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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 17 Aug 03 - 07:22 PM
GUEST,"Debbie Earl" 17 Aug 03 - 06:37 PM
GUEST,Muffy 17 Aug 03 - 04:58 PM
Rapparee 17 Aug 03 - 04:01 PM
Amos 17 Aug 03 - 01:56 PM
GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge 17 Aug 03 - 12:56 PM
Rapparee 17 Aug 03 - 09:48 AM
Tweed 16 Aug 03 - 11:06 PM
Tweed 16 Aug 03 - 11:01 PM
Rapparee 16 Aug 03 - 08:52 PM
Amos 16 Aug 03 - 08:33 PM
GUEST,Bubba Bubba 16 Aug 03 - 08:21 PM
GUEST,Bubba Bubba 16 Aug 03 - 08:16 PM
Rapparee 16 Aug 03 - 03:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Aug 03 - 12:24 PM
Amos 16 Aug 03 - 11:54 AM
Sandra in Sydney 16 Aug 03 - 11:30 AM
GUEST,Smokey John 16 Aug 03 - 05:19 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Aug 03 - 09:47 PM
Tweed 15 Aug 03 - 08:01 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Aug 03 - 11:45 PM
GUEST 14 Aug 03 - 07:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Aug 03 - 06:32 PM
hrothgleas 14 Aug 03 - 01:36 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Aug 03 - 10:05 PM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 03 - 02:21 PM
Amos 13 Aug 03 - 01:26 PM
GUEST 13 Aug 03 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 13 Aug 03 - 12:04 PM
Rapparee 13 Aug 03 - 11:37 AM
Amos 13 Aug 03 - 11:17 AM
Rapparee 13 Aug 03 - 11:15 AM
Little Hawk 13 Aug 03 - 10:52 AM
Amos 13 Aug 03 - 10:47 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Aug 03 - 01:52 AM
Rustic Rebel 13 Aug 03 - 12:14 AM
Rustic Rebel 13 Aug 03 - 12:07 AM
Amos 12 Aug 03 - 11:44 PM
Rustic Rebel 12 Aug 03 - 11:30 PM
Amos 12 Aug 03 - 10:35 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 03 - 08:34 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 03 - 07:58 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 03 - 05:19 PM
Amos 12 Aug 03 - 02:33 PM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 03 - 02:04 PM
Rapparee 12 Aug 03 - 11:11 AM
GUEST 12 Aug 03 - 11:10 AM
Little Hawk 12 Aug 03 - 10:59 AM
GUEST,MMario 12 Aug 03 - 09:20 AM
Rapparee 12 Aug 03 - 08:40 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 07:22 PM

Suffered from a dramatic lack of understanding!!

Ms Earl I am almighty IMpressed with yore recent adventures and most specially with your conclusions therefrom having always been most partial to Scarlatti and JCFB and almost anyone who was genuinely early.

Thanks for the enlightening rencontre and pray continue!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,"Debbie Earl"
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 06:37 PM

My dear Ms. Rutledge,

Please forgive me my former impolitesse, as I was then but a callow youth. Many things have happened since I last posted, and I should like to bring you current.

I set out from Blue Dog, Arkansas, where I had been dwelling, to find you, Ms. Rutledge. I had every intent of making you my partner in the reproduction of my kind. Fortunately, as I was traversing a "bald knob" in the Ozarks, I was struck by lightning. When I awakened from this electrocution (which would have killed anyone born on this planet), I found that my gonadal cycle (if I may, with your permission, refer to such) had been accelerated and that I was now far, far more interested in things of the intellect than things corporal.

My first inclination was to find a large public library and devour everything in it, but I realized that such would hardly sate my appetite for knowledge. I have, therefore, consumed the libraries of the Universities of Missouri, Minnesota, Illinois, Chicago, and Indiana. (I have also digested the knowledge of the chairpeople of several academic departments, but with little furtherance of my knowledge. I do, however, now have what can only be called an encyclopedic knowledge of various alcoholic drinks and sexual matters relating to Earthen folk.)

