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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 28 Jun 06 - 01:35 AM
Rapparee 28 Jun 06 - 12:19 AM
Amos 27 Jun 06 - 11:43 PM
Acme 27 Jun 06 - 08:51 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 06 - 08:49 PM
Acme 27 Jun 06 - 08:48 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 06 - 08:47 PM
Acme 27 Jun 06 - 08:46 PM
Acme 27 Jun 06 - 08:46 PM
Acme 27 Jun 06 - 08:45 PM
Acme 27 Jun 06 - 08:45 PM
Acme 27 Jun 06 - 08:44 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 06 - 08:44 PM
Amos 27 Jun 06 - 08:37 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 06 - 08:37 PM
Amos 27 Jun 06 - 08:27 PM
Amos 27 Jun 06 - 08:24 PM
Amos 27 Jun 06 - 08:17 PM
Little Hawk 27 Jun 06 - 08:05 PM
GUEST,SRS 27 Jun 06 - 07:51 PM
Amos 27 Jun 06 - 07:40 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 06 - 06:51 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 04:28 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 04:09 PM
Bunnahabhain 27 Jun 06 - 04:00 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 03:56 PM
*Laura* 27 Jun 06 - 03:53 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 03:52 PM
Bunnahabhain 27 Jun 06 - 03:47 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 03:47 PM
Bunnahabhain 27 Jun 06 - 03:44 PM
Bunnahabhain 27 Jun 06 - 03:43 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 03:43 PM
Bunnahabhain 27 Jun 06 - 03:42 PM
Bunnahabhain 27 Jun 06 - 03:41 PM
Desert Dancer 27 Jun 06 - 03:13 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 03:12 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 03:11 PM
Bunnahabhain 27 Jun 06 - 03:08 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 02:59 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 06 - 02:51 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 02:48 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 02:42 PM
Amos 27 Jun 06 - 02:40 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 02:27 PM
Acme 27 Jun 06 - 02:20 PM
MMario 27 Jun 06 - 02:18 PM
Acme 27 Jun 06 - 02:17 PM
Rapparee 27 Jun 06 - 01:59 PM
Bunnahabhain 27 Jun 06 - 01:22 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 06 - 01:35 AM

Onward, onward, to 15K!
Onward, onward we sing!
Beyond 15 lies 20 and more
It is nothing, it means not a thing.

Dear MOAB commands us,
BS drives us on,
Courage and Truth are our keys,
Tho' freds roil around us,
Tho' our foes us assail,
We shall never fall to our knees!

Through blistering hail and shivering sun,
Through floods, tempest, and quake
Dear MOAB stills call us,
We shall answer her call
Tho' we've nothing to eat but a hake.

Then onward! And upward! On to 200K!
Three hundred! A billion or more!
MOAB commands us and we shall obey
And BS will live evermore!!

         -- Chauncey Kincaid, Poems Old and New, 1903.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 06 - 12:19 AM

And she did it all alone! Bravely pushing forward where no man dared to go, holding high her banner (reading, of course, "Exclesior!"), wading through shoulder-deep swamp water crawling with water moccasins and alligators, sleet driving against her skin like needles from a high pressure hose, her eyebrows and hair brittle with rime, fighting off exhaustion tho' every step bid her lay down and surrender to the arms of Morpheus, rappelling down cliffs thousands of feet high with only a bit of fishing line instead of rope, the Mongol Hordes releasing their swarms of poison-tipped arrows, she won through and posted the 13,000th post!

Mom is proud of you. You may have dessert.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 11:43 PM

Bravo, boys, and here's to the fair and frabjous Daughter of Folk who carried us over the top. Halloo, caloo, callay, a frabjous day! What would we do without that Sage?

Thanks, Maggie! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:51 PM

Filing that last report from the department of redundancy department. Now off to cook the rest of the meal. Then back to my computer stuff. Good thing it's so hot out that I don't want to go outdoors or anything. Tomorrow evening should be different--I'm getting my attic ceiling (the bottom of the decking) painted with a special paint to reflect 75% of the heat. I'm looking forward to that!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:49 PM

Your dogs slobber in tents? I don't want them camping with me then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:48 PM

Geez, Louise. You want sompin' done, you gotta do it yourself.

Don't bother the dogs if you come over for dinner. This time of year their slobber is so intense you have to wash your hands for ages before you can get it off of your hands.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:47 PM

I'm working on the house, getting it in some sort of shape before Pat gets home. Gotta throw out the old cigar butts and empty Thunderbird bottles, get the thongs off the ceiling fan, stuff like that.

