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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 29 Jul 12 - 06:27 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 12 - 05:31 PM
Amos 29 Jul 12 - 03:31 PM
gnu 29 Jul 12 - 02:50 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 12 - 02:42 PM
Amos 29 Jul 12 - 01:04 PM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 12 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 29 Jul 12 - 09:53 AM
Little Hawk 29 Jul 12 - 01:55 AM
Amos 29 Jul 12 - 01:10 AM
Acme 28 Jul 12 - 11:38 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 12 - 11:02 PM
Amos 28 Jul 12 - 08:24 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 12 - 07:24 PM
Amos 28 Jul 12 - 07:11 PM
Rapparee 28 Jul 12 - 09:44 AM
Amos 28 Jul 12 - 02:05 AM
Amos 27 Jul 12 - 09:22 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 12 - 05:22 PM
Acme 27 Jul 12 - 03:37 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 27 Jul 12 - 03:29 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 12 - 02:08 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 27 Jul 12 - 01:49 PM
Amos 27 Jul 12 - 01:37 PM
Rapparee 27 Jul 12 - 09:26 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 12 - 08:49 PM
Amos 26 Jul 12 - 06:32 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 12 - 06:11 PM
gnu 26 Jul 12 - 03:06 PM
Rapparee 26 Jul 12 - 03:04 PM
Amos 26 Jul 12 - 11:39 AM
Amos 26 Jul 12 - 09:23 AM
Rapparee 26 Jul 12 - 09:11 AM
Amos 26 Jul 12 - 12:53 AM
Rapparee 25 Jul 12 - 09:39 PM
gnu 25 Jul 12 - 09:38 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 12 - 05:05 PM
Amos 25 Jul 12 - 02:14 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 12 - 01:57 PM
Rapparee 25 Jul 12 - 09:53 AM
Amos 25 Jul 12 - 09:46 AM
Amos 24 Jul 12 - 10:52 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 12 - 03:06 PM
Amos 24 Jul 12 - 02:42 PM
Rapparee 24 Jul 12 - 10:07 AM
Amos 24 Jul 12 - 09:25 AM
Acme 24 Jul 12 - 01:00 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 23 Jul 12 - 11:49 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 12 - 08:25 PM
Rapparee 23 Jul 12 - 07:14 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 06:27 PM

.rehtie daed on si luaP .egassem cinatas a teg ton lliw uoy sdrawkcab siht daer uoy fI


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 05:31 PM

That's exactly what Shane always says...only he adds the suffix "eh?" onto the end of it.

Sounds like it was a lovely occasion, Amos. I wish I'd been there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 03:31 PM

PErfectly right, Rapp; clearly it takes one to know one.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 02:50 PM

It's all Greek to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 02:42 PM

...Greece, where of course all Western philosophy has its roots.

Bull patooties! Them old Greeks took ideas from places like Egypt, Arabia, India, China, and even France, filed off the serial numbers, and jammed 'em all together and called it "their" philosophy. Then they made so much noise about it that people came to believe it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 01:04 PM

I think Rapp was commandeering the conversation LH was having with me, using his signature deft technique of blunt force combined with fictive narcissism.

There was a lot of conversation going on before and after the concert. I got into a long chat with the chair of the Philosophy Department, a stunningly good-looking Greek gentleman named George. Well, his name is actually Georgios Anagnostopoulos; anyway, I got to pick his brains about the decline of philosophy in western civilization.

Did you know that there is a quadri-annual convention of philosophers from all over the world, just like the Olympics? More impressive, this year's convention is being held in Greece, where of course all Western philosophy has its roots. But more impressive, did you realize this event draws fifteen thousand people as participants from all over the world? Who'd have thought there was such a community of philosophers sprinkled among our barbaric world, hiding among the heathens and the know-nothings and the grinches of modern materialism!!?? It gives hope to the weary breast, indeed it do!

The Greek government had originally committed significant assistance with funding the current year's convocation, and of course now that the economic crisis has reduced the Greek government to an international whipping boy in Oliver Twist raiments, the convention has been left in the lurch. But they are scrambling to make do and find other sources of funding.

Schick's virtuosity achieved a standing ovation. He's completely artful, selfless, engaged, present, and impassioned in his work, a joy to see in play, and self-effacing and gracious when he is not playing.

End of Report!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 12:41 PM

Actually, the enquiring minds are now sorry that they asked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 09:53 AM

Were the benches there stained with tears and perspiration?
No, they were soaked with water but dried quickly.

