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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 02 Aug 09 - 12:19 AM
Rapparee 01 Aug 09 - 09:55 PM
gnu 01 Aug 09 - 08:26 PM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 08:21 PM
Acme 01 Aug 09 - 08:11 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 09 - 07:51 PM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 07:12 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 09 - 07:03 PM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 06:55 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 09 - 05:10 PM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 04:43 PM
gnu 01 Aug 09 - 01:51 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 09 - 01:18 PM
gnu 01 Aug 09 - 01:11 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 09 - 01:02 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 09 - 10:58 AM
Amos 01 Aug 09 - 10:56 AM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 11:09 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 09 - 10:40 PM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 07:49 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 07:43 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 09 - 07:26 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 09 - 05:41 PM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 02:51 PM
MMario 31 Jul 09 - 02:50 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 02:41 PM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 02:39 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 02:21 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 09 - 02:19 PM
MMario 31 Jul 09 - 01:57 PM
gnu 31 Jul 09 - 01:33 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 09 - 11:51 AM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 11:49 AM
MMario 31 Jul 09 - 11:46 AM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 11:41 AM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 09 - 11:35 AM
Amos 31 Jul 09 - 11:18 AM
Acme 31 Jul 09 - 10:56 AM
Rapparee 31 Jul 09 - 10:27 AM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 09 - 08:50 AM
Rapparee 31 Jul 09 - 08:37 AM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 09 - 12:56 AM
Amos 30 Jul 09 - 10:20 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 09 - 09:19 PM
Amos 30 Jul 09 - 08:33 PM
Acme 30 Jul 09 - 07:46 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jul 09 - 06:49 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 09 - 06:41 PM
Amos 30 Jul 09 - 04:27 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 09 - 04:26 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 09 - 12:19 AM

This ruse will NOT succeed, monsieurs. Le Grand Spaw will not be trifled wid!! En garde!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 09:55 PM

Ne, Spaw's not around right now. Or, rather, Spaw has gone, wee wee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 08:26 PM

Rente pi haule une bushe la! I want to hear more of La Courierettes Du Bois and twitching of logs from youse. Little Hawk and his beaver must have been poplar on da pond la, ne'Spaw?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 08:21 PM

No, the ones with peckers were called Couriers de Bois--the voyageurs or wood-runners who ran the furs by canoe down from the frozen north woods.

Their spice were what was being referred to as Courieriettes. Pure whimsy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 08:11 PM

"Courierettes de Bois"? What is that? A wood pecker?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 07:51 PM

LOLOL!!! Aww, Christ... ;-) This is gettin' pretty good around here today. Nice tirade there, Amos. Tell me more!

Those Courierettes de Bois are nothing to sneeze at, Rap, lemme tell ya. As Mike C. always says at the Tuesday night song circle: "Let me have a wench. And let her be French!" He's a lascivious old scoundrel, but he has a lot of great tales about the seminal folk club days in the late 50s, early 60s. He ran one of the original folk clubs in Toronto and hosted ALL the early greats, such as: Lightfoot, Bonnie Dobson, Joan Baez, Carolyn Hester, Buffy Sainte-Marie, and even Bob Dylan. The first place Dylan played in Toronto (and in Canada, I guess...) was Mike's club.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 07:12 PM

He relieves pressure on it by venting sewage, obviously. Odd anatomical idiosyncracvy; must be the Beaver genes, eh?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 07:03 PM

If his brain is steam wouldn't his head explode? Or would his ears and nose act as pop-off valves? Could he manipulate his cranial openings to make, oh, calliope music? That could be very nice, especially if he played something like "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" while seated in the stern of a canoe that was paddled away by a couple of husky Courierettes Du Bois.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 06:55 PM

Man, LH, I dunno what it is with you, with the sex stuff on your mind all time. Furthermore, I ill have you understand, you plug-ugly camp, that I have never wanted for affectionate female companionship of the most inspiring sort, especially since I got married, and your slurs and scandalous denigrations are reflections on your own tribulations, sir, and none of mine. Bite your tongue, you steam-brained whippersnapper.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 05:10 PM

Yes, isn't it? But she's not really his sister, Amos. She's a gold-digging impostor who's trying to cash in on Chongo's well-deserved fame and inherit his millions---err, make that thousands---, err, well, no make that about fifty bucks and change plus a couple of 1930s silver dollars and a baseball autographed by Moe Berg*. Chinga's father was a chimp gunsel from St. Louis who died in a gangland war. Her mother was a chimpette of the evening from El Cajon.

