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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 02 Mar 09 - 08:55 AM
Ebbie 02 Mar 09 - 01:48 AM
Acme 02 Mar 09 - 01:36 AM
Amos 02 Mar 09 - 01:31 AM
Amos 01 Mar 09 - 08:36 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 09 - 05:43 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 09 - 05:42 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 09 - 05:39 PM
Amos 01 Mar 09 - 05:17 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 09 - 04:45 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 09 - 04:11 PM
Amos 01 Mar 09 - 01:47 PM
Janie 01 Mar 09 - 01:44 PM
Acme 01 Mar 09 - 01:43 PM
Rapparee 01 Mar 09 - 01:39 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 01 Mar 09 - 01:20 PM
Amos 01 Mar 09 - 12:52 AM
Janie 01 Mar 09 - 12:35 AM
Janie 01 Mar 09 - 12:28 AM
Rapparee 28 Feb 09 - 10:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Feb 09 - 10:06 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 09 - 09:49 PM
Acme 28 Feb 09 - 09:06 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 09 - 08:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Feb 09 - 08:39 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 09 - 07:30 PM
Amos 28 Feb 09 - 06:27 PM
Acme 28 Feb 09 - 03:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Feb 09 - 03:19 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 09 - 02:21 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Feb 09 - 12:49 PM
Rapparee 28 Feb 09 - 09:53 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Feb 09 - 04:09 AM
Amos 28 Feb 09 - 01:57 AM
Rapparee 27 Feb 09 - 09:27 PM
Acme 27 Feb 09 - 07:02 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 09 - 01:30 PM
Amos 27 Feb 09 - 01:17 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 09 - 01:04 PM
Amos 27 Feb 09 - 12:55 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 09 - 12:42 PM
Amos 27 Feb 09 - 12:30 PM
Rapparee 27 Feb 09 - 11:34 AM
Acme 27 Feb 09 - 10:12 AM
Amos 27 Feb 09 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 27 Feb 09 - 09:39 AM
Rapparee 27 Feb 09 - 09:23 AM
Amos 26 Feb 09 - 11:21 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 26 Feb 09 - 10:06 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 08:55 AM

No, not really.

When I was quite young I had some shame, but we had to sell it to make ends meet. Shortly thereafter we got lucky and killed and ate the wolf at the door AND we were able to sell the wall we had our backs to. So everything worked out okay, except for my brother Hermann. Poor boy, he never did get over the shame and since he wouldn't let Mom sell his to help the family we had to put him in an orphanage. It was there that he learned everything he knew to become a successful war profiteer and slumlord by the time he was eight years old.

We rarely speak of him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:48 AM

Well. So this is how all of you spend your time? Have you no work? Have you no shame?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:36 AM

How long is he gone this time? I wonder if we should ask Shane to go check on his house while he's away. To be sure no low-life stealing skunk stops over and . . .

Oh, never mind. He'd have to chase himself off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Mar 09 - 01:31 AM

You can tell he's down to the short strokes on his vacation in Ireland in winter

He usually posts five times as often!!

We just returned from an evening performance of the Three Penny Opera, liberally translated and vivaciously and powerfully performed.

Wonderful to see it refreshed. The parallels of that period in German history, just as their post-war (WWI) depression started to draw to a close, to our own time, is a bit noteworthy.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 08:36 PM

Well, it's a good thing for you. The way Mom was steaming up, you'd have lost your whole head if you hadn't run out the door with it still on.

But Mom will miss you, for no good reason. She always does.




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 05:43 PM

27972!! Palindrome!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 05:42 PM

Heck, Mom. I'm gonna be gone for a while.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 05:39 PM

Amos, do you kiss Mom with that potty mouth? Huh?

MOM!! Why'd you swat ME??? Amos was causing all the trouble!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 05:17 PM

You get plenty of cooties and germs where you keep your darned head half the time, any way and so there.!! OW!!! Leggo my ear, Mom!!!!!!~


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 04:45 PM

An' he's gotta use a blowtorch, too. I don't want his cooties and sorts of Dread Diseases, sociable though they might be.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 04:11 PM

I'll shake his hand if he'll sterilize it first. I'm not gonna tell what he's been doing 'cause it's disgusting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 01:47 PM

I ain't kissing that!! Are you kiddin'??? He's plain YEWGLY!! An' he knows it, too!!!!


