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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 30 Apr 05 - 10:41 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 05 - 09:52 PM
Amos 30 Apr 05 - 07:50 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 30 Apr 05 - 07:22 PM
Amos 30 Apr 05 - 03:28 PM
Rapparee 30 Apr 05 - 01:45 PM
GUEST 30 Apr 05 - 12:25 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 30 Apr 05 - 10:57 AM
GUEST,Rapairus Ora Cloaca 30 Apr 05 - 10:29 AM
Amos 30 Apr 05 - 09:41 AM
GUEST,Bee-dubya_ell 30 Apr 05 - 07:41 AM
Acme 30 Apr 05 - 01:59 AM
Rustic Rebel 30 Apr 05 - 01:49 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 05 - 10:39 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 29 Apr 05 - 09:55 PM
Bunnahabhain 29 Apr 05 - 08:07 PM
Bunnahabhain 29 Apr 05 - 08:05 PM
Amos 29 Apr 05 - 07:45 PM
Bunnahabhain 29 Apr 05 - 07:30 PM
Rapparee 29 Apr 05 - 07:20 PM
GUEST,MMario 29 Apr 05 - 01:37 PM
Acme 29 Apr 05 - 10:27 AM
Amos 29 Apr 05 - 09:03 AM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 29 Apr 05 - 08:34 AM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 29 Apr 05 - 08:32 AM
Rapparee 29 Apr 05 - 08:12 AM
Amos 29 Apr 05 - 12:01 AM
Acme 28 Apr 05 - 11:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Apr 05 - 11:51 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 28 Apr 05 - 11:42 PM
Acme 28 Apr 05 - 11:28 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 28 Apr 05 - 11:23 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 05 - 07:02 PM
Rustic Rebel 28 Apr 05 - 06:44 PM
Amos 28 Apr 05 - 06:18 PM
GUEST,kibby F5 28 Apr 05 - 06:07 PM
GUEST,kibby F5 28 Apr 05 - 05:57 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 05 - 04:48 PM
Acme 28 Apr 05 - 03:51 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 05 - 02:18 PM
GUEST,MMario 28 Apr 05 - 12:33 PM
Rapparee 28 Apr 05 - 12:20 PM
GUEST,MMario 28 Apr 05 - 11:14 AM
Acme 28 Apr 05 - 10:49 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 28 Apr 05 - 08:52 AM
GUEST,Amos 28 Apr 05 - 01:17 AM
Rustic Rebel 28 Apr 05 - 12:05 AM
Acme 27 Apr 05 - 11:27 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 27 Apr 05 - 11:20 PM
Amos 27 Apr 05 - 10:57 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 10:41 PM

Why


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 09:52 PM

I combined my biggest eye opener AND my biggest sphincter opener the time I passed an eighteen wheeler.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 07:50 PM

1. It will attract flies.
2. It will provide MG a justification for talking as he does.
3. I t will offend one of the Mudcat people, I think probably "liddul_mittens_hymn_sing" from Keokuk.
4. I t will burn up time you could spend thinking of something really clever to say in rebuttal of these reasons.
5. It will inspire Spaw to compete with your for fecal vividness in language.

There ya go, BeeDub!! Read 'em up!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 07:22 PM

HELP!!!

I have an overpowering desire to start a "companion" thread to My Biggest Eye Opener called "My Biggest Sphincter Opener". I don't know if I can stop myself. You guys need to talk me down from it.

I need five good reasons not to do it by 12PM (MCT) 05/01/05 or I simply won't be held responsible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 03:28 PM

Operor sententia prodeo , sententia ignavus levo
In rapio ex mens illorum
Quisnam audacter sto quod dedi , nequam amoveo
Quis thy penuriosus dementis mens nunquam speciosus.
Subsisto in vestri latrocinores mores
Verto circum quod perceptum iterum
In vestri pedes suus subsisto quod subsisto
Quod audaciter ingredior mores hominum.

Vel suspendo vestri caput capitis in silentium stilus ,
Verecundor exhibeo vestri deficio phasmatis
Sive adficio bonus ex suum eo
Mos non gero , neque nec votum audire is!

Cicerinio Omnibus dee' Algorithus
Pensimus Maximus de Causas Essens
Tran. Donald Wishwell, 1947


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 01:45 PM

Jist thought I'd give the joint a touch o' class, ya know?

Ya din't get "piscus caenosus", did ya?

Gotta go break some broncs now. Have a cuppa coffee, relax, read a little Virgil. Jist wash the dishes afore ya pull freight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 12:25 PM

Merdatauri??? MERDATAURI!!!????

You think you can cloak that kind of BS by pretending to say it in Latin? I'm gonna sic my sis on you!!

ROTFLMAO!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 10:57 AM

Today is "Be Kind to Freds Day"! I so declare it!