Her plane was delayed leaving BWI and she may miss her connection from SLC, that would put her in sometime after midnight.

That's okay though. She really, really needs to get back here before she goes back to DC in, hopefully, two weeks or so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:46 PM

You're heavy, MOM!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:46 PM

Lifting lifting lifting. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:45 PM

As soon as we move all of the computer paraphernalia off of it, that is. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:45 PM

I'll have the kids set extra spots at the table.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:44 PM

I finished cooking the rice and making the guacamole (to freeze) and pretty soon I have to put the chops on and stir fry the rice. Aren't you all eating dinner tonight?

Cold water, Rap, even works on duck dogs.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:44 PM

That damned duckdog has left piles of...antimatter...everywhere! Why in the world can't that malhound be Universe-broken? Wait, no, the Heisenberg stuff just kicked in and the piles and puddles are gone without a trace. Stupid critter damned near gave me a heart attack.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:37 PM

And when I go, and write no more
And the burden must be shiftin'
I'll go in peace, for I know I've done
My share of heavy lifting.
I've stirred and hauled and lifted Mom,
And fed her fine compost
And I hope I'm still around to see
That holy, bright milepost --
The Thirteen Thousandth Post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:37 PM

That's pretty danged good, Amos. I'm not trying for the Big 13K, but holy shit Gluon stop humpin' my leg you goddamn horny

Quark! Quark!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:27 PM

Just nine were left, but not a soul
Of those whom Mother raised
Could think of anything to say
They were numbed, and dulled, and fazed.
And even Gluon, bless his soul,
For all his verve and spark
Could not, for those who mattered most,
Raise up a single Quark
Or a Thirteen Thousandth post!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:24 PM

Sweet Laura sang, and faded off,
And MM took up the cross.
"We're only ten to go! To fail,
Would be a bitter loss!"
So he dreamed about a drummer boy
Who dined on cheap pork roast.
And posted that. But still none saw
The Thirteen Thousandth Post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:17 PM

Then up stepped sour Little Hawk
ANd he tried hard to sashay!
"You're all depraved! Your work is dross!"
He started out to say.
He thought he'd bring in Shatner
Or his fat and shimmering ghost.
But for the talk of Little Hawk,
Of Deity, grace, and Host,
Not a single saw had seen a trace
Of that Thirteen Thousandth post.

The gracious form of Still was seen
All svelte and shapely looking
But she had no time for foolish rhymes,
When dinner needed cooking.
So the town-folk stood in dull respect,
In cyber-cold glasznost
And wondered who or what might bring
The end to thir imposte --
That Thirteen Thousandth Post.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 08:05 PM

The only thing that can redeem this cesspool of depravity and uninspired dross is a visit from Mr Shatner. That's what I'm thinking.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,SRS
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 07:51 PM

I'm back home, MOM, but on the other computer. Glad to see these guys haven't gotten too stirred up. I have to go start cooking the rice. Moonglow has finished washing it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 07:40 PM

strain thou thouself,
Surely you mean strain thee, thyself, (or thine own self)

but e'en rupture thou!

Perhaps "rupture thee" might do better

And then thou will find not only that thou are weeping

Normal usage requires "thou art"

and gnashing teeth but lying in the roadsides, and in the gutters, and amidst whitened sepulchres, busily straining out gnats and swallowing camels!

Mayhap straining at gnats?

Woe to ye, I say, and woe unto the womb that bore thee and the breasts that gave thee suck, suckers!

Prefer "ye" so the plurals are in agreement.

and the men amongst thou won't care for that one little bit!

One can only assume "amongst you" is intended.

And thou wilt suffer the fire that is never quenched and the beer that quenches not, unless thou restoreth unto Mother the quality that is verily and truly her due!

Prefer "quencheth not".


So kneel and beg her forgiveness and promise never to do it again and maybe, just maybe, Mother will let you have dessert tonight.

Why bother -- it's just desserts?

And they strove and strained and overbore,
And bored e'en overmore
And gnashed their teeth and rambled far,
And hissed and cursed and swore.
And each one vowed he would peak the lot,
Each one would post the most!
But the dust went down, and the darkling town,
Still lacked what they sought the most --
The Thirteen Thousandth Post!

