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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 04 Mar 10 - 11:26 AM
Amos 04 Mar 10 - 09:30 AM
Rapparee 04 Mar 10 - 09:01 AM
Amos 03 Mar 10 - 10:18 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 10 - 08:44 PM
GUEST,Esmee Been 03 Mar 10 - 08:03 PM
Amos 03 Mar 10 - 07:41 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 10 - 07:03 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 03 Mar 10 - 04:39 PM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 10 - 04:29 PM
Amos 03 Mar 10 - 04:25 PM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 10 - 04:20 PM
Amos 03 Mar 10 - 03:04 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 10 - 02:59 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 10 - 02:53 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 10 - 02:46 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 10 - 01:06 PM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 10 - 11:40 AM
Amos 03 Mar 10 - 11:34 AM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 10 - 11:26 AM
Amos 03 Mar 10 - 11:07 AM
Little Hawk 03 Mar 10 - 10:45 AM
MMario 03 Mar 10 - 08:54 AM
Janie 02 Mar 10 - 10:12 PM
Janie 02 Mar 10 - 10:10 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 09:53 PM
Janie 02 Mar 10 - 09:50 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 09:42 PM
Acme 02 Mar 10 - 09:35 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 08:27 PM
Ebbie 02 Mar 10 - 08:06 PM
GUEST,Esmee Been 02 Mar 10 - 07:32 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 04:49 PM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 10 - 04:34 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 04:30 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 04:09 PM
Little Hawk 02 Mar 10 - 03:24 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 03:03 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 02:53 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 02:51 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 02:37 PM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 01:28 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 12:55 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 12:51 PM
MMario 02 Mar 10 - 12:23 PM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 11:55 AM
Acme 02 Mar 10 - 10:13 AM
Rapparee 02 Mar 10 - 10:04 AM
Amos 02 Mar 10 - 12:54 AM
GUEST,Esmee Been 01 Mar 10 - 11:47 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 11:26 AM

MOM says you boys are playing a little rough with those blackjacks. Next it will be nunchucks. And then look out or she'll call Judge Sonia to come set you guys right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 09:30 AM

And slapping his black jack with his other hand....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 10 - 09:01 AM

The Pocatello Range ain't nowhere near the Uintahs. The Sergeant-At-Arms to me to tell you that while he was slapping his left hand with his blackjack.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 10:18 PM

You need to have your prescriptions checked. I have twice written "country" (a general region or area) and you have twice read "county" (a legal, named area). Foo!! Teach them Legionaires readin'. And to wear they eyeglasses.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 08:44 PM

At the time is was part of Bingham County, Idaho. There is not now, and never has been, a Uintah County in Idaho. The very idea would arose much ire in the Legion Hovel, should you ever care to visit that esteemed establishment.

Esmee: keepking little Johnny poor and wanting builds character. Louie told me that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Esmee Been
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 08:03 PM

Louie, why do you let your friends speculate about me? About US?

Is Little Hawk dangerous? Did he 'scape from the asylum a while back?

Don't you wanna know about little Johnnie? Not a peep or leap for joy at the news. I need to warn you, that I kinda accidentally let it slip to Thelma that I'd found you, and she wants to know where this Mudcat place is. Is it a fish restaurant?

She thinks you should send your tips to help support your son.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 07:41 PM

I am SO sorry, Sir. I don't know what I could have been thinking of when I wrote Cochise COUNTRY, not county. Of course, I meant Uintah country.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 07:03 PM

Cochise County? Amos, have you been smoking Californy Tabaky agin? The robbery referred to was near the Black Rock station outside of what is now Inkom, Idaho. The stage went from Virginia City, etc., MT to Salt Lake City, UT. There's no Cochise County anywhere along that route.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 04:39 PM

Sure, I am willin' to get Rapaire alone in a room and use some gentle "persuasion" to get him to spill the beans about the Black Rock Stage robbery and them other allegations...

Providin' I get some money up front first, that is.

$500 down should do it. I'll get this pigeon to sing, no problem. But who's puttin' up the cash? Ya know....I like Rapaire almost enough to do it for free.....but I also need rent money. A guy can't afford to get soft.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 04:29 PM

That sounds like a pretty good idea to me. I'll suggest it to Chongo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 04:25 PM

If Chongo got Rapaire alone in a room and got him tied up and pistol whipped him a little about robbing that Black Rock stage, he might be able to get Rapaire to reveal where the six trunks of gold dust and nuggets it was carrying ended up being hidden in what was, at the time, the back reaches of Cochise country.

Just a thought, mind you...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 04:20 PM

Chongo would probably investigate all these allegations if he thought there was any point (or gain) in doing so....

