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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 15 Nov 05 - 03:25 PM
Rapparee 15 Nov 05 - 03:13 PM
MMario 15 Nov 05 - 03:07 PM
Amos 15 Nov 05 - 02:12 PM
Acme 15 Nov 05 - 01:39 PM
MMario 15 Nov 05 - 12:45 PM
GUEST,Tweed 15 Nov 05 - 12:33 PM
MMario 15 Nov 05 - 11:03 AM
Amos 15 Nov 05 - 10:12 AM
Amos 15 Nov 05 - 09:56 AM
Acme 15 Nov 05 - 09:37 AM
Amos 15 Nov 05 - 12:21 AM
Rapparee 14 Nov 05 - 09:39 PM
Amos 14 Nov 05 - 05:31 PM
Rapparee 14 Nov 05 - 04:42 PM
Amos 14 Nov 05 - 01:55 PM
Rapparee 14 Nov 05 - 10:50 AM
Acme 14 Nov 05 - 09:35 AM
Amos 14 Nov 05 - 09:28 AM
Rapparee 14 Nov 05 - 08:36 AM
Acme 13 Nov 05 - 11:18 PM
Amos 13 Nov 05 - 11:14 PM
Rapparee 13 Nov 05 - 01:17 PM
Amos 13 Nov 05 - 10:45 AM
Rapparee 13 Nov 05 - 10:31 AM
Amos 13 Nov 05 - 10:15 AM
Rapparee 13 Nov 05 - 09:52 AM
Acme 13 Nov 05 - 09:43 AM
Rapparee 13 Nov 05 - 09:34 AM
Acme 12 Nov 05 - 11:15 PM
Rapparee 12 Nov 05 - 08:41 PM
Amos 12 Nov 05 - 08:35 PM
Rapparee 12 Nov 05 - 07:29 PM
Rapparee 12 Nov 05 - 11:15 AM
Acme 12 Nov 05 - 10:06 AM
Amos 12 Nov 05 - 09:56 AM
Acme 12 Nov 05 - 09:38 AM
Rapparee 12 Nov 05 - 08:04 AM
Acme 11 Nov 05 - 10:09 PM
Rapparee 11 Nov 05 - 08:53 PM
Little Hawk 11 Nov 05 - 06:56 PM
Amos 11 Nov 05 - 03:54 PM
Acme 11 Nov 05 - 12:27 PM
Rapparee 11 Nov 05 - 11:56 AM
Little Hawk 11 Nov 05 - 11:51 AM
MMario 11 Nov 05 - 10:29 AM
Amos 11 Nov 05 - 09:45 AM
Rapparee 11 Nov 05 - 09:21 AM
Rapparee 10 Nov 05 - 06:52 PM
Amos 10 Nov 05 - 05:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 03:25 PM

Do I claim post 74?? Yes, I think I do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 03:13 PM

I thought it refered to a geeky kind of Swedish birching furniture.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 03:07 PM

Of course Amos' erudite explanations ignore the fact that 'Hambo' also derives from the cockney pronunciation of the french 'jambon' or "ham" - from the period when french emigre's were living in london.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 02:12 PM

Definition of Hambo.

Instructions on dancing the Hambo

Sourcebook on the Hambo and other delights can be found from this link.


Further description of the Hambo's steps.


Hambo also refers to a geeky sort of software and a style of birch Swedish furniture.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 01:39 PM

An old fellow while dining at Crewe
Found quite a large mouse in his stew.
Said the waiter, "Don't shout
And wave it about,
Or the rest will be wanting one too."

Don't get all of those other folks started or who knows what kind of rabble the MOAB will attract! Good thing her sheer girth scares many away. I did give them a nice synopsis, though, I couldn't help myself. . .

