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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 02 Feb 13 - 02:19 PM
Acme 02 Feb 13 - 01:22 PM
Amos 02 Feb 13 - 01:16 PM
Acme 02 Feb 13 - 10:19 AM
Rapparee 02 Feb 13 - 09:51 AM
Little Hawk 01 Feb 13 - 11:11 PM
gnu 01 Feb 13 - 10:45 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 13 - 10:23 PM
Acme 01 Feb 13 - 10:09 PM
Amos 01 Feb 13 - 05:34 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 13 - 03:08 PM
Acme 01 Feb 13 - 10:27 AM
Rapparee 01 Feb 13 - 10:15 AM
Amos 01 Feb 13 - 04:26 AM
Amos 31 Jan 13 - 11:02 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jan 13 - 07:22 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 13 - 07:05 PM
Amos 31 Jan 13 - 04:02 PM
Acme 31 Jan 13 - 02:24 PM
Amos 31 Jan 13 - 02:24 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 13 - 02:20 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 13 - 02:10 PM
Amos 31 Jan 13 - 01:29 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 13 - 08:39 PM
Amos 30 Jan 13 - 08:27 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 13 - 04:57 PM
Amos 30 Jan 13 - 04:09 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jan 13 - 12:03 PM
Acme 30 Jan 13 - 10:17 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 13 - 08:17 AM
Amos 30 Jan 13 - 01:28 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jan 13 - 10:43 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 13 - 09:26 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 13 - 08:07 PM
Acme 29 Jan 13 - 12:46 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 13 - 11:15 AM
Rapparee 29 Jan 13 - 08:27 AM
Amos 29 Jan 13 - 12:44 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jan 13 - 12:30 AM
Amos 28 Jan 13 - 10:27 PM
gnu 28 Jan 13 - 10:07 PM
Acme 28 Jan 13 - 09:36 PM
Little Hawk 28 Jan 13 - 10:13 AM
Rapparee 28 Jan 13 - 08:33 AM
Amos 27 Jan 13 - 11:50 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jan 13 - 08:44 PM
gnu 27 Jan 13 - 07:43 PM
gnu 27 Jan 13 - 04:55 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 13 - 04:48 PM
Acme 27 Jan 13 - 03:42 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 02:19 PM

Oh, STOP it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 01:22 PM

No she hasn't, she's just wearing a really baggy sweatshirt this morning. With all of the vigorous work around the house and yard and hauling drunks upstairs to bed (yes, youse guys when you've tied one on. . .) she's very fit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 01:16 PM

Ya know, the way you and Rapp stuff these high-carb breakfasts down her throat, Mom is seriously gaining weight. She's laid on several stoners since 2008.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 10:19 AM

Have some buttermilk pancakes and a cuppa English Breakfast tea, MOM. It's a lovely day so let's roll!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 13 - 09:51 AM

Be very aware that LH likes that kind of thing.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 11:11 PM

Speaking of pedantry, "idnit" is not proper English!

50 smacks with the ruler on your bare behind!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 10:45 PM

"I did NOT mean we should hurry UP and do it,..."

Hurry up what? Do what? Did you mean hurry up to do it?

Yes, that is pedantic. Annoying, idnit?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 10:23 PM

Amos, in an anger fit,
Dismembered a nasty little twit.
Mom MOAB said, her tone quite trite,
"Why Amos lad! That's not polite!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 10:09 PM

Well THAT'S strange!

$850 for the wheel bearing, the rear differential service, and an oil change. (I had a coupon for $6 off the oil change. Whew!) They washed the truck for free, and that is the only part of today's activity that is actually visible.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 05:34 PM

When the children freeze and shiver,
Bookeman throws them in the river,
Because it's known since days of old,
They're a dish that's best served cold.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 03:08 PM

See, Stilly, if you would take out the back wall of your garage and install a door there instead you could put a grease rack in front of that back door and be able to do your own car repairs! In fact, installing the grease rack in the middle of a trench would allow you to work on the truck without using the rack for things you don't need a rack to repair. The dogs would love it, too!

No, no, don't thank me. I come up with solutions like this all the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 10:27 AM

SOB!