Ms. Rutledge, while I still enjoy the ennui and spiritual dissonance inherent in "the blues," I must tell you that I have found that Baroque chamber music, especially that of the period from 1734 to 1785, is so exquisitely complex that I wonder how your Earthen minds concieved it. I have become especially enamored of such as Scarletti, JCF Bach, and the early Mozart.

I shall not annoy you with my attentions any longer, dear lady, but I shall now and again post here, should you wish to honor my scribblings with a glance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Muffy
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 04:58 PM

So...you didn't have a leg to stand on?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 04:01 PM

Academic standing? Me? Heck, I I went through school via academic groveling, academic whining, and academic pleading. But standing? No, sir! We drank too much to be left standing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 01:56 PM

Rapaire:

I think you might be overdoing it a bit. Aspiring to academic standing, are we??? :>))


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 12:56 PM

Tweed, I see that at 11:01 pm on Aug 16th you somehow managed to post a link to the contents of your brain! Most edifying.

You then tried again, got it right, and posted the link you had intended to in the first place, and it's really quite amusing too...

France can be charming, and I dearly hope that a certain Angelique will be returning there soon with her kilted, perverted paramour firmly in tow. With any luck he will fall into the Seine during one of his drunken midnight rambles and the world will be delivered from a very nasty problem and a great deal of incredibly bad poetry, while Twillingsgate will be delivered from on ongoing embarrassment of ever-enlarging proportions.

Keep up the good work, Tweed! I expect to see a link to your moral and ethical condition on the next post...

* PR


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Aug 03 - 09:48 AM

Translations:

"arghhhh....tout les jours la meme chose...."

Aw, man, every day the same old shit.

"arghhh....laissez les bontemps rouler...."

Aw, man, let the good time roll. (Alternately, 'Aw, man, roll some of that good shit.')

(Academic stuff: please note in the first quotation that Tweed is also subtlely refering to the phrase "A chacun a son gout," which is best translated as "To each to his taste" or "You can eat them snails, but I'll have a hot dog, thanks." He is also verbally playing with the phrase "Plus ca change, plus ca meme chose," which can be translated as "The more things change, the more they are the same thing." Obviously then Tweed is bored, suffering from what the French call "ennui" and his mother probably called "If you can't find something to do, I'll find something for you to do."

The second quote is the unofficial motto of New Orleans. Translated exactly it would mean "(You [plural] let (or permit) the goodtimes (you plural) roll (or drive, in the sense of driving an automobile). Thus a better more exact translations might be "You all permit the goodtimes you all drive." Since this makes but little sense (if that), the more colloquial translation is preferred.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:06 PM

arghhh....laissez les bontemps rouler....
Panama Invades France (really!) ('Appy Bidet Joe)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:01 PM

arghhhh....tout les jours la meme chose....

Read the ex-Texas Jewboy's accounts of his travels.
Panama Invades France


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 08:52 PM

Not having seen hide nor hair of my sister for a year or more, she might fait la pisse bleu. Ou verte, ou blanche, ou noire, ou fuschia. Not having seen her doesn't mean that she's not okay, just that I haven't seen her.

Anyway, I'm back from Boise and ready to continue my duties as Official Translator From French To English Or At Least American. As I was saying to someone just the other day, "Tant pisse, mon ami, le sacrebleu est la belle demoiselle qui passe la-bas est la voisinne du Jacques. Maintenant, hola Isabelle! Como esta? Ich du gedanke!"

Well, naturally they replied, "Dumheit! Scheisskopf! Tete du merde! Tonto! Cabeza de caca!" Which, of course, was a wonderful paen to my linguistic ability. Indeed, one of them, a PhD in Modern European Languages, even went so far as to say that my perspicacity, modality, and all-around smarts made me the single most cunning linguist he'd ever met. Needless to say, it's seldom that such a compliment is handed to me, and I was duly modest in taking bows.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 08:33 PM

Et ta soeur, elle pisse bleu -- tu as quelque-chose a teinter? Non, non, excusez-moi, mon copain. Je suis tres content to te voir!! J'espere que toous va bien avec toi!