Insofar as Freds have been an integral part of the MOAB for almost two years and, insofar as Freds have received absolutely no formal recognition of their contribution to the lunacy, we do hereby designate this day in their honor!

However, lest anyone get overly excited, please note that it is merely "Be Kind to Freds Day". It is not "Freds Are Really Great Guys Day" or "Exchange Bodily Fluids With Freds Day" or even "Take Freds to Lunch Day". There's no need to get all het up about it. If you happen to see Freds, just don't squash him/her/it/them or anything. And, yes, this even goes for Chuckles.

Presumably, you may resume squashing Freds tomorrow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapairus Ora Cloaca
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 10:29 AM

Merdatauri virumque cano, Piscus caenosi qui primus ab oris
Internetus, fato profugus, Amos venit
litora, multum ille et terris iactatus et alto
vi superum saevae memorem Iunonis ob iram;
multa quoque et bello passus, dum conderet urbem,               
inferretque deos merda, genus unde ingenium
Nostrum patres, atque altae moenia Merdatauri.

Musa, mihi causas memora, quo numine laeso,
quidve dolens, regina deum tot volvere casus
insignem pietate virum, tot adire labores               
impulerit. Tantaene animis caelestibus irae?

I have more, and you have been warned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 09:41 AM

The MOABite ran like a wolf to the fold
And their numbers were drooling and laughing, and old
In the pale purple dawn, at the rise of the hill
They stood in array, and they laughed soft and shrill.
Their horses cavorted, their trumpets were gold
And they sang out "BS"! in the damp and the cold.

Then each one to his stirrups, to each his épée
And they swung to their saddles, and galloped toward day,
With the screams of the dying rattling over the plain
The MOABites struck, struck again, struck again.
That was long long ago, as the elders recall,
Who were there and who saw it, and remember it all.

It was cognitive madness, a mind's paroxysm
Not one gal was sure what was hers, or was his'n.
On that plain stands today just a cold granite marker,
To remember the day when the MOAB went starker
In cool quiet letters, the stone doth profess:
"On this hill, at one time, there was first-class BS."

Merriwether Longjaw Stooling
Songs of the MOAB
Brown and Ridickledockle, New York, 1947


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya_ell
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 07:41 AM

Oh, boy! Are the hedges first-prize in the context? They're cool. They look English. I bet they have hedgehogs in 'em. Is a pair of hedgehogs part of the prize too? I've always wanted hedgehogs. Well, not always 'cause when I was an infant I didn't know what a hedgehog was. Stop me! I'm starting to sound like Verbal Kint!

(And the Google ads for the group that Steve Howe plays guitar with are still here.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 01:59 AM

MOAB Hedgemony: is that like this? (This, of course, is part of the "context" that BWL is asking about!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 30 Apr 05 - 01:49 AM

Dear Bunnahabhain -
You are on to a new concept that will take at least two more minutes for people to get. Or else your concept of the reality of two more minutes was there for getting people.?
It doesn't really matter which way the wind blows, though, but it matters if the wind was blown last Thursday and only if the cumulus clouds where out at precisely 11:32 am. (That would be central standard time)

If it was meant to be a pillow stuffed with a burgandy eggnog, than I would advise drinking it slow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 10:39 PM

I had a good lesson last night. Parry sixte, extend, and then step into it if your extension doesn't quite reach. You touch with the hand pronated, and after touching come back immediately to on guard. You can also, if you are in too close for an extension, drop your weapon hand and come up in a "dig" to surprise and dismay your opponent. A parry in prime can also be turned to your advantage, as can a high septime against a fleche. I am, of course, speaking of epee, where there are no rules of right-of-way. (My personal favorite is to close nearly corps-a-corps, binding the blades, and then strike home with your main gauche. This is frowned upon in competition because it uses up opponents pretty quick, and it can be pretty messy with all the blood. Of course, you keep your main gauche hidden unless you want to use it as a bladebreaker, but that's another technique.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 09:55 PM

Context? Are we having a context? What's the prize? I wanna enter! Do ya hafta buy a ticket, or is it one of those "no purchase necessary" things?

I hope it's not like a quiz show where ya hafta be smart. I'd never win with Amos and Rawpeer and Stilly River Sage in th' same context. They's all real smart an' it takes me, Tweed an' khandu all three combined t'gether jus' to come up with th' IQ of yer average idjit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 08:07 PM

7557 !cimordnelllap


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 08:05 PM

True. Best just treat my last rant as an execise in daft language.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 07:45 PM

I dunno, Bunnahy-boy, iffen these instructions are particularly welcome. See, the MOAB excels at what it does because it is self-organizing, a loose affiliation of self-enabling and reciprocally empowering elite peers, if you see what I mean. As to them silly spin-off threads, well, I have done told them the fueliddity of their ways. So iffen they don't wanna lissen to me, well, I ask you, whose problem is that? Not mine, you know, not mine for certain sho'.

