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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 03 Dec 03 - 08:54 PM
Tweed 03 Dec 03 - 07:31 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 03 - 07:02 PM
Tweed 03 Dec 03 - 06:37 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 03 - 10:35 PM
Amos 02 Dec 03 - 07:20 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 02 Dec 03 - 07:10 PM
Amos 01 Dec 03 - 06:39 PM
GUEST,CarolC again 01 Dec 03 - 03:09 PM
GUEST,CarolC at the Chattahoochee Valley Reg. Lawb 01 Dec 03 - 03:07 PM
GUEST,MMario 01 Dec 03 - 10:22 AM
Amos 01 Dec 03 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 01 Dec 03 - 08:47 AM
GUEST,Thespian 30 Nov 03 - 09:37 PM
Amos 30 Nov 03 - 09:16 PM
GUEST,Thespian 30 Nov 03 - 08:40 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 03 - 11:55 AM
khandu 27 Nov 03 - 11:21 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Nov 03 - 02:26 AM
fiercefiddler 27 Nov 03 - 02:01 AM
khandu 26 Nov 03 - 11:43 PM
Rustic Rebel 26 Nov 03 - 10:50 PM
Rapparee 26 Nov 03 - 08:01 PM
Amos 25 Nov 03 - 11:31 PM
Rapparee 25 Nov 03 - 11:17 PM
khandu 25 Nov 03 - 10:58 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 Nov 03 - 08:58 PM
Rapparee 24 Nov 03 - 08:52 PM
Rapparee 24 Nov 03 - 08:15 PM
khandu 23 Nov 03 - 09:00 PM
Rapparee 23 Nov 03 - 07:35 PM
khandu 23 Nov 03 - 07:31 PM
GUEST,Bee-dudya on Son's 'Puter 22 Nov 03 - 08:50 PM
Rapparee 22 Nov 03 - 08:22 PM
GUEST,Clareling 21 Nov 03 - 11:02 PM
khandu 21 Nov 03 - 09:03 PM
Amos 21 Nov 03 - 08:17 PM
GUEST,Clareling 21 Nov 03 - 07:24 PM
Rapparee 21 Nov 03 - 07:15 PM
Amos 21 Nov 03 - 06:47 PM
Rapparee 21 Nov 03 - 06:39 PM
khandu 21 Nov 03 - 06:35 PM
Amos 21 Nov 03 - 11:38 AM
Tweed 21 Nov 03 - 11:19 AM
Amos 21 Nov 03 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 21 Nov 03 - 09:06 AM
khandu 21 Nov 03 - 08:51 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Nov 03 - 12:00 AM
Rapparee 20 Nov 03 - 11:10 PM
GUEST,freds 20 Nov 03 - 11:09 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 08:54 PM

MIght as well imagine that Superman was a mild mannered reporter!! Little Hawk a double for the rough-edged gem, Clinton Hammond?? Nay, so not!! For surely, if it were, then all the world is but a cloud of bad humor, and nothing shall hold firm!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:31 PM

Penelope Rutledge iz a harpy of the lowest order, Liddle Hargue, and my mos' saje device to you iz stay clear of her. Her tongue is lined wif straight razors and she swills raw Sterno straight from the can. Thar iz no depth obv depravity thet this woman will sink to in order to cut the balls off ob a man, or beast, fish or fowl.

I hab suffered horrible from her scabrous attacks in the passed an' am only now recouped inough to eben respond in a sesnble manner to yore query.

I ain't sure what or who "She" iz but I would not trust her wif my goat nor sleep next to her fer enny lenthg ob time!

Yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 07:02 PM

There's a rumour going around that you are Penelope Rutledge, Tweed! If so, it must be the most extreme case of self-hatred or split personality in history...as shocking as if it turned out that I was Clinton Hammond! Can you shed any light on this perplexing matter?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 03 Dec 03 - 06:37 PM

Dammit! If you keep going this direction the thread will become a music thread. Stay on topic if you please!

Yerz,
Tweed
K.O.T.R.O.T.~Pedant de BS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 10:35 PM

Pardom my poi, is that the Honolulu choo-choo?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 07:20 PM

OK, ok, I stand corrected. Please replace Chattanooga wherever it appears with Chattahootchie. Please replace "Wooga-wooga-wooga!" with "Ootchie-ootchie-cootchie!". That should greatly improve matters and clear up any confusion.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Dec 03 - 07:10 PM

That would be Chattahoochee as in the Chattahoochee River, which forms much of the border between Georgia and Alabama.

