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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 30 Aug 05 - 11:03 PM
Amos 30 Aug 05 - 08:19 PM
Amos 30 Aug 05 - 07:02 PM
Rapparee 30 Aug 05 - 05:33 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 04:26 PM
Amos 30 Aug 05 - 04:06 PM
MMario 30 Aug 05 - 03:25 PM
Rapparee 30 Aug 05 - 03:18 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 03:04 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 03:03 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 02:59 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 02:56 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 02:55 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 02:53 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 02:51 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 30 Aug 05 - 02:46 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 02:41 PM
MMario 30 Aug 05 - 02:22 PM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 02:19 PM
Amos 30 Aug 05 - 11:59 AM
Rapparee 30 Aug 05 - 11:52 AM
Amos 30 Aug 05 - 11:37 AM
Rapparee 30 Aug 05 - 11:30 AM
Amos 30 Aug 05 - 11:13 AM
Acme 30 Aug 05 - 10:48 AM
Rapparee 30 Aug 05 - 09:12 AM
MMario 30 Aug 05 - 08:52 AM
Acme 29 Aug 05 - 08:06 PM
Amos 29 Aug 05 - 07:34 PM
Little Hawk 29 Aug 05 - 05:49 PM
Acme 29 Aug 05 - 05:15 PM
Amos 29 Aug 05 - 05:03 PM
Acme 29 Aug 05 - 05:02 PM
Rapparee 29 Aug 05 - 04:55 PM
Little Hawk 29 Aug 05 - 04:39 PM
MMario 29 Aug 05 - 04:31 PM
MMario 29 Aug 05 - 04:25 PM
Amos 29 Aug 05 - 04:21 PM
Rapparee 29 Aug 05 - 04:06 PM
Amos 29 Aug 05 - 03:22 PM
Little Hawk 29 Aug 05 - 01:46 PM
Amos 29 Aug 05 - 01:08 PM
Rapparee 29 Aug 05 - 12:27 PM
Amos 29 Aug 05 - 11:03 AM
Acme 29 Aug 05 - 11:00 AM
Rapparee 29 Aug 05 - 09:18 AM
Amos 28 Aug 05 - 11:41 PM
Acme 28 Aug 05 - 11:20 PM
Little Hawk 28 Aug 05 - 09:01 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 11:03 PM

link has cords also

From our great friend Tom Lehrer

Smut

Smut
Give me smut and nothing but
A dirty novel I can't shut
If it's uncut
And unsubt-
Tle

I've never quibbled if it was ribald
I would devour where others merely nibbled
As the judge remarked the day that he
Acquitted my Aunt Hortense
"To be smut it must be ut-
Terly without redeeming social importance"


Por-
Nographic pictures I adore
Indecent magazines galore
I like them more
If they're hard core

Bring on the obscene movies, murals, postcards, neckties, samplers, stained-glass windows, tattoos, anything! More, more, I'm still not satisfied!

Stories of tortures
Used by debauchers
Lurid, licentious, and vile
Make me smile
Novels that pander
To my taste for candor
Give me a pleasure sublime
Let's face it, I love slime


All books can be indecent books
Though recent books are bolder
For filth, I'm glad to say, is in
The mind of the beholder
When correctly viewed
Everything is lewd
I could tell you things about Peter Pan
And the Wizard of Oz, there's a dirty old man

I thrill
To any book like Fanny Hill
And I suppose I always will
If it is swill
And really fil-
Thy

Who needs a hobby like tennis or philately
I've got a hobby, rereading Lady Chatterley
But now they're trying to take it all
Away from us unless
We take a stand, and hand in hand
We fight for freedom of the press
In other words

Smut, I love it
Ah, the adventures of a slut
Oh, I'm a market they can't glut
I don't know what
Compares with smut

Hip hip hooray
Let's hear it for the Supreme Court
Don't let them take it away


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 08:19 PM

It is a most strange and wondrous world in which we live. Take for example the following examples of the current activities and concerns of two groups of mature, thinking adults.