Tell ya what -- YOU go over there and disguise yourself as one of them insipid uninspired spit-dribblers pretending to do BS and see if you can raise the tone a little. THEN you can bring 'em over.

You think we accept just ANY ole energy here? This is a quality outfit, pard. Quality.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 07:30 PM

Why all the parody threads at the minute? The combined creative energy that has gone into these could sustain MOAB for hours! We need to seduce these misguided people into the MOAB Hedgemony with the utmost haste, and convince them to the point of evangalising all and sundry to as the rectitude and veracity of MOAB as the true path.

They shall be taught to shun those pale and paltry Mayflies of threads, and offer praise to MOAB with puns, poetry, physics, prattle, and painfully obvious alitteration. They shall not care for '00s, and shall smite Flamenco Ted mightily in anticipaition of his sins. Context and common sense shall flee before these messengers of the word!

That's what going to happen, now you lot have to make it happen. Get going. Smartly, please.

Bunnahabhain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 07:20 PM

Well, the Truth Is Out There, and MOAB has lots more of it than anyplace else. In fact, the MOAB has not only whole truths, but truths-and-a-half and even more. It's a good place to look for it, it certainly is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 01:37 PM

well - here I am again - ready to plumb the depths of the MOAB in search of enlightenment.

Pitiful, ain't i?

But I have crucial, burning questions that need to be answered - such as:

If Martha *Has* broken her parole - How long will it take to heal? And will she have to wear a cast?


Will LtS ever find the source of her guinea Pig song (or did her Da just make it up?)

Will Liz ever think to start a thread at mudcat re: the above?

Is the Pope an Ivory billed Woodpecker - or will acoustic analysis show him to be nothing but a recording of the 'Nights Templar and the Illuminauts'?


Why does the "predicting your age by chocolate" ask me how often I would like to have chocolate a week - then restrict me to less then 10. that doesn't get me through a day. (breakfast, 2nd breakfast, car snack, brunch, coffee break, elevenses, small lunch, lunch, snack, late snack, tea, late tea, hor d'hourves, dinner, supper,ante-dormir)

Will corridus the Hamster returtn?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 10:27 AM

That's the whole of it for me, too. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 09:03 AM

My page advertises Napster and a café specializing in beignets.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 08:34 AM

Didn't work. Still there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 08:32 AM

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Pay no attention. I'm just trying to beat back the Google ads for that insipid '70s "symphonic rock" group whom I cannot name here for fear of further triggering whatever utility Google uses to site their ads.

Better yet, I shall click on the Google ad about a zillion times so that Google will pay Max lots of money and the "store" will have to pay Google so much money they will go into bankruptcy. That'll get rid of 'em!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 08:12 AM

It's chilly of a morning in these here hills! Clothes? Sure!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Apr 05 - 12:01 AM

Now, Maggie...don't be putting the carton before the horse...

You know you aren't gonna reach closure that way!! :)

Kiss and make up -- sing the Beatles' song:

"Closure eyes
I will kiss you...."

There you go....

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 11:55 PM

You are going to start a real flap over this, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 11:51 PM

Oh! I am such a radical! You folks will simply not believe what I just did!

I dished out some ice cream, and when I was closing the carton back up I noticed that one of the carton flaps had "Close This Flap First" printed on it. So, I closed it second!

Hah! Those ice cream Nazis aren't going to tell me which flap to close when!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 11:42 PM

Actually, 2003 was a really bad year. We had separate killing frosts around March 1st and March 15th. Our bushes are wild so they don't all bloom at once (like the ones in the U-pick farm up the highway), but two hard freezes during blooming season got almost all the blooms. We had maybe 10% of our usual crop.

Maybe I'll bring some of the blackberries that used to be along the roadside before they got mowed down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 11:28 PM

Please do! And if the wine I'm getting from 2003 is any indication of a good crop, some blueberries from that year should be fantastic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 11:23 PM

But the blueberries won't be ripe in time for the MOAB Birthday Tavern!

No, wait! They will be! Nevermind. I forgot that the Tavern and the Space-Time Continuum don't have much truck with each other. Heck, I could bring blueberries from the 2007 crop and the 1999 crop too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 07:02 PM

Doggone, RR, now I'm hungry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 06:44 PM

Reports of dried blueberries being a high source of protein (yum!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 06:18 PM

Who's the newbie, then? An industrial spy from on e of those splinter groups?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,kibby F5
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 06:07 PM

GADS! ThinG! This thing on? And it does html too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,kibby F5
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 05:57 PM

*tink, tink*

Is this think on?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 04:48 PM

Will there be REAL "country" butter, too?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 03:51 PM

Blueberry Muffins

preheat oven to 400o

Mix together:
1 cup white flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup sugar
2 tsp baking powder
1/2 tsp salt

cut in:
1/4 cup shortening

add:
1/2 cup milk (I use soy milk)
1 egg, slightly beaten

Leave a few lumps. When the flour is just barely all mixed in, add 1 cup blueberries, blend carefully, then spoon into greased muffin pan. Bake 20-25 minutes until just brown. Makes 10-12.