So...how was the sex this time, Amos? Did she let you assume the dominant position or did you just stick to the usual humiliating routine with the whips and bananas?

* Moe Berg


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 04:43 PM

It is really wonderful to see Little Hawk come to his senses about the independent reality of Chongo's long-neglected sister!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 01:51 PM

9/10!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 01:18 PM

Yeah, that makes sense. She probably uses a pair of cheap pliers and a bottle of whiskey or a sharp blow to the head to calm the patient.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 01:11 PM

I hear she pulls a mean tooth, too. Diversification is required in the global marketplace. She gets em gummin and goin.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 01:02 PM

"I am off to the blood-stained alleys of Tijuana to see a fly-by-night dentist"

Ha! A likely story! He's off to another illicit rendezvous with Chinga. She runs a cathouse in Tijuana now, as well as a contraband banana and mango operation that moves illegal fruit into the USA. Amos is one of her bagmen, no doubt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 10:58 AM

Which I will donate to the US Marine Corps Recruit Depot, San Diego, for use by DIs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 09 - 10:56 AM

So long Mom, I am off to the blood-stained alleys of Tijuana to see a fly-by-night dentist.

If I survive I want Rapaire to have all my used bathroom tissues.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:09 PM

Given your history of aggression, sharpening your passive skills will make you more balanced. But -- Missoula? University visit? My, just erudite circles to travel in. You will have plenty of opportunities to practice your combined talents on them liberriens.

Safe travels, anyway!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 10:40 PM

Ladies and Gentlemen and Amos:

I have returned from an evaluation session in Physical Therapy. The therapist has given me a series of "passive" exercises to do and I will be doing them as they are little or no trouble and take no equipment save a flat surface and gravity.

This will continue for four weeks, at which time I will be in for more weeks of rather more difficult therapy. One of those is the "Slapper Push-Up" where you do a one-handed push-up with the hand on the injured side, slap yourself roundly on both cheeks (your choice of cheeks) while "up", catch yourself, and lower yourself for a repeat.

Monday afternoon, after PT, Pat and I head to Missoula, via Dillon, for the 100th Annual Conference and Centennial Birthday Party of the Pacific Northwest Library Association. I shall not be out of touch whilst gone, and I shall be doing the PNLA exercies des ans: the grasp, lift, and elbow bend (which is done holding a glass of the liquid of your choice).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:49 PM

Or even pernicious permeability.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:43 PM

Or perfunction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 07:26 PM

Which, of course, is why I haven't posted in the last few hours. If I had you would all have tried messing with ME, and as has been said, there's no messing with perfection.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 05:41 PM

I liked your first attempt better. There's no point messing with perfection. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:51 PM

In any case, Little Hawk's situation is well-known to be unbearable, and entirely gone to the dogs. Despite his efforts to catsup by having them mustard regularly, they do not seem to relish his company, and keep nipping his buns. To avoid this he spends much of his time sitting high on a rock onion hill, avoiding becoming hamburger.


Howzat?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:50 PM

I'm surprised he didn't say " and keep nipping onions buns"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:41 PM

Now, if ya coulda worked "onions" into that, I would have been impressed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:39 PM

In any case, Little Hawks situation is well-known to be unbearable, and entirely gone to the dogs. Despite his efforts to catsup by having them mustard regularly, they do not seem to relish his company, and keep nipping his buns.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:21 PM

But, he could throw the dogs to them. With a little mustard, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 02:19 PM

If I was in a rural area, I'd forget about using dogs at all. I'd set the bears on Amos instead. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 01:57 PM

Why would you set the dogs on Amos for Bear? Wouldn't it be smarter to set them on someone in a more rural area if you are trying for bear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 01:33 PM

Wouldn't do any good... Amos has a chair to stand on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:51 AM

Must I explain all the nuances of language to you, Amos? Forbear, my good fellow, forbear...lest I set the dogs on thee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:49 AM

26 hours 49 minutes and ~50 seconds.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:46 AM

Maryann (that Maryann, of Gilligan's Island) showing the world how to boil and peel an Idaho potato

Maryann? truly? If you only knew how many nights I dreamed about ....

ahem....

