Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,The Great Cosmic Enlightenment 08 Jul 05 - 01:31 PM
Amos 08 Jul 05 - 01:07 PM
GUEST,MMario 08 Jul 05 - 11:42 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 05 - 10:59 AM
Acme 08 Jul 05 - 10:00 AM
GUEST,MMario 08 Jul 05 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 08 Jul 05 - 09:03 AM
Amos 08 Jul 05 - 02:19 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 05 - 11:59 PM
GUEST,Gluon 07 Jul 05 - 10:12 PM
Amos 07 Jul 05 - 08:01 PM
Acme 07 Jul 05 - 05:54 PM
Rapparee 07 Jul 05 - 04:52 PM
Acme 07 Jul 05 - 03:12 PM
GUEST 07 Jul 05 - 02:02 PM
Rapparee 07 Jul 05 - 01:17 PM
Amos 07 Jul 05 - 09:37 AM
GUEST,MMario 07 Jul 05 - 09:22 AM
Rapparee 07 Jul 05 - 09:10 AM
GUEST,MMario 07 Jul 05 - 09:03 AM
Acme 06 Jul 05 - 08:43 PM
Amos 06 Jul 05 - 08:33 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 05 - 07:46 PM
Amos 06 Jul 05 - 06:39 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 05 - 05:41 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 05 - 04:57 PM
GUEST,the great (carnivorous) Penguin - drooling 06 Jul 05 - 03:18 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 05 - 02:48 PM
GUEST,the great penguin 06 Jul 05 - 02:13 PM
rumanci 06 Jul 05 - 01:49 PM
rumanci 06 Jul 05 - 01:46 PM
Rapparee 06 Jul 05 - 01:42 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 05 - 01:39 PM
Amos 06 Jul 05 - 12:18 PM
rumanci 06 Jul 05 - 11:17 AM
GUEST,The Great Penguin 06 Jul 05 - 11:08 AM
Rapparee 06 Jul 05 - 10:58 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Jul 05 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 06 Jul 05 - 09:04 AM
GUEST 06 Jul 05 - 08:53 AM
John Hardly 06 Jul 05 - 07:37 AM
Bunnahabhain 06 Jul 05 - 07:32 AM
Acme 06 Jul 05 - 01:15 AM
Amos 06 Jul 05 - 12:17 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jul 05 - 09:04 PM
Amos 05 Jul 05 - 08:56 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Jul 05 - 08:41 PM
Rapparee 05 Jul 05 - 06:37 PM
GUEST,MMario 05 Jul 05 - 02:06 PM
Rapparee 05 Jul 05 - 01:56 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:






Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Great Cosmic Enlightenment
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 01:31 PM

grasshopper -

you now know one of the GREAT TRUTHS.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 01:07 PM

Wow!! So when you come to one of those Great Karmic Forks in the road, and want to make up for past sins by helping the universe out somehow, the question becoes to Bee or not to Bee?

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 11:42 AM

Rapaire - that is what WORMS are for. In fact - "worm" is an acronym (something most people don't realize

Worldwide
Optimized
Restoration (of)
Mass
System

They recycle the non moving into the ecosystem so that it can become MOVING - thus restoring the mass balance.

And BEEs. another acronym

Balance
Energy
Elevators

Why do you think they do that vibrating shaky dance on the combs of the hive? Sure, it's been theorized that it is communication of where to find nectar and pollen, but in truth its to rebalence the mass energy systems of the universe - likewise when they stand at the entrance of the hive and vibrate their wings. It's not to cool the hive, it's another facet of energy/mass balance.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 10:59 AM

Okay, so when you move you add to the mass of the Universe. I'm cool with that. And that means that when you die, you stop adding mass to the Universe because you're not moving any more (althought I've heard about people spinning in their graves, which would not only add to the mass of the Universe but create a problem with graves filling up with yarn, not to mention the question of where the wool and stuff comes from -- possibly Dark Matter). But anyway, there are lots more dead people than live people, so that means that the Universe has been losing mass for a very long time. And that brings up the question...

are we disappearing bit by the bit? And if so, how can we know?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 10:00 AM

I don't think anyone does. I found some out on the front lawn near the curb yesterday. Not only that, but someone's child found it. . . ewww. . .


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 09:35 AM

nearly all the mass of protons and neutrons is from the kinetic energy of their constituent quarks and gluons

certainly explains why Gluopn hardly ever stops moving; He's just contributing his share of mass to the universe. What I want to know is who follows him around with the scoop to get that mass where it belongs and not underfoot where someone is gonna step in it?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 09:03 AM

Amos, I've tried and tried to keep Gluon out of the protons and neutrons, but that animal just will not learn! I've even smacked it with a rolled-up newspaper! You give it a try; maybe Gluon will listen to you.

