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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 14 Dec 12 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 12 - 10:31 PM
Little Hawk 14 Dec 12 - 08:58 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 12 - 08:26 PM
Acme 14 Dec 12 - 08:23 PM
Little Hawk 14 Dec 12 - 07:00 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 12 - 05:41 PM
Ebbie 14 Dec 12 - 04:08 PM
gnu 14 Dec 12 - 03:18 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 12 - 02:47 PM
Amos 14 Dec 12 - 12:45 PM
Little Hawk 14 Dec 12 - 11:30 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 14 Dec 12 - 11:15 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 12 - 09:30 AM
Acme 14 Dec 12 - 12:48 AM
Amos 14 Dec 12 - 12:25 AM
Rapparee 13 Dec 12 - 11:16 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 13 Dec 12 - 07:37 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 12 - 03:06 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 13 Dec 12 - 02:55 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 12 - 10:14 AM
Acme 12 Dec 12 - 11:10 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 10:54 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 12 Dec 12 - 10:26 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 10:08 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 12 Dec 12 - 09:51 PM
Amos 12 Dec 12 - 08:22 PM
Acme 12 Dec 12 - 03:36 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 03:34 PM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 03:33 PM
Acme 12 Dec 12 - 01:19 PM
Amos 12 Dec 12 - 11:40 AM
Rapparee 12 Dec 12 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 11 Dec 12 - 10:35 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 12 - 07:20 PM
Rapparee 11 Dec 12 - 04:15 PM
Little Hawk 10 Dec 12 - 08:11 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 12 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 10 Dec 12 - 10:09 AM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 11:00 PM
Rapparee 09 Dec 12 - 09:42 PM
Rapparee 09 Dec 12 - 09:16 PM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 12 - 08:20 PM
gnu 09 Dec 12 - 07:19 PM
Amos 09 Dec 12 - 06:56 PM
gnu 09 Dec 12 - 06:17 PM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 05:36 PM
Little Hawk 09 Dec 12 - 01:12 PM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 11:08 AM
Acme 09 Dec 12 - 12:36 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 10:37 PM

Soitin'ly not!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 10:31 PM

Did you call Amos "The San Diego Bawd"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 08:58 PM

Chongo should know. I'll ask him. He said he hopes that Amos does not get eaten by a Killer Whale or a Polar Bear on this trip to Alaska. He advises staying on the boat, not falling overboard, and avoiding wilderness areas. It's touching to see how concerned he is about Amos's welfare, considering all the slights he has had to endure from the San Diego Bard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 08:26 PM

She's probably in Arizona, where Alaskans winter over if they don't go to Hawai'i. But she's probably moved there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 08:23 PM

Hasn't Sarah shaken the dust of Wasilla from her skirts yet and moved to someplace with a big television studio for all of her gusty appearances?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 07:00 PM

I wonder if he will get to visit Wasilla while he's there? Maybe get Sarah Palin's autograph?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 05:41 PM

I hope Amos gets to Unalaska and sees The Bridge To The Other Side. Especially if he gets to go in, oh, say February. On a State ferry. The Gulf of Alaska is a scenic adventure then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 04:08 PM

466566 has a certain cachet.

Amos: "Alaska!! Cruising the Inside Passage, Ketchikan, Whittier, etc."

You are making big tracks, man. Whittier is WAY up there (as far as water goes)including involving the wide and often stormy Gulf of Alaska.

Ketchikan to Whittier involves a stop in Juneau, I hope you know, so may we anticipate being graced with your presence?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 03:18 PM

Whoa da bus MOM! So, I got the truck on defrost and I am naked and the doorbell rings. I hastily get new socks and tighty whiteies on and it rings again so I return to tee and PJs and answer the door. It's a jolly very fat man with a big silver beard and he's got a Kissmeass present for me. Screw Sandy Claws... buddy is bearing a bo'le a mooze from The Granite Planet!

Come Sunday, I shall boil and cut up spuds, fry two pounds of onions, throw me bo'le mooze in and pour a (a? hahahahahaaa!) Screech n coke fer ye n me and she's never hittin a plate! We'll eat er straight from da pan.

Got's ta get me mooze b'y!

Mmmmm... some shockin good, mezon, mezon!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 02:47 PM

Good for you, Amos. On a cruise ship or taking the Alaska State Ferry System and doing something right for once?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 12:45 PM

I am hard at work, making life better for my nears and dears. Meanwhile LH is playing hand-puppet with himself again. Sigh.

Hey Mom!! I'm going to Alaska!! Cruising the Inside Passage, Ketchikan, Whittier, etc. Whoo and hoo, sez I!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 11:30 AM

Amos is making a lot of typos today, Chongo. I think that perhaps he is experiencing extreme remorse over the very insensitive things he said about you, and has taken to the bottle. I do hope he doesn't do anything rash.

