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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 11 Nov 07 - 07:19 PM
Acme 11 Nov 07 - 05:39 PM
Rapparee 11 Nov 07 - 05:39 PM
Amos 11 Nov 07 - 12:47 PM
Amos 11 Nov 07 - 11:10 AM
Acme 11 Nov 07 - 11:10 AM
Rapparee 11 Nov 07 - 07:10 AM
Janie 11 Nov 07 - 01:26 AM
Acme 11 Nov 07 - 01:05 AM
Janie 11 Nov 07 - 12:12 AM
Amos 10 Nov 07 - 10:49 PM
Little Hawk 10 Nov 07 - 10:13 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 07 - 09:28 PM
Amos 10 Nov 07 - 09:16 PM
Rapparee 10 Nov 07 - 09:06 PM
Amos 10 Nov 07 - 05:42 PM
Amos 10 Nov 07 - 11:46 AM
Acme 10 Nov 07 - 12:31 AM
Amos 09 Nov 07 - 05:28 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 07 - 04:23 PM
Amos 09 Nov 07 - 03:28 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 07 - 02:36 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 07 - 02:36 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 07 - 02:35 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 07 - 02:34 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 07 - 02:33 PM
Rapparee 09 Nov 07 - 02:27 PM
Amos 09 Nov 07 - 11:56 AM
Acme 09 Nov 07 - 10:08 AM
Amos 09 Nov 07 - 10:03 AM
Rapparee 09 Nov 07 - 08:25 AM
Acme 09 Nov 07 - 12:12 AM
Rapparee 09 Nov 07 - 12:01 AM
Amos 08 Nov 07 - 11:04 PM
Acme 08 Nov 07 - 05:24 PM
Little Hawk 08 Nov 07 - 04:56 PM
Amos 08 Nov 07 - 04:20 PM
MMario 08 Nov 07 - 03:36 PM
MMario 08 Nov 07 - 03:32 PM
Little Hawk 08 Nov 07 - 03:06 PM
MMario 08 Nov 07 - 02:53 PM
Little Hawk 08 Nov 07 - 02:46 PM
Rapparee 08 Nov 07 - 02:44 PM
Amos 08 Nov 07 - 01:07 PM
Amos 08 Nov 07 - 11:26 AM
MMario 08 Nov 07 - 11:26 AM
Acme 08 Nov 07 - 11:20 AM
Amos 08 Nov 07 - 11:14 AM
MMario 08 Nov 07 - 08:11 AM
Rapparee 08 Nov 07 - 07:03 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 07:19 PM

Having spent yesterday traveling from Pittsburgh to Pocatello (and having my luggage arrive a couple hours after I did), Mom doesn't care that I sort of took today off. Tomorrow I will celebrate Veterans' Day by replacing the bulb in the pole lamp out front, doing laundry, etc.

I've also been contemplating cowboy movies. For example, Vic Virtue, sheriff and all-around do-gooder, hitches up his gunbelt, loosens his .45 in the holster, adjusts his hat, and steps into the dusty street to face down Badass Berty, the blackguard who, even though he's faster on the draw, also kicks kittens and deliberately spills babies' milk.

Now, both of them have their six-shootin' .45s ready to go and both a pretty good shots at, say, 15 yards (you could actually hit the other guy with rock at that distance). Both of them have at least fifty extra cartridges in their hand-tooled pistol belts.

Here's the question: what makes anyone think that either will have to reload? Apart from the fact that nobody reloads in cowboy movies unless the script calls for it, that is. So why carry all that extra weight in bullets on your belt?

Or am I just reached the stage where my "willing suspension of disbelief" isn't all that willing anymore?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 05:39 PM

The last of the tomatoes came off of the super fantastic plant yesterday, so the plant came out today. After I mowed the lawn I moved a couple of things that needed transplanting to their new homes. I still have a big bed to dig for the irises, but everything that was in the way is now moved. MOM got out in the yard with the spade fork and softened up the area where I transplanted the Nana nandina. I made a loaf of bread and baked a sweet potato and now I'm headed out to buy a couple of chickens before I spend the evening filing and doing laundry.