Myffins will be available on the Mudcat Tavern bar, in a covered Tupperware container over in the corner out of harms way of flying jello, flapping ducks, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 02:18 PM

There is a "creme de blueberries" liqueur -- I had some WONDERFUL kir in Milau made with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 12:33 PM

oh yeah - but skip the scones or angel food cake unless there is a LOT of juice.

try a touch of Triple Sec with berries too, it goes well...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 12:20 PM

Mix (washed) fresh blueberries, raspberries, and blackberries (or chose any single one, I don't care) and sprinkle with sugar (or Splenda). Toss together so that the berries become slightly bruised and the juices run out. After all the flavors are blended with the sweetner, serve over scones or angel food cake. Top with creme fraiche or whipped cream.

As an option, throw a little Chambord into the berries....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 11:14 AM

rinse blueberries, drain and freeze. Fill a bowl about half full of the frozen blueberries. sprinkle with sugar and pour in cream to barely cover. stir. consume.



sublime.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 10:49 AM

Dip those dried blueberries in a good quality of chocolate and leave them in a bowl on the bar--I guarantee you'll get rid of the extras!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 08:52 AM

1. Golly, RR, I'm jist all aglow with embarassement.

2. I like to sprinkle dried blueberries and other dried fruits on salads. Also some nuts (walnuts, cashews, pecans -- whatever) and crumbled herbed goat cheese. I'm going to try them in a Guinness sauce, too.

3. The location sounds good to me. As long as there's running water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 01:17 AM

Hell, bring 'em tot he Tavern, BeDub...we'll make Blueberry-Kahlua milkshakes for dinner, and blue-berry-pot pancakes for breakfast.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Apr 05 - 12:05 AM

The Rapaire
By Rutic Rebel

I have come in a stately disguise, with trouser pockets full of dried blueberries.
I know of what I speak of mainly, for cause and justice and I fear not a bluish tounge that will whip a frenzy of a mannerish thought into an air of discreet notion and pentance, I will reveal.
My manner is but lofty and distiguished, as I saunter with my pocketful, and maintain a wishful thought that it remain so, as I casually taste of the sweet fruit upon my tounge buds.
Be it so sweet, like an air of flowered desire, for I am not of sour or salt.
My scent of rational thought lingers with an epicurism of fiendish delight, yet I am softened of belly.
Let the law of life revel inside, as I languish in the empathy of blueberry pocket treats, and permeate a breath of inspired blessedness unto the bluish stains of my fingertips.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 11:27 PM

All Amos needs at that place of his are blueberries!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 11:20 PM

You want blueberries? Have I ever mentioned that I have thousands of blueberry bushes, some the size of small trees, on my property? Have I mentioned that the usual early March cold snap that always seems to kill about half of the flowering buds on the blueberry bushes didn't happen this year? Have I mentioned that lots of my blueberry bushes that used to bear poorly because they were in the shade are now in the sunlight due to the trees that were shading them having been blown down? Have I mentioned that, in other words, I'm gonna have a shitload of blueberries this summer?

Now, if we can only have some reasonable temperatures when prime blueberry pickin' time gets here in July...

Yeah, right! Reasonable temperatures in July in Florida! Hah!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Apr 05 - 10:57 PM

On the wide prairies between Laramie and Boulder, where the yellow flowers are firing up in the Spring, and the nodding grasses whisper in the sunset, there's a place where the sloping meadows run down to a broad creek. The creek is known as Little Bear. There's a broad turn to the creek where it is very wide, swing from south-west to south-by-west and forming a pleasant dell in its elbow. In that dell there is a crude plank building, with a wide porch, the lumber all adzed and crudely matched, the chinks stopped with adobe from the wetland. It is large and rambling, with outbuildings, small add-ons, and a wide gravel-and-dirt road that comes over the hill and down to the house and then peters out before it falls in the creek. There are oaks, ash, and a mess of half-breed stuff growing along the banks further down. It is a pleasant place, especially in a soft Spring evening. You can hear the whippoorwills getting their chorus on, and when the moon rises of the hills you can hear a coyote sometimes, looking for sympathy. It's a sturdy warm house, well built if crudely, and it stays warm all winter through.

That's a good place for a Mudcat Tavern. The lights are kerosene, the refrigeration is by cool-box. But there's a big roasting pit and a swimming hole at the creek turn. And ya never know who'll drop in for a pint of moonshine. The bar in particularly is well stocked with stuffs all the way from Denver. Never runs dry.

A


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