As for Rap, well...rash acts are pretty much daily normality for him, so I'm not going to worry about it. He has survived thus far, I expect he'll make out okay. Librarians, after all, are tenacious creatures.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 11:15 AM

Hmmm. I get up this mornin' to see that my usual detractors, Amos and Rapparrazee, are at it again, slanderin' my name...worse than THAT, takin' my name in VAIN and utterin' what amounts to sacrilege!

The question is, what do I do about it? Should I be merciful? Spare them my divine wrath?

Or should I cast them both screamin' into the fires of Hell, there to burn in anguish for all eternity or at least until Woody Allen admits he's a whiny little putz?

Hmmm. Decisions, decisions...

I'm gonna have a drink, put my feet up on the desk, and give this some serious thought. Yessiree. It's a slow day, so this might take awhile. Don't hold yer breath while yer waitin', guys.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 09:30 AM

Poor Mom. To know that Stilly gets her two kids out of the house and takes up with two guys named Basil and Herb. Mom'll just DIE of shame, not having thought of it first.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 12:48 AM

You heard about Basil, eh? And Herb? I suppose I will run a-fowl of the law. Deliciously so . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Dec 12 - 12:25 AM

Man, I dropped by Chinga's place for a quick drink one night passing through Detroit City. You shoulda heard then names that started coming out of her mouth when Chongo was mentioned. They were the kind of words that even if he HAD been real he woulda wished he weren't. I strongly suggest, LH, that you do NTO imagine Congo or Conga or whatever is imaginary name is going into Detroit. She's likely to castrate him with his own front teet after she pulls them out of his head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 12 - 11:16 PM

You mean like the mother and sister you deserted and forced into a Life Of Shame? The only time you ever assisted anyone was to boost a drunk's watch and wallet and, while you were at it, his pants. You did indeed help a homeless fella kill off his bottle of Thunderbird once, and widows seem to like you really well when you're nowhere around. And I've spoken with the Pope (Benny's a good friend of mine) and he assures me that you will not be canonized -- ever. Truth to be told, he's thinking of declaring you the Eighth Deadly Sin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Dec 12 - 07:37 PM

I'd say the same about you...but I'm way too nice to do that. Ook! Ook! ;-D Didja know that the Holy Sisters around here say real good things about me all the time, and speak of me as "a saint"? I am known far and wide for my selfless contributions to charity, my protectin' of the weak, my metin' out of dire punishments to the wicked and cruel, and all that kinda good stuff. The main reason I ain't been canonized, in fact, is cos I wrote the Pope a pre-emptive letter askin' not to be singled out in that fashion, cos I prefer just seein' the happy smiles on the faces of the widows and the homeless I have assisted, and I am way too modest to seek personal glory in public honors.

- Chongo

p.s. This is why Amos really hates me. He knows I'm just basically a lot nicer than him. Boy, does that ever stick in his craw!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 12 - 03:06 PM

And the lowest, scummiest one I ever thought up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 13 Dec 12 - 02:55 PM

I also let you keep callin' me "Chonga", Rap, coz I am merciful, and I know it makes you happy. I could squash you like a bug and wipe out all yer seed from the Earth for callin' me "Chonga", but I don't. I gotta be about the nicest deity one could possibly ask for.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 12 - 10:14 AM

Yes, right, sure.

Just turn around while we put these cuffs on you.

    You have the right to remain silent.
    Anything you say or do may be used against you in a court of law.
    You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future.
    If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning, if you wish.
    If you decide to answer any questions now, without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney.
    Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you, are you willing to answer my questions without an attorney present?

Basil is a herb, right? And we all know about "herb." Lady, you're goin' down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 11:10 PM

I plugged an oil radiator heater into a thermal plug out in the greenhouse. It has two sockets, so on the other one I plugged in the string of LED xmas lights that I put up last year. This way if it gets cold enough that the thermal plug turns on the heater I can tell because the lights will be on.

