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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 05 Dec 11 - 03:52 PM
Rapparee 05 Dec 11 - 02:55 PM
gnu 05 Dec 11 - 02:15 PM
Amos 05 Dec 11 - 12:40 PM
Acme 05 Dec 11 - 12:39 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 05 Dec 11 - 12:27 PM
Rapparee 05 Dec 11 - 10:37 AM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 05 Dec 11 - 01:12 AM
Rapparee 04 Dec 11 - 10:52 PM
gnu 04 Dec 11 - 09:14 PM
Little Hawk 04 Dec 11 - 09:05 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 11 - 09:01 PM
Amos 04 Dec 11 - 07:05 PM
Acme 04 Dec 11 - 05:28 PM
gnu 04 Dec 11 - 05:27 PM
Amos 04 Dec 11 - 05:23 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 11 - 05:10 PM
Amos 04 Dec 11 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 11 - 02:19 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 11 - 02:15 PM
Acme 04 Dec 11 - 01:08 PM
Amos 04 Dec 11 - 12:39 PM
Amos 04 Dec 11 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 04 Dec 11 - 08:48 AM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 03 Dec 11 - 11:28 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 11 - 11:16 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 11 - 11:05 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 11 - 10:53 PM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 03 Dec 11 - 10:32 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 11 - 07:02 PM
gnu 03 Dec 11 - 05:10 PM
Amos 03 Dec 11 - 04:52 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 11 - 03:02 PM
gnu 03 Dec 11 - 02:44 PM
Amos 03 Dec 11 - 02:08 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 11 - 01:30 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 11 - 01:29 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 11 - 01:15 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 11 - 01:08 PM
Little Hawk 03 Dec 11 - 01:03 PM
Amos 03 Dec 11 - 10:46 AM
Rapparee 03 Dec 11 - 10:05 AM
GUEST,Guest from Sanity 03 Dec 11 - 04:00 AM
Acme 03 Dec 11 - 01:46 AM
Rapparee 02 Dec 11 - 11:13 PM
Little Hawk 02 Dec 11 - 09:20 PM
Amos 02 Dec 11 - 08:34 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 11 - 08:16 PM
gnu 02 Dec 11 - 06:51 PM
Little Hawk 02 Dec 11 - 06:28 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 11 - 03:52 PM

Cut it out, Shane! Enough of this "Rapparee" nonsense, I say. It's getting downright rude and offensive. Go back to stealing Don's beer and pestering the girls at Timmie's, willya?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 11 - 02:55 PM

The lumpy parts I put in the back of Shame's underwear, and he's kept them renewed all by himself! We should all be proud of the boy for that, because it took him a long time to learn how to do that. Now he's working on learning how to do "Number One."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 05 Dec 11 - 02:15 PM

King Lew would be proud.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 11 - 12:40 PM

In the hall where the mirrors rule
Nothing is straight, or plumb, or true.
Only the echoes have the floor,
Disjointed, and all askew.
Wind, dust, violate the light
And the mirrors feed on hopes of night.
No being is there but broke-dick jadrools
In the hall where the mirrors rule.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Dec 11 - 12:39 PM

It's snowing east of here today. Where did you guys leave the sled last time you used it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 05 Dec 11 - 12:27 PM

See? It is workin' great, eh? The Bolthole from Boise thinks he is from this other jerkwater place called Poclatello, but he ain't really from nowheres except from my brillyant mind, that is where! I made him what he flippin' is today! And that ain't much. Kinda like a flyspeck on a flippin' pickup trucks' windshield if ya ask me.

I am gonna write a song about him next. Wait fer it, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 11 - 10:37 AM

You're right, Shame. The "Bolthole from Boise" vanished. Sure glad I don't live there. Yup, you thought him up real good.

Now, as for you -- one day I blew my nose and when I saw what came out (all green and slimy and sort of lumpy) I thought of you and POOF! there you were. A poof, but all green and slimy and sort of lumpy...like you still are.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 05 Dec 11 - 01:12 AM

Hey, Rap? The real truth is I flippin' thoght YOU up, man. I did. I was sittin' arownd on, like, a real slow day...and I started thinkin' like who would be the dumbest possible bolthole that could ever even live? Who? And I thunk you up. It was a stroak of flippin' geenius, man! The Bolthole from Boise was flippin' born in that hystorick moment, eh?