There are some very nice pictures of the Standard Model here and here.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 05 - 02:19 AM

n example of energy contributing to mass occurs in the most familiar kind of matter in the universe--the protons and neutrons that make up atomic nuclei in stars, planets, people and all that we see. These particles amount to 4 to 5 percent of the mass-energy of the universe. The Standard Model tells us that protons and neutrons are composed of elementary particles called quarks that are bound together by massless particles called gluons. Although the constituents are whirling around inside each proton, from outside we see a proton as a coherent object with an intrinsic mass, which is given by adding up the masses and energies of its constituents.

The Standard Model lets us calculate that nearly all the mass of protons and neutrons is from the kinetic energy of their constituent quarks and gluons (the remainder is from the quarks' rest mass). Thus, about 4 to 5 percent of the entire universe--almost all the familiar matter around us--comes from the energy of motion of quarks and gluons in protons and neutrons.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 11:59 PM

Oh, okay, Gluon. I thought the place started as a cool, diffuse snowball about 3 p.m. (Mountain Daylight Time) the day before yesterday. My theory was self-consistent, too.

Dang, another on shot down by reality.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Gluon
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 10:12 PM

QUARK!!! QUARK!!!

(Translation: The Big Bang theory is a bunch of hooey. It was more like the Big Overflow. Someone left a "faucet" on over on the 19th Dimension. It wasn't really a faucet because it didn't have water coming out of it, but "faucet" is as close to the idea as you humans have a word for. Anyway, the "sink" overflowed and a bunch of the stuff dripped into your Universe which, prior to the drippage, had been a total and absolute vacuum. It was all an accident. Really. The 19th Dimensioners have apologized profusely to the Cosmic Overlord and they have been punished by being banished into this three-dimensions-plus-time Universe where they are known as "Freds".)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 08:01 PM

Universe in crisis as experts question Big Bang model

July 07, 2005
      
The widely accepted idea that the universe began with a Big Bang could be wrong, according to astrophysicists who took part in a "Crisis in cosmology" meeting in Portugal and reported in this month's Physics World magazine.

According to the standard Big Bang theory, the universe began in a hot dense fireball about 13 billion years ago and has been expanding ever since. But despite plenty of evidence to support the theory, not everyone is convinced.

Eric Lerner of Lawrenceville Plasma Physics, who organized the Portuguese meeting, says that certain properties of the cosmic microwave background - the so-called "echo of the Big Bang" - do not match predictions from the theory.

Others are unhappy that cosmologists have had to introduce weird concepts like dark matter and dark energy to explain the universe. Mainstream scientists, however, have hit back, saying that we just need to tweak the Big Bang model and tie up "loose ends". ...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 05:54 PM

I thought you found one of these.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 04:52 PM

I didn't mean to. It was an accident. And nobody saw me do it anyway, and I got an alibi. Besides, it's all Gluon's fault. I am not a crook; my wife wears a good Republican cloth coat, and the only gift I took was this cute little spotted puppy, seen here playing, and I'm not going to give it back.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 03:12 PM

Well, look at what happened when a sun-warmed body from Idaho was thrust into an Antarctic glacier. You made a hole in it!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 02:02 PM

truth be told, Amos has a dumbo fetish and it's your ears he lusts after.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 01:17 PM

Amos, you are just jealous of my youthful good looks and my innocent boyish grin.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 09:37 AM

Well, relative to the polar icecap, Rap's body does seem thermally gifted. Especially 'cuz of the extra, isocentric perimeter-contouring hydrocarbon chains acquired in later years.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 09:22 AM

Tuesday

2:14 a.m.: Two blue trucks were revving their engines and driving recklessly around the block in the 900 block of South Pleasant Avenue


Wonder if they had any drivers?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 09:10 AM

Oh, that's nothing new. Everyone does. That's why I have this big ol' whuppin' stick.

An odd thing: there has been a Labrador Retriever hanging around for the last few days, and I found a stinkhorn mushroom in the yard last evening when I cut the grass. I cut AROUND the stinkhorn -- I messed with one of those once before!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 07 Jul 05 - 09:03 AM

whoa! Hey Rap! Stilly thinks you got a hot body!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 08:43 PM

Gasp

I fought my way in here, but it's hot and the air is bad and damnitall, Earthlink is rewiring some of its circuits in the area. Two more days of no DSL. I'm loading some extra software to speed up the dialup, but I slowed that way down when I clicked on the MOAB thread. This mother takes a long time to load via the can and a string.