Historico-geographical oddity: The town which is home to Florida's oldest and largest state-supported mental hospital is also called Chattahoochee. Oddly enough, the Chattahoochee River does not flow through or by it. Why? Because Florida, calls the same body of water the Apalachicola River, not the Chattahoochee. The dual naming goes back to colonial times, when Spanish Florida and English Georgia wouldn't agree upon a single name for the river. In the same spirit of non-cooperation, one of the large "lakes" caused by damming the Chattahoochee is called Lake Walter F. George by Georgians and Lake Eufaula by Alabamians.

More than you ever wanted to know, but somebody's gotta keep the thread refreshed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 06:39 PM

Pardon me, Carol C
Is that the Chatanooga Lye-bare-eeee?
Where Chatanooga goes to read,
On Saturday night?

Pardon me Carol C,
Is that the Chatanooga Lye-bare-eee?
Where Chatanooga Societee
Gathers seekin' the light?

You can check out any novel after quarter to five
The doors will open wide, and you'll be glad your alive!
Finest in the nation!
What an inspiration!
Sitting in the readin' room Gettyin' ed-yoo-cashun!

Oh, pardon me Carol C
Is that the Chatanooga Li-bare-ee?
Yes it's really pretty plain to see,
You're in that Chatanooga,
Wooga-wooga-wooga!
Chatanooga li-braire-eeeeeeee!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,CarolC again
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 03:09 PM

...that would be the Chattahoochee Regional Lawberry in my subject line there


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,CarolC at the Chattahoochee Valley Reg. Lawb
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 03:07 PM

We're back!!!

We're back in the Warm Sunny South just in time to miss a big snow and ice storm in Michigan. We still don't have internet access at home, but hopefully we will soon.

I don't have time right now to read the parts of this thread that I've missed. I'm actually still tryting to decide if I'm going to brave those   
murky waters. All input and advice would be appreciated.

Hey Khandu! I see your name up there. Did you get the PM I sent you back in September or some time thereabouts?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 10:22 AM

it is well established that both the misbegotten ilk and the bewildered ilk were only discovered in the late 1600's - (in fact it is believed that the bewildered ilk is really only a local offshoot of the English "not a clue" ilk and didn't appear until approximately 1690) therefore the manuscript must indeed be a fake!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 10:04 AM

Sorry -- it won't fly!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 03 - 08:47 AM

I've been to Ship Island and I have the cap to prove it. It says "Ship Island" just as big as allgitout on the front. I didn't see any scrolls or tablets or even books there. Just a bunch of people on the beach and old Ft. Mass.

I've also be up Ship Creek, and I didn't have a paddle either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Thespian
Date: 30 Nov 03 - 09:37 PM

Look at the December 2003 issue of "Conundrum", page 69-71!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Nov 03 - 09:16 PM

Now look here, Thespian -- I do not believe any magazine in its right mind published that, for very simple reason -- the writing is awful!!   It seeks to be biblical and in so doing fails miserably. It tries to use Elizabethan English constructions much as the King James translation does, but manifests unforgivable ignorance about persons and tenses of verbs, the proper use of pronouns and other basic rules of the trade. Confess, here, for the sake of your soul!! You have been counterfeiting, now, haven't you?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Thespian
Date: 30 Nov 03 - 08:40 PM

A recent issue of "Conundrum" magazine contained an article that I found quite interesting, which I believe is apropos for inclusion in MOAB.

Here is an excerpt from the article:

Ship Island, a few miles off the Mississippi Gulf Coast, has recently proven itself to be an archaeologist's dream.
   Kevin Whitehead and his partner, Bea Dubrielle, who have been doing freelance archaeological digs on the island, discovered a heavily constructed wooden box that contained a parchment scroll.
   Tests have shown the scroll to be from the late 1500s.
   The scroll contains a message written in an "Old English dialect" which speaks of a "land of Moab" and its inhabitants.
   Professor Jess P Amos of the Shay-Patterson Institute in Jackson Mississippi commented on the message:
   "It appears that this is a cryptic tale of the creation of a tribe of Moabites, which I believe is not the 'Biblical' Moabites. "
   Conundrum has been granted exclusive rights to print the entire text of the message, which appears below. . . .