It isn't a gro-light glow, so I don't think the sheriff will stop by to see what I'm growing out there. (Basil, broccoli and onions.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 10:54 PM

Chonga, it's me all the way down.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 10:26 PM

I just let you think that, Rap, cos I know it makes you happy. That is what a nice guy I am.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 10:08 PM

Of course I don't. I am, after all, the reason for everyone's existence. Sheesh, don't you guys EVER learn?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 09:51 PM

He's got his faults, but at least he don't go around denyin' another individual's existence. Not like some I could mention.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 08:22 PM

For a guy who is still in his first childhood, he's pretty bright, him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 03:36 PM

Good idea!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 03:34 PM

In fact, on the 24-hour clock you can claim 11/12/13 at 14:15:16.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 03:33 PM

Chin up, Stilly old girl! Pip, pip and all that! Next year you can claim 11/12/13 at 11:12:13 Zulu, AST, EST, CST, MST, PST, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 01:19 PM

You can still enjoy the 12:12:12 on 12/12/12 on the west coast. I wasn't paying attention and it went past already. I am crushed. Crushed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 11:40 AM

It's actually 12/12/2012,wise guy. It hasn't been 12/12/12 for two thousand years.

On the ACTUAL 12/12/12, the carpenter kiddy was hanging out and laying down licks on the fat cats at the money tables outside Temple. They got entirely jazzed up, and he told his Mom not to bug him on account he was doing it for Dad.

But that was long ago, very far away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Dec 12 - 09:56 AM

See, Mom? It's 12/12/12 -- triple double boxcars -- and I'm the only one who cares.

Leave me all your money and stuff, okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 12 - 10:35 PM

Or it could be the other way around. The Stoli bottle seems awfully empty for one I just opened.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 12 - 07:20 PM

Here, Mom. Have some refreshment...lemonade with just a touch of vodka.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Dec 12 - 04:15 PM

For goodness' sake, Mom! Hanging out second from the very bottom with custard apples! Have you no shame?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 12 - 08:11 PM

Yeah, that's been quite a sensation around here, Stilly. No, I don't know her. I don't think Chongo does either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 12 - 12:48 PM

It was so cold this morning up in the hills that the elk hunters all came back. They'd shoot at an elk with a bow or a rifle and the arrow or bullet would freeze in its flight. Come Spring I think I'll wait for a couple of warm weeks before hiking around, because when the thaw hits it's gonna be like a shooting gallery up there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Dec 12 - 10:09 AM

That's Chonga's latest girlfriend. He thinks she's "just as cute as a button."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 11:00 PM

LH, is this a friend of yours?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 09:42 PM

Oh, yes. It was 18F (-7.78C for you unAmericans) with a dusting of snow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 09:16 PM

Not for long, LH. Big Abner and the No. Side Apes are gonna let him experience the warm, caressing waters of Lake Michigan any day now.

"Mommy, Mommy! Amos took me swimming!"
"That's nice. Was it fun?"
"After I got out of the ropes."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 08:20 PM

It's no wonder Chongo harbours resentment against you, Amos! Don't forget: He was born in sunny equatorial Africa. Now he must cope with the windy streets of Chicago in December.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 07:19 PM

GO FISH!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 06:56 PM

You guys are kidding, right? Around the CORNER? We're suffering winter sunshine in all its full-on fury. It comes down from the skies, fills up the yards, bounces off the houses and into the streets. And COLD? Well, I swan. I had to wear a light jacket all morning!! ALL MORNING!! Can you BELIEVE that? Where's all that global warming now, wise guys? I didn't even want to go swimming today it was so frigid at the beach. I don't know what this world is coming to!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 06:17 PM

"MOM wants to know if you boys set up the bird feeders. How about the birds of prey feeders?"

Ahhh, same thing, innit?

Re winter....

Subject: RE: What's the weather like where you are?
From:gnu - PM
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 06:02 PM

45.5 down under? Well, I just rearranged the garages, placed the snowblower in my garage, serviced and gassed it, gassed the generator, put brooms and small shovels and scrapers in both weehicles, put large shovels near the doors of each garage and inside my house by the back door, bungee corded one large shovel to the railing at my back door, and parked my truck with the back of the cab in line with the front of my house.

It was clear and sunny and 4C this afternoon with a 40kph NW wind that died to nare a strip o wind two hours before dark! First NW this fall when it was less than 10C. I can smell it! New moon on the 13th... any time within the next 24 to 96 hours we will have our first "winter". It won't be bad but we will see the face of Old Man Winter. Miserable old git that he can be.

Now, I could be wrong but my old man taught me well... we'll see.

Freda... 45.5C? That is insufferable! My heart sweats for you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 05:36 PM

Around the corner on the calendar for you, around the corner on the weather forecast for us. It's cooling considerably this afternoon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 01:12 PM

It's not around the corner here. It's in plain sight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 11:08 AM

Winter is just around the corner. MOM wants to know if you boys set up the bird feeders. How about the birds of prey feeders? Anyone bring back roadkill for that platform up in the pine out back?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Dec 12 - 12:36 AM

He loves chicken strips, so that's what we made. I posted a YouTube video (not listed) with a demonstration, and we went through the tips today. I think he has this one nailed. Next we'll do chicken marsala.


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