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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 29 Jan 07 - 05:09 PM
Amos 29 Jan 07 - 02:49 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM
Acme 29 Jan 07 - 10:02 AM
Rapparee 29 Jan 07 - 09:45 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Jan 07 - 07:12 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 07 - 04:55 PM
Acme 28 Jan 07 - 03:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Jan 07 - 01:40 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 07 - 01:25 PM
Amos 28 Jan 07 - 01:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 28 Jan 07 - 01:15 PM
Amos 28 Jan 07 - 12:47 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 07 - 12:19 PM
Amos 28 Jan 07 - 11:56 AM
Acme 28 Jan 07 - 11:39 AM
Rapparee 28 Jan 07 - 09:06 AM
Acme 28 Jan 07 - 01:43 AM
Rapparee 27 Jan 07 - 10:11 PM
Amos 27 Jan 07 - 07:13 PM
Rapparee 27 Jan 07 - 06:16 PM
Acme 27 Jan 07 - 11:25 AM
Rapparee 27 Jan 07 - 11:15 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 27 Jan 07 - 01:47 AM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 11:34 PM
JennyO 26 Jan 07 - 09:46 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 06:12 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 06:07 PM
Amos 26 Jan 07 - 05:05 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 07 - 04:59 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 04:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 07 - 03:52 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 03:15 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 02:39 PM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 02:32 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 01:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 07 - 12:28 PM
MMario 26 Jan 07 - 12:07 PM
Acme 26 Jan 07 - 12:06 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 07 - 12:02 PM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 11:21 AM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 11:06 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 26 Jan 07 - 10:27 AM
Acme 26 Jan 07 - 10:03 AM
Amos 26 Jan 07 - 09:32 AM
Rapparee 26 Jan 07 - 09:00 AM
MMario 26 Jan 07 - 08:35 AM
Bunnahabhain 26 Jan 07 - 05:20 AM
Acme 26 Jan 07 - 12:08 AM
Rapparee 25 Jan 07 - 06:56 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 05:09 PM

Mooooooom!!!!!!

This site has a lot of my favorite words in it and says they're all pompous-ass words!! I hate them!! Can I sue 'em? Can I? Huh? Huh?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 02:49 PM

I understand, though, that they CAN be eaten in an emergency, with a light sauce and grated breadcrumbs to offset the poor texture. An extra-long marination will help, also.

The small portable ones are life-savers. Or, at least, vaguely related to life-savers. No-one has ever named a candy of any kind "Air Hose", I know, but perhaps someone should. With kids today there's no telling what will sell.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 12:24 PM

I dunno about elsewhere in the US, but out here in Idaho ya gotta throw them kind back 'cause they're under the size limit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 10:02 AM

On Car Talk this weekend they had a caller from Paris, France, wanting to know if she should bring her Morris mini over to the states. The one "with tires so small you can almost blow them up with your mouth." (The concensus was that this car was a death trap over here.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 07 - 09:45 AM

We've got a baby one to inflate an air mattress, but it doesn't get much exercise. Mostly it stays in its travel crate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 07:12 PM

I should probably get a couple of those pet airhoses too. One for each car. Oh, I have a couple of airhoses, but they're more like livestock than pets. You can't take them for a ride in the car or anything.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 04:55 PM

I've thought about getting one as a pet, but right now I just track down the wild ones. I may use 'em, but I'd never, ever, eat one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 03:12 PM

I have a little airhose seedling under the back seat of my pickup. A tiny compressor and pressure guage that plugs into my lighter (I actually have three lighter thingies and one lighter, which is never used. The ash tray is where I keep my sweet-n-low and splenda for drive-in ice tea in the summer). Anyway, that miniature compressor has been a huge help several times. I bought a good used one at an estate sale last summer, so when my daughter eventually gets her own car she can have her own compressor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 01:40 PM

The predominant convenience store chain in our area, a regional chain called Tom Thumb Stores, has been somewhat of a refuge for free airhoses for years. Unfortunately, they were recently bought out by the Kroeger grocery chain, so I wouldn't be surprised to see those free airhoses rounded up and caged in boxes that say "AIR 50˘" before long.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 01:25 PM

There's three wild airhoses within a mile of where I sit. Even more within five miles. This may be a wild hose sanctuary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 01:18 PM

Hosers of the world, unite!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 01:15 PM

Hi, Mom! Just in case anyone cares, today is

National Airhose Day!!!