OW!!!! Leggo my ear, Mom!!!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 01:44 PM

Am I ever glad my own gang of boys are not such a quarrelsome bunch.

Amos and Rapaire, both of you go sit in the corner until you are ready to kiss and make up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 01:43 PM

It's the weekend so it must be cold and windy. The warm weather only happens in the middle of the week when I have to stay inside to work.

MOM, make it stop doing that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 01:39 PM

MOM!!! Amos and Bee-Dubya are picking on me because I'm better looking AND I'm going to Ireland on Thursday AND Amos called me Eddy Pal and I'm not Eddy and I don't even know Eddy Pal.

Make 'em stop.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 01:20 PM

What is this "comprehensibility" of which you speak?

I'm sorry, but I misspoke. I meant "reprehensibility"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 12:52 AM

Man, that is beauty incarnate!!!~

And yes, Rapaire, comprehension is Oedipal, like you. That's why you keep coming back and bothering Mom alla time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 12:35 AM

So, blame it on the kids and the neighbor that I felt entitled to indulge myself and went downtown and purchased a painting I can't afford but have been visiting regularly at a local artists co-op gallery.

Sit down here, MOM, and feast your eyes on it. I'll fetch us both a glass of wine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 01 Mar 09 - 12:28 AM

Whew! Just spent 24+ hours in the midst of a trio of 15 year-old boys who were supposed to go to an airsoft game that got rained-out. So of course they spent a good part of the day between rain showers out in the yard shooting at assorted targets fetched from the recycle bin until my nieghbor, who I have not laid eyes on in the 7 months I have lived here came over to express concern that her dogs might catch a stray plactic BB. While she was at it, she introduced herself.

Legitimate concern, though I was watching the boys and they were being careful.

While she was at it, she also asked if the dogs caused me any problems.

With a big, friendly grin to match her own, I told her how extremely annoying it is to live next door to a large barking dog who is bored and tethered outside 24-7, a small Jack Russell that is turned outside to run loose every night and will come and stand about 6 feet in front of me and bark non-stop if I try to sit out in my front yard at night, and a black cat that thinks I have bird feeders up for it's dining pleasure and that I finally got my porch furniture set up so that he would have somewhere soft to sleep at night where he can leave his fur and flea nits.

We both allowed as it was nice to finally meet, she headed back across the property to her house, and I went back to fixing grilled cheese sandwiches for the kids.

I need a drink!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 10:27 PM

What is this "comprehensibility" of which you speak? Is it edible or, like me, simply something exquisite to look at?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 10:06 PM

Ya know, if you display this thread in descending order, but read it as if it were in ascending order, it makes very little difference as far as overall comprehensibility is concerned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 09:49 PM

I have just a modicum of spatulas. Spatulate ones, no less, that permit me to spatulate whenever I so chose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 09:06 PM

Well at least he didn't say

SPATULA!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 08:53 PM

modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmodicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum modicum so there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 08:39 PM

MOM!!!!

Rapaire said "modicum"! Send him to bed without any supper!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 07:30 PM

Yes, he did. And a lot of other things, a few of which even made some modicum, some tiny granule, of sense.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 06:27 PM

I allus did say a good bodkin is beter than a bad godkin. Didn't I allus say that, Rapaire? Tell 'em how I allus did say that.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 03:41 PM

I have a bodkin I bought a couple of years ago. It's easier than using a safety pin to run a cord or thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 03:19 PM

No, my bodkin is like the third one from the left in this picture.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 02:21 PM

You're not...thinking...of a bare bodkin, are you?? Like Hamlet decided not to make his quietus with?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 12:49 PM

I've changed my mind. The one thing I have to say is "bodkin"!

I wasn't going to say it because I didn't want to be responsible for the consequences, but now I don't care. Sometimes you just have to throw caution to the wind and let the cowchips fall where they may.

Or may not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 09:53 AM

Then I'm not going to tell you what you said, so there!

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!! Ground Bee-Dubya, okay?