I hope the rest of you got something worthwhile done today. MOM likes it when you work hard enough on the weekend that you feel like you have to go to work on Monday to rest up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 05:39 PM

Go forth, Amos, your sins are forgiven. Do your damnedest not to sin too much more, 'cause you're getting to the age where it gets harder and harder to think up a really good one that you haven't already committed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 12:47 PM

Of wild ideas we have great store,
And notions have we plenty;
So here, with one madcap post more,
Comes 20-five-and-twenty!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 11:10 AM

Oh, Rapaire, you have such a cruel streak.

I shot one once with a .22 rifle in the Connecticut woods, and I was despondent for, oh, minutes, anyway.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 11:10 AM

It's easier to pick them up as roadkill.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 07:10 AM

There's not a lot of meat on 'em, but what there is is pretty good. I'd just take off what I could after cleaning the little buggers (keep the skins if you want; squirrel can make a nice lining for gloves), flour it, and cook it up into a meat-laden gravy. Serve it over biscuits.

Don't eat the brains on toast like them folks in Kentucky did. Probably best to wear to rubber or nitrile gloves when you clean 'em.

A .22 or an air rifle is all you need to shoot them, because if you use a shotgun like some folks do you'll be pickin' shot outa the meat. Not something awful, but it'll slow you down some.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 01:26 AM

Who?

Me?

Slow?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 01:05 AM

Was that a delayed response to the photo I posted, Janie?

I'm getting ready to put a new roof on the house, squirrel-proof soffit vents, and try to find a squirrel-proof bird feeder. I enjoy squirrels, but prefer to keep them at arm's length. Little bastard who hung on the outer grill of my "squirrel-proof" bird feeder finally destroyed it this fall. Mostly the plastic seed holder was pretty old, but that little guy likes taking credit for trashing the feeder.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 12:12 AM

Squirrels...life's little speed bumps...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 10:49 PM

We were discussing whether you might have turned into a Blue-Assed Laggard, LH...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 10:13 PM

Huh? Oh, I guess you guys are missing me, right? Sorry about that. I got busy with other stuff. What was it you were saying?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 09:28 PM

Well, I heard that because them Canadians spend all their time at Tim Horton's they get all covered with a film of grease and if they aren't careful one day they just sorta Slide South and before they know it they're wintering in Phoenix or Florida or San Diego or Schenectady or someplace. Of course, with the discrepancy in the value of the dollar they DO employ US folks as gardeners and maids and houseboys so it's not all bad, I guess.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 09:16 PM

I hope LH wasn't among his take, Rapaire. Watch out for him, won't you? They sometimes slip across the border.

It's the fast food, I think.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 09:06 PM

I'm back home now, and I gotta tell ya, my neighbor was out waterfowling and showed me what he'd taken. I have seldom seen such a fine bunch of Blue-Assed Laggards, certainly not since I've been out here. Of course, he shot the legal limit and only used non-lead shot, but I gotta tell ya, I was impressed. If the Blue-Assed Laggards are that good this year I just may go get a license and a stamp and go get me some...them's GOOD eatin'!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 05:42 PM

...unless Little Hawk turns out to be a blue-assed laggard.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 11:46 AM

There's more BS still to come. Mother will not be denied, gainsaid, suppressed, undone, defeated, or undersold.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Nov 07 - 12:31 AM

Hey, Mom! You're slipping down toward the bottom! Let me help you onto the top bunk. It'll be more comfortable (and Amos or Rapaire won't accidentally sit on you if they come stumbling in late.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 05:28 PM

I think that opinion is not shared by 87% of the residents of Pittsburgh, who oughta know.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 04:23 PM

Hey, ya gotta do SOMETHING in Pittsburgh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 03:28 PM

You Turkey Buzzard!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 02:36 PM

20502 as well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 02:36 PM

the palindromic


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 02:35 PM

20,500 and


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 02:34 PM

I'll just take


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 02:33 PM

Maybe


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 02:27 PM

Your having Commie squirrels do the work. Out in Idaho, we'd jist flatten them little Commie suckers asses and use THEM as shingles.