In this corner, we have several groups of research associates and scientists:

OPERANDO' METHODS FOR UNDERSTANDING CATALYSIS IN HYDROGEN STORAGE, August 30
As researchers at Pacifi c Northwest National Laboratory investigated the hydrogen storage capabilities of amine borane compounds, they knew that a rhodium catalyst readily releases hydrogen from the compound at room temperature. But they weren't sure how it worked. Aside from the scientific quest for knowledge, understanding the mechanism at work with rhodium may help with the development of a more cost-effective catalyst to enable hydrogen storage.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news6125.html

STOPING LIGHT IN QUANTUM LEAP, August 30
ANU researchers have used a groundbreaking approach to set a world record for stopping light - a crucial step in the development of the next generation of computers.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news6123.html

FINDING A WAY TO TEST FOR DARK ENERGY, August 29
What is the mysterious dark energy that's causing the expansion of the universe to accelerate? Is it some form of Einstein's famous cosmological constant, or is it an exotic repulsive force, dubbed "quintessence," that could make up as much as three-quarters of the cosmos? Scientists from Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory (Berkeley Lab) and Dartmouth College believe there is a way to find out.
Full story at http://www.physorg.com/news6095.html


In the other corner, we have the office of the United States Attorney General , ROberto Gonzalez and and his deputy Attorney General Alex Acosta:



http://www.law.com/jsp/article.jsp?id=1125318960389

Julie Kay
Daily Business Review
08-30-2005

When FBI supervisors in Miami met with new interim U.S. Attorney Alex
Acosta last month, they wondered what the top enforcement priority for
Acosta and Attorney General Alberto Gonzales would be.

Would it be terrorism? Organized crime? Narcotics trafficking?
Immigration? Or maybe public corruption?

The agents were stunned to learn that a top prosecutorial priority of
Acosta and the Department of Justice was none of the above. Instead,
Acosta told them, it's obscenity. Not pornography involving children,
but pornographic material featuring consenting adults.

Acosta's stated goal of prosecuting distributors of adult porn has
angered federal and local law enforcement officials, as well as
prosecutors in his own office. They say there are far more important
issues in a high-crime area like South Florida, which is an
international hub at risk for terrorism, money laundering and other
dangerous activities.

His own prosecutors have warned Acosta that prioritizing adult porn
would reduce resources for prosecuting other crimes, including porn
involving children. According to high-level sources who did not want to
be identified, Acosta has assigned prosecutors porn cases over their
objections.

[...remainder snipped...]


Maybe Shaxpere was right about them lawyer types -- ya think?

Jeeze, though, it sure is a funny world. Takes all types, dunnit?

Y'all know which corner of this ring I am in.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 07:02 PM

It was not her desire. The name was Onomatopoetic, chosen to describe her little pug's wet, puny, mucous-heavy snuffly little asthmatic inhalations, which reminded the poet of the distant sound of an indoor water-closet being flushed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 05:33 PM

Why did Lizzie Browning want to flush her dog? Wouldn't that plug up the drains?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 04:26 PM

It's a dog's life, hauling this thing back to the top so often just to make a point, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 04:06 PM

Well turned, sir, and madame, too!. The origins are here....

ANd....here.

But, let us not cavil -- who can resist the honest and open hearted appeal of Gluon, the finest dugdock friend yet known to our humble species? Not I!

Blessings on you all.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 03:25 PM

BRAVISSIMO!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 03:18 PM

That's my last duckdog painted on the wall,
Looking as if he were alive. I call
That piece a wonder, now: Frą Amos' hands
Worked busily a day, and there he stands.
Will't please you sit and look at him?
Sir, 'twas not his master's presence only, called that spot
Of joy into the duckdog's cheek: perhaps
Frą Amos chanced to say "His collar laps
Over my Gluon's neck too much," or "Paint
Must never hope to reproduce the faint
Half-drool that dies along his jowls": such stuff
Was courtesy, he thought, and cause enough               20
For calling up that spot of joy. He had
A heart -- how shall I say? -- too soon made glad,
Too easily impressed; he liked whate'er
He looked on, and his spit went everywhere.
Sir, 'twas all one! He raced around the terrace -- all and each
Would draw from him alike the approving speech,          30
Or bark, at least. He licked men, -- good! but licked
Somehow -- I know not how -- as if he ranked
My gift of a nine-hundred-years-old bone
With anybody's gift. Who'd stoop to blame
This sort of trifling? Even had you skill
In speech -- (which I have not) -- to make your will
Quite clear to such an one, and say, "Just this
Or that in you disgusts me; here you miss,
Or there exceed the mark" -- and if he let
Himself be lessoned so, nor plainly set
His wits to yours, forsooth, and made excuse,
--E'en then would be some stooping, and I choose
Never to stoop. Oh sir, he smiled, no doubt,
Whene'er I passed him; but who passed without
Much the same smile? This grew; I gave commands;
Then all was retrieved together. There he stands
As if alive. Will't please you rise? We'll meet
The company below, then. I repeat,
The Count your master's known munificence
Is ample warrant that no just pretence                              
Of mine for bones and Alpo will be disallowed;
Though his fair beagle's self, as I avowed
At starting, is my object. Nay, we'll go
Together down, sir. Notice Gluon again, though,
Eating a sea-horse, thought a rarity,
Which Claus of Innsbruck cooked en croute for him!