A bientot.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bubba Bubba
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 08:21 PM

Bee-dubya honey pot, you got me so excited that I jist pushed the wrong l'il ol' button agin. But I'll bet that you and Khandu know all about pushin' the right buttons, don't you?

Anyway, I want you to know that I've found the perfect l'il ol' place!! The lines are right an everything! I've got together enough soft things for the nestlings, too, so they'll be warm and dry while they're growin' big and strong on you and Khandu. And the Labrador Retriever is really lookin' forward to this, 'cause I kin tell. The R. Nigracans will be ready in about a week, and then I'll let you know where to meet me for this l'il ol' doin's.

Oh, I'm jist sooooooooooooooo excited an' all!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bubba Bubba
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 08:16 PM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 03:33 PM

Que voulez-vous, Amos, eh? Je suis ici, maintenant, et je suis plein du piss et vinegar.

(Translation: Waddaya want, Amos, huh? I'm here now and full of piss and vinegar.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 12:24 PM

Now, Amos, the boy said he'd be gone for "trois jours". That don't necessarilly mean exactly "soixante-douze heures", and your post was made exactly soixante et onze heures et cinquante minutes after Rapaire's last one. Please allow a little fexibility regarding the meaning of a "jour". Anyway, he's in Boise. He may have overstuffed himself at the Mongolian Barbecue on Broadway and is waiting for his waistline to shrink a little so he can get out of the booth.

Bruce


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:54 AM

Et cet grand copain Rapire, ou est-il, alors? Il nous a promis qu'il reviendra mais on ne voit point rien de lui!! Quel blaguard, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 11:30 AM

$2 cigarettes!!!, here the smokers pay well over $8 a packet. Not being a smoker I don't know precisely, but I was with a friend 3 or 4 years back when he bought some at that price.

sandra


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Smokey John
Date: 16 Aug 03 - 05:19 AM

Anybody want some CANCER FREE CIGARETTES? Two dollars for the cigarettes and the cancer is free.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Aug 03 - 09:47 PM

I really hate people who have absolutely nothing to say but make totally gratuitous posts just to say, "I posted #900!" or something like that. It really pisses me off and anybody that does it oughtta be shot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 15 Aug 03 - 08:01 PM

#899


Who'd a thunk it...nearly 900 little steaming piles of crap. A blot on the mudcat nation with a stench-cloud rising that turns aside all but the most dedicated bullshitter.
Welcome Hrothgleas. I can think of no better entry into this bizarro world of BS than to start expounding upon the virtues of keyboard bands. I applaud and salute you vigorously!

Where is Penelope Rogglodge keeping her tartly self? My god that woman is fascinating, even though she detests me so bitterly and would have me flayed and consumed by the invading freds for amusement given the opportunity.

And what of the King of All Bullshit himself? It is rumored that the Royal Palace in Mississippi was underwater and sinking like fabled Atlantis with him on his throne.

And where is the High Priest of All Horseshit,the flatulent and highly volatile Catspaw and the CLETISIAN Forces? O, how I long for the days of truly sumptuous bullshit, exploding outhouses, the rocketing blow-up sex dolls, KingKhandu receiving his electroshock treatments at Neil Young's very exclusive rehabilitation spa.

Bring the BS to the table along with a well cooked mallard and the Royal Dancing Tarts. We must make merry as we have nearly reached 900.