Were the birdies flying from tree to tree?
No. Birdies were (and are) frying as they go from tree to tree because it's so danged hot.

Was there little to say? No conversation?
Well, Poop-Eye called Too Tall a "rotted, dry-gulching, vulture-eatin', lilly-livered, kitty-kickin', unwashed son of an unwed mother labradoodle" and Too Tall replied that Poop-Eye had odd eating, hygienic and personal habits involving boogers and body lice.

Inquiring minds want to know.
Now the inquiring minds know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 01:55 AM

Were the benches there stained with tears and perspiration?

Were the birdies flying from tree to tree?

Was there little to say? No conversation?

Inquiring minds want to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jul 12 - 01:10 AM

Bit of a sticky wicket,that.

Just came back from an amazing concert by Steven Schick, who directs the La Jolla Symphony and who is possibly the world's greatest living percussionist. AN amazing performance--impassioned, rich, and executed with impeccable virtuosity on percussion instruments ranging from flower pots to tympani. Incredible. This was held at a sort of garden party in a beautiful home overlooking the Pacific from the bluffs just at the edge of the UCSD campus. The place was just frying with brilliant minds and the performance was mind-blowing. Who'd'a thunk it?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 11:38 PM

Next time you need help moving earth, just let me know. I have a dog here who is lately into digging trenches. I'm sure he could do a fine job of liberating some poor soul stuck in the encrusted mud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 11:02 PM

Ya know, just yesterday I went out to Dave's place and picked up my revolver. He'd been working on it, tuning it up you might say. What with the gunfights here every High Noon I might need it. For example, just the other day Poop-eyed Pete walked out of the PV and shot it out with Too Tall right there in the street. Bystanders ducked inside buildings or put up their umbrellas to protect themselves from the spray. The water turned the dust of the street into mud and eventually you could only tell where the two were because their hats were still afloat, so to speak. Fortunately the lava flow from the Yellowstone Caldera underlies the town so the street dried out pretty quick from the bottom up and there they stood, rising from the street like statues on an elevator. Mud dried on 'em so quick they had to be chipped out by jackhammers and the judicious use of dynamite.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 08:24 PM

No use you should pretend even knowing where it is, scumknuckle!

Ne'er the less, the 45 and five is Mine. Ands it is going straight into my retirement fund, not to some damned 501c3 for the preservation of very large numbers.


The Hero's Song

Oh forty five and five at last we meet!
We struggling mortals from the lower planes
Who over stony turns and cruel multiples
Have sought your distant flame.
Now let us spread the gladsome news
Rejoice that Mom is yet alive!
And she has blessed her sons and daughters
With this forty-five and five.
This hour has been long in coming
Nor ever shall it come again
But men may tell their children's children
Forty-five and five is claimed,
ANd it's a whole lot more than, say, ten.

Baldur Woodstock III
Historical Minstrelsy Department
University of Velleities and Misanthropic Palimpsest
Weston, Virginia, 1911


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 07:24 PM

I wouldn't THINK of demanding that we meet on the heroes' field. You know how picky those doorkeepers are and I wouldn't want you embarrassed by exclusion.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 07:11 PM

It is I, the wanderig hero come
Far from the trumps, far from the drum,
Come from the Mexican valley far
Where the streets are stone, and the roads are tar.
Come to the home of the Mother high
To claim the hero's rightful pie
The 500th post of this K I claim
In sainted Isabella's name
And let no man demand I yield
Or meet me on the hero's field.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 09:44 AM

Will you promise not to play the accordionpipes again? OR the bagordion?

I'll tell Eiseley...I'm going to the farmers' market and she pushes addictive substances there. "Here's some for free, kid...hehehe."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jul 12 - 02:05 AM

But Stilly, I DO believe you and Rapp and several others of y'all should get to the Getaway this Fall.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 09:22 PM

No worries. I yam lining up enough projects to keep me dancing into my late eighties. :D

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 05:22 PM

He won't do that. He can't count that high even with one hand.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 03:37 PM

Plunging into dishes and kitchen clutter in preparations for the weekend of canning jelly. And I made a bowl of yoghurt. I came up for air to skim the Chongo antics but I did see another reference to Amos' retirement. Amos, you'd better not be one of those folks who turns up his toes six months after he retires!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 03:29 PM

The Inn was known as the Old Dun Cow
It was a place of ill repute
Where lawless men would congregate
To count their stolen loot


