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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 30 Oct 11 - 06:42 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 11 - 01:52 PM
Acme 30 Oct 11 - 01:18 PM
Rapparee 30 Oct 11 - 09:43 AM
Eiseley 29 Oct 11 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 29 Oct 11 - 09:18 PM
gnu 29 Oct 11 - 01:48 PM
Acme 29 Oct 11 - 01:38 PM
Amos 29 Oct 11 - 11:55 AM
Little Hawk 29 Oct 11 - 11:28 AM
Rapparee 29 Oct 11 - 10:48 AM
Amos 29 Oct 11 - 09:52 AM
Acme 28 Oct 11 - 04:39 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 11 - 04:37 PM
Amos 28 Oct 11 - 04:02 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 11 - 03:41 PM
Amos 28 Oct 11 - 03:27 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 11 - 02:38 PM
gnu 28 Oct 11 - 02:30 PM
Rapparee 28 Oct 11 - 01:47 PM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 11 - 12:51 PM
Amos 28 Oct 11 - 11:43 AM
Acme 28 Oct 11 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 28 Oct 11 - 09:51 AM
Amos 28 Oct 11 - 09:13 AM
Little Hawk 28 Oct 11 - 12:53 AM
Rapparee 27 Oct 11 - 09:49 PM
Amos 27 Oct 11 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 11 - 09:31 PM
Rapparee 27 Oct 11 - 09:30 PM
Acme 27 Oct 11 - 08:52 PM
gnu 27 Oct 11 - 07:17 PM
Amos 27 Oct 11 - 06:46 PM
gnu 27 Oct 11 - 04:10 PM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 11 - 03:27 PM
Amos 27 Oct 11 - 03:25 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 27 Oct 11 - 03:20 PM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 11 - 03:17 PM
Amos 27 Oct 11 - 03:17 PM
gnu 27 Oct 11 - 02:36 PM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 11 - 02:05 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 27 Oct 11 - 01:52 PM
Amos 27 Oct 11 - 01:27 PM
Little Hawk 27 Oct 11 - 01:09 PM
GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River 27 Oct 11 - 12:51 PM
Amos 27 Oct 11 - 10:29 AM
Acme 26 Oct 11 - 09:48 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 11 - 09:30 PM
Rapparee 26 Oct 11 - 09:19 PM
gnu 26 Oct 11 - 08:21 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 06:42 PM

I am slowly descending from a state of musical atari or ascendance or somerthing. Peter and I spent the morning doing free-form improv in various keys, and laid down some tracks in Garageband to play with, which was a complete gas. He is delightful, and I am heartwarmed to have made his friendship. We had a grand jam until the late hours last night, and good food and company all evening long. I just wish y'all could have come, even Little Hawk, 'cuz we didn't have anyone on the bongos and Chongo would have been a natural.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 01:52 PM

Nah, we missed the truck but you should have the look on that driver's face! (Probably shouldn't have been hauling blasting powder up to his mine with both caps and kids in the car.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 01:18 PM

So you two are posting from the beyond? Good trick!

I grated the very large zucchini from a co-worker's garden on a low-tech box grater, same one I use for mozzarella cheese and carrots if I'm grating them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 09:43 AM

My new Lamborghini. We reached 220 mph before Eiseley screamed that we should slow down -- something about a hairpin turn and a canyon 200 feet deep or something. Her statement was lost in the screeching of the brakes and the explosion of that pickup truck with the kids in it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 29 Oct 11 - 09:47 PM

You may be familiar with John Adams' fine piece, Short Ride in a Fast Machine, well, this afternoon Rapparee took me on a very nice Long Ride in a Fast, New, Wine-Colored Machine. Thank you, Rapparee, I had a wonderful time!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 11 - 09:18 PM

Did you cut up the zucchini before you put them in the shredder or just shove 'em as God made 'em?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Oct 11 - 01:48 PM

7C with blue sky save the odd wispy mare's tails and mackerels and nare a strip o wind. Noreaster comin in Ma... rain mixed with snow early in the morn and then heavy rain an wind gusting to 80kph. I can smell it.

Apparently, so can Environment Canada's Weather Service.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Oct 11 - 01:38 PM

I shredded 2 zucchinis an made bread, but forgot to add the vanilla. Damn. It'll still be good, but not as good (I did use butter, which pushes it way up the delicious scale). Too bad you're out there in San Diego, Amos, or you could have some for your get together.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 11 - 11:55 AM

Once again, Little Hawk and Rapp combine their talents to litter the sacred dusty halls of MOAB with calumny, falsehood, and recalcitrant perversity of spirit. 'T was ever thus, alas.