--Hellas Quinton Baderwy-Mustonn, Poems Old And New (New York: Cooking House Press, 1875)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 03:04 PM

"No Matter how little money and how few possessions,
you own, having a dog makes you rich."

Louis Sabin
All About Dogs As Pets


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 03:03 PM

"I am I because my little dog knows me"
- Gertrude Stein)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:59 PM

"The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man
up to his level of sagacity, but man has frequently
dragged the dog down to his."

          James Thurber


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:56 PM

"If you pick up a starving Dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principal difference between a dog and a man..."


Mark Twain


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:55 PM

"If there are no dogs in Heaven,
then when I die I want to go
where they went."

          Will Rogers, 1897-1935


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:53 PM

Plus je vois l'homme,
plus j'aimie mon chien

            Pascal


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:51 PM

To Gluon, My Dog
Amos Michael Browning

Yet, my pretty sportive friend,
Little is't to such an end
That I praise thy rareness!
Other dogs may be thy peers
Haply in these drooping ears,
And his/her/its glossy fairness.

But of thee it shall be said,
This duckdog watched beside a bed
Day and night unweary
Watched within a curtained room,
Where no sunbeam brake the gloom
Round the sick and dreary.

Roses, gathered for a vase,
In that chamber died apace,
Beam and breeze resigning.
This duckdog only, waited on,
Knowing that when light is gone
Love remains for shining.

Other dogs in thymy dew
Tracked the hares, and followed through
Sunny moor or meadow.
This duckdog only, crept and crept
Next a languid cheek that slept,
Sharing in the shadow.

Other dogs of loyal cheer
Bounded at the whistle clear,
Up the woodside hieing.
This duckdog only, watched in reach
Of a faintly uttered speech,
Or a louder sighing.

And if one or two quick tears
Dropped upon his glossy ears,
Or a sigh came double
Up he sprang in eager haste,
Fawning, fondling, breathing fast,
In a tender trouble.

And this duckdog was satisfied
If a pale thin hand would glide
Down his dewlaps sloping
Which he pushed his nose within,
After?platforming his chin
On the palm left open.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:47 PM

In fact, MOM asked me to mail something for her. She said not to send Gluon with it because his/her/it industrial strength dog/duck slobber would be too much for the paper.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:46 PM

She's run off with my nephew.

Yup. They run off together so that ol' John can see the Teton mountains and maybe Yellerstone.

She's doing better. She had a temporary crown put on her tooth yesterday, and today she found she could even buckle her bra without help. On the 20th she's going to an orthopod about the hand. The black eyes are sinking into yellow and the swelling in her knees is going down. She's still hurtin', though.

And John's driving....

(He's actually out here visiting.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:41 PM

Hey, Rap, how's the better half feeling today? MOM was asking about her again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:22 PM

No faire! I don't have any past life experiences to draw on because I live them all via time travel...

(Note: 9090!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 02:19 PM

Ah, wine from Greece, where boys will do boys. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 11:59 AM

Inspiring to see how far you have come with your past-life regression therapy experiment, Rapaire.

Here's to all our old pals we hung out with back in Alcibiades' old corps. Those were GOOD times, dude. The drachma was up, and the retsina went down, all over Sicily and Cyprus.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 11:52 AM

That there's Latin, ain't it? I knew a Latin one. Cute little thing, as we used ta say, a real puella pulcra. We'd go roller skatin' an' to the softball games and watch the clouds and stuff. Her name was Dominia Fabius Seneca and she was one of the Senecas. Bein' jist a hick from a backwater region of the Empire, her parents didn't like me, they thought I was too poor, said that I wasn't worthy to enter their door.

So I led my bunch down South, sacked Rome, burned and looted all over the place. THAT sure taught them almighty stuck-up muckity-mucks a real good lesson!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 11:37 AM

QUod erat demonstrarum!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 11:30 AM

Z Z Z Z Z Z Z


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 11:13 AM

Rap:

That is really first-class BS, stellar stuff. I wish you had written it. But never mind, you will.

MM: Your socks are in the dryer.

SRS: Madame, I accept your explanation with greast relief and am pleased to discover that I had misunderstood your first essay at floating Z's.