Heh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 03:04 PM

Well, there ya go, Hawkster. Just shows to go ya, just when you think you know someone, bam!! They pull something like confessing to every major murder in the last 2100 years. Lose more damn friends that way--they get trundled off in funny jackets.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 02:59 PM

I also beheaded Ann Boleyn and Poor Pearl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 02:53 PM

I also killed Julius Caesar, robbed the stagecoach at Blackrock, turned in the Dauphin and the Duke, showed the Persians the way around the Spartans, shot William Rufus, and pushed Amy Robsart down the stairs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 02:46 PM

Yes! I do admit it! I shot him! I never liked Jesse anyway, really. I always wondered about him and Frank, his own brother. I mean, c'mon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 01:06 PM

I admit it! I did it! And I'm glad, you hear me? Glad! Who knew the inheritance powder wouldn't work? Damn.

                        --Charles
Prince of Wales, Duke of Cornwall, Duke of Rothesay, Earl of Chester, Earl of Carrick, Baron Renfrew, Lord of the Isles, Prince and Great Steward of Scotland.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 11:40 AM

LOL!

Yeah, I too strongly suspect the Mad Librarian...

The sad thing is, though, I will never know it for an absolute certainty unless he admits it, and I've seldom known him to admit anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 11:34 AM

Well, it certainly couldn't have been Rapaire!! His reputation for probity and straightforward, honest communication is unmarred in the annals of his own mind!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 11:26 AM

Yes, I understand that I would be a likely suspect...no doubt about it. However, when I tell you unequivocally that I did not post any of those Esmee Bean posts, I mean it.

What the heck. It's not like I have much to lose here. ;-) This kind of nonsense is strictly for fun, so I'm not risking much by making it clear that a particular set of "Guest" posts didn't come from me, but I'm just attempting to clear the deck, that's all. I sort of have to do that when various anonymous happens that might be ascribed to me, otherwise I'd end up being blamed for a ton of weird stuff that I never posted, and that could get to be a real hassle.

Think about who it might be. It ain't me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 11:07 AM

Well, sir, your repute for being the perpetrator of such things is entirely your own responsibility; even if you did not do it this time, you are the most likely suspect for good reason, you will understand. So I leave it to you del with your fellow deludees and co-conspirators as you see fit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 10:45 AM

Amos, you accuse me falsely. You are in error, sir. I am not the only one here who is capable of composing bizarre "Guest" posts under assumed names, you know. Think about it.

Then too, this Esmee Bean may actually be real. I mean, who am I to say? I know nothing about the origin of those posts, so anything is possible, I suppose.

Esmee may be a surviving relative of the notorious Sawney Bean!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Mar 10 - 08:54 AM

Janie reveals the secret of the cosmos! This entire thread is nothing but a figment of Ebbie's imagination!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 10:12 PM

Just joking, Grasshopper.

The answer to your question can be found in post 34444.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 10:10 PM

I dunno, but as soon as Lizzie Cornish figures it out, she'll let you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 09:53 PM

What is this "life" of which you speak?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 09:50 PM

Jeez, I go off and get a life for a couple weeks and all hell breaks loose here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 09:42 PM

By George, I believe he's got it! (I hope he sees the doctor in time.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 09:35 PM

Oh oh, Amos used Little Hawk's name.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 08:27 PM

Oh, stop it, George.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 08:06 PM

This is Number 34444


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Esmee Been
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 07:32 PM

If Louie Troutfriend is a massive opium dream, then what am I? I'm here to tell you, Louie is real!

You guys, you're forcing me to show my hand. Louie don't know about it, but he's got a kid from that last time he came through town. It's been a while, and lemme think, little Johnny is about 12 now. Yup. Turns 12 in early April. The kid came along after that orgy party down in the park from the summer before. Do the math. Oh, and he's actually Thelma's boy. She was at that party also. But what the heck, we know Johnny is Louie's 'cause he looks just like him.

Louie was through town that time on his way to visiting various Temples of some sort. Golden Balls? Something like that.

It is you, Louie, isn't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 04:49 PM

The voice of hard experience has spoken!! (Two of them, actually...).


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 04:34 PM

A crisis of identity is a painful thing, particularly when occassioned by extreme peer pressure. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 04:30 PM

Ah, yes, dear Sherlock. You do know that his name originally was Sherrinford Holmes, don't you? He changed it while at Rugby School because all of the Uppers in D-Block were calling him "Sherry" and demanding Certain Favors.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 04:09 PM

As Sherlock Holmes once pointed out, Hawkster, when all likely explanations are eliminated, the one that remains, however unlikely, must be the answer. Consider the possibility, strange though it seems, that this whole Troutsnout game of yours is just a massive opium dream, stirred into being by your suppressed resentment at my frequent sallies against your person, for all of wehich I do no most profusly apologize (indeed, as profusely as I do everything!), and filtered through your own inestimable powers of delusion hallucination imagination..

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 03:24 PM

Gad! It is simply incredible what reams of sophisticated and impassioned prose can spew forth from the mind of an unwashed and barely sentient trailer-dwelling, knuckle-dragging loser like Louie Troutfriend when he imagines that he is a clever and well-educated pontificator from the San Diego suburbs.

Astounding, really.