Yerz,
Tweed
Lord of this SpareTire Puter known only as ZEOS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Aug 03 - 11:45 PM

Listen up people! You're not gonna believe this! I just checked and hrothgleas's post to this thread, The Mother of All BS Threads was his very first Mudcat post! That's right, folks - numero uno! Gotta be a first for MOAB as well. What an honor for hrothgleas. Years from now when the MOAB has reached its own millionth post hrothgleas can proudly say, "That was the first Mudcat thread I ever posted to." The implications are astounding. What if all new Mudcatters were to be required to make their first posts to the MOAB? What if every new Mudcatter were to be required to read the entirety of the MOAB before making that post? That'd be one way to run those music snobs outta here and insure a firm foundation of certifiable BSers. Hoo-haw!

Bruce (but then you already knew that, didn't you?)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Aug 03 - 07:39 PM

I would rather be fileted with a dull axe than call up the keyboard gorps obv de sebbenties! Gahhh........no mas..no mas. esta est mui mofo BS enclave! How's dat por de buono Frainch Amos? ;~)
HOO HOOOOOOOOOO!

Yerz,
Tweed (sans la cookleee heeee haaawwwwwww....)
Cranque du Dah


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Aug 03 - 06:32 PM

Wasn't Emerson in a group called The Now? I'm not gonna cheat and use Google this time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: hrothgleas
Date: 14 Aug 03 - 01:36 PM

I have stumbled into a strange and scary place.

Funny thing is that it feels like home.

i enjoyed the musical quizzes earlier - here's a bit of trivial trivia:

back in the 70's I was a huge fan of keyboard wizards and art-rock. The members of Emerson, Lake, and Palmer had all enjoyed at least middlin' succes in earlier groups. Name all three groups.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 10:05 PM

I like Boise. In fact, Boise would be a real nice place for Bubba Bubba, khandu, the Lab and me to have our little tryst. Yeh! Right on top of Table Rock! Cool!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 02:21 PM

If I had a sister, I would be compelled to defend her honour for that! Fortunatly, I do not have a sister.

Isn't French a marvelous language? So passionate!

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 01:26 PM

Actually what I mean to say was "Ruination of culture? Right...making big noises about "dignite and perspicacity" (note the mixed French and English structures)on this "forum" " (a word that does not exist in French). You'd like to appear all knowledgeable and French but it's clear you have just been pushing buttons (i.e. using a computerized translator). Yer sister sucks eggs!"

HOpe this helps.

Regards,

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 12:19 PM

Enjoy Boise (if that is possible)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 12:04 PM

D'accord, mes vieux, attendez pour trois jours, si vous plait. J'ai fait un voyage a Boise maintenant, so iffen you're gonna continue jawin' in French you'll hafta git someone else who talks it as good as me to translate fer folks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 11:37 AM

Ol' Amos said something like:

Cultural annihilations? Okay, dude -- you make a big deal about the dignity and smarts of this forum. You sound like a real smart ass, really French, but it's clear you ain't pushing all your buttons. Your sister sucks eggs.

Or maybe it was somethin' else entirely.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 11:17 AM

Anihilation culturel? Bien sur -- par example, on qui fait grand bruit pour plus de "dignité et perspicacity" sur ce "forum". Lorsque tu veux sembler un type tres conaissant, tres Francais, c'est clair que tu n'est qu'un pousseur des boutons!! Ta soeur!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 11:15 AM

Fer those of you who don't talk French, here's what LH said:

There's a whole bunch of Christian (er maybe "cretins") sittin' round here. They give a lot a dignity and perspicacity (means "smarts") to this forum here. Without them we'd just be a bunch of alien librarians and folks who collect li'l ole porcelian figurines from the Franklin Mint and such places. Next thing, they're gonna hit their friends up for drinks. But that dog don't hunt none. It'll be the ruin of our culture and civilization if they do that without offering me one.

Or something like that.

