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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 17 Feb 10 - 06:05 PM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 05:56 PM
Janie 17 Feb 10 - 05:34 PM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 04:11 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 03:24 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 03:11 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 10 - 03:02 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 02:27 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 10 - 02:24 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 02:21 PM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 02:05 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 10 - 01:51 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 01:42 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 10 - 01:34 PM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 01:30 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 01:09 PM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 12:32 PM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 11:43 AM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 10 - 11:29 AM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 10:24 AM
Acme 17 Feb 10 - 10:23 AM
Rapparee 17 Feb 10 - 10:13 AM
Amos 17 Feb 10 - 09:28 AM
Amos 16 Feb 10 - 11:02 PM
Janie 16 Feb 10 - 11:02 PM
Janie 16 Feb 10 - 10:44 PM
Acme 16 Feb 10 - 10:33 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 10 - 10:04 PM
Acme 16 Feb 10 - 07:19 PM
Little Hawk 16 Feb 10 - 06:35 PM
Amos 16 Feb 10 - 06:23 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 10 - 05:50 PM
Little Hawk 16 Feb 10 - 04:26 PM
Amos 16 Feb 10 - 03:28 PM
Acme 16 Feb 10 - 03:27 PM
Little Hawk 16 Feb 10 - 03:19 PM
Amos 16 Feb 10 - 03:09 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 10 - 02:44 PM
Amos 16 Feb 10 - 02:33 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 10 - 02:06 PM
Little Hawk 16 Feb 10 - 01:46 PM
Amos 16 Feb 10 - 01:32 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 10 - 01:23 PM
Amos 16 Feb 10 - 12:15 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 10 - 11:44 AM
Rapparee 16 Feb 10 - 11:44 AM
Amos 16 Feb 10 - 09:17 AM
Amos 15 Feb 10 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 10 - 10:48 PM
Amos 15 Feb 10 - 07:55 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 06:05 PM

It's no use denying. Embrace it all and assert your freedom to do really perverted things.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 05:56 PM

Christ! No wonder I had the feeling I was under observation of late....

I can explain the incident with the Hillary Clinton inflatable doll!

On second thought, never mind.

I deny everything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 05:34 PM

Hey, according to the Google ad, you can buy the DVD, "The Little Hawk Show," for 19.95!

I think I'll wait until they play it on the Hallmark channel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 04:11 PM

Or a tooth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 03:24 PM

Running an artificial intelligence inside your head is all fun and games until someone loses an I.

Stuart Gibbon


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 03:11 PM

Well, good. Carry on. Take a nice long shower--the tiles add reverb to good effect.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 03:02 PM

Sing, you said, so I'm singing.

Way out west where the catfish run
Lived a mean old son-of-a-gun
His name was Percy and he bit off ears
But never, ever, drank some beers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 02:27 PM

WHere are my cheeses? You're making that up, aren't you? Confess...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 02:24 PM

Down in the West Texas town of El Pesthole
I fell in love with a lovely young made.
Her name it was Rosey, she worked the cantinas
On a really dull night she might give me a whirl.

Oy, ho boy, Rosie!
In your cantinas!
Donde esta los quesos de me?
Oy, ho boy, Rosie!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 02:21 PM

AH, I thinnk you make my point for me, good 'Ack!!

Rapaire: when should we expect that you will begin singing?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 02:05 PM

Chongo is offended by your cavalier and condescending attitude, Amos.

"I assume," I said to him, "that this means you are no longer on speaking terms with Amos. Shall I then inform him that in future, should you chance to meet on the street, a polite nod will suffice?"

"No, that's not exactly the way I would put it," Chongo replied. "No, I would word it quite differently. Sorta like..."Tell that lousy bum Amos that if he happens to cross my path anytime soon, he can expect to be pickin' his teeth up off the sidewalk, assumin' he is still conscious after we part company. Also, tell him to update his friggin' will. Ya don't want to leave that sorta thing till the last minute or yer relatives can get at loggerheads when you die, and yer spirit will be tortured in the afterlife by the mess you left behind here when you checked out sudden-like without leavin' no forwardin' address."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 01:51 PM

She'll be comin' round the mountain if she comes
She'll be comin' round the mountain if she comes
She'll be comin' round the mountain
She'll be comin' round the mountain
BRAVE BOYS!!
She'll be comin' round the mountain if she comes.