No, Mom, don't feel bad, you DON'T steal bandwidth from the others! They're just jealous!.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 12:45 PM

they are talking about mom over here! Over here? over there? in that thread!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 12:33 PM

Goddammit!!! Who got the ten thousandth post? I have waited patiently, lurking and all vigimante to be 10,000 and now I see that it is gone forever.. another opportunity lost.

Aslo, MM is correct as "Hambo" is indeed a dish from the bayous obv southern Illinois and Indiana wherein the natives there substutit ham for shrimp, and crawdads. Celery and okra are essential elements as is the roux, made with cornmeal and fresh rendered rabbit fat. When it turns the color obv daffodils, it's time to eat!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 11:03 AM

I thought "Hambo" was that Cajun dish - you know, the one with okra or file powder?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 10:12 AM

I was just kidding; I know perfectly well it is a Scandinavian polka form.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 09:56 AM

It's a buttock-slapping chillun's dance from the pre-war South:

Hambo', hambo' where ya been
Down to da ribber, an' Ah'm goin agin!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 09:37 AM

Ah, but Amos, do you know what the Hambo is? WITHOUT googling it first?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Nov 05 - 12:21 AM

1. A hondo is a form of Andalusian lament or sad song; why does it need a burner.

2. 'Tis is a contraction of "it is. Therefore it would be incorrect to say "and the pity 'tis, 'tis true". Prefer: "And the pity is, 'tis true".

Why are you making these un-coerced statements? Isn't that a tad risky? People look at you funny if you start uttering thoughts that are really coercion free while they are reciting hypnotic lines from TV ads, enforced sentiments from beer commercials, and mandatory political thoughts from Rush Limbaugh.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 05 - 09:39 PM

I wish to make the following statements and/or questions. They are made freely and without any coericion or intimidation of any sort or by anyone, human OR FAERY.

1. I have never watched "The Brady Bunch."
2. KMnO3 makes a fine bath salt.
3. Nobody knows the trouble I've seen.
4. freds and faeries are your best friends.
5. Who would have suspected Ralph?
6. A good hondo needs a good burner.
7. Duns Scotus is dead.
8. Every good boy deserves fudge.
9. If 'tis true, 'tis a pity, and the pity 'tis, 'tis true.
10. Besides, the wench is dead.

I repeat, these are made without fear or favor (or fear or favour). I make them of my own free will. No one is standing near me, threatening to turn me into a buck-toothed paramecium. Nope, I'm making this declaration because it's the right thing to do.

If I should die, think only this of me
That there is some corner of a foriegn field
That is forever MOAB....


Dulce Et Decorum Est Pro MOAB Mori!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Nov 05 - 05:31 PM

I assume you are referring to Cluricaunes -- a type of otherworldly creature similar to the Leprechaun, they have usually been seen sitting by the hearth of a fire and are always described as wearing a red jacket and a green high cap with a feather sticking in it. They are small in stature and usually appear as wizened old men. They can do mischief, grant wishes and poke fun at humankind. (Often confused with the other solitary fairies known as Lepracauns or the Fear Dearg they prefer to be indoors and do not like to do any physical labour). They like any kind of alcoholic beverage and can be found in the cellars of rich men, helping themselves to whatever they fancy of wine and whiskey.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 05 - 04:42 PM

Sure, and the cluircanes an' me git along fine now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Nov 05 - 01:55 PM

What IS it with you and faeries, Rapaire? You on some kind of species-extermination kick here? Magical typocide? If you start getting knocks on your door late at night from tough short guys in green hats carrying shilelaghs, don't be too surprised...hope you survive okay.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 05 - 10:50 AM

Ya oughta seem 'em "flyin' united", Amos. THAT'S where a flyswatter becomes your best friend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Nov 05 - 09:35 AM

Aw, heck, we see 'em do it all the time in our back yard. It's dark and dense woods and a little humid over the creek--they're disguised as fireflies. You know those green glows you see? Yup. That's them scoring, so to speak. Faeries really do "afterglo." Down here in Texas of course the type is Praerie Faerie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Nov 05 - 09:28 AM

Jeeze, Rapaire has really done it -- by introducing fookin' faeries into this thread he has acheived what seemed impossible -- a new dimension of BS.