My pickemup truck is in the shop. Needs a front hub assembly replaced (making a noise - could loose a wheel), needs the rear axle service, and it's time for an oil change. Upwards of $900 on today's visit to the dealer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 10:15 AM

Father heard his children scream
So he threw them in the stream,
Saying, as he drowned the third,
"Children should be seen, not heard!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Feb 13 - 04:26 AM

Willie, in a fit of hell
Drowned his sister in the well.
Mother sighed, while fetching water,
"It's so hard to raise a daughter!"

Willie found some dynamite.
Didn't understand it quite.
Curiosity never pays.
It rained Willie seven days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 11:02 PM

Chongo's early exposure to violece and commerce defined his inevitable course in life.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 07:22 PM

Sounds like little Willie's death was quite timely, doesn't it?

So....anyone seen any good movies lately about Hillbillys?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 07:05 PM

Down into the well
Which the plumber built her
Aunt Eliza fell.
We must buy a filter.

I follow TED all the time Amos -- saw that when it first came out. I agree with your assessment.

Willie, with a taste for gore,
Nailed his sister to the floor.
Mother said, with humor quaint,
"Careful, Will, don't spoil the paint."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 04:02 PM

Here's a really fine and funny chat with deep roots which I recommend to all of you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 02:24 PM

When one first reads that ditty it sounds like the "he" sucking paint off the stick is the monkey. That does make more sense.

Little Willie, feeling swell
Pushed his sister in the well
Said his mother, drawing water
"It's mighty tough to raise a daughter."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 02:24 PM

You are so deft at slippery talk, dear Sir, that politics is the only corridor in which you will ever feel at home; to turn the embarrassment of slow adaptation into a virtue by quick-tongued semantic tomfoolery is the ability sine qua non of the true politician. Failing that, you could try used car sales. "Those rust marks on the valve springs, Madam, are NOT a flaw--they bear testament to the fact that the car was never driven over 45 miles an hour!"

Mwahahaha. A Daniel, I say! A Daniel!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 02:20 PM

Before we reach another landmark number, one which will create a situation in which every second number is an odd number, I feel that this should be posted. It is so very sad, so very tragic, and so well summed up in the last line.

Lament on the Death of Willie
       by Julie A. Moore

Willie had a purple monkey climbing on a yellow stick,
And when he sucked the paint all off it made him deathly sick;
And in his latest hours he clasped that monkey in his hand,
And bade good-bye to earth and went into a better land.

Oh! no more he'll shoot his sister with his little wooden gun;
And no more he'll twist the pussy's tail and make her yowl, for fun.
The pussy's tail now stands out straight; the gun is laid aside;
The monkey doesn't jump around since little Willie died.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 02:10 PM

We changed from coal to gas forced air in 1968; in 1969 the old coal bin was converted into a darkroom.

So you see, Amos, my ash hauling and scattering experience is far more recent than yours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 13 - 01:29 PM

I, too, was born into the coal-scuttle age, and hauled cold clinkers in grocery bags out onto a frozen driveway. We changed to oil-heat and electric kitchen in the 50's, which was probably for the best as far as my lumbago is concerned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 13 - 08:39 PM

Many's the time in my youth I hauled ashes. We had a coal-fired furnace, first lumps and then a stoker, and I'd shake my ashes and haul them out. Yes, I even scattered them in the driveway during the winter to prevent slipping on the ice.

So I'm an experienced ash hauler and scatterer. Feel free to call for my services anytime -- special cut-rate prices for MOABites.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 13 - 08:27 PM

Well, you are young, and full of childish hopes and foolishness yet. When you mature you will not be so hasty to offer to deal with your friends' ashes. Although when I was much younger, my friends helped get my ashes hauled, but that is best forgotten about now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 13 - 04:57 PM

Okay, Amos -- I'll help with the scattering, since I plan to be around a lot longer than that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 13 - 04:09 PM

I did NOT mean we should hurry UP and do it, just that it's as good a thing to do with one's cremated remains as any! Jeeze!! Mine will probably be cast on the bosom of the rolling Pacific a few miles from where I am sitting, but hopefully a good twenty-five years from now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jan 13 - 12:03 PM

It's a horrifying notion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jan 13 - 10:17 AM

You guys can commingle your ashes but I'm not in a hurry to join in that garden party.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 13 - 08:17 AM

Jeremy Bentham also thought that corpses should be stuffed and used as light poles, hat racks, and other useful objects. Chong' would make a good hatrack if s/he were taller and didn't attract fleas.