Yes, it's the day when we show our appreciation for the lowly airhose. With the demise of the neighborhood service station, the free airhose is now on the edge of extinction. Sure, there are plenty of convenience stores and such that sell air from air vending machines, but those are captive airhoses, not free. And many of us have our own air compressors and airhoses, but those are domesticated airhoses, not wild and free.

So, if you happen to be driving around today and think, "Hmmm.... When's the list time I checked my tire pressure?" and if, by chance, the place you stop for air has a free airhose, be sure to salute it. It's one of a dying breed.

"Airhoses! Because when you need an airhose, a panty hose just won't do!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 12:47 PM

I'll give you some hands for that silly remark, Rapaire, but not a bit more. And I ain't looking in your mouth no matter what. It would just stirrup trouble. There are some things I consider too tack-y, and they make me bridle, that's the mane thing. But flanks for the trial. Remember, choose your help wisely -- what gymkhana do, Joe will handle with ease. C'mon down to the dressage at 1:00 this afternoon, an' don' be late, gait.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 12:19 PM

I didn't know they started kids in dressage that young. Short stirrups, I suppose?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 11:56 AM

Beside, you left out the most relevant part of the horse!!

Speaking of which we are going to see a friends "New Lady Day" -- a two year old, I think-- show in her first dressage this afternoon. It should be most interesting -- "New" is a lovely horse.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 11:39 AM

Whoa, big fella! Watch coaching all of those puns in a pair of sentences. I've got to hand it to you, but just remember you're not the only punster here--you're not the Lone Arranger.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 09:06 AM

I don't do things by hoofs. Wither I hackamore on the computer or study something like the reins of English monarchs, I just trot right along.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jan 07 - 01:43 AM

That's our Rapaire--minding the mane chance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 10:11 PM

I am refraining from being a series of puns about horse-related things. I cantle bring myself to do even one bit, nor can I stirrup the energy, so I'll just quirt.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 07:13 PM

Sorry, but I am not in the bermuda mess around with grasses, he said ryely.

Nor in the remuda to talk to horses...

Anyway, I have plenty of grass, here in Southern California. It's a little worn in spots, and constantly needs trimming, but it covers the ground.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 06:16 PM

He'd have been blue, Stilly. Besides, one doesn't mention "grass" to a person from SoCal. They get all excited and ask if you have any.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 11:25 AM

Hey, Amos, I saw what you did! You ran out of cereal puns so you introduced dairy and herb in their place. Whey and oregano, indeed! You'd have done better to switch into the turf grasses, then your obfescueation would have gone undetected.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 11:15 AM

Are they available in silver, preferably in the Rambler Rose pattern? I'm afraid that I can't eat with anything less.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 27 Jan 07 - 01:47 AM

Hi, Mom! Guess what today is! Why, it's

National Spork Day!!!

Upon this day, all Moabites are encouraged to eschew conventional silverware and eat all meals using only sporks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 11:34 PM

I have just returned from a Legion meeting, now that things have dried out some. They are planning to build a railroad to the Hovel, so that beer and such stuff can be hauled up in tank-car loads. What's being planned is a circular line from the mainline off to the Hovel and then back down. The engine would pull a line of full tank cars up, and move 'em forward as they are emptied. When they reach the mainline again they'll be disconnected from the Legion Hovel, Western, Eastern, Southern, Northern and Corn Creek Rail Road (LHWESN&CCRR) and returned to sender for a refill. In exchange a full car will be coupled to the end of the train and a FRED installed on it.

The vote was overwhelmingly in favor of this plan, and was announced by the usual hoots, hollers, and shooting out of nearby streetlights.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 09:46 PM

I'll raise you $5 for that pair of Earls, the Baronet, the Viscount and the God-King, and I'll see you.

(I've got a full house - MWUHAHAHAHA!)

I've also got some of these , and I'm not afraid to use them!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 06:12 PM

I've got a pair of Earls, a Baronet, I'm sure there's a Viscount down the back of the sofa somewhere, and the God-King in exile of a small South Pacific Island mainly populated by headhunters.

But no Dukes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 06:07 PM

Put up yer dukes! C'mon, c'mon, put 'em up!

