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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Eiseley 26 Sep 10 - 12:29 AM
Rapparee 25 Sep 10 - 11:04 PM
Acme 25 Sep 10 - 10:37 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 10 - 08:54 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 10 - 07:39 PM
Acme 25 Sep 10 - 06:37 PM
gnu 25 Sep 10 - 06:28 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 10 - 06:25 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 10 - 06:23 PM
Amos 25 Sep 10 - 06:03 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 10 - 05:41 PM
gnu 25 Sep 10 - 05:30 PM
Amos 25 Sep 10 - 04:02 PM
Rapparee 25 Sep 10 - 02:17 PM
Acme 25 Sep 10 - 02:16 PM
Amos 25 Sep 10 - 02:06 PM
gnu 25 Sep 10 - 01:25 PM
Acme 25 Sep 10 - 12:44 PM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 10 - 12:17 PM
Acme 25 Sep 10 - 12:00 PM
Amos 25 Sep 10 - 11:21 AM
Eiseley 25 Sep 10 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 25 Sep 10 - 10:37 AM
Little Hawk 25 Sep 10 - 06:57 AM
Rapparee 24 Sep 10 - 10:14 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 10 - 10:06 PM
Eiseley 24 Sep 10 - 09:59 PM
Rapparee 24 Sep 10 - 03:00 PM
Acme 24 Sep 10 - 11:11 AM
Amos 24 Sep 10 - 10:58 AM
Little Hawk 24 Sep 10 - 10:25 AM
Rapparee 24 Sep 10 - 10:24 AM
Amos 24 Sep 10 - 12:06 AM
Acme 23 Sep 10 - 11:22 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 10 - 10:09 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 10 - 09:37 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 10 - 09:15 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 10 - 08:37 PM
Amos 23 Sep 10 - 08:06 PM
Rapparee 23 Sep 10 - 07:32 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 10 - 05:59 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 10 - 05:50 PM
gnu 23 Sep 10 - 05:45 PM
Amos 23 Sep 10 - 05:34 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 10 - 05:07 PM
Amos 23 Sep 10 - 03:10 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 10 - 02:39 PM
Amos 23 Sep 10 - 12:13 PM
Little Hawk 23 Sep 10 - 11:55 AM
Acme 23 Sep 10 - 11:53 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 26 Sep 10 - 12:29 AM

One of my librarian's sons wants to build a trebuchet in his back yard. Will you share that story with us---and then may I pass it on to the young 'un, Rap?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 11:04 PM

All right, I'll see what I can do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 10:37 PM

Thanks, Little Hawk. I agree! I hope you continue to feel better.

I see some of these silly riffs come along here and think "yes, that's a good one!" and watch people tease out more material. Little lamp who made thee, etc went on to great stuff. And all of the name calling - in this thread, it's a good thing!

I wish Rap would write some more of those stories, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 08:54 PM

Hi folks. I had a migraine most of the day, probably due to a low pressure front coming in. The barometer is rising now, and the headache is finally receding into the distance, thank goodness.

So, I've been playing guitar upstairs, learning some great Mary Chapin Carpenter tunes...and I had a thought strike me very strongly all at once and I want to tell you.

I love you guys. Love is all we've got to see us through. And that's how it is and shall be. God bless all of you.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 07:39 PM

Chongo trusts no one with his libation card. After all, no one else would be able to keep up with his normal capacity when using it, so what would be the point really?

I am at a loss to explain his longevity. ;-) He is living proof that smoking and drinking are both extremely beneficial to lengthening the lifeftime. Either that or he was naturally intended to live at least 150 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 06:37 PM

I'd only trust him with my library card.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 06:28 PM

I expect the rogue cackles at hackles. He's a gay blade, a bon viant, a gadabout who defies definition. But a liar? Nay, never. I'd trust him with my libation card.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 06:25 PM

Indubitabobbily. Who could argue with such perfectly circular steel-trap logic? Who would even try?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 06:23 PM

How could I be less? If I were less, then I would not be what I am, and since I Am Who Am I cannot be less than what and who I am.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 06:03 PM

Rapaire de MOAB, first in truthiness, first in self-accreditation, first in the hackles of his countrymen.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 05:41 PM

I do not ever lie. I tell nothing but Truths. Sometimes several Truth at the same time, and sometimes they might not be related to that poor, feeble crutch humanity calls "Reality", but they are Truths none the less. For what is Truth but the Way Things SHOULD Be, rather than the way they are?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 05:30 PM

Lying in the bushes? Rap would never actually lie. Stretch the truth a tad perhaps, but never lie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 04:02 PM

Oh come on--how did you land that pash spot at the Yickahawma Community Library if not by lying and hoping for pay for it??