Then up did step our bold Rapaire
With vim and vigor shining,
ANd he loudly said he'd do the trick
With Elizabethan whining
But he botched the case, and the nouns and verbs
And the "thees" and "thines" were toast
And when he lay down, pale from his round,
No-one had seeen the ghost
Of the Thirteen Thousandth Post!

Fair Bunnhabain took up the train,
And spouted like a swivel
But he torched his soul at the firing hole
ANd what came forth was drivel.
ANd the rest of the crowd stood and sighed aloud,
And the air bore ne'er a boast
For though deep the night, there was never a sight
From the rivers to the coast,
Of that Thirteen Thousandth Post!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 06:51 PM

Oh, how the quality has fallen! Woe unto ye, ye who drag the quality of BS through a sieve so that it is strained! For MOAB will surely not only strain thou thouself, but e'en rupture thou! And then thou will find not only that thou are weeping and gnashing teeth but lying in the roadsides, and in the gutters, and amidst whitened sepulchres, busily straining out gnats and swallowing camels! Woe to ye, I say, and woe unto the womb that bore thee and the breasts that gave thee suck, suckers! For in that time ye shall have no recourse but to be numbered amidst the sheep and goats awaiting branding, for with the branding comes the cutting and the men amongst thou won't care for that one little bit! And thou wilt suffer the fire that is never quenched and the beer that quenches not, unless thou restoreth unto Mother the quality that is verily and truly her due!

So kneel and beg her forgiveness and promise never to do it again and maybe, just maybe, Mother will let you have dessert tonight.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 04:28 PM

fifteen


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 04:09 PM

I don't think that is necessary. YOu could be posting page after page of repetitious cut and paste quotes. That would be truly nont in the spirit of things, but you have been terse, but properly conversational.

On the other hand, none of this has really been quality BS if you know what I mean.

so - in an effort to raise the BS level...ahem.....

I was researching percussion instruments the other day and came across a fascinating monograph of a pioneer in big band music, Efrem Cympalist, JR., whose technique was considered, in his day, to be unbeatable.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 04:00 PM

Oh well. Shall I ask Joe to remove those out of spirit posts then?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:56 PM

I remember that day...it was a whim really - who ever thought that some day we would be watching, misty eyed, as the MOAB head for 13000.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: *Laura*
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:53 PM

i feel proud to have been at Mudcat when this thread began. (as I'm sure do many of you)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:52 PM

no - it really isn't. what possible answer is there to this dillema


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:47 PM

Making repeated short posts just isn't in the right spirit, is it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:47 PM

i'm in mudcat zone


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:44 PM

What time zone are you in?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:43 PM

Maybe


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:43 PM

maybe?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:42 PM

No


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:41 PM

Yes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:13 PM

was + __

'bye!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:12 PM

thirty


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:11 PM

I don't know how Rapaire inserted the 'te' -

The rude response, (which since MOM raised me correctly I won't use) would be "sideways".

I would suggest an edit button - but that might risk a visitation by The Shambles.

Anyone think we can hit 13000 by 4:30 when I go home?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 03:08 PM

How do you insert the te? The only place that makes sense in conventional English generates Mathematical problems instead. Of course neither apply consistantly round here, but I'm still puzzled. Not that this is anything new....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 02:59 PM

oh! almost forgot. At the wedding I sang at Saturday - one of the gifts the bride and groom got was a wooden pestle like vase-like object - and they looked at each other and said "Spatula crock!!!" - because they have an entire drawer full of spatulas. Made me homesick for the cat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 02:51 PM

I inserted the 'te' and now I can't sit still.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 02:48 PM

please note that I manfully refrained from saying "insert where necessary" or even "insert where needed".

Mom raised me right.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 02:42 PM

here's the "te" missing from the previous post. Insert as necessary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 02:40 PM

I agree the question "Why was 10,000 posts?" is confusing, MMario, but I think the confusion started when you posed the question! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 02:27 PM

on the other hand - that could really get confusing - why was 10,000 posts?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 02:20 PM

Maybe MOAB will be like a hotel and skip straight to 14,000.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 02:18 PM

Now that is Art Carne


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 02:17 PM

Sock it to ya!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 01:59 PM

Good Lord! If that's what you pay for socks in Scotland what do you pay for shoes?? I'm not even buying a simple sgain dhu at those prices!

The Bank of Scotland is beaming television messages at me, trying to subvert me and corrupt my mind. So far it hasn't worked.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 27 Jun 06 - 01:22 PM

Ha! Match these!
I knew they were expensive, but OUCH!


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