(Purty good, huh, LH, huh? I din't fergit that French I studied in college.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 10:52 AM

Assez de cet entretien corrompu! Nous avons besoin de plus de dignité et perspicacity sur ce forum. Sans lui nous pouvons aliéner des bibliothécaires et les gens qui rassemblent de petits figurines de porcelaine. La prochaine chose qui se produira est que les amis commenceront à nous éviter. Alors le chien refusera de faire des promenades. C'est une pente glissante à l'anihilation culturel que nous regardons ici, et il ne doit pas être permis!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 10:47 AM

Wow, I am so, like, THERE! LOL! Actually RR, you don't need to get your enthusiasm back, just your initials. :>)

BB, don't forget that male homo saps have been known to carry alien offspring to term in their chest cavities. The birth process involves splitting the sternum and stretching the ribcage open, and tearing a passageway through the muscles and tissue layers. So it is not something yuo should try at home! :>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 01:52 AM

What Bubba Bubba has yet to explain is, given that this extraterrestrial/interspecies reproductive endeavor will involve four beings of one kind or another, which one of us actually gets knocked up? I certainly hope it's the Lab. In fact, I certainly hope the Lab is a female Lab. Either that or I hope that the offspring is awful damned small 'cause I don't think khandu or I either one have the proper equipment for childbearing.

Furthermore, I certainly hope this clusterfuck does not actually involve khandu and my humble self knowing each other in the biblical sense. I'll pour tupelo honey or possumhaw syrup on the sumbitch if that stirs Bubba Bubba's grits, but that's about as far as it goes.

And, Rustic, I'll take some pictures but I'm gonna put 'em on a website and charge $39.95 per month membership. But you Rapaire and Amos can all have the first month for only $19.95.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 12:14 AM

Oh hell, I want to take that back. All those photos would do is make me horny, not necessarily re-enthused. Than again...
Well shit Amos, now you made me all confused.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Aug 03 - 12:07 AM

Quite right Amos, I must find a way to get re-enthused quickly. Seeing those pictures of Bee-Dubya-ell getting it on with a mutant polyprobiscus and a labridor retriever might just do it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 11:44 PM

Steady down there, RR -- you're just losing some of your initial enthusiasm. Happens to the best of us in due course! :>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 11:30 PM

Is ilk something that's pumped out of a ows its?

Bee-dubya, will you please take a camera with on your adventure to Bubba-Bubba land? I would really like to see that interaction on film.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, the ows its are becoming increasingly sore pumping all that ilk...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 10:35 PM

Don't be too hard on those ilk. Some of my best friends are ilk!! They don't know they're being conned.

Clever how they disguised those propellors as a wind farm, huh?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 08:34 PM

Lots of folks around here go ilk hunting every Fall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 07:58 PM

If we could just do something about that blasted ilk! I have heard that the common ilk can be lured into a trap if you bait it with a mixture of honey and cornchips. I should think a deadfall trap (covered-over pit with sharpened stakes in the floor) might serve to put an end to the ilk once and for all. Then the Cognoscienti (or however the hell you spell it) would be on their own and much more vulnerable.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 05:19 PM

And while you are busily congratulating yourselves, the Cognescentii and their ilk are busily working to change the very orbit of the Earth!! They are selecting places on the planet where a slight push will force the Earth into a new orbit which is lower relative to the sun, raising temperatures until only they and their air-conditioned minions remain! At this very moment their plot is complete on Ascension Island and all too soon they will activate these giant propellors and push the Earth out of its orbit! Because they want the immeasurable resources found on the Moon!

Please, try to stop this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 02:33 PM

Oh, inspired, inspired!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 02:04 PM

Thank you, GUEST! That may just be the most inspired piece of writing I have ever done.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 11:11 AM

Well, Mario, I hate like hell to brag, but, well.... Anyway, she's happy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 11:10 AM

Dr.Evil and whasshisname


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 10:59 AM

Impressive, impressive...

Are you aware of the atomic-powered dildo with which Dr Evil once menaced Captain Kirk, only to be foiled by swift action taken by Kirk and Spock?

It's somewhere way back in the Mudcat postings a year or two ago, but I really don't know how to find it...

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 09:20 AM

JAYZUS! With equiptment like that someone could service the Incredible 50 Foot Woman!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Aug 03 - 08:40 AM

Simple, LH, when one has the right equipment.


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