Keep up the travel, but watch it, slinging hot bodies from Idaho down to the Antarctic is bound to melt the polar ice caps even faster than before.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 08:33 PM

It's possible the guy who was under the blanket at 8:17 is the same one the prostitutes were making hand gestures at just after the previous midnight. Ya think? Mebbe he took 'em too seriously!!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 07:46 PM

He carried a blanket in a couple, though.

Right! Sitting Bull didn't wear the blanket all the time. He only wore it when he felt like spanking his monkey, which he usually did while sitting on a park bench in Armory Park in Lodi, California.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 06:39 PM

SHoulda kept 'em under the blanket, man. That's what all o' Bull's buddies told him after it was over...


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 05:41 PM

I've just looked at a lot of pictures of Tatanka Iyotake and didn't find one where he was under a blanket. He carried a blanket in a couple, though.

The beak was going to snap me...BIG teeth!...when something snapped me back to Pocatello. Just in time for a Fire Department inspection. Then I read Bee-Dubya's thing about Tatanka Iyotake and knew I had to respond.









I think my hands are frostbit.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 04:57 PM

8:37 a.m.: A naked man was masturbating under a blanket in Armory Park, 333 N. Washington St.

Well, was he naked, or was he under a blanket? If he was under a blanket then, technically, he wasn't naked since a blanket could be considered a form of clothing. It was good enough for Sitting Bull, wasn't it?

Now, whether or not Sitting Bull yanked his crank while wearing his blanket is a different matter. I doubt anyone could provide a definitive answer as to the question "Did Bull boff his boloney beneath his blanket?" After all, he was under the blanket so who could tell? Scratching fleas, choking chickens, they sorta look the same when you're wearing a blanket.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,the great (carnivorous) Penguin - drooling
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 03:18 PM

heheheheh! just a little closer and it's DINNER TIME!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 02:48 PM

There's a big dude in a tuxedo over there. He's motioning me to come over. Maybe he's warm over there. There's a big cup of hot coffee...and another of hot tea...and hot chocolate. With whipped cream. Must go over.......................


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,the great penguin
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 02:13 PM

come to me! Free magazine subscriptions! Unlimited shelving! Just a little closer now


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 01:49 PM

QUICK !!!!!

Alert the media

Blanket coverage needed

Rap needs wrapping


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 01:46 PM

You mean Rap's gonna get his chips ?
Oh No !
I must organise a saute penguin croquette match
I m'allet sea with mash less


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 01:42 PM

Cold....really, really cold....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 01:39 PM

No! Wait! We don't need Gluon to bend the space-time continuum or drop syphon hoses down gravity wells! We can go anyplace we want by just going to whatever Tavern thread is currently up and running! Just pick the correct door and, viola! We're standing in the lunch line in Pocatello, Idaho!

Sorry that Rapaire's going to miss it, what with being in Antarctica and all. Whatta ya think the chances are that they'll serve something with potatoes in it?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 12:18 PM

He who receives All Suggestions tux that one away for cooler heads to reflect on. A frozen librarian? Hmmm... Dewey thaw him? Decimal advice, anyway. Just so its on the books.

Meanwhile, in a small town most of you had forgotten, things are going from bad to worse. Some examples from the Lodi, California police log:

In the 24 hours since 4 p.m. Sunday, the Lodi Police Department handled 380 calls for service. The following is a sample of calls received by dispatchers.

Sunday

5:28 p.m.: A Hilborn Street resident overdosed on Benadryl.

6:45 p.m.: Underage juveniles were drinking at an unsupervised Amber Leaf Way party.

10:10 p.m.: Four males were spray painting cars on Eucalyptus Court.

Monday

12:55 a.m.: Prostitutes made hand gestures toward a man on Houston Lane near Victor Road.

8:37 a.m.: A naked man was masturbating under a blanket in Armory Park, 333 N. Washington St.

9:36 a.m.: Someone in a beige Ford Explorer had been surveying for days in the 700 block of Virginia Avenue.

12:59 p.m.: A credit card was stolen from a home in the 0-100 block of South Rose Street.

1:31 p.m.: A white Nissan Maxima was stolen in the 2000 block of South Stockton Street.

2:11 p.m.: After trying to rob someone at knifepoint in the parking lot of the 99 Cent Store, 300 W. Kettleman Lane, a helmet-less juvenile rode away on a green bicycle.

2:21 p.m.: Someone on Pinkerton Way wanted to report that a portable toilet burned up.

3:37 p.m.: A rocket came over a fence and damaged a shed in the 1400 block of Graffigna Avenue.

6:45 p.m.: Neighbors were arguing and rocks were thrown over a fence in the 100 block of De Force Avenue.

