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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Bee-dubya-ell 17 Feb 06 - 10:49 PM
Little Hawk 17 Feb 06 - 10:40 PM
Tweed 17 Feb 06 - 10:29 PM
Amos 17 Feb 06 - 07:08 PM
Amos 17 Feb 06 - 03:51 PM
John MacKenzie 17 Feb 06 - 03:30 PM
Amos 17 Feb 06 - 03:28 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 06 - 03:08 PM
John MacKenzie 17 Feb 06 - 03:05 PM
John MacKenzie 17 Feb 06 - 03:04 PM
Rustic Rebel 17 Feb 06 - 02:58 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 06 - 02:54 PM
Acme 17 Feb 06 - 02:52 PM
Amos 17 Feb 06 - 01:29 PM
Acme 17 Feb 06 - 01:08 PM
Rapparee 17 Feb 06 - 10:56 AM
Acme 16 Feb 06 - 10:58 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 06 - 09:53 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 06 - 09:43 PM
Amos 16 Feb 06 - 09:01 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 06 - 07:45 PM
Acme 16 Feb 06 - 06:50 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 06 - 06:39 PM
Rapparee 16 Feb 06 - 06:28 PM
Amos 16 Feb 06 - 03:36 PM
MMario 16 Feb 06 - 03:18 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 06 - 02:24 PM
MMario 16 Feb 06 - 12:32 PM
Acme 16 Feb 06 - 12:28 PM
John MacKenzie 16 Feb 06 - 11:59 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 16 Feb 06 - 11:30 AM
Amos 16 Feb 06 - 11:02 AM
MMario 16 Feb 06 - 10:36 AM
Acme 16 Feb 06 - 10:33 AM
Amos 16 Feb 06 - 09:43 AM
John MacKenzie 16 Feb 06 - 04:26 AM
Amos 15 Feb 06 - 11:36 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 06 - 09:39 PM
Acme 15 Feb 06 - 07:46 PM
Amos 15 Feb 06 - 04:51 PM
Rapparee 15 Feb 06 - 03:34 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 06 - 12:18 PM
Amos 15 Feb 06 - 11:23 AM
Acme 15 Feb 06 - 11:09 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 15 Feb 06 - 09:23 AM
Rapparee 15 Feb 06 - 09:17 AM
Amos 15 Feb 06 - 09:16 AM
Rapparee 15 Feb 06 - 09:13 AM
Bunnahabhain 15 Feb 06 - 07:31 AM
John MacKenzie 15 Feb 06 - 04:43 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 10:49 PM

Mom, Tweed came by for a visit while you were resting. Yes, dear, that Tweed. Well, he's been busy over at Tweed's Blues trying to get the soy sauce off the walls. I know, Mom. I don't understand either. Why don't you just get some more rest?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 10:40 PM

Hey, Tweed, have you heard from Ms Penelope lately?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 10:29 PM

Curdled pea soup baby shit, biscuits and gravy (only natural...like peanut butter an jelly) magnetic gee gaws from Amos....this is all total bullshit. The thread has stayed healthy through it all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 07:08 PM

One mystery made light:

BACTERIUM FOUND TO HAVE STRANGE MAGNETIC PERSONALITY, February 17
Researchers led by an MIT graduate student have discovered a bacterium that is a magnetic misfit of sorts. Magnetotactic bacteria contain chains of magnetic iron minerals that allow them to orient in the Earth's magnetic field, like living compass needles. These bacteria have long been observed to respond to high oxygen levels in the lab by swimming toward geomagnetic north in the Northern Hemisphere and geomagnetic south in the Southern Hemisphere.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news10965.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 03:51 PM

I have always thought you were misconceived, Giok; but a gentleman does not blame such things on his mother...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 03:30 PM

I've never bitten a concept in my life, my Mother however laboured under a misconception, does That count?
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 03:28 PM

I beg to differ, sir, bit the concept and business process of "counting to eleventy-x", where x is any number from one to nine, was trademarked, copyrighted, and patented by an American cartoon character; I believe it was Popeye the Sailor, but it might have been Bugs Bunny.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 03:08 PM

Good God almighty! He can count in Scots Gaelic!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 03:05 PM

Eleventytwohundred.
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 03:04 PM

99 change hands
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 02:58 PM

I don't care too much for scotch but...