I have been, like, playin' arownd with the idea ever since. When I get real bored or don't have nothin' else to do then I make you, my flippin' creashion, post totally stoopid stuff on the Net, eh? And the greatest part is this: You don't even flippin' KNOW that I am makin' you do it...just like the puppete master pullin' the strings, know'm sayin'? The flippin' puppet thinks HE is pullin' the strings!

I was worryin' that if I tole you this you woudl flippin' vanish or somethin', but then I reelized I could make you not beleeve it anyways, so it wouldn't matter.

Ha! Ha! Ha! The laffs just keep comin'! The Bolthole from Boise speaks and the hole flippin' world gets a laff and a haff!

Now I am gonna make you say somethin' else stoopid. Any time now. When I am ready to.

Keep watchin' for it, folks. Youse can all thank me for the flippin' ennertanement when "Rapparee" posts again, eh?

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 10:52 PM

I've been telling you and telling you -- you only exist because I thought you up.

(No need to thank me, except with massive amounts of tax-free USD.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 09:14 PM

I may have to take up smokin dope again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 09:05 PM

Everything is thought, good people. Yes, even we are thought-forms, phantasms that appear for a short while in space and time, then vanish to realms unglimpsed by those who wearily or merrily tread upon the Earth...a world which is itself an immense thought-form composed of uncountable trillions of thoughts, dreams, and celestial archetypes wrought into atomic structure.

My advice is, let your thoughts be joyful ones that illuminate and uplift, for in this way we can make of our dream a happy story, not a sad one.

***

Moving on from that, I want to let you all know that Chongo, in the spirit of good fellowship and reconciliation, has purchased one of Bobert's forthcoming CDs, and I have purchased another. I think it fine of Chongo to make such a gesture. He is a chimp with a lot of heart. It's no small thing for a naturalized American ape to overlook repeated accusations of "poopflinging"!

As for Shane, I couldn't interest him in doing the same after he found out that it's not a sex DVD with "naked babes from the States", but only a music CD. I could've lied to him about it and gotten another sale for Bobert, but that's not my way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 09:01 PM

Amos is sayin' that you did such a good job that it looks like it's been there all along.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 07:05 PM

The invisibility of completion, dear Maggie, is an inherent aspect of the beauty of the thing; the vanishment of effort brings out the mysterious depths of the Result in all its glory.
This then becomes part of the Qualitas of the space, the Whatness of the Which, the source of all comfort and pride, the definition of Mastery, or, as the case here may be, Mistressy.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 05:28 PM

Meanwhile, Little Hawk keeps his menagerie of sprites and mental floss in a hobbit house over near a peat bog.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 05:27 PM

Chemistry?.... http://www.ovguide.com/jekyll-and-hyde...-together-again-9202a8c04000641f800000000477f0d5

Good movie, as I recall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 05:23 PM

Ah, well, good Rapp, I am from a different part of the forest, where occasional glimpses of sunlight still penetrate.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 05:10 PM

It could also be because they ignore you. I had that problem when I was younger, being ignored. No one thought to ask my opinion on things, people would trip over me, use me for a cleaning rag. But I discovered that they find it hard to ignore you when you go pee-pee in their pockets. So I did. Then they wondered how their pockets got filled with pee-pee, for they still ignored me. Not knowing what else to do I took up explosives, and while they still ignored me they couldn't ignore it when the wall of the room would suddenly explode, or the toilet, or their cigar, or their new car.

Yes, chemistry changed my life. Were it not for chemistry I might still be ignored, but none now dare. Chemistry: the science of stinks, explosions, and fires. I highly recommend it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 02:47 PM

It is embarrassing that I left a copy of the earlier verse at the bottom of this one.

No-one noticed.

This is not because they pay no attention, but because they are all kind souls, infused with Greatness of Spirit, big-hearted beings who ring with Spiritual Truth and would never do anything so petty as to point out an error.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 02:19 PM

Just 49 more, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 02:15 PM

No, I finished that project. I needed something to hold my homemade fission weapon in, not a cannon. Amos, however, stumbled against my little toy while he was carrying a load of lithium VI deuteride, and the heat from my little ol' firecracker trigger a fusion reaction in the LiD, and, well, Amos hadn't set up the takamak yet, and suddenly we had created a place called "Los Llanos Estacados." The radiation will die down to a habitable level in less than thousand or so years, so it wasn't any big deal. Besides, nobody was hurt and nobody called the cops and we also were out of town and have alibis besides.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 01:08 PM

Stilly has been busy finishing putting tile on her hall floors, and smearing on the grout. And you know what happens when you finish the job? NO ONE NOTICES! That's right, because the thing about home improvement is that when it is improved it vanishes. Yet how conspicuous it is when it sits there in plain sight, incomplete. MOM sez this reminds her of some of the projects you boys started down in the basement and never finished. I think Rap was building his own cannon cradle and Amos was fooling with nuclear fusion. She stubs her toes on those things any time she heads down to the root cellar for potatoes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 12:39 PM

Well the sun rose up in the morning sky
Like the dawn of the start of Spring,
And the ice fell away from the spars and the stays
And we felt like rolling kings!
We had earned our time, we had paid our dues
On that high and murd'rous sea;
And we laughed as we passed nine and forty-six
On the way to Forty Three!