Perhaps if this syndrome were infectious and became more widespread it would herald the death of the Republican Party's rural base and hence the extinction of Republicanism itself!

If so, how could it be a bad thing? ;-)

Perhaps we should encourage this "Amos" persona rather than attempting to get Louie to recover awareness of his true identity?

Whaddya think, Rapaire?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 03:03 PM

Said I to Rapaire, "You are ugly, sirrah!!"
"Both you and the Hawkster would shatter a jar!"
"Your belly and jowls and those wild bloodshot eyes!
Why you look like a bagman, not too well disguised!"

Yon Rapaire he rejoined, "Sir! You are just bemused!
"Your head has been spun by our mythic abuse!
"You're not in your right mind, you babble, instead!
"Go home and come back when you've sorted your head!"

I replied, "You are right sir, my brain's in a spin.
"And you are to blame for the state that it's in!
"But tomorrow, refreshed, I'll be bright as a pin,
"And will see you are both still as ugly as sin!"

Wynston Chatterly Fields, 1948


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 02:53 PM

I am reminded of a story about the late Dr. Samuel Johnson. A certain lady said to him, "Doctor Johnson, you smell." He replied, "Madam, you smell. I stink."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 02:51 PM

So will my hearing aid beeps, if you can hear them, which most people can't but a dog can.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 02:37 PM

'Ware your own mindless perseverance, Bagman. Your smell will give you away...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 01:28 PM

Louie, when I get wet behind my ears my hearing aids beep at me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 12:55 PM

And to make it perfectly clear, by "teen-minded" I meant puerile, raw, sophomoric, tenderfoot, unbaked, unfledged, unripe, unsophisticated, and wet behind the collective ears.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 12:51 PM

Well, p'raps you are right. I just couldn't bring myself to let a bunch of teen-minded woo-woo cyber-raggers tell me I was not free to communicate.

Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor. Sometimes, it's just a cop-out.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 12:23 PM

Amos, your mistake was in acknowledging their comments in the first place; now, because you have responded they are convinced that Louie is real and that he is you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 11:55 AM

The notion of willfully imposing false identities on others -- not just in occasional repartee, as I have often done myself, but in a concentrated campaign of alteration and denial of identity -- is really interesting. I am reminded of Freud who once remarked "I am coming to the conclusion that every conversation involves at least four people. We shall have a great deal to say about this."

One of the interesting aspects is of course what the psychic resources are on which people draw their materials for this intentional discharacterization. Projection is the obvious answer, but perhaps that is glib. Or, at least, insufficient. For example, when Little Hawk or Rapaire decides to dream up lower-class white-trash iconology to impose on their chosen alter-ego for me, are they thinking of themselves, or perhaps more deeply their own mothers, or fathers? Or some other deep psychic well of blither and blather which feeds their cognitive processes at a ground-water level, uninspected except in its symptoms?

Or is the mechanism that informs their callow jeremiads perhaps Jungian in its nature, an acting out of deep archetypes such as the Joker, or the Brat, drawn from racial memories so ancient as to precede known history?

Secondly, if Mother's house is to be temporarily turned into a theater for this kind of histrionics, in the fashion of the prepubescent Andy Rooney calling his playmates together with "Let's have a play!", what future paths of development offer themselves? One of course would be to let the impulse die a dismal death through attrition. Its perpetrators are of course hoping that will not be the course, as it undermines the effectiveness of their jejune and childish creativity.

Well then, what about generating completely ridiculous and false characters for all hands, and forcing them into the discussions? Why not a cheap and tawdry masquerade ball undermining all claims on human dignity or intelligence? Given this prepubescent sinkhole of shallow displays of humor, shouldn't we all fall in? Should we paint Little Hawk as a fifth-grade autism-spectrum, attention-deficit ridden miscreant stained with water-colors and food-fights, a sort of mixture between Dennis the Menace and Shane? Should Stilly become a dyed-blonde teen-aged pole-dancer from a backwater bar in eastern Washington State? And should Rapaire be forced to wear the mantle of a perverted overweight bagman who earns his daily bread downloading child-porn using public library computers and selling it to junior-high aged hockey players?

Which way should Mom's loyal citizens proceed? I mean, I realize that this is kind of like trying to make sense of the Tea Party, but since there is nothing else of moment occurring in Mom's half-acre, wot the hell, Archie.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 10:13 AM

Hmmm. Do you think Esmee is Shambles? I haven't seen him around the 'cat for ages.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 10:04 AM

No, Louie, fucking isn't shambles. Unless you kick away that 2x4 that's holding the plywood up against the break in the roof over the bed and then the the whole thing will collapse on you again. Then you, Esmee (or whoever), and fiver or six hounds might get hurt, not to mention your black-velvet Elvis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 10 - 12:54 AM

Man, I feel like Big Mick, just after the invention of Koko.

What a fucking shambles.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Esmee Been
Date: 01 Mar 10 - 11:47 PM

Baby Baby Baby

If phantasms is anything like orgasms, I'm your gal!

























Your faithful long lost Esmee


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