I once again set out to find the North Dakoter rings last weekend.(Winter Blues Fest-Fargo)
The only thing I really accomplished was not spilling my lovely cocktail when I tripped backstage right in front of Big George Jackson! He quickly came to my assistance to see if I was alright and I told him at that moment how proud I was that I could wipe out, slip 5 feet and maintain a balanced cocktail and yes, I'm pretty fucked up, but feelin' fine!
So that's my story and I'm stickin' to it.
Those North Dakoter rings are damn sure hard to find when you forget to look for them! The show was great-5 bands-Check out Kelly Richie band if you can-the woman can play a kick-ass guitar!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 02:54 PM

No, it was the surgical extraction of two teeth and two implants into the jawbone that drove me to the oral surgeon and drugs. Would you like a long, detailed, description of the work done?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 02:52 PM

Thanks for isolating that critical passage, Amos. I didn't backup to the description of the injury, just posted on the fly. Got a million things to do today, but I try to drop in every so often and give mom a boost.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 01:29 PM

Any excuse for good scotch since that hair-raising ride with the anesthesiologist!

Wal..ya shee...the cram googies were too drunky...I mean drunchy! Drunchy googies...I knew that!!! ..Sho I needed the Venglibbit to shoften 'em up cuz o' my more south....I fink...


Fa' down go boom...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 01:08 PM

Sounds like this is something you're familiar with, Rap. Was it a cookie that drove you to the dentist this week?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Feb 06 - 10:56 AM

Crunchy cookies cause cracked bicuspids! A crunchy cookie is an overcooked cookie! Crunchy cookies can cause crumb coughs! If you absolutely must consume crunchy cookies, please render them soft by dunking them in the liquid of your choice.

Good single malt scotch works wonders as a dunk for crunchy chocolate chip cookies...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 10:58 PM

Whooooo hoooo! It looks like we're in for a blue norther this evening, except it is blowing through after dark so we won't view it. They're amazing to see, and remarkable to feel. The temperature drops very fast as the wind blows through and a tall wall of dark gray clouds follows. Saw one once blow in over the Rio Grande in the far west of Big Bend National Park.

The girls (Cinnamon and Poppy) are tucked in the garage for the night and the kids are soon to be tucked in their beds. Me, I'm going to keep cutting and pasting this insurance claim on last year's burglary and fax it in before I head for bed. Got a pot of mint tea brewing. A couple of nice crunchy oatmeal cookies would be nice with them. Too bad I don't have time to go make some.snip snip snip


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 09:53 PM

"coffee crunchy is better."

How do you make your coffee crunchy? Use lots of grounds and put it under a broiler?

Inquiring minds want to know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 09:43 PM

By the way, I take issue with Mmario's assertion that all oatmeal cookies should be thick and chewy. If all you're going to do is stuff the things in your mouth, thick and chewy is best, but if you want to dip them in milk, hot chocolate, or coffee crunchy is better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 09:01 PM

Which is something like acts coming out of Congress -- don;t ask how they are made.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 07:45 PM

Gravy, yes, but white gravy, country gravy if you will, with lots of good sausage and some onions in it. And topped with lots of freshly-ground pepper, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 06:50 PM

Eeeewww. BWL, I bet you put gravy on your biscuits too, don't you? What a way to ruin a perfectly good baking powder biscuit!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 06:39 PM

And if you add dried split green peas you get something reminiscent of curdled baby shit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 06:28 PM

Did you know that by adding dried cranberries you can turn cooked rolled oats froma grayish mass to a pinkish-grayish mass? A color that is reminiscent of what the squid threw up, in fact.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 03:36 PM

Ach, Giok, lad, it was for ye I was suggesting the cranial compress. And I am sure you willna mind if it is rolled or steel-cut, if not too dear. You skinflint Pictavian wonderkind, you! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 03:18 PM

now - bee-dubya - you being a southern boy you probably don't realize that your grits is nothing more then a substitute for groats.* You've probably been making your oatmeal with [shudder] rolled oats. yuck. pooey! that's like trying to make polenta with flaked corn!

Get you some good old fashioned steel-cut oat groats - and try making your oatmeal with that! A very different beatie then the stuff from rolled oats.

*in fact - "grits" and "groats" are both derived from the proto-gremanic "grutja".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 02:24 PM

Of course, being from the southern US, my anti-oatmeal sentiment is, in part, rooted in the fact that oatmeal is not grits. Yes, I understand that oatmeal not being grits is probably something for which the majority of the civilized world's population is remarkably grateful, but have you ever tried to eat oatmeal with fried catfish?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 12:32 PM

Oatmeal cookies should be thick and chewy - crunchy oatmeal is blasphemous!

Stily- you should have seen me the summer my father decided to BURN out a poisen ivy patch - without warning those of us in the family who were sensative. He came away with nothing - I had poisen ivy rash in places I don't even like to remember!!!! (including eyelids)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 12:28 PM

Oatmeal is a comfort food at my house. A nice warm bowl with brown sugar and milk (and if the kids aren't home I cook mine with raisins). Crunchy oatmeal cookies are one of my favorites.

