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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 31 Dec 10 - 10:03 AM
Rapparee 30 Dec 10 - 11:43 PM
Acme 30 Dec 10 - 08:54 PM
Little Hawk 30 Dec 10 - 07:47 PM
gnu 30 Dec 10 - 07:13 PM
Amos 30 Dec 10 - 07:01 PM
Rapparee 30 Dec 10 - 06:48 PM
Amos 30 Dec 10 - 06:12 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 30 Dec 10 - 05:42 PM
Amos 30 Dec 10 - 01:48 PM
Little Hawk 30 Dec 10 - 11:58 AM
GUEST,Eiseley 30 Dec 10 - 11:38 AM
Amos 29 Dec 10 - 11:00 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:51 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:47 PM
gnu 29 Dec 10 - 08:46 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 10 - 08:44 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:43 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:43 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:42 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:42 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:40 PM
Amos 29 Dec 10 - 08:38 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 08:37 PM
Amos 29 Dec 10 - 07:26 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 07:16 PM
Rapparee 29 Dec 10 - 06:58 PM
Acme 29 Dec 10 - 06:11 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 10 - 04:10 PM
gnu 29 Dec 10 - 04:06 PM
Amos 29 Dec 10 - 03:58 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 10 - 03:42 PM
gnu 29 Dec 10 - 02:31 PM
Amos 29 Dec 10 - 01:01 PM
Little Hawk 29 Dec 10 - 02:35 AM
Amos 29 Dec 10 - 01:40 AM
Eiseley 28 Dec 10 - 08:15 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Dec 10 - 08:11 PM
Rapparee 28 Dec 10 - 07:27 PM
Amos 28 Dec 10 - 03:55 PM
Eiseley 28 Dec 10 - 03:51 PM
Amos 28 Dec 10 - 03:48 PM
Little Hawk 28 Dec 10 - 11:51 AM
Rapparee 28 Dec 10 - 09:36 AM
Amos 28 Dec 10 - 09:24 AM
Acme 28 Dec 10 - 12:46 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 27 Dec 10 - 11:40 PM
Amos 27 Dec 10 - 11:14 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 27 Dec 10 - 10:58 PM
Rapparee 27 Dec 10 - 09:19 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Dec 10 - 10:03 AM

Good morning, Mom! I see you're awake and I hope you had a lovely evening of gentle, peaceful, sleep. Eiseley will be fixing breakfast for you and I've brought a a pot of that Jamaica Blue Mountain coffee you like so much. Amos and LH finally did get home and no, they didn't get arrested. Stilly washed their clothes, which, as you feared, reeked of cheap liquor and worse. The boys are in their rooms now, sleeping it off. I don't know WHAT they'll do tonight, on New Year's Eve, but we can probably raise bail if we need too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 11:43 PM

Senor Shatner is quite busy at the moment, on a special "black ops" mission for a Canadian Government Ministry that is so secret that to utter its name is cause for assassination. I assume that this makes preparing the budget quite difficult, but that's the Official Secret Secrets Act for you. I know this through my connections here in Washington who learned it from their counterparts in Ottawa who, as usual, are acting under orders from Washington, who are doing the. bidding of the Great Manatee and the rest of the Luxemburger Illuminati. The only suggestion I can give you is to stockpile boiled peanuts, yttrium, and magnolia blossoms for the coming debacle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 08:54 PM

The cartoonist Tom Tomorrow tweeted about this interview yesterday. He said

Heard great interview w/ @williamshatner on @OnPointRadio yesterday. A creative dynamo at 79YO--there are worse role models.

link


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 07:47 PM

Not many people get personal offers of counseling from Mr Shatner, Amos. I think you should jump at the opportunity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 07:13 PM

Know? Who knows?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 07:01 PM

How do you know that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 06:48 PM

You still haven't heard from me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 06:12 PM

Bill:

Well, you always did have a tin ear, and never were much for nuances, but maybe a fundamental sense of grammar would help realize who that ad was for. If not, perhaps Shane would be willing to offer tutoring.
Besides, my head is normal-sized. I bety you could get a real discount on the tutoring with your negotiating skills--you're so good at bullying desk clerks and such.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 05:42 PM

You're not thinking of ending it all, are you, Amos? Get a grip, mister, it's not that bad! I know we all face that dark night of the soul on occasion, like the fallow years I faced around the time the original Star Trek show wrapped up. I had some low moments, I can tell you. T.J. Hooker sucked! And, boy, did I know it. But I always kept in mind the as yet uncharted possibilities of life....the poss-i-BIL-ities, Amos! And it never took me long to pick myself up again and renew my faith and confidence.