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 02:17 PM

And exactly what, pray tell, is wrong with being among the "dirty disreputable rough good-for-nothing disorderly...raparees", pray tell? Most of them are, like the Hooters restaurant chain, "delightfully tacky yet unrefined" -- except, of course, for those of us who are quite refined but are still delightfully tacky.

Of course, Patrick O'Brien is merely a novelist, a writer of untruths, someone who tells lies and gets paid for it, a mechanic if you will, someone "in trade". His is quite beneath the notice of those of us who lie and don't get paid for it, who do it for the pure art of the thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 02:16 PM

To throw it or to receive it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 02:06 PM

In her telling of it, the young sister hid under the bed in tears and terror almost all the day, fearing her guinea pig would be promptly taken off and put to a sorry death for having endangered one finger on Joe Namath's million-dollar hands.

In the actual event nothing happened. I suppose the finger healed shortly and he went on to play more football.

Another little-known fact: Joe Namath taught Christine Lavin how to throw a forward pass.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 01:25 PM

"... a guinea pig which bit Joe Namath on the finger."

So that's what happened to his career.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 12:44 PM

comic sans ms


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 12:17 PM

Nice font!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 12:00 PM

Wow, Eiseley! It may SEEM like serendipity that led you to find that remark, but I'm sure it was

FATE!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 11:21 AM

Oh, EIseley!! How CHERCE!! How POIFECT!! :D

Mom: Last night I stood on a stage with Christine Lavin and sang a bit part in the background chorus for hner performance of "Sensitive New Age Guys".    I mean, she was right there, and I coulda touched her and everything, and he glasses were slipping down her well-formed nose and she plays really good guitar, and I woulda gotten fresh but we're both too old for all that and besides her brother was standing right next to me.

It was a loverly evening. BBW smuggled her a note asking her to play "The Kind of Love You Never Recover From" and by gawd, she did. It is as far as I am concerned the best song she ever wrote, and one I have done for years. BBW says she likes my version better. A foine compliment, no mistake.

Things I did not know about Christine Lavin: She used to work at a lot of funny odd jobs. She is a WHIZ baton twirler. She once had (well her sister did) a guinea pig which bit Joe Namath on the finger.

And she is a great showperson. A loverly evening. Ya just gotta laugh and laugh.

Tom Paxton comes to San Diego later this year.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 10:41 AM

I've been reading The Ionian Mission by Patrick O'Brian and discovered this erudite, apt, and even aurgurous passage:

        "The Navy is the life for me," said Martin again, "Quite apart from the excellent company?and I may say that as far as I have seen, the ordinary sailormen are quite as obliging as the officers."

        "I have certainly found it so, in many cases, Aft the more honor, forward the better man, as Lord Nelson put it," said Stephen. "Aft being the officers and young gentlemen, forward the hands?the container for the contents, you understand. Yet I think that by forward we are to take him to mean real sailors; for you are to observe that in a crew such as this a great many scrovies are necessarily swept in, froward dirty disreputable rough good-for-nothing disorderly ragabashes and raparees to begin with, and sometimes forever.


O'Brian, P. (1981). The Ionian mission. New York: W. W. Norton. p. 78.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 10:37 AM

Well, that last one dates from about 1962.

"Mrs. Jones, can Tommy come out and play?"
"Jimmy, Tommy died last night."
"Can I have his bike?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Sep 10 - 06:57 AM

That sounds like the jokes Chongo makes when he's kibittzing with his bar buddies..."big laffs all around".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 10 - 10:14 PM

I've known sick jokes for years and years.