Lately it would have been better used in a bath, to sooth my poison ivy rash on my arms and one knee. (Smart stuff here thought she could get rid of it easily before the leaves come out by cutting out the vines over the creek. When brushed against, the sap in the vines is so much more potent than the oil in the leaves that this has been one uncomfortable month, and it isn't over yet).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 11:59 AM

Thanks for the chuckle Bee-Dubya, Dr Johnson felt the same way as you obviously do about oats his definition of oats is: "a grain which in England is generally given to horses, but in Scotland supports the people"(!) Well to each their own but I like my oats.
Giok


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 11:30 AM

Oatmeal is an abomination. The only less-than-abominable use to which oatmeal can be put is as an ingredient in either oatmeal cookies or a compost pile. Its use as a breakfast cereal is blasphemy. Its use in haggis is an evil of epic proportions. It should be a criminal offense to pollute perfectly good sheep innards by mixing them with oatmeal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 11:02 AM

It is also held in high esteem by the skinflinted Pictavian, or so I am told.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 10:36 AM

oatmeal is suppossed to be really good for the skin -


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 10:33 AM

Hot oatmeal set us to rights this morning. It was administered by mouth, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 09:43 AM

Nothing that can't be handled by a cranial compress of cold oatmeal. Works wonders.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Feb 06 - 04:26 AM

I sincerely hope that it's not contagious!
G


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 11:36 PM

By George, I think he's Got It!! :)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:39 PM

flowers birds love peace rainbows freedom happiness peace love freedom happiness oh look the moon is in the seventh house and jupiter has aligned with mars and peace shall rule the planets and love will steer the stars


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 07:46 PM

Cheney doesn't leave behind a dry socket--he fills his holes with birdshot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 04:51 PM

My sympathies for your suffering, good Sir. Terrible, really, having to slide down the whole steeple with your nice hands getting all begrimed with pitch and torn with splinters. Good help is so hard to find any more.

I am glad you survived, as I am planning a future in which I will not have to spend ANY more time in the vicinity of "Shotgun" Dick Cheney than absolutely necessary...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 03:34 PM

I didn't need anesthesia. I'm tough. They cut out two teeth and then drilled into my jawbone and installed two (count 'em!) things like Mollie-fasteners for implants. And I'm tough, so they didn't even give me a drink of whiskey beforehand. Just a good-looking nurse to kiss the booboo, only I told him that I didn't need that either, no offense. Have you ever looked at your hands? I mean, like, really looked at them? I didn't need no Vicodin either cuz I'm tough and my hands are like really groovi nice hands. Nope no anestheesee cool did you know that I am the Pope? Snowing but who cares you know hands?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 12:18 PM

Rapaire... Rapaire... Can you hear me, Rapaire?... Yes?... Good... Now listen... Money... You don't need it... It's an abomonation to your sensiblities... Get rid of the burden... Send all your money to the needy... And Rapaire... When you think "needy" think "BWL"... Now, just nod your head to indicate that you fully understand and I'll give you some bank account and routing numbers...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 11:23 AM

I know the anaesthesiologist, from back when he was still wondering what to do with his life and trying to learn bar chords. Funny how he ended up in Idaho, pursuing that ginger-headed gal with the huge smile and the shapely hips. Anyway, we go way back.

So if Rapaire comes to only to find his hospital bed is precariously balanced on the tip-top of the nearest Mormon cathedral spire, wanting nothing but a strong breeze to tilt it dramatically to the side....why, you might want to find out who had their finger on the gas valve. And why he's spending an extra hundred on dinner tonight...

Good genes only go so far, ya know.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 11:09 AM

Look out, I think Amos is sneaking in to short sheet Rapaire's bed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:23 AM

So what's wrong with nuclear power stations having a few windows? Working under those fluorescent lights all day long can be depressing. People need to let a little natural sunlight into their workplace environments. Sure, they'd have to make the windows of bulletproof glass, install heavy bars over them, and surround them with yards of concertina wire but that just adds to the ambience.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:17 AM

Dear Mom,

I might not be here much today and tomorrow. I'm going to go be sedated in about 90 minutes. I'll be on Vicodin, probably, Mom, and you know what that does to me. Please make sure that Amos doesn't do anything, you know, untoward while I'm unconscious. We all know what he's like if there is no gentle, loving, hand guiding him along the paths of righteousness toward the shining goal of grace. So whump him if he strays off the straight and narrow, okay?

Your favorite and favored child,
Rapaire
(the one that got all the GOOD genes)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:16 AM

These are the old kind of windows, Bunn -- the kind they used to have before software -- you look through them.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 09:13 AM

I want one that will make me an honest politician....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 07:31 AM

I don't want anything with Windows in it being capable of making anything. I can't imagine the mess it'll make of it. Almost as bad as those Nuclear power stations using Windows in their security systems....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Feb 06 - 04:43 AM

I played in a banned once BWL, too many petty squabbles, went back to playing with myself!
G.


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