And get good American squirrels to do the work, too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 11:56 AM

Don't let them get away with that; lying in the road doesn't get any shingles laid, you know. You're not paying them to take suicide breaks, after all! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 10:08 AM

I think the three of us who visited that link must have exhausted the server. Oh, well. It was cute while it lasted. I don't think I want to reenact it, though we do have our share of willing squirrel volunteers to lie in the road.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 10:03 AM

Amazing ability to support two contradictory ideas without even wrinkling.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 08:25 AM

GI Joe shoots commie squirrels!       That'll make my friends in the John Birch Society happy...they think that all squirrels are commie plots.

Well, I really don't think I know any Birchers, come to think of it. But there are some of the local Republicans who will be delighted.

BTW, our mayor hasjoined 700+ other mayors and dedicated the city to    attracting"green"                                                                                                                         businesses AND exceeding the Kyoto protocols.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 12:12 AM

They do get hurt and killed sometimes, but it takes a lot to take them out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Nov 07 - 12:01 AM

So you'd hire a bunch of Commie squirrels and leave honest American squirrels to starve! Kinda thing you'd expect from SoCal folks....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 11:04 PM

I'd go with the Big Red Texas Squirrel gang, if you think they can lay the courses down straight. For one thing, they have those little paws, they have good balance, and they usually don't get hurt f they fall.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 05:24 PM

Glad to see you have that problem well in hand, LH.

No ducks for the roof? Then I'll to draft someone else to organize the workers. My choices are: squirrels (the big red Texas variety), coyotes, opossums, foxes, raccoons, buzzards, woodpeckers, owls, hawks, the list could get long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 04:56 PM

Oh, I see. It's for releasing them, eh? Well, that's a relief. I do not have to lay out some ridiculous amount of cash then, as I do not require the codpiece after all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 04:20 PM

I am skeptical about LH needing an Extra Large codpiece. Unless he wants to put LEJ's harmonica in it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 03:36 PM

y'see, LH - you have fallen prey to the major misconception about codpieces. They were not for *storing* of cods - they were for the easy *releasing* of same.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 03:32 PM

wooden boxes are traditional - though barrels and sacks have been used.

Or you could just nail it to a wall.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 03:06 PM

I have an extra large cod here, and I need something to store it in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 02:53 PM

whyfor? (They aren't that hard to find)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 02:46 PM

Anyone know where I can acquire a extra large size codpiece? They don't appear to have any in the Sears or the L.L.Bean catalogs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 02:44 PM

Amos, I know that you are really an escapee from Area 51. That you got out before they could autopsy you    and that                                                                                                                                    you then assumed your current identity so that the MIBs couldn't find you. But your secret is safe with Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 01:07 PM

I am sure Rapaire would be happy to find you some out of work Pittsburghians who would be glad to come to Texas and work for minimum wage just to getout of the cold...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 11:26 AM

Just a tip from one who has been there, Mag: do not use ducks for this work! The lack of opposable thumbs causes too many accidents, and the rough shingles wear their little beaks out.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 11:26 AM

Well no wonder it's taking so long to get your roof fixed, Stilly!

Ducks just aren't cut out for roofing labour! (If you don't believe me - remember the cartoon whe3re Donald tried to roof a building? Pure disaster!)

Try to line up some woodpeckers - or maybe some pigs (though they tend to work in straw or twigs)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 11:20 AM

Gorgeous day today, Mom! And I'm getting my ducks lined up to put on a new roof. Maybe some of the work can begin next week. I'll have you sit a little off to one side so you're not disturbed by the falling shingles or dropped nails.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 11:14 AM

I am more than happy for you to believe that I am a spy for Microsoft, Rapaire, a conviction I can only attribute to breathing in Pittsburgh. But it is fine, it keeps my REAL identity all the more secure.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 08:11 AM

Rapaire - while you are in Pittsburgh - remmember; don't drink the water, take shallow breaths and for gods sakes if you touch anything wipe your hands down with disinfectant afterwards!

The food, however is perfectly fine.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Nov 07 - 07:03 AM

Ah-HA! Amos is a spy for Microsoft! Probably going to be the next CIO!


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