluopn hardly ever stops moving; He's just contributing his share of mass to the universe. What I want to know is who follows him around with the scoop to get that mass where it belongs and not underfoot where someone is gonna step in it?


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Rapparee
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 09:03 AM

    Amos, I've tried and tried to keep Gluon out of the protons and neutrons, but that animal just will not learn! I've even smacked it with a rolled-up newspaper! You give it a try; maybe Gluon will listen to you.

    There are some very nice pictures of the Standard Model here and here.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Amos
    Date: 08 Jul 05 - 02:19 AM

    n example of energy contributing to mass occurs in the most familiar kind of matter in the universe--the protons and neutrons that make up atomic nuclei in stars, planets, people and all that we see. These particles amount to 4 to 5 percent of the mass-energy of the universe. The Standard Model tells us that protons and neutrons are composed of elementary particles called quarks that are bound together by massless particles called gluons. Although the constituents are whirling around inside each proton, from outside we see a proton as a coherent object with an intrinsic mass, which is given by adding up the masses and energies of its constituents.

    The Standard Model lets us calculate that nearly all the mass of protons and neutrons is from the kinetic energy of their constituent quarks and gluons (the remainder is from the quarks' rest mass). Thus, about 4 to 5 percent of the entire universe--almost all the familiar matter around us--comes from the energy of motion of quarks and gluons in protons and neutrons.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Rapparee
    Date: 07 Jul 05 - 11:59 PM

    Oh, okay, Gluon. I thought the place started as a cool, diffuse snowball about 3 p.m. (Mountain Daylight Time) the day before yesterday. My theory was self-consistent, too.

    Dang, another on shot down by reality.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: GUEST,Gluon
    Date: 07 Jul 05 - 10:12 PM

    QUARK!!! QUARK!!!

    (Translation: The Big Bang theory is a bunch of hooey. It was more like the Big Overflow. Someone left a "faucet" on over on the 19th Dimension. It wasn't really a faucet because it didn't have water coming out of it, but "faucet" is as close to the idea as you humans have a word for. Anyway, the "sink" overflowed and a bunch of the stuff dripped into your Universe which, prior to the drippage, had been a total and absolute vacuum. It was all an accident. Really. The 19th Dimensioners have apologized profusely to the Cosmic Overlord and they have been punished by being banished into this three-dimensions-plus-time Universe where they are known as "Freds".)


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Amos
    Date: 07 Jul 05 - 08:01 PM

    Universe in crisis as experts question Big Bang model

    July 07, 2005
          
    The widely accepted idea that the universe began with a Big Bang could be wrong, according to astrophysicists who took part in a "Crisis in cosmology" meeting in Portugal and reported in this month's Physics World magazine.

    According to the standard Big Bang theory, the universe began in a hot dense fireball about 13 billion years ago and has been expanding ever since. But despite plenty of evidence to support the theory, not everyone is convinced.

    Eric Lerner of Lawrenceville Plasma Physics, who organized the Portuguese meeting, says that certain properties of the cosmic microwave background - the so-called "echo of the Big Bang" - do not match predictions from the theory.

    Others are unhappy that cosmologists have had to introduce weird concepts like dark matter and dark energy to explain the universe. Mainstream scientists, however, have hit back, saying that we just need to tweak the Big Bang model and tie up "loose ends". ...


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Acme
    Date: 07 Jul 05 - 05:54 PM

    I thought you found one of these.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Rapparee
    Date: 07 Jul 05 - 04:52 PM

    I didn't mean to. It was an accident. And nobody saw me do it anyway, and I got an alibi. Besides, it's all Gluon's fault. I am not a crook; my wife wears a good Republican cloth coat, and the only gift I took was this cute little spotted puppy, seen here playing, and I'm not going to give it back.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Acme
    Date: 07 Jul 05 - 03:12 PM

    Well, look at what happened when a sun-warmed body from Idaho was thrust into an Antarctic glacier. You made a hole in it!


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: GUEST
    Date: 07 Jul 05 - 02:02 PM

    truth be told, Amos has a dumbo fetish and it's your ears he lusts after.


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    Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
    From: Rapparee
    Date: 07 Jul 05 - 01:17 PM

    Amos, you are just jealous of my youthful good looks and my innocent boyish grin.


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