Interesting that you should bring of the migration of the potato to the High Plateau of Idaho, Rap. I was just reading an article on how the mass migration of the potato from the Northeastern United states to the Northwest is now believed to have been a contributing factor in the extinction of the Great Lakes Fur Dolphins and also of the Hudson River Manatee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:41 AM

I've played my fingers off on guitar (LH, 12:56 AM)

"...after 40 years of playing guitar I can confidently say: "Note that the fingers never leave the hands." " (LH, 11:35 AM)

Come, come, Little Hawk. Are your fingers ON, or OFF? Are you misleading us intentionally, like some shell-game mountebank? Or are you simply avoiding the tiresome effort of looking down at the ends of your hands to see if the frayed bits are worn off or not?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:35 AM

Actually, Amos, after 40 years of playing guitar I can confidently say: "Note that the fingers never leave the hands." ;-)

You are indeed the ne plus ultra of CBHTHPLs, and justifiably proud of it too, I would think. You are the grit in Bearded Bruce's vaseline.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:18 AM

Little Hawk, as usual, is just leaping across whole fields of missing data to promulgate windy and unbalanced confusions, usually scurrilous. For example, at 08:37 Mudcat time this morning I was in my car, driving to work, studiously listening to KPBS in order to maintain my current qualifications as a California Bleeding Heart Tree Hugging Pinko Liberal (CBHTHPL).

I am glad you played your fingers off, Little Hawk--at least you won't have to go through that again.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 10:56 AM

Those potatoes in Idaho look so cute when they're nearly grown and they roll over one morning in the field, wearing their new restaurant foil jackets. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 10:27 AM

Heck, I'd got the cows milked and fed, the back forty cut and windrowed, and the day cavvy brought in and saddled by the time I'd posted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 08:50 AM

The lazy bugger isn't even up yet, Rap.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 08:37 AM

I'm humbly grateful form your praise of my scholarship, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 09 - 12:56 AM

I'm back! Did you miss me? I've played my fingers off on guitar and also got to see about 2 hours of Allison Krause and her band on a couple of DVDs that a friend had. Very good!

So, Amos....you may swan now, but I think you'll more likely duck tomorrow, and I predict that you will not get to crow at all this week...nor will you be caught robin' the pantry if you know what's good for you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 10:20 PM

Well, I'll be darned!! I really do swan!! The things you learn on Mudcat!! Rapaire, thank you so much for that profound and impeccably researched bit of knowledge.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 09:19 PM

Amos, you do not understand potatoes. Like most, you think of them as tubers growing on the roots of plants.

NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH!!!

Potatoes are tiny, blind creatures similar to nemotodes which crawl underground searching for a plant's root system upon which to "suckle." The very best plant for this are the various varieties of Solanum tuberosum (or "Tubas of [St. Francis] Solanus" -- the reason for this name is irrelevant here). Potatoes can sense these plants many miles away and will literally bore through mountains to get to them. Once there, they attach themselves to the plant's roots so firmly that the plant literally grows around them and the potato loses it's own identity into that of the plant.

Once, Idaho (for example) was a high, flat plateau stretching from Montana to the Oregon and Washington borders. Early settlers planted
Solanum tuberosum (the original settlers lived on camas roots) and attracted the potatoes. This mass migration of potatoes from one place to another caused the soil and rock to collapse, as a sinkhole does when the water below is pumped out. This gave birth to Idaho's mountains. The same happened in Maine and Ireland, where the collapse of the land formed the immense central plain -- were it not for the potato Dublin would be an alpine resort.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 08:33 PM

My, it has turned scintillating...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 07:46 PM

Leo, scroll down and look for my link to Maryann (that Maryann, of Gilligan's Island) showing the world how to boil and peel an Idaho potato. A useful tip. MOM has been busy cooking potatoes since she watched it, and we're going to have potato salad for the next month around here. Pass the hard boiled eggs, please. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 06:49 PM

"What we need around here are a few more incorrigible reprobates and unrepentant miscreants."

You rang? :-D

Hold that thought, okay? I have to go out and play music now. I shall return just in time to save you from total ennui and despair. Try to survive the lonely hours that lie ahead...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 06:41 PM

Unwounded ones.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 04:27 PM

Jeeze, Mom is laconic and lugubrious today, doncha think? What we need around here are a few more incorrigible reprobates and unrepentant miscreants.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 09 - 04:26 PM

Raparie is going home and take a nap.


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