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 02:08 PM

And in that curtain of moonlight
Up to the old inn door
Raparree came riding, riding,
And his butt was very sore.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 01:49 PM

The trees was standin' stark and bare
Like a drunken man in his underwear
While up above the moon did leer
Upon the heather dark and dreer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 01:37 PM

The night was dank, the weather, fell
And spirits wandewred in the dell
And scared the small birds from their trees
Where moonlight stopped their harmonies.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jul 12 - 09:26 AM

Mom! Get back up there and stop associating with those men and washing machines!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 08:49 PM

See? What did I tell you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 06:32 PM

Silly mans! That's a digital switching transformer!!

Chongo working his voodoo on Gnu


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 06:11 PM

Oh, heck. I'll just explain the schematic.

See, you got your power input. Power goes a through a line and into a squiggle thingie and out the other side, where there's a dark triangle with a heavy bar across the pointy end. Then there's a C-shape with a bar and a thing like the front of end of a music staff only there's no end of the measure and only four lines and they point down. Then there's some more of those triangle-bar thingies and some more squiggles. At one point the line goes down and there's a down-pointing triangle made of up some lines that get smaller and smaller. Anyway, there are some places where the lines make an upside-down U over other lines. And a line going up that has another triangle on it, flat side up with a line through the middle from left to right (or up and down, depending on how you're looking). In a couple of places the lines have a dot with a diagonal line coming up, a little gap, and the line continues on the other side.

That's pretty much it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 03:06 PM

"suppressing his considerable rage at Chongo"

Ya know sompn I dunno?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 03:04 PM

Yeah, they talk about me all the time. And as for not causing gnu pain, don't forget that a receiver is just a transmitter in reverse. You plugged it in backwards and the seismic theta waves (to which he is very sensitive) are causing him to endure unendurable pain. I'd sketch the schematics for you but even MOAB has imposed limitations.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 11:39 AM

ANyway, I was listening in on some communications between nucelar submarines the other day and one of them remarked, "Oh, that Rapparree guy? THinks he's so high and mighty? Yeah, just 'cause he operates above sea level, he believes he has a dry wit...whaddya gonna do, ya know whaddImean?". The other submarine just nodded. I think it was on patrol or sompn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 09:23 AM

Rapp,

I suspect the sciatica inflammation was caused by Gnu suppressing his considerable rage at Chongo. Our instruments detect signals, they don't emanate. Well, the transmitters do, but they are usually direct-connected, and given the power cubed law the emanations wouldn't even reach gnu from here.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 09:11 AM

Sure, sure. I think your not only listening in on our nuclear submarines' communication but your low frequency stuff has inflamed gnu's sciatic nerve and is causing him the unendurable pain he is enduring.

You should, at the very least, apologize for causing him unendurable pain.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jul 12 - 12:53 AM

Yeah, but those ELFs are also used in energizing buried cables so their paths can be traced. The LFs make for longer-run transmissions before the energy dissipates and less bleed through onto adjacent conductors.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 12 - 09:39 PM

8Hz. That's ELF range. You're spying on our submarines!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Jul 12 - 09:38 PM

SCIATICCA!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 12 - 05:05 PM

Ah-HA!! I see!!! You're planning to tap GSM cellular phones!!!!! (The "for example" gave you away.)

I dove into the depths of packet switching and frequency switching once when I was trying to connect bookmobiles to the servers at the main library.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 12 - 02:14 PM

There is a world of difference between frequency-skipping (used in radio links, for example, as a security measure inter alia) and mixing frequencies using local oscillators, which allows you to process the signals at a lower sample rate, and do other advantageous things with them. There is also a world of difference between two channels and two frequencies. We handle scores of frequencies ranging from 8 Hz to 500 kHz, for example, with the same instrument, many of them simultaneously such as when seeking passively for signals of opportunity within a wide band of possible frequencies.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 12 - 01:57 PM

Sorry, misread your post. I'm glad that your frequency-skipping device will use more than two frequencies. And it was June 10, 1941 when frequency-switching patent was issued.

"In the United States Hedy Lamarr and George Antheil, shunned by the Navy, no longer pursued their invention. But in 1957, the concept was taken up by engineers at the Sylvania Electronic Systems Division, in Buffalo, New York. Their arrangement, using, of course, electronics rather than piano rolls, ultimately became a basic tool for secure military communications. It was installed on ships sent to blockade Cuba in 1962, about three years after the Lamarr-Antheil patent had expired. Subsequent patents in frequency changing, which are generally unrelated to torpedo control, have referred to the Lamarr-Antheil patent as the basis of the field, and the concept lies behind the principal anti-jamming device used today, for example, in the U.S. government's Milstar defense communication satellite system."