On the long sea road, with a BS load
Such merry souls were we,
As the main yards groaned midst the holy stones,
On the way to Forty-Three!


Sure we all felt blessed, but there's never a rest
For a hand before the wind
And we reef and hauled when the Boss Mom called
And we climbed, and slacked, and trimmed.
And the prow went low as the sea below
Rose up to embrace the skies
But kept all sail for we dared not fail
Make our goal, our port, and our prize.

And the rise and the fall, and the lookout's call
Makes a wearying kind of time
And its many a sailor on such pursuits
Gives o'er to the depths of his mind.
So while Stilly steered true, the Hawk felt blue
And told long and rambling tales
And she dipped her lee as the Rapparree
Proposed we should shoot at whales.

As the dawn came light and we fled the night
Then the ice began to thaw,
And we knew we were past the reach of death,
And beyond all human Law
And we had only Mom to answer to
As four bells began to chime,
When a cable off of the starboard bow
Passed the Forty-Two and Nine.


On the long sea road, with a BS load
Such merry souls were we,
As the main yards groaned midst the holy stones,
On the way to Forty-Three!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 12:19 PM

Well, that's good news. One well placed tactical nuclear device and we will have eradicated the source of shame in the world. Then we can track down the origin points of Blame and Regret, and turn them into parking lots, as well. The world will be a better place for our efforts, and many human neuroses will vanish from the ken of man much to our planetary benefit. Definitely an attractive risk/benefit ratio there.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Dec 11 - 08:48 AM

Blind River is the source of Shame.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 11:28 PM

Blind River???? Doesn't that flow from the Flogged Dolphin Peninsula?

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 11:16 PM

It was sorta like that, only not quite so rustic. This is Orillia, eh? ;-D Now, if it had been Blind River...well...that would be a different story!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 11:05 PM

Swing yer partner, dosey doe,
Toss her up and let 'er go
Catch 'er afore'n she comes down
Catch 'er 'fore she hits the ground.
Now allemand left and sashay right
Tell yer partner he's a fright
Scares the chickens off the roost
Kick him in the crotch for an added boost
Step on her toes and you're gonna bawl
Now all sit down 'cause that is all.

Square dancing like that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 10:53 PM

Righto. I'll look into it. I'll try contacting you next week sometime. I'm kinda busy for the rest of the weekend. Just got back from playing guitar with a square dancing group (centered on fiddle music). A lively night! This was a whole new experience for me, and good practice.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 10:32 PM

Little Hawk: "GfS - I can't remember what the heck happened, but I don't think I succeeded in opening them. What I'd like to do at some point is send you a copy of my CD."

I'd be honored!
I guess I'll have to do the same.
The ones I sent you are older....but pretty damn good. They were for a film soundtrack.
Perhaps, you can see if a friend, who is more knowledgeable, in such matters, see if he/she can open them.
One of them you can even do, in your repertoire.

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 07:02 PM

The barber shaves every man in town who doesn't shave himself, and beards are forbidden.

(The answer is to watch the barber and see what he does.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 05:10 PM

I wouldn't be shaved by a barber that wouldn't shave himself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 04:52 PM

On the other hand, if you had enough additional data, you could work it out, if you cared. There is no principle that the barber cannot shave himself.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 03:02 PM

Logic is useful, but a poor crutch. It will not tell you, for instance, who shaves the barber.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 02:44 PM

Data'd be right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 02:08 PM

Conundrums only rampage when they are starving for a healthy supply of additional data.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 01:30 PM

I see. Okay, I'll call you up the next time I am faced with a rampaging conundrum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 01:29 PM

Oh, those. They're part of the improbable. If it's incomprehensible it's self-evidently true or false, because I can comprehend everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 01:15 PM

What about the implausible and the incomprehensible?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 01:08 PM

Amos, the improbable I can believe immediately; the impossible takes a little longer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 01:03 PM