I recommend that in order to perfect your technique for the inscription of Z's you seek out an excellent fencing afficionado such as our own good Master Rapaire, and develop your generous natural endowment of talent under his macabre instruction.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 10:48 AM

So busy working on the darned Z that I missed getting ethereal right. Not as oblique as "goats float," but yesterday didn't seem to be my day for wordplay)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 09:12 AM

> The bartender says: "Sorry, but we don't serve minors." So, the E- flat leaves, and the C and the G have an open fifth between them.   After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished: the G is out flat. An F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough. A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying, "Excuse me. I'll just be a second." An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight." The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development." This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and everything else, and stands there au naturel. Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest. The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda at an upscale correctional facility. On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless. The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become alto much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 30 Aug 05 - 08:52 AM

where the heck are my socks!?!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 08:06 PM

In your second guess you got it right. But jumping to the wrong conclusion so swiftly--bah!

The "Z" was supposed to be an etheareal Zorro mark, and the font (which on my screen appears as the Bradley Hand ITC, in italics, had just the right amount of panache for the topic at hand. Alas, it went over like a lead balloon, because the size didn't work. But I'll try again (see if this doesn't just knock your socks off and distract you from the pique you exhibited a moment ago):





Z



 



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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 07:34 PM

SRS;

Your creation of floating "Z"s, which did not succeed, is nevertheless an affront to my dignity, although I am sure you meant no offense. These are traditionally symbols of ennui, which indeed could be construed as a reflection on the quality of my BS in our mutual thread, and, as I am sure you can readily appreciate, therefore an offense to my person and repute. There is probably a misunderstanding -- perhaps you were practicing "Zorro" symbols, and I misinterpreted them. However, I feel it is important to clarify this with you in order to reassure myself that no insult on your part was intended.

I await, good madam, your timely response and remain,

Yr hmbl srvnt,


Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 05:49 PM

Yea, verily, and forsooth.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 05:15 PM

I think it's complicated to get the darned html to work.

Z


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 05:03 PM

It was a complicated business, this matter of artifical pride, wasn't it? :D

The real thing is tricky enough without adding six layers of butter-frosted etiquette on top!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 05:02 PM

z


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 04:55 PM

Sir,

I see and understand your point. I must offer my apology for misunderstanding your statements and can only say in mitigation that I have been under some little pressure of late.

Therefore, I will accept you word that you did not use a thesaurus in any format in your post to Little Hawk, and excuse the use of the word "codwallop" to describe myself.

Your most obedient servant,
Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 04:39 PM

One can only wonder where they ever found the time to actually commence the duel itself...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 04:31 PM

And in chapter II:

3. You may refuse to receive a note from a minor, if you have not made an associate of him; one that has been posted; one that has been publicly disgraced without resenting it, one whose occupation is unlawful; a man in his dotage and a lunatic. There may be other cases, but the character of those enumerated will lead to a correct decision upon those admitted. If you receive a note from a stranger, you have a right to a reasonable time to ascertain his standing in society, unless he be fully vouched for by his friend.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 04:25 PM

I like this portion:

1. WHENEVER you believe you are insulted, if the insult be in public, and by words or behavior, never resent it there, if you have self-command enough to avoid noticing it. If resented there, you offer an indignity to the company, which you should not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 04:21 PM

Sir:

I would be most remiss in my honour and my duty were I to claim, as would you, were you to do so, that I OWNED no thesaurus. Nor is such a claim consistent with your proclaimed respect for the fine elements of civilized and honorable men of intellect. I can only assume that you will readily see, sir, that my invective, which I have agreed to recant, is predicated against the assertion that I USE such a plebian device in my contributions to this most esteemed colloquium. Be assured, sir, that I do not; in particular I did not use one in creating the post--both talented and mellifluous-- which seems to have stimulated Mister Hawke's bloviation and callow, scurrilous and licentious defamation, claiming that I must have used one in its particular creation.

Therein are the limits of any avowal I am willing to make, sir; as a gentleman, I can claim no more, for honor would not allow it.

I remain sir, yr Obed't Srvnt,

Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 04:06 PM

Sir,

If I have the honour of addressing a gentleman, and I must assume that I do, I will accept you word that do not own a thesaurus in any form, print, electronic, or otherwise. Likewise I will require that you accept my word that neither I nor any member of my family are now or have ever been a "codwallop."

Should you not be able to do this, I will ask Mr. Little Hawk to call upon you as required by the American , Irish, , and French Codes Duello.

I hope that we might arrive at a mutually satisfactory solution.