But I'm glad you're keeping busy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jul 12 - 09:53 AM

So basically your working on the same sort of thing Hedy Lamarr created around 1943, huh? And on only two frequencies? Geez, you're behind the times. No wonder they are forcing you to retire!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jul 12 - 09:46 AM

I am at work, in an office on the second floor, contemplating a complex circuit diagram for a two-channel amplifier which cleverly mixes frequencies. I could tellyou more but I would have to kill you. So of course, I will not.

Six weeks! And then the day of passage arrives. No wakeup call or half-sleeping commute, no login to the day's efforts. No more IP, no more IT, no more SOP, no more HR, no more R&D, no more P&L. All this, swept into the hen house of history.

What lies ahead?

For starters, plowing through twenty years of backlogged writing.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 12 - 10:52 PM

I b'leeve he is escorting his daughter to her year abroad studies in Europe at the time. But I love the concept of the DARPA Bums, and think he should write a book by that name, and will tell him so. Consider the idea thoroughly stolen!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 12 - 03:06 PM

Does Spetember come just before Otcober? Isn't Getaway at the end of Spetember? Don't you think you should invite him to Getaway? We need more DARPA bums there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 12 - 02:42 PM

The waves of change are coming. I am heading for Durham at the end of Spetember. I just had an interesting talk with a friend from my childhood I haven't spoken to in thirty years, who runs MIT's office in DC, interfacing with DARPA and such like things. Amazing, the things people get upo to behind your back when you're not looking.

It seems we sang the moon up in Tivili Gardens, Copenhagen with my sister one summer evening back in 1972, an event I forgot entirely.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Jul 12 - 10:07 AM

So is Shame, no? Especially the "moron" part.

Q: Did you hear what happened to the Little Oxymoron did at Tim Hortons?
A: They kicked him out -- he was sober, clean, and had honest money!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Jul 12 - 09:25 AM

Pickled wood is kind of an oxymoron, no?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Jul 12 - 01:00 AM

Venereal termites - dangerous to wood, correct? Then Shane should have nothing to worry about. Pickled wood will kill termites.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 23 Jul 12 - 11:49 PM

Yeah, right...you go ahead and have yer stoopid fantasees, man. The real truth is that I rule and you are like last weeks' stale pizza crust that fell behind the cowch. NO one is gonna try a taste of that, eh? But me...I am a hole different story. I am the MAN arownd this town, eh? I am a legend! My name is knowed as far away as...well, places like Wawa and Elliot Lake, that's how far. (I got arrested drunk and disordairly in Wawa once, and fer borrowin' a pickup truck (just for 5 minutes!) in Elliot Lake.) I did not know that the bolthole with the pickup truck would turn out to be such a total dipwad! He called the cops on me. Unbe-flippin'-leevable! He shoulda spoke to me first and it alls woulda been okay, eh? In my own town people understand that I am the kinda guy who borrows a lotta stuff...but only when he really needs it...and only for as long as, like, totally nesissary too. So they mostly do not call the cops on me. They yewshally just call Don instead, and that is a hassle coz he thinks becoz he is the older flippin' brother that he has some kinda higher spot on the flippin' totum pole, know what I mean? That of coarse is total flippin' bullroar coz I got majer advantages in the looks department. I am not goin' BALD like Don is. I know it drives him crazy that I have all my hair and he is losin' most of his, but there is nothin' he can do abowt it. Ha! Ha! I find it hard to figger why all them girls hang arownd Don, but it is probally becoz by bein' arownd him they can be closer to ME. Yeah, that's gotta be it.

So anyway I.....uh....Flip!

...what was it were we talkin' abowt here?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 12 - 08:25 PM

In Shame's case, I think the "intimate" part applies to his relationship with beavers. I understand that he once suffered a bad case of venereal termites because of that, but the Canadian health people fixed him up with a wooden peg...soft wood.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Jul 12 - 07:14 PM

Well, he is Canadian. That all by itself causes Canuck Syndrome, recognized by psychological associations and practioners around the world as a psychosociopathic abnormalization of the mind caused by snow, cold, and living in close-to-intimate contact with beavers and hockey.


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