And as for mean old Amos, well, who said Great Writing is logical? But then, if you're implying that I'M logical, well, me and you are gonna duke it out, ya hear?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 04:09 AM

I only have one thing to say, and I'm not telling you what it is.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Feb 09 - 01:57 AM

Ummm...Rapaire....your statement is not logical, man.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:27 PM

Good writing takes a while, GREAT writing takes forever.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 07:02 PM

Well, it looks like we all stayed away a lot longer than we needed to. And I read over on one of Max's threads that Claire Bear actually loaded the entire MOAB thread on her computer so she could read it while Mudcat was down.

I guess she expected the 'cat to be away for a month, at least. How long do you think it might take someone to read this thing, from the beginning? Hell, it's taken use years to write it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 01:30 PM

I dunno...Mom's been around the block a couple of times, if you catch my meaning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 01:17 PM

Hmmm. Not from Chinga's trade, but maybe some recipes for BS soup or handy hints on cleaning?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 01:04 PM

I dunno...Mom's likely to teach Chinga some new tricks....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:55 PM

OK, we'll take Shane off Little Hawk's list and I'll send Chinga in his stead. It's been a long time since she and Chongo even saw each other so the chemistry should be...well, interesting.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:42 PM

I don't think Mom should be around the rotting, stinking corpse of the late Shame McBride. She is so darned GOOD she might revitalize him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 12:30 PM

I think Little Hawk should pay for all his imaginary playmates to go stay with Mom while the outage occurs.



Coach, of course.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 11:34 AM

Stilly, I've send some of the Legion boys over to keep her company. They're bringing a few jugs of "stuff" and a "load of sauerkraut and some of them limboorger cheeses ol' Josh had socked away." So she'll have food, drink, and sometimes-good company.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 10:12 AM

Very nice, and accurate as well.

Mom is settled with a good book to read, a couple of spares if she finishes it, and she has a thermos of hot tea, Tupperware© containers with fresh blueberry muffins on the kitchen counter and slices of cheese and apple in the fridge. There is a package of fresh shaved rare roast beef, excellent mustard and fresh lettuce and sliced tomato, and a loaf of homemade bread (fresh this morning) to make a sandwich. There are Cokes and beer in the fridge.

The power should stay on even though the connections are out to the Internet, but she has batteries in her flashlight and transistor radio (she refuses to switch up to an mp3 player with a radio).

She'll be comfortable until the Mudcat comes back up, and the next door neighbor promised to take her out to dinner if it's still out by 7pm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 10:04 AM

Oh. nicely done. It gives me great pleasure to set aside my niggling suspicions and revel in the professed originality of your fluent lines. Such wit and insight has ne'er before been claimed or asserted in all of Mudcat land!!




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:39 AM

The old oaken bucket,
That iron-bound bucket
The old oaken bucket
That hung in the well.

The old open well stoup
And the old outhouse nigh it
That gave all the family
Cholera and hell.

(CHORUS)

Typhoid, dysentery,
Diarrhea, dental caries,
From the old oaken bucket
That hung in the well.


THERE! Are you satisfied now? I've done gone and rewrote your favorite song of all time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 09 - 09:23 AM

In absolute and complete Truth, Amos: you go right ahead. They are both original!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

I've never read "The Old Oaken Bucket" all the way through; even in the fourth grade it was too sappy and saccharine for me. If there are ANY influences of TOOB in them it's very, very unconscious.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 11:21 PM

Well, not at all, sir; I was going to comment on the vast improvement in your talent of late, but that's just because , aside from old Sam Woodworth's The Old Oaken Bucket, I still have to track down the original owners of those talents. I don't know why I bother trying to chastise your pilfering ways. You told us from the start you used an inveterate fence.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:34 PM

My song writing skills have left Amos and everyone else quite speechless.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 09 - 10:06 PM

Sure it's the same old arthroscope
Me daddy brought from Ireland
He used it all the time o'er there
He made folks' lives full sore
He might have made them miserable
But he never was a bore.

At the bootheen in the early Spring
He'd pull the arthroscope out
And show the lads and lassies 'round
What they were all about
He's fix up many sorts of things
His arthroscope he'd flout.

But he did roam from his native home
In the year of ninety-eight
Forced out by the Black and Tans
And other stuff he'd drank
And over in Amerikay
He'd drink until he stank.

He pawned the old arthroscope
To pay for his rotgut booze
My mother got it out of pawn
By means both foul and fair
And now I have it at my house
It sits upon the lawn.


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