"How'd you get a flat tire?"
"Ran over a bottle."
"Didn't you see it?"
"Damn kid had it under his coat."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 10 - 10:06 PM

Did you hear Jeff Dahmer broke out of jail? They caught him with a bottle of barbecue sauce, heading for Waco.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Eiseley
Date: 24 Sep 10 - 09:59 PM

MOM's sitting out on the porch swing looking a little pale and wan. I took her a plate of roast beef and gravy but she just shook her head and lay back against the swing. She said she was feeling a bit off her fodder. I think it was something Rapaire wrote.

Eiseley


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 10 - 03:00 PM

Really awful, politically incorrect, joke:

What's black and white and red all over?
Sister Mary Ignatius.
Sister's not red all over.
She taught at Columbine.

Or:

Poor Jeff Dahmer. The cops busted him just as he was having a ball and starting to get a head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Sep 10 - 11:11 AM

What's black and white and read all over?


































































Two nuns rolling down a hill.

Oh, wait, wrong punchline. . .





:-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 10 - 10:58 AM

Wow!! Rapaire is sending in the NUNS!! Oh my Gawd!! And also WTF!! Man, you are so intimidating, I'm gonna have to cancel our date at BWI's Comfort Quality Sleepy Bide-a-Wee Motel and Miniature Golf Resort. You've just made it too, too, terribly dangerous. I might eat your penguins for brunch, dude. Snarf!! Bewildered collapsed metaphysical invulnerabilties, just gone, just like that!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Sep 10 - 10:25 AM

Heh! Heh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Sep 10 - 10:24 AM

Okay, that does it. I'm calling out the heavies.

Amos, two people dressed in black and white will visit you today or tomorrow. Their names are Sister Mary John and Sister Margaret Mary. The are members of the Sisters of Divine Obedience In Others.

Quake, don't shake. They'll have rulers with them.

Sorry it had to come to this.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Sep 10 - 12:06 AM

Oh, never mind--they are shaking so violently in sheer terror that they may give way on their own. You are soooooo SCAREY, Rapaire. However did you learn to be SOOOO frightning and all??




NOT!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 11:22 PM

Naw, don't break his knees, just make him do a break dance. That ought to be enough torture. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 10:09 PM

So, I have Vinnie and Rocco break his knees or somethin', huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 09:37 PM

Methinks all that is really necessary is to give the rascal a drubbing sufficient to cause him to beg for mercy, Rapaire. After all, we'd miss him if he were gone for good.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 09:15 PM

LH, you want me to "take Amos out" at Getaway? The swords have already been received by the receptor on the other end, so it won't be a problem.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 08:37 PM

Ah-Ha! Ha! Ha! Wonderful response, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 08:06 PM

My arrgance, sirrah? MY arrgance? You never even showed ANY interest in Haptic interfaced telemanipulation, nor had a single kind word to say about Decomposition of transformation matrices, and you have the sheer effrontery to accuse me of arrgance???? May tthe dimming crepuscule of naked mortality descend upon your cerebellum and darken your minicephalic meanderings for all time, you petulant huff-snuff!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 07:32 PM

Last Sunday it would have been "Arrghance, Matey!" Last Sunday was Talk Like A Pirate Day. It's too late now, you'll have to wait for next year.

I went fishing today. At Medicare Beach, not Cardiac Arrest Beach as I did before. Lost TWO good sized trout; both snapped my good ol' line (one took my good ol' bait rig and the other my good ol' Rapalla sinking lure). I suppose that was to be expected after 23 years of use, though. Good thing I have more line, eh?

Finally I just gave up, listened to my audiobook, and watched the grebes, pelicans, gulls, and a red-headed duck as I sat in my fishing chair close to the water's edge.