What I advise you to do is reconsider your whole position now and not do anything hasty. There is no need for you to be talking about coffins, my good man. Why, your best years may yet lie ahead of you. Keep that in mind. Twitter me if you experience any more of those self-destructive thoughts, okay?

And you can call me "Bill".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 01:48 PM

"Wanted: one over-size coffin suitable for man with large head. Must be in good condition, pretentious and ornate, substance secondary."




There, now he can appear.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 11:58 AM

Shatner won't show up unless he is in the ads.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Eiseley
Date: 30 Dec 10 - 11:38 AM

Yay for Stilly! In lieu of a tangible prize, I will send her a virtual visit from Gluon's young pup that has been living with me for about nine months now. She is a sweet dogling and is completely housebroken. Also, I hereby throw a virtual snowball at Rapaire because even though there is about a foot of the white stuff here in SLC, I don't think even my 14-year-old's arm is good enough to lob it all the way back East.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 11:00 PM

It sure ain't a Mac...


A

Oh, Mom, I decided to be forward-looking for a change and downloaded a virus/malwar antivirus software package and ran it.

Not a cough in a carload.

May it ever be so.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:51 PM

Maybe it's allspice? Something cinnamon-like?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:47 PM

What is really irksome is that one huge drag on loading is all of these ads. You can see the page, kind of, but there is a little script at the bottom telling you that it's held hostage for some ad page that is slow to load.

Shatner knows better than to appear under such circumstances, apparently.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:46 PM

COLGATE! THERE IT IS! I just made the connection.

Pro Health, to be exact. Whatever they put in that is the spice I tasted in SiL's turkey stew. It tasted okay when it was fresh and hot but I got some to take home. After a day in the fridge... yecccchhhh. I am not shittin. I wonder just what it is. I am "spiceless". I use onions, pepper... the wildest I get is soya sauce and that's ONLY when rice is involved.

Even summer savory is kept to a pinch in my stews.

Whatever it is, it should not be in stew or soup.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:44 PM

Hmmm. No Shatner. Perhaps the Great Man will grace us when 40,000 rolls around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:43 PM

Maybe.

39000


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:43 PM

Hmmmm. That was a little quicker. Maybe Bill Gates knows he's on the spot?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:42 PM

AND THIS one to open.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:42 PM

Why, I've just been sitting here since that last post, waiting for this window to open.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:40 PM

My computer is running slow, pages take forever to load. On this new hot rod, they should appear in a jiffy. I'd hate to try some multi-window stunt just to have it bog down. Been removing possible culprits, but it would be embarrassing to have stanzas of a poem appear in the wrong order, or disappear altogether.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:38 PM

If you want ticklery, cutlery, slappery
Then go out walking with old Mister Rapparee.
If you want fantasies, Dylan and gawking,
Then choose to spend your time mooning and Hawking!
If you like country life, cawing and mooing
You might be happier up north a-Gnuing.
If learned and yearning for wisdom unaging
Go to the southwest for some Stilly Saging!
But if you want whining, or rumors to tell,
Forget the BeeDubya and go straight to Ell.
And you want tomes told and guidance most wisely
Turn to the north for a session with Eiseley!


Gladstone Myrtle Dupree III
Reveries on Reverence
Punkin da Runcible Press, Halifax 1918


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 08:37 PM

I prefer Colgate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 07:26 PM

And patting himself on his Little Round Top...

We will crest the wave in eight more posts...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 07:16 PM

Yes we have. You're hanging out with Pickett et al, aren't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 06:58 PM

You haven't heard from me today, either.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 06:11 PM

He's as good as a member, he's posted enough. Haven't heard from him lately, though, have we?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 04:10 PM

And why would he want to be a member here?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 04:06 PM

You member?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 03:58 PM

Shatner is not a member here; arguably he is a member everywhere else, at least from the neck up.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 03:42 PM

I can't really see the point in anyone except William Shatner grabbing that particular post. In his case, it would render the moment significant, memorable, and meaningful. In the case of others? I think not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 02:31 PM

I expect there will be more than one Catter looking to steal 39K. I know of one rogue, a non-Mom'er, who may attempt it, simply to thwart another of like ilk. Personally, I don't see the value in it unless there is a tangible prize.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 01:01 PM

You could walk every square mile of the state of Pennsylvania and never arrive at intercourse, LH. But that is no big deal. Despite all the advertising it is not the summum bonum of existence. It's good, though...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 02:35 AM

It prompts the question, "Where can I find Intercourse?"