It came to pass in the fifty-second winter, the king didst arise from the midst of Atalla in the deep. And the king didst look upon the void, and he didst behold the multitude; the rovers and their ilk, the ramblers and their ilk, the misbegotten and their ilk, also the bewildered and their ilk.

The king was moved with compassion upon them because they were without a land for themselves. He spake unto himself, "These art the outcasts. They hath no land for   themselves. Let there be a place fitting for these strange sort."

Three times he spake these words then he falleth silent for a half century.

In the second year of the new day, the king didst stir and he spake unto himself, "I will make unto these a land of fertile soil, a vast land that floweth with wonder and mirth; and they shalt come from all the earth to dwell in their land."

And the king didst mull and ponder for a short while.

In the fifth month of the third year of the new day, the king spake unto the multitude, "Let there be a land in which to dwell the rovers, the ramblers, the
Misbegotten and the bewildered, and all their ilk, and let them frolic and let them romp securely in the land in which they dwelleth."

And the king didst create the land and he calleth it the land of MOAB, and the inhabitants calleth he them Moabites. And he saw that it was good.

And the land did flourish and become great...yea, even greater than the king.

And the king rejoiced greatly and he didst calleth himself a Moabite.

And the king giveth stern warning, "Troubleth not the Moabites, lest I smite thee with a plague of slimy worms that shalt invade thine gonads till thine eyes buggeth out"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 11:55 AM

Shakespeare, Moliere and Bach are dead and I'm pretty tired myself and all you can say is "wow..."????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 11:21 AM

Sheeney Knause stays in constant contact with Penelope Rutledge, whom I believe to be Tweed in cog nito.

BTW, where is cog nito?

And may I, khandu, King of all Mississippi, welcome the loquacious 290 to MOAB, the land of Great Minds!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 02:26 AM

Well, 290! Your first post to the MOAB (and only your 13th post to the Mudcat) and all you have to say is "Wow..."? Not even "Wow!!!", but "Wow..." as if you're not really sure you mean it.

If I were a Mudcat newbie I'd say, "Wow!!! You guys are awesome! You're all geniuses! This thread is a work of art! It may be the central document for a new religion! Have you considered submitting it to Shambhala Press for publication?"

"I really liked the Martian Invasion part best of all. And that Bubba Bubba was a real hottie before she turned into a stinking toadstool. Whatever happened to Sheeney Knause?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: fiercefiddler
Date: 27 Nov 03 - 02:01 AM

wow...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 26 Nov 03 - 11:43 PM

RR, neither of these people proclaimed you as the Royal POB & PL!!

But I did!!!!!!!!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 26 Nov 03 - 10:50 PM

Khandu- I already had my candidate for man of the year but I can be swayed (or payed off). I was also considering this man, but I want to remain a part of your kingdomness, so I think that would not be a choice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Nov 03 - 08:01 PM

I'm...I'm...just devastated. I suppose in a while, four or five years, I'll be okay. But right now...I...I'll be alright. It's just the shock.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 11:31 PM

We didn't think you needed to know, man. Death is need-to-know these days...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 11:17 PM

Heavens, did you all know that SHAKESPEARE is dead? And Moliere? And I just found out that J.S. Bach is too!

Why didn't someone TELL me????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 10:58 PM

Hmmmm, My sentiments exactly, BWL!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Nov 03 - 08:58 PM

While perusing the "S" listings in the Dead People Server to which Rapaire linked, I noticed that Sam Shepard (playwright/actor born November 5, 1943) and Harry Dean Stanton (actor/musician born July 14, 1926) are both alive. That is not surprising since I don't think I've ever seen a Sam Shepard play (or even too many films in which Sam Shepard has acted) in which Harry Dean Stanton has not acted. This leads me to conclude that Sam Shepard and Harry Dean Stanton are, in fact, the same person. The fact that they are both alive is not a coincidence. I don't know how to account for the 17 year difference in their ages, but it's probably something about which Sam Shepard could write a pretty damned good play.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 08:52 PM

William Shatner (actor (alleged director, alleged author)) -- Alive. Born March 22, 1931. Made several comebacks; should stick to comedies (like Miss Congeniality)

This is from the Dead People Server.