I mean, I don't believe off hand that I have ever before entertained the notion of faery-folk fookin'. Now he's opened up a can of... well, a can of something, anyway.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Nov 05 - 08:36 AM

One uses what one has to hand. And I thought it more humane to squash 'em with letters and words than to reduce them to their lowest common denominator, divide them into fractions, and impale them upon a point while their little integers were nested (so to speak).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Nov 05 - 11:18 PM

Rapaire should have dropped a big algebra book on them. Then it could be a weapon of math instruction. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 05 - 11:14 PM

Geeze, Rap -- you come on like Osama bin Laden turning innocent scholarly toms into weapons of mass destruction, and then you ask ME not to annoy them?

Hope your window screens are in good order.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 05 - 01:17 PM

Amos! Faeries, please! They get so annoyed with that other "F-word." They say all the time, "Faeries have two eyes, but there's only one "i" in 'faeries.'"

Please, for your own sake, don't annoy them. They get soooooo out of control when they're annoyed.

And there was such a satisfying "SPLAT!" when Webster's Third International took 'em out. Of course, now I have to clean the binding off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 05 - 10:45 AM

That's a bit hard on, Woody -- can't you show a little more tolerance for them fairies?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 05 - 10:31 AM

I've had to collect Peaseblossom. She was such a tease and a flirt, too. But when I caught her and Mucklemush engaged in a little touchy-feely-make-my-toes-curl it was simply too much, so I dropped an Unabridged dictionary on the two of them while they were flagrante delicto, so to speak.

Besides, they were sipping "nectar" from my liquor cabinet.

I think I'll have to get a new dictionary.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Nov 05 - 10:15 AM

Ah, our walking Woody!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 05 - 09:52 AM

I don't eat liver or kale or any of those foods that contain iron and I don't take iron pills, either. My fencing epees are bronze or wood, and my car is, after extensive modifications, completely wooden. I am doing my best to eliminate iron from my body, but I get so very, very tired when I start to succeed!

Oh, yes. That one word was supposed to be "sucHlike" and not "sucKlike." I think that naughty old Peaseblossom was playing a trick, making my fingers do something other than what my brain told them to do. Such a tease and mischief maker, that Peaseblossom!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Nov 05 - 09:43 AM

Ah, our Toothless Wonder!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Nov 05 - 09:34 AM

When I got my hat I had all of my teeth pulled. Sure, everyone calls me "Gummy Bear" and sucklike names, but I don't care. I never wear iron or steel either, because the faeries don't like iron and steel. If I wore iron or steel neither Dewdrop nor Hyacinth would visit me and tell me about Things and Oberon and Titania wouldn't tell me what to do either and Puck wouldn't dance for me out on the lawn in the dewy Spring.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 11:15 PM

Yeah, but you forgot about those dental fillings. They've been monitoring your thoughts for years--and also kept track of your cholesterol and blood pressure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 08:41 PM

Which is precisely why I don't wear one. I don't even own one.

Mine is a nifty little yamulke type that Larshui-2 of Carnis IV made for me a couple years ago in its workshop in L'fit. Top of the line: the government can't monitor my thought or control my actions anytmore. And most importantly, it doesn't drown out the voices!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 08:35 PM

In other news:

Empirical Study
>
> On the Effectiveness of Aluminium Foil Helmets: An Empirical Study
>
> Ali Rahimi1, Ben Recht 2, Jason Taylor 2, Noah Vawter 2
>
> 1: Electrical Engineering and Computer Science department, MIT.
> 2: Media Laboratory, MIT.
>
>
>
> Abstract
>
> Among a fringe community of paranoids, aluminum helmets serve as
> the protective measure of choice against invasive radio
> signals. We investigate the efficacy of three aluminum helmet
> designs on a sample group of four individuals. Using a $250,000
> network analyser, we find that although on average all helmets
> attenuate invasive radio frequencies in either directions (either
> emanating from an outside source, or emanating from the cranium
> of the subject), certain frequencies are in fact greatly
> amplified. These amplified frequencies coincide with radio bands
> reserved for government use according to the Federal
> Communication Commission (FCC). Statistical evidence suggests the
> use of helmets may in fact enhance the government's invasive
> abilities. We speculate that the government may in fact have
> started the helmet craze for this reason.
>
>


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 07:29 PM

Thrice the brindled cat hath mewed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 11:15 AM

Transumbilical? How, pray tell, does that relate to the other incisions?

Friend of mine didn't have a navel (or, for you doctors, a belly button and for you car mechanics, an umbilicus). Anyway, he didn't have one. He was born with it, naturally, but it eventually disappeared completely. He was "presented" at several medical schools, but no surgeon or physician could explain the case. Finally, a psychiatrist, a strict Freudian, used psychoanalysis to determine that there was no medical or biological cause, but rather that the guy had the most complete case of rejection of mother in the medical history.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 10:06 AM

I thought so too!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 09:56 AM

Stily, there will be a firm letter arriving shortly from Fra. Sanctifus Mammarus of the Executive Council, decrying the posting of images such as the one you chose. Not because of the rather beautiful divine curves shown therein but because of the cruel mockery imposed by the textual overlays. Incisions! On such divine manifestations? Jesus wept.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 09:38 AM

Breasts. I would have posted the google search on the word, but smack at the top is a horrible breast cancer photo. It hurts to look at it. In stead, I'm posting a link to a photo of a woman who is apparently in great need of a nip and a tuck (not).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Nov 05 - 08:04 AM

As they used to say to a friend of mine, "Erin, go braless."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 10:09 PM

Hmmm. I guess this topic is a bust.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 08:53 PM

Au contraire, mon vieux! Parrots, chickens, turkeys, swans, herons, and other birds all have breasts. I am enjoying a chicken breast right now, in fact. You really should keept abreast of times -- even the military has breastworks.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 06:56 PM

That's fine, but parrots do not wear bras. Neither do they have breasts. Bear that in mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 03:54 PM

The only reason the Temple has not issued a fatwah is that, indeed, the fuzziness provides warmth to the hands. This is not, of course, a significant benefit here in Southern California...but the Temple is universal in its quest for transcendental perfection.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 12:27 PM

I predict the fuzzy bra will be a non-starter. It's meant to insulate one part of the anatomy that is already, by design, more than adequately insulated. My hands, head, and neck can use the extra warmth, but extra insulation for boobs and butts, that's overkill. IMHO.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 11:56 AM

Polly Andre? My dinner with Polly Andre? Gender confusion?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 11:51 AM

There has been an epidemic of polyandry afflicting the parrot population for years now. I'm surprised Oprah has not looked into it and done a show.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 10:29 AM

polyedgar would be much more appropriate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 09:45 AM

You miss the point, good Rapaire. What might be sacriligious is turning responsibility for the creation of warm fuzzy feelings in Sacred Mammaries over to a polyester artifact.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Nov 05 - 09:21 AM

Happy Day, Mom.

If anyone is a veteran, a combat veteran no less!, deserving of the highest possible awards for valor and service above & beyond, it's you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 06:52 PM

How can anything that provides such warm fuzzies be sacrilegious? Must religion be cold and unyielding?

Dammit man! John Calvin simply doesn't belong in the Temple!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Nov 05 - 05:45 PM

The Temple executive council has informed me they are considering the possibility of a demonstration in Tokyo, due to the relase there of a new winter undergarment, the Warm Fuzzy Bra.

We think this might be sacriligious, but we are current doing some exploratory tests. A minority of the brothers think that it might enhance the religious experience.

A


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