Or you could approach the attractive bus ticket vendor at the ticket booth and say, "How much for Intercourse?" ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Dec 10 - 01:40 AM

I would say Gettysburg for the gumption, Boston for the attitude, and Intercourse for the company...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 28 Dec 10 - 08:15 PM

Hey, Gettysburg is fairly close to the thriving micro-opolis of Intercourse, PA, where my oldest son got a very interesting t-shirt last spring break. I couldn't tell if Gettysburg, Boston, New York, or that little crossroads was his favorite.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Dec 10 - 08:11 PM

Chongo, I related your message to Bubba and Kenny. They said they'd love to come play guns with you, but not right now. They're Floribama boys, you see, and they're a bit averse to a wintertime visit to Chicago. To quote Kenny, "I ain't gonna freeze my ass off just fer a chance t' shoot some fleabitten monkey."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 10 - 07:27 PM

I am in Gettysburg, PA (where the battle was...July, 1863...remember?). Among the things coming in 2011 is (I am NOT kidding!) "Battlecry - Gettysburg: the Musical".

-------------------
General Lee: General Pickett, gather your division for another attack!.

General Pickett (singing):

Yes, I have no division!
I have no division to lead!
I have stragglers, wounded, and dying,
But I have no division to lead!
--------------------

Even I'm not that much of a sick-o.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 10 - 03:55 PM

Darn it, MS Eiseley, that makes TWO custodians you have burned out in the last year. You just gotta quit raisin' so much dust, gal!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 28 Dec 10 - 03:51 PM

Hallo Folks!

I just walked downstairs from the staff room where we said good-bye to the finest custodian who ever walked the halls. Dear Jolene is retiring on Friday after 28 years of stellar service.

She had to wear hip waders to work several times so she could shovel the BS out the director's office, as she was telling me just the other day.

Oh, I will miss her so much!

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 10 - 03:48 PM

I don't usualy feel the need to defend myself from anemic warped badly-drawn caretoons, especially imaginary ones...

Rapaire, I think your dictionary is a few hundfred years out of currency.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 10 - 11:51 AM

I'm glad to see you didn't flip into a defensive frenzy over Chongo's latest comments, Amos. That shows good poise on your part.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Dec 10 - 09:36 AM

"Madam, you smell. I stink." -- Samuel Johnson


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Dec 10 - 09:24 AM

PIsh tush. I wore Old Spice from my earliest years as a shaver. But I don't wear aftershave now. Just soap and water. Every single morning. A relatively kempt look, if you will. So your scurrilous simian innuendoes can go beg for breakfast, Hawkster. I smell great.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Dec 10 - 12:46 AM

It's just the Old Spice that Amos has been wearing ever since those commercials came out.

"Look at your man. Now back to me. Back at your man. Now back to me."

Trouble is, he gets in trouble when he gets to the "I'm on a horse" part.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Dec 10 - 11:40 PM

Yer the one who needs to improve his personal hygeine, Amos. I been hearin' through the "grapevine" that Chinga is pretty apalled at yer lack of cleanliness, and she is thinkin' of doublin' her usual fee on yer next Mexican jaunt so's you get the idea and clean up yer "act"...if ya know what I mean. I am puttin' it delicately, bein' as how this here is a family forum.

I got nothin' against cross-species involvements, you know that...I am open-minded...but have a little class, willya? Geez.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 10 - 11:14 PM

They'll probably smell you about the same time, Chongo, old bean. Unless you ...hmmmmfffhahaha.... bathe first.A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Dec 10 - 10:58 PM

You send Kenny and Bubba right on up here, Bee-dub. I look forward to meetin' 'em, greetin' 'em (in my own way), and plantin' 'em.   In that order. Things have been kinda dull around here lately, and I am itchin' for some action.

I am sure I will smell them two comin', so formal introductions will not be necessary.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Dec 10 - 09:19 PM

Has anybody here seen Eiseley?
E-I-S-E-L-E-Y
The offspring of bibliotecal stock
Uses Cutter tables for a door stop
Has anybody here seen Eiseley?
We really gotta find ol' Eiseley
Cuz it's Christmas time and she's plumb disappeared and I greatly fear she's gone up to the Legion Hovel and fallen in with the company there, which would not work to her moral and philosophical betterment.


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