The good ol' wind also carried off my good ol' straw hat -- fortunately the OLD one with the holes in it (Eiseley isn't THAT good of a shot). Last seen it was sailing towards American Falls dam.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 05:59 PM

When I typed "arrgance", it should have been "arrogance". Come to think of it, though, your arrgance does offend me as well. ;-D


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 05:50 PM

Amos - You irk me with your presumptuous putdowns and snide implications, sir. Your arrgance offends me. Were I inclined to soil my hands with the blood of a worthless poltroon, you would be in serious trouble... ;-D As it is, however, I shall spare you my wrath, for I have compassion for the culturally impaired.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 05:45 PM

There yees goes again eh. Makin this stuff up as yees goes along. I don't believe any of it sos I am not even goolgin them there big words. Geezoh! An what's with the Roman Numerals? Yer too high falooten fer the loikes a me youse.

I gotta stir me Kraft Dinner. Later eh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 05:34 PM

Oh, my poor amigo!! I am so sorry to have exposed you to the horrid, putrid, tedious entrails of regular employment!! Never mind. Have some Ramen noodles;you'll feel much better.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 05:07 PM

God...the tedium! What are you trying to do, bore me to death?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 03:10 PM

Asbery, R.J., Pretlove, J. R. G., Telepresence for remote inspection, Service Robot, Vol. 1(2), pp20-23, 1995.

Pretlove, J.R.G., Get a head in telepresence: Active vision for remote intervention, Proc of the Int Conf on
Remote Techniques for Hazardous Environments, British Nuclear Energy Society, Leicestershire, pp264-269,
29-30 April, 1996.

Wheeler, A. C., Pretlove, J.R.G., Parker, G.A., Augmented Reality to Enhance Active Telepresence System,
SPIE Int Conf on Telemanipulator and Telepresence Technologies III, SPIE Photonics East 1996, 18-22nd
November, 1996.

Wheeler, A. C., Pretlove, J.R.G., Parker, G.A., Augmented Reality: Calibration of the Real and Virtual
Worlds, SPIE Int Conf on Intelligent Systems & Advanced Manufacturing: Telemanipulator and Telepresence
Technologies IV, SPIE Photonics East 1997, Pittsburgh, October 1997.

Yu, W., and Pretlove, J.R. Semi-autonomous teleoperation system with vision guidance, to be presented at the
SPIE Int Symp on Intelligent Systems and Advanced Manufacturing, Telemanipulator and Telepresence
Technologies V, Boston, Nov,. 1998, SPIE conference number 3524, 1998.

Chen, N., Yu, W., and Pretlove, J.R. Haptic interfaced telemanipulation, to be presented at the SPIE Int Symp
on Intelligent Systems and Advanced Manufacturing, Telemanipulator and Telepresence Technologies V,
Boston, Nov,. 1998, SPIE conference number 3524, 1998.

Ganapathy, S., Decomposition of transformation matrices for robot vision, Proc. Of IEEE Int. Conf. on
Robotics and Automation, 1984, pp 130-139.

Just in case Mom needed some prior-art references on augmented reality systems...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 02:39 PM

Apt questions indeed!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 12:13 PM

Why would Mom want to hide these lights under a bushel?

And why does Rapaire insist on referring to people by their first names whom he has never met, and to whom he has not been introduced?? Talk about blathertwaddle!!

Ode to a Flashlight

LED torch, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal eye, or hand
Made the form, or named the brand?

In what distant fab or shop
Turned he out thy screw-on top?
From what ancient Mandarin
Did he import thy body thin?

And what shoulder and what art
made the chip within thy heart?
And, when thy heart was made by day,
What night-shift ran thy QA?

What the hammer? what the chain?
And thy blueprint, from what brain?
Whence the copper? From what sea
Silicon for thy main IC?

When the stars threw down their spears,
And watered heaven with their tears,
Did the Maker then foresee
Who would make an LED??

LED torch, burning bright
In the forests of the night,
What immortal eye, or hand
Made the form, or named the brand?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 11:55 AM

Your sesquipedalian tirades, Amos, are evidence of a mind careening uncontrolled through a labyrinth of quasi-intellectual sludgewallow that resembles nothing more than the entrails of a goat scattered randomly upon a verdant sward.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Sep 10 - 11:53 AM

LOOK!

MOM's laughing and heading across the lawn to drop a bushel basket over the top of Rapaire and Eiseley.


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