She'll be flyin' sheets and halyards if she comes
There'll be jigs and mizzens and mains'ls if she comes
She will have an outboard motor
And put out quite an odor
There's self pollution here if she comes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 01:42 PM

One day you will awaken, LH, and discover that Chongo is the embodiment of your entire Dark Side in one small furry malevolent rod-toting, dick-flashing, fedora-wearing package.


Rapaire: sing, man!! Sing!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 01:34 PM

I wanna sing some more. Let me know when you're ready.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 01:30 PM

Your cynicism is shocking, sir. I trust that in time you will suffer pangs of regret over the slanderous remarks you have made today about my erstwhile friend, Chongo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 01:09 PM

Sure. That, and finding out what the redhead had behind her skirt, are the onlymotives he has (aside from throwing dung).



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 12:32 PM

You are suggesting that Chongo traffics in his simian brothers and sisters for personal profit?????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 11:43 AM

,,,providing the dough was too good to pass up.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 11:29 AM

Chongo has long been a passionate proponent of freedom for all apes and monkeys...and peaceful integration of same into human society. It sounds, though, like these gorillas had not attained the necessary levels of education and cultural awareness to be good candidates for such integration. In that case Chongo would have favored returning them to the wild, a la "Born Free".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 10:24 AM

I think one of the gorillas slipped him a Franklin to distract the zookeeper during feeding time, is what I think.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 10:23 AM

The zookeeper was suspended, and I've heard a rumor that Chongo was in town. You don't think he was over there making mischief, do you? Would a chimp even bother with the gorilla freedom cause?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 10:13 AM

Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya,
Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya,
Kumbaya, my lord, kumbaya
Oh lord, kumbaya.

River Styx is chily and cold,
Kumbaya
Chills the soul and fries the bod,
Oh lord, kumbaya.
At a thousand degrees below zero
He buttoned up his vest.
Oh lord, kumbaya.
At the jam at Gerry's Rock
We never took that whale me boys,
We never took that whale.
Oh lord, kumbaya.

Okay, Amos, I'm done singing for now. Let me know when you want me to continue.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 10 - 09:28 AM

EVERYBODY SING!!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 11:02 PM

I'm going out to Dallas
Gonna turn a brand new page.
Going out to Dallas,
Turnin' a brand new page.
Gonna round up stray gorillas, baby,
And put them all back in their cage...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 11:02 PM

Yeh, I've been noticing the "in your face" adverts tonight.

"sigh" Guess I get what I pay for.

Ma, soo-boo-ree is oozing oil out of a number of seals and gaskets. Apparently to be expected from a used engine that sat on a shelf or in a junkyard for several years, then got put into another car and used again. Gotta drive to West-by-God-Virginia tomorrow to have seals replaced as that is where the warranty is good.   Get to enjoy the awd on the way, as it has been snowing in the mountains for 2 days, and will continue tomorrow.

So happens true Ma's birthdate is coming up and Sis bought tickets for a Harry Connick Jr. concert for a present, and now can't come and so happens I will be there in her stead.

I expect to return as mellow as ketchup from the experience.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 10:44 PM

Ta Da!



this ain't BS. It is spam.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 10:33 PM

There is an Amazon advertisement in our thread! What is Max thinking?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 10:04 PM

Two in SIX YEARS!?!? Hell, the jail in American Falls can get that many in one day!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 07:19 PM

I think you guys should head to Dallas and see if you can't help them figure out how gorillas keep escaping from their enclosures. With all of your experience turning it up with Chongo, it's an easy step up to the mental workings of a gorilla.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 06:35 PM

A rapid volley of "Nyaa! Nyaa! Nyaa!" can be quite devastating.

And there's the brilliant retort to your opponent's last insult, "I know you are, but what am I?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 06:23 PM

Your kind considerations are beyond description, sir!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 05:50 PM

That is to say, each in our own backyard. Done otherwise someone might be injured.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 04:26 PM

Oh, I like that... ;-) A glare-fight. Lovely! How about a lengthy session of name-calling and contemptuous gestures, such as thumbing the nose and sticking one's tongue out and wiggling it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 03:28 PM

You would be more suited to this engagement than I, sir---your condescending imagination is completely compatible with Libraryman's solipsistic and patronizing attitude. You could have a glare-fight, looking down your noses at each other until one or the other of you crumples....