Didn't think so....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 05:05 PM

You guys may be going against the grain for a seedy sot like Rapaire. Millet over and change your wheys, oregano up and whack you-all.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 04:59 PM

But, underneath, he's a real sWHEAT guy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 04:27 PM

And every morning he's a CEREAL killer....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 03:52 PM

I don't see why Rapaire would object to being called "BARLEY dressed". He has a RYE sense of humour. Oh, he'll get HOPping mad every now and then, if someone gets his gOAT, and he'll go sit in CORNer and MILLET over. But then he'll RICE back up ' cause he's a guy who can take a little FLAX.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 03:15 PM

There are examples here. Here's
another.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 02:39 PM

I noticed after I'd hit submit that I had Barley dressed Rapiere. I'm not sure I want to know how you dress somebody in a cereal crop, but know all too well that that is the kind of question that gets answered round here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 02:32 PM

They generally a light golden colour, rectangular, and always contain an amount of ground coconut, and have 'NICE' stamped into them. As we now appear to be talking about barley dressed Idaho Liberians , i hope they're not the same thing....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 01:04 PM

Well, I have a photo of myself on a nude beach in Biarritz, if that means anything.

Yessir, the air temperature was about 40F and there was a brisk wind off the Atlantic and that beach was plumb nude. I was wearing a sweater and a parka, among other things....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 12:28 PM

Some of us have nice biscuits, Bunn, but I don't think we're talking abut the same thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 12:07 PM

SRS - you take all the time you want - I'm sending my visual cortex out for a scrubbing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 12:06 PM

Let us take a moment to visualize that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 12:02 PM

See? If you had gone to Nice, you wouldn't have needed underwear! You could have bought a cute little Speedo weenie bikini and worn it, and nothing else, the entire time you were there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 11:21 AM

I had a nice niece in Nice. I think that's where British Airways sent my luggage when I went to France. Oh, wait. That was Nimes. Totally different place, where they have an aquaduct (which the Romans built and which, for some reason, doesn't go any where) and where the people don't lay around getting brown and wasting money all the time. My baggage ORIGINALLY when to Bangkok. It made it from DC to Heathrow, but somehow got on the plane to Thailand while I went to Paris and then to Avignon (yes, I've been on the bridge there but I didn't dance because the sign said "Pas de deux" which means "No dancing" in French and besides, that bridge ends abruptly in the middle of the river). So BA found my luggage in Bangkok and flew it back to London and then to Paris and then to Nimes and had it delivered by van to my hotel in Avignon, and I finally had some clean underwear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 11:06 AM

Are Nice biscuits obligatory on a nice day, or don't they make it over the Atlantic? I found various UK related websites obsessing over biscuits, without any actual information content in them.....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 10:27 AM

Hi, Mom! Today is

Nice Day!!!

Yes, when people tell you to "Have a Nice Day!" this is the day they're talking about! Nice Day is the day when we observe the importance of the French city of Nice. Yeah, we know it's pronounced like "niece", but it's not our problem if supermarket cashiers are ignorant. Nice is the fifth largest city in France, with a population of 993,000 people, and is hot shit with people who believe spending money to turn brown is a prerequisite for Nirvana. Nice is near Cannes and Monaco where people with even more money waste it on similarly ill-conceived attempts at self-actualization.

Have a Nice Day!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 10:03 AM

Everyone, Duck!















maybe he's actually a quacker


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 09:32 AM

I am neither cracker nor hacker, good Rapaire, but a fakir. One who pretends to do mystical things by means of computers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 09:00 AM

"Hack" is computerese for "knocking out code" or "programming like crazy." I assume that Amos knows how to do this and is a premier hacker.

(Those who break into other people's computers are called "crackers", no matter WHAT the press says. They are also criminals and should have painful things done to them.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 08:35 AM

Rap said:

    höggva -- to hew or carve

       Amos! You don't know how to hack??


Well, (and I will probably regret this) there are some who would say Amos *is* a hack; not that I would ever contemplate such a sentiment.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 05:20 AM

Thought for the day....

How many halls must a man ring round, before he finds space to dance?



At the moment, seven and counting...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 Jan 07 - 12:08 AM

Don't even mention it. That damned chewing tobacco usurped a perfectly good word!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Jan 07 - 06:56 PM

Yes, Skoal is good. So is Copenhagen and Grizzly, I'm told. Me, I smoked a pipe and never got into that smokeless tobacco stuff.


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