I have THREE pumpkins to carve this day, and a summer sausage and bread to prepare, and a table of delights to lay out for my guests this evening who will gather with bass, guitar, banjo and mandolin to celebrate the company of said Stampfel. I have no time for the querulous quibbling of quiescent quislings.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Oct 11 - 11:28 AM

What he should be doing is rewriting his novel to include a talking chimp character who saves the day at the climax.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 11 - 10:48 AM

I don't think Mom would like you playing all night, or even part of the night, when you should be inside doing your homework. Your arithmetic grades are terrible!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Oct 11 - 09:52 AM

I spoke to Peter Stampfel last night on the phone. He is coming by this afternoon and will play into the night. This sounds promising!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 04:39 PM

Or really really good memories.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 04:37 PM

Consistency is only fit for small minds.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 04:02 PM

With all that condescension, I am surprised you do not fall off or bang your puir haid on sompn, Rapp. First you say anyone can do it then you say you have to learn from a remote tribe of experts. Please, hire an editor.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 03:41 PM

Those who think they can paddle a kayak also think they are qualified to pilot a steamboat or barge up the Mississippi to Minneapolis. As for launching a kayak in the surf,learn from the Aleuts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 03:27 PM

The art is not in the paddling, sirrah, but in the managing of it, especially through surf and swell.

As for Chongo, I disdain to grace his imaginary aspiration with the dignity of a reply.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 02:38 PM

Any chump body can paddle a kayak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 02:30 PM

There is currently an advert displayed herein with a pic of a chimp with a guitar and the caption is, "Anyone can play a guitar."

But can a chimp paddle a kayak with a guitar?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 01:47 PM

...cost more than the whole kayak and everything in it...

That, then, must include Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 12:51 PM

Such as the notion that an African-born ape doesn't have the right to run for president of the USA...when he is ably qualified in every way for the job, and loves his country.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 11:43 AM

Between one thing and another and another and another and another , no. I will deign to overlook your blatant heresy, madam, because I am a gentleman. That guitar cost more than the whole kayak and everything in it, and some notions are so deeply blasphemous they should not even be whispered.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 10:40 AM

Sorry to change the subject, but MOM wants to know if Amos is taking the kayak out any more these days? Maybe that the new guitar and use it as a paddle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 09:51 AM

Gee, in the past I was told I was all yap.

And yet, every day when I arise, I give thanks for two things:

1. I don't live in SoCal
2. I'm not Shame McBride.

The reasons for both should be obvious.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 09:13 AM

Huh. THere'd be nothing left!! He's ALL gap!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 12:53 AM

You should pass off your credibility gap to him as well, Rap! Don't miss the chance while it's there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 09:49 PM

Okay, thanks. My load of crushing debt is now yours.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 09:47 PM

Nay, sirrah, go to! I shall relieve you of your burden!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 09:31 PM

What the hell...? Shall I?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 09:30 PM

I figure it's either you or it's Rapparee.

Don't include me in with Amos! I've been at physical therapy today, among other things, and it has been quite a busy day. Been helping my wife learn Power Point for a program she's doing on Nov. 4, had a writing class, and such stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 08:52 PM

The Three Faces of Steve going on here this evening.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 07:17 PM

Lucky Pete's burnt down... grease fire. Now he sells just the holes and I hear he ain't doin well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 06:46 PM

You guys need to go back to Lucky Pierre's doughnut shop and throw back a few whole-grain sliders, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 04:10 PM

Dale here... LH... well fuck yeah. It don't take a Yellah Stripe to clue that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 03:27 PM

Like Tourette's Syndrome, eh?

Okay, either we have a vile imposter here who is stealing Shane's identity and ruining all the hard years of work he put in becoming the biggest and most offensive dork in North Ontario....or...Shane is experiencing a malady that causes him to behave politely and decently at times and to demonstrate intelligence and responsibilty!

If so, let us hope a cure can be found. And soon. This sort of thing should simply not happen to a Blind River boy, specially a McBride!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 03:25 PM

THis is really a delight of Shakespearean proportion. The twin soul denying his provenance, the split personality energetically nullifying its other half, the schizoid antagonized against himself!   Verily herein lies a plot worthy of the Master himself, if couched in leaden lines and denser thought.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 03:20 PM

I apologise. I'm still experiencing psychological problems from my earlier days, and it appears that I slipped back into my old self. It really is a problem for me and it happens at the most inappropriate times. The psychologists tell me that it will eventually fade away, but please bear with me until it does. Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 03:17 PM

Would you not agree, Dale, that it's extremely unlikely Shane would turn to the Lord and repudiate his former lifestyle?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 03:17 PM

Little Hawk, you are a feather-tongued lackey of incarnate miscrance and incorrigible knavery in all dimensions. THat much is establishned long since.