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 03:27 PM

Oy. Who has time for duelling, with all of this paperwork?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 03:19 PM

It is hard to imagine that, isn't it? ;-) I am now envisioning the two of you progressing to rolling around wrestling in the dirt, pulling each other's hair, punching each other's noses, delivering a flurry of not-too-accurate additional punches, slaps, and kicks to various parts of each other's anatomy, and generally covering yourselves in martial glory...rather like a couple of school boys in Mark Twain's "Tom Sawyer".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 03:09 PM

You kindly confirm my suspicions, good Manne of Bookes. I simply do not know what we would do without you.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 02:44 PM

I forgot to mention that you will do this in your backyard and I will do likewise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 02:33 PM

If you are going to do the same--slice and shoot at yourself any which way--then I will wisely refrain, since you will be saving me a great deal of trouble. This way, you won't have to learn where the field of honor is.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 02:06 PM

I greatly prefer the Code Duello. Swords or pistols, it matters not to me. Amos can bring his Dragoon saber or Lemat revolver and shoot at me or slice away and I shall do the same.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 01:46 PM

Now, gentlemen...don't go getting all boring and dryly intellectual on us at this fine point in your ongoing spat. I was hoping you might soon be progressing to shoving the other fellow's shoulder back, treading on his toe "accidentally", giving him the old "nose-twist between the fingers" Three Stooge's style, taping a "kick me" sign on his back when he isn't watching...that sort of thing. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 01:32 PM

See, you have no sense of context and are being obstreperously narrow-minded. The context here was defined by youe reference to viewing others as your social betters--a wise impulse on your part,, BTW.

However, you correctly point out that we have no tradition of referring to people as our "worsers".

The rigid small-minded recitations of grammar which you emulate are a recent invention. In the nineteenth century, it was not uncommon to refer to those of lower social ordinates as one's "lessers".

'lesser - a thing that is of smaller size, value, importance etc; Comparative form of little: more little; of two things, the smaller in size, value, importance etc."

en.wiktionary.org/wiki/Lesser


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 01:23 PM

"Less", as any educated person would know, refers to the quantity of a quality or thing: "We had less snow this winter than last" or "He is far less intelligent than he thinks he is." "Few" refers to quantity: "I have never before see so few people at a funeral -- not even the corpse showed up" or "Fewer than one in a million play a zither in B#."

Therefore, "lesser" can hardly be the opposite of "better" (although I give you credit for using the comparative).

Good -> bad
Better -> worse
Best -> worst

"He was a bad man, worse than Billy the Kid, the worst man I ever met." Compare that to "He was a bad man, lesser than Billy the Kid, the worst man I ever met."

No, the correct term would be "worser".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 12:15 PM

Worsers. indeed! I have mine, sir, and am proud to count you among them. Your rabid furies are but a lady's tempest, full of fevers and vapours, signifying nothing. Go, book your flight to Blighty and sit at the feet of Walksabout.

And the word you are looking for is lessers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 11:44 AM

Why is it that we can have "our betters" but not "our worsers"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 11:44 AM

NO SENSE!?!?!?!

There are hidden meaning within hidden meanings! You, sirrah, are a mere Philistine, a bourgeois with pretensions to literacy, a sounding gong, a mere speck in the eye of Posey, naught but an all-encompassing Dunciad in one person. Go to, go to, varlet and scullion, and learn to read the words of your betters!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 10 - 09:17 AM

LOVE

As soon go kindle fire with snow,
as seek to quench the fire of love with words.

             William Shakespeare


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 10 - 11:21 PM

I am sorry, Rapaire, but your poetic effort makes no sense. P'raps you should go to England and study with Walkaboutsverse.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 10 - 10:48 PM

"You are old, Father Amos," young Rapaire said,
"And your hair is exceedingly sparse,
But you tear out madly in chunks and in beds,
And replace it with pieces of gorse."

"In my youth," quoth the Old Man, "that I never would do
For I knew it would injure my pate
But now I settle on with strong glue
And hope that the fumes will abate."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 10 - 07:55 PM

I wrote a whole Father William poem all about Rapaire and his delusory personifications, but it was eaten by a feral mudcat before it got to the thread.


A


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