Like my belief that 4 years of Chongo in the White House is all that's needed to "straighten out" the USA... ;-)

GfS - I can't remember what the heck happened, but I don't think I succeeded in opening them. What I'd like to do at some point is send you a copy of my CD.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 10:46 AM

To believe the improbable is a tough art indeed, Bookmanne, but therein lies genius and the changing of worlds.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 10:05 AM

I do not rule out any probability. I want reasonable certainty before stating it as true. What I personally believe is another matter entirely and not necessarily stated anywhere, for I can believe something is true but find it both improbable and uncertain: did I dream it or was it real? and is there a difference?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 04:00 AM

Little Hawk, have you tried opening the music files with any success, yet?

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Dec 11 - 01:46 AM

I agree with Little Hawk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 11 - 11:13 PM

Weelll, I just happen to be doing up a program for the Continuing Ed at the local University on "Printing and the Reformation." Seems like there was the "Silk Road" as early as 100 BCE, and it had a corresponding water route -- around India and Arabia, up the Red Sea to Alexandria and then out over the Med.

I can't speak for anybody else's ancestors, but mine weren't stupid. They could figger things out, like how to get from place to place. Shucks, any globe has lots of answers and when you couple that with the stuff in the sky...heck's fire, you can get 'most anywhere. Sailing? Hug the coastline and see where you end up. Peek at the globe from the North Pole down and note how the land lays, then consider how it would look if more water was locked up in ice.

The first people out don't have a map, they make them. Then the rest can follow.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Dec 11 - 09:20 PM

I wasn't suggesting you worry about it, Rap. Worrying is a waste of mental energy.

But it's an interesting subject, eh?

The Chinese did indeed build VERY large ships in medieval (or post-medieval?) times, as Amos mentions, and it appears that they traveled as far as Africa, India and the western coasts of North America at one point, seeking trade in all probability. It seems that they did not attempt to colonize or settle those areas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 11 - 08:34 PM

There are other reasons for sifting through bodies of data than whether or not you can do something about them.

Those mastodons had --as I recall--fresh daisies in their upper stomachs, meaning the air cover had been ripped off the planet in milliseconds, or some other flash-freeze event had occurred.

Gawd knows what it was.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 11 - 08:16 PM

I have no doubt at all that people other than Europeans visited the Americas prior to...what? After all, folks came here during the last Ice Age from somewhere. I see no objection to the theories that there was a land bridge from Asia, or that some crossed by land and water from Northern Europe. It is also obvious from recent archeological discoveries in South America that there was coastal "boating." As for our ancestors' abilities, the islands of Polynesia weren't settled by land bridges!

But to say, "The Chinese did this" or "Space aliens helped with that" -- well, I take a skeptic's "show me" attitude.

Did the poles shift in the past? Certainly. Will they shift again? Most likely. Can I or anyone else do anything about it? No. If mankind becomes extinct, will the planet go on? Yes. Ergo, I can't be worried about polar shift, the Mayan calendar, the Yellowstone caldera, asteroid hits, and things like those. I'll worry about things I can do something about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Dec 11 - 06:51 PM

Perhaps they were slow chewers. One scenario among many.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Dec 11 - 06:28 PM

Fascinating stuff, Amos!

I will further add to it that all those areas were likely discovered and mapped in a much earlier time, perhaps as long as 15,000 or 20,000 years ago, by an advanced civilization whose remnants can still be seen in Egypt, South America, and Central America.

That civilization was probably destroyed by a planetary cataclysm around 15,000 years ago which caused immense inundations, and it may have resulted from a shift of the planet's crust over the molten core due to a shift in the Earth's axis at that time.

Look up some stuff on the Piri Reis map that shows a projection of Africa, South America, and the Antarctic continent which was apparently free of its present ice cap at the time...due to the fact that that continent was positioned farther north at the time and had a temperate climate.

Everything on this planet was discovered, in my opinion, long before our historical civilizations of the past 4000-6000 years. Columbus and the Chinese and various others were re-discovering what had been lost and forgotten after the last major planetary change.

And we may be headed for another one of a similar sort...an axis shift which moves the poles to radically new positions. But I have no way of being sure about that. Matter of fact, I hope it doesn't happen! Most of us probably won't survive it if it does.

Again...that would depend on how fast it were to happen.

Remember the mastodons which were have been found in Russian permafrost, apparently quick-frozen in some ancient time while standing there and chewing food in their mouths? That suggests a very sudden ocurrence.


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