Since both you and your puppet character assert, as though with one voice (Mirabile dictu!) that the "Saved and Contrite" version of BDiBR is a fradulent forgery, I am willing to believe you. I am sorry I was lured into enlightening a false being about your dubious practices.

Cast your suspicions where you will, I am not the perpetrator of this forgery--I plead guilty only to exacerbating the confuision sown by it in my lengthy and revelatory reply. I think the answer to your quest lies in Pocatello, for therein dwells the apex and epitome of all guile and deceits, the smooth-tongued and facile-fingered BooqueManne.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 02:36 PM

It waddn't me. Even my aliai are real people though the words I give them are mine.

Dale on gnu's computer (he musta went for a walk on accounta his truck is here but he ain't.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 02:05 PM

Man, Amos, there are times when I only wish I had YOUR imagination! LOL! And your command of ponderous sesquipedalia, but that's another matter...

You think I'm the one who is leading Shane to this supposed moral resurrection in the bosom of the Lord? Go to, sir! I think you should realize that any nefarious individual on this forum who wants to can impersonate Shane quite easily. And they do! Or at least...one of them does. I figure it's either you or it's Rapparee. Whichever one of you heartless wretches it is, I earnestly hope that he will presently experience contrition, deep shame and regret...regret that will cause him to confess to his appropriation of poor Shane's name, and to publicly apologize to the entire community for egregiously invading the sanctity of another man(?)'s identity merely for the mundane purposes of his own idle amusement.

I swan! I goose! I gander! I duck! But I do not experience egret, because my heart is pure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 01:52 PM

I hearn a rumer that some fliphead out there is inpersonaitin' me on Mudcat again! When I find out who it is he is gonna DIE! Not only that. He is makin' me look like some kinda sad wimp that flippin' got "saved" by Jesus or somethin'! There ain't no fate crool enuff for somebuddy who would do that to me in my own name, eh? I got a repitation to maintane in this town. NOBODY takes my name in vane! This idiot who is pretendin' to be ME is gonna pay BIGTIME. I will hunt him down like a dog and bust his ugly face.

You now what this is? It's flippin' indemnity theft!!!

- Shane


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 01:27 PM

BDIBR I have some bad news which will change your life forever. You are proud of your determined march away from a life of corruption and addiction, and normally, you should be.

But you deserve to be told the truth. You are a puppet, operated by a man named George. His thoughts define what you think, his feelings mold what you feel, and he alone determines what you decide.

This man named George, furthermore, is devious. He has used you to his own ends. By sending you through the awful trials of addiction and resurrection and rehabilitation, leading you to find the Lord as a path to a better way of life, he has expiated his won guilt, but without having to give up any of his own carnal pleasures such as whiskey, wild women, and song. Your sufferings have covered his sins for him. Thus, the terrible power of the Man of Figments, the Dark Puppetmaster of Oswego, the Manitoban Manipulator. He goes by many names, but hislegacy is always the same--degradation and shame to those who discover they have been mere trifles in his hellacious imaginings.

I am sorry to have to be the one to break this news to you, but a little research on your part will readily prove it out. At that point, once you recover from the shock, you may have to make up your own mind as to what you wish to do about this heinous and blasphemous charade which the man called George has perpetrated against your heart, mind, and reputation in the world.

The man called George believes that people like you are merely imaginary shadows, which he may command and undo at his impulse. Your case may be fortified if you print out all posts to this forum by an alias known as Little Hawk, who is also known as the man called George. Yes, his identity has been discovered--they are one and the same. So you now know, at least, toward whom your wrath should be directed, should you so choose.

Good luck in your quest for self-respect and the restoration of your dignity.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 01:09 PM

Oh, for God's sake... (shaking my head and laughing at the same time)

Here we go again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 12:51 PM

Hello, everyone. It's been some time since I posted here, but now I'm out of rehabilitation and I want everyone to know that I've been sober for for over a month. I have a job now working at Canadian Tire and I'm enrolled in a vocational program. As part of my "rehab" I am repaying my brother Don for all of the grief I have caused him, and I hope eventually to make him (and Officer Dana!) proud of me.

Please remember me in your prayers. I need to be strong and my strength is now in the Lord. Thank you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 10:29 AM

You better warn 'er brothers.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 09:48 PM

Looney Tunes here this evening.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 09:30 PM

They breached the Condit Dam in Washington state today.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 09:19 PM

Bring Sev on! Egg him on! It's about time he roosted here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 08:21 PM

Oh, flock off or I'll have Severn clip all your feathers. Time to punt if you can't make a first down.


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