Your humble servant,
Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 03:22 PM

Good sir Hawke:

I delight in knowing that you possess such an artifact; I request you place it within your personal sphere, in a location analagous to that in which you have lately implied my non-existant thesaurus was to be found, so that it does not suffer deterioration by the incidence of ordinary daylight. I would appreciate phtoographic evidence of your cooperation with this informal invitation on my part concerning the disposition of the CD in question among your own parts.

Eh?????????


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 01:46 PM

This is great. Almost as good as Twillingsgate. We should get Ms Penelope to fly over and wave her hankie as the signal for the bold combatants to open fire, draw swords, or whatever...

Stilly, I already have that CD, but thanks for the thought, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 01:08 PM

Sir:

Should you find it possible to seek release of your obviously generous thermal endowment elsewhere, I would urge you to do so before reconsidering your hasty conclusion. The Lie Direct, Sirrah, was your own, impugning my capacity for boundless BS through the falsely implied use of such artifices as a Thesaurus. Thus, you presented a severe affront and disservice, implying that my product of BS is other than fresh-grown, organically generated and the product of rivch and fertile thought.

Therefore, kindly seek a cooler spot and think again; I will exchange with you at your request a reciprocal withdrawal of language, agreeing you are no codwallop in exchange for your recognition that I keep no thesaurus handy.

Should you, in your over-gifted caloric state, decide not to agree to this civil offer, sir, I can only say that I will meet you as you request on the field of honor, in the unlikely event that yuou prove able to locate the same.

Your sincere friend,


Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 12:27 PM

Codwallop?! CODWALLOP?!?!?!?!!

Sir, you have given the Lie Direct; in short, Sir, I state that I am not now and have never been a "codwallop," and no one in my family was ever such. I cannot, of course, speak for yours.

You have impugned my honour with your statement and I feel that there is no recourse but to expunge the insult with your blood. Should you refuse me this, I will post you as a cowardly bushwacker, a lying rattlesnake, and a clattermonger

My second, Mr. Little Hawk, will call upon you.

And so I remain,

Your friend,

Rapaire


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 11:03 AM

I don't have a thesaurus, you codwallop! I have an education!

I accept your terms, however.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 11:00 AM

6. The party of the first part will agree that the party of the second part is without doubt the ne plus ultra, the top of the hill, the sine qua non, the top, the best, of all Mudcatters, and the party of the second part will do likewise for the party of the first part.


I guess logic wasn't high on your list of things to study, eh, Rapaire? You're going to let these two go along thinking each is the top, when by the definition of the very concepts you promote, they can't both be top. One would have to be penultimate.

And why should these two get to fight over that honor, anyway? There are a few others who might like to stand in line for that acknowledgement of BS aggrandizement.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 05 - 09:18 AM

You want pretentious verbosity, Amos? Don't tempt me. You insult Canada's greatest export at your peril.

Pretentious verbosity is Canada's greatest export?

LH is tempted to be pretentiously verbose?

Amos desires pretentious verbosity, and if so, why?

Gad! You entertain guests (my very own blood kin nephew, no less!) and the next time you drop in at Mom's LH and Amos are doing very confusing things and shouting at each other about them.

There will never be peace until all parties can communicate freely and openly, with mutual understanding and trust. Therefore, I propose the Amos and LH, without coercion, in the spirit of the mature, thinking, adults that they are, agree to the following:

1. There will be free and open bilateral inspections;
2. Both sides will reduce the number of their thesaurii over a period of years until neither has any;
3. The thesaurii liberated by this reduction in books will be donated to and held in trust for the general good at their local public libraries;
4. Neither party will in the future obtain, by any means written, electronic, or yet to be invented, a thesaurus or similar work;
5. Each will, upon demand, open their complete personal libraries to UN inspectors;
6. The party of the first part will agree that the party of the second part is without doubt the ne plus ultra, the top of the hill, the sine qua non, the top, the best, of all Mudcatters, and the party of the second part will do likewise for the party of the first part.

And should either party fail to agree to any of these provisions for a better world, the Idaho Legion will be authorized to take whatever steps are deemed by the Legion to be necessary, from the use of nuclear, chemical, and biological weapons up to and including the consumption of all the beer in Canada or wine in California.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 11:41 PM

NEver mind, you hoser. Get a brew, eh!! ??? Chill, like.


Eh?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 11:20 PM

Save the bare knuckles for MOAB number poachers.

Little Hawk, get out your copy of Spaced Out: The Best of Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner and chill out!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 05 - 09:01 PM

Oh, you've, like, done it now, eh? The gloves are comin' off, eh? Just you wait.


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