Druther do that, Amos, than my first idea: have portions of my ashes mailed to various random people around the world with a note about how much I treasured their friendship and wanted them to have something to remember it by. Kinda like a Joe Hill, but to strangers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 13 - 01:28 AM

I am of the opinion that, like certain cultures in the Japanese Islands, the people of MOAB should all have their ashes mingled in a common urn. We could start a garden.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jan 13 - 10:43 PM

Have you heard, Rap? Chongo wants to be stuffed and put on exhibit in a glass case after he dies, like that Utilitarian Philosophy guy, whatever the heck his name was....(?)

He figures it would serve as an inspiration to future generations.

Maybe they could even supply his stuffed body with power so he could beat cymbals and screech every hour on the hour like the "Jolly Chimp" toy does.

It would become a place of national pilgrimage...sort of like the Lincoln Memorial. Great idea, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 13 - 09:26 PM

This is good exorcise.

Well, we have a remodeled bathroom. A new tub and surround, new sink, new toilet, new flooring, new lighting, and a (non-loadbearing) wall was cut in half to permit light to flood the toilet area. The room was repainted in a very light gray-blue and white and a mirroed medicine cabinet was attached to wall by the door, reflecting more light back into the room. The back of the door was painted white. All paints were gloss or semi-gloss exterior because of the high moisture content of a bathroom. The ceiling fan was refurbished and reinstalled. It really, really looks nice. Now we'll have to remodel the rest of the joint so that it looks as good as the bathroom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 13 - 08:07 PM

Here's another one! Exorcise it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jan 13 - 12:46 PM

What jobs? I have one that pays and one that doesn't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 13 - 11:15 AM

She's right there, Joanie on the spot.

SRS: Wonder Woman.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 13 - 08:27 AM

Stilly? Couple jobs for you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 13 - 12:44 AM

Well, that, like its namesake, is a constant in the gyrations of the universe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jan 13 - 12:30 AM

We don't want your sunny pictures, Amos, it is your sunny disposition that we long for. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 13 - 10:27 PM

I am partial to black coffee, myself, but I won't decline a nice cup of black tea one in a while.

I dunno what the problem is with you guys and winter. Your cameras are all broken and make everything look white. You should get iPhones, like I have, and all your pictures will look sunny like mine!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 13 - 10:07 PM

Red 0Rose tea? Their slogan is "Only in Canada."

That's a good idea. It's horrid tea.

King Cole Orange Pekoe for me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jan 13 - 09:36 PM

No maple syrup? I hear they found the huge haul that was stolen a while back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jan 13 - 10:13 AM

Poor suffering Amos! It may be time to send him a care package from Canada to get him through the terrible cold snap: 1 teabag, Red Rose tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 13 - 08:33 AM

All together now:

AWWWWW, POOR OLD AMOS!!!

Let's repeat that until he either goes mad or sane, whichever comes first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jan 13 - 11:50 PM

Yeah, the winter is bitter, man, I tell ya. We had drizzly rain al over the County Friday and Saturday and today it was drizzly for part of the day and even the sunlight only pushed us up to 65 degrees F. I've been wearing a sweater all weekend. This really sucks.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jan 13 - 08:44 PM

How many Hail Chongos would be required?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 13 - 07:43 PM

Nothin ain't gonna clear the air here until Wednesday... 8C and rain (from -40WC a couple of days ago) and I'll be able to open the windows. Until then the beef and cabbage stew will... nevermind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Jan 13 - 04:55 PM

Yee never heard of Radbod The Radical? Or, as the kids call him today, "Rad Rad".

Say ten Hail Garys and REPENT!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 13 - 04:48 PM

A few books? Ya wanna come by my place and put books away?

Stilly, we -- well, Pat -- are discovering a lot of different deductions: clothes (some unworn and still wrapped), medical, and others. And the poor twirp who she talked to about "closing" the apartment the other day may never find whatever gonads he had before she came in. I'm finding a lot of holy cards: intercessions to St. Jude, St. Anthony, and saints no one ever heard of, like St. Radbod.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jan 13 - 03:42 PM

When's the last time MOM vacuumed around here? I was in putting a few books away and it feels like a dust storm blew through the house.


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