Little Hawk is not listed. Shatner is. I think that this is significant.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Nov 03 - 08:15 PM

I'm a-votin' fer ya, Khandu! Heck, I'll vote fer anybody who pays enuff an' gives me enuff booze! Howdaya think ol' Georgy-boy got E-lected, huh? It was me an' my buddy, Chad. Only they caught Chad and strung him up to a palm tree in Miami Beach. Not that he cared. Nope, not Chad. Didn't faze him in the least little bit. He jist sucked in a whole bunch of air and swung there until finally they cut him down. He let out all that air with a WHOOOSH!! that knocked trees and houses down clear to Sandy Juann, Porty Ricko. Anyway, ol' Chad is still hangin' 'round Florida, tellin' his story, wowin' the girls with what a swinger he is, and what a blowhard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 09:00 PM

This is an excerpt from the very first post to MOAB, dated 05 May 03 ! Perhaps it is prophetic!:

"Pene Azul and Joe Offer will thank me for making their job so much easier! My fellow 'Catters will also thank me when they realize the time my idea will save them! Maybe this will finally get me the coveted "Time/Life Man of the Year"!!"

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 07:35 PM

Frankly, I don't see why this should pose any insurmountable difficulties. And it's hardly an unreasonable request from the Father of Mother.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 23 Nov 03 - 07:31 PM

This year I really want the honor of Time Mags "Man of the Year"

Could some of you pull some strings on my behalf?

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dudya on Son's 'Puter
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 08:50 PM

Okay. You can go ahead now. Whatever you've gotta say - just say it. Whatever you've gotta do - just do it. I'm online again even if it is on this pain in the ass laptop. But,hey, for the MOAB I'll do just about anything, even interact as a GUEST on this impossible to use piece of crap.

Bee-dubya-ell, KOT and All That Jive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 03 - 08:22 PM

Ah, but the question is: Does Clareling exist?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Clareling
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 11:02 PM

ah, yes khandu, you have cought on to my dastardly plot to overthrough this 'MOAB' as you call it...
But first i thought i might take a little knowledge...
riiiiiiiight

Thanks Amos.
Clare


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 09:03 PM

What!!!???? Is Clareling trying to sabotage MOAB with a serious question, or is Clareling just shooting some BS?

Or perhaps he/she sees the brilliance exhibated at MOAB and figured we would know the answer to any question!!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 08:17 PM

The thread is called "Mudcat Challenge -- 100 Words" or something like that and can be found Over Here


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Clareling
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 07:24 PM

Sorry, no BS here, just a question...
does anyone rember the 100 word stories? and do you know if and how i can find them?
Clare


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 07:15 PM

Let's see: I went over the house today to let the plumbers in. They did their things, the Fire Dept. inspected the joint and made recommendations, and the chimney sweep swept the chimneys. But the Chimney Sweep guy told me that the hot water heaater was spilling water. I checked, it was, the plumbers came back. The electrician who was supposed to be in this week didn't call, so he can't get in until the week after next at the earliest. The tile folks can't get in until the first week in December or so. So...getting in by December 17 is PURE BS, fantasy of the first water. It ain't real!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 06:47 PM

Hey, Rapaire, that's a foul -- you're talking reality here, no BS to it!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 06:39 PM

Well, I *hope* to be moving then, but if a bunch of folks came up here to Pocatallo and helped me we could get it done faster (hint, hint).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 06:35 PM

No good! Saturday after next, I'll be tied up for a few days!

How bout December 17?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 11:38 AM

KK:

Ya just gotta decide whose schedule is going to define your actions -- yours? Or these guys'?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 11:19 AM

Tuesday through Friday's no good for me as I'll be in North Carolina. Could King Khandrake, Ruler of all Mississippi and portions of western Alabama, consider waiting til Saturday after next? ... I suspect this will be a very important ROYAL DECREE containing STUPENDOUS amounts of Bullshit and I'd hate to miss the unveiling.
Yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 09:15 AM

See, khandu, this is what comes of being a fair-weather ruler!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 09:06 AM

Yeah, but Tuesday I'm flying to Indiana.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 08:51 AM

Hear ye, hear ye,

We shall wait until BWL returns!

Kk


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Nov 03 - 12:00 AM

Well, it doesn't look like whatever it is is gonna happen tonight and I'm leaving early in the AM for Tampa and will be gone till Tuesday. I really hate to miss it, but if it can't wait, I'll understand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 11:10 PM

Oops. Sorry, Khandu. Go ahead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 20 Nov 03 - 11:09 PM

Whatever it is that "Khandu" says untrue, as the true Khandu has been digested and excreted. And we are very, very sorry about that, truly.


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