8:05 p.m.: A child fell out of a vehicle in the 800 block of South Church Street.

8:10 p.m.: Four kittens were found in the 500 block of South Sacramento Street.

8:52 p.m.: A man with a boom box was hanging out on church steps and throwing beer cans into the 300 block of South Central Avenue.

9:13 p.m.: Juveniles were jumping off a roof into a pool at a vacant North Avena Avenue vacant house.

9:15 p.m.: After receiving gun powder burns to the face, a juvenile was taken to Lodi Memorial Hospital, 975 S. Fairmont Ave.

10:26 p.m.: Someone was assaulted at Lodi Lake, 1301 W. Turner Road.

10:39 p.m.: After being injured by a firecracker at Garfield Street and Lodi Avenue, a juvenile was taken to the emergency room.

10:41 p.m.: A strange vehicle was running for 20 minutes, and then the engine blew up and started smoking in the 100 block of Harvest Lane.

10:57 p.m.: A female was trying to run over a male who was carrying a red cooler on Robert Street near Mills Avenue.

11:03 p.m.: People with knives threatened a female on Plumas Way.

Tuesday

2:14 a.m.: Two blue trucks were revving their engines and driving recklessly around the block in the 900 block of South Pleasant Avenue.

2:51 a.m.: A suspicious person was yelling at a front door in the 300 block of Chestnut Street.

6:39 a.m.: A purple 1993 Saturn was stolen sometime after midnight at Garfield Manor Apartments, 950 S. Garfield St.

10:35 a.m.: A suspicious woman in a black dress and blue slippers entered Omelet House, 700 Victor Road, and said the business would be robbed.

11:58 a.m.: A 1991 Honda Accord was stolen at Stonetree Apartments, 1819 S. Cherokee Lane.

1:43 p.m.: After punching his daughter and throwing her to the ground, a Westbrook Drive resident left the home.

1:56 p.m.: A man hit his son with a flashlight at Golden Era Hotel, 18 S. Main St.

2:25 p.m.: Someone at an apartment complex was hitting golf balls into General Mills, 2000 W. Turner Road.



Just so you guys here in MOABlandia know when you're well off!! :D

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: rumanci
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 11:17 AM

are we drawing lots to see who gets to rescue Rap ?

Heck ! I've always been unlucky

Can't we train the penguin brigade by then ? Suit me emperorically !


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Great Penguin
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 11:08 AM

Look! A tasty Librarian! Maybe I can lure him out.



*calling softly*

Increased Budgets! Increased Budgets!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 10:58 AM

Hey, it's gotten danged cold and nothing looks familiar. What the f*** is going on? There's a blizzard outside!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 10:50 AM

Let's see... It's currently 9:36 Central Time. That's 8:36 Rap's time (I think). So I've got three hours and change to drive to Pensacola's airport, go through security, fly to Atlanta, connect to Salt Lake City, catch a puddle-jumper to Pocatello, rent a car, and drive to the library.

Yo! Gluon! I don't see where there's going to be enough time. Would you mind tweaking the ol' space-time continuum a bit? Yeah, just bend it up a little right over there at Pocatello. Now, bend this part here that says "Bee-Dubya's Place" until the two pieces meet. No! Don't break 'em you clumsy damned leg-humping Mallairedale! Oh, shit! Sorry, Rap! Hope you enjoy Antarctica. We'll send someone to get you in the Spring.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 09:04 AM

Okay, okay. The Great Race is coming to town today for lunch. We're going to have good barbecue, Shoshone-Bannock dancers, fiddlers competing, cowboy shootouts (using blanks, the wimps!), and about a hundred vintage cars which are racing from DC to Tacoma (they started June 25). If the lunch is good enough the racers will vote Pocatello as "Best Lunch" and the Library will win $5,000.

So I gotta get to work, because we can't afford to blow lunch.

That didn't come out right.

Neither did that.

Anyway, if we happen to win I'm going to use the cash to buy a book trailer, like this one in the picture from 1939, only updated. We can tow it with the Library's 1996 Subaru wagon to nursing homes, parks, schools, and so forth. And I can't find that any library in the US is using a book trailer these days.

(Why not a bookmobile? you ask. Well, a bookmobile would require a) at least 2 people holding commercial drivers' licenses; b) enough income to pay for a gas mileage of about 7 mpg, and c) an initial cost of about $125,000, which we don't have. Not to mention parking, an office, communications, a seperate book collection, etc. etc. That's why.)

So...if you're in Pocatello, Idaho around noon today and you like vintage cars and would like to pop in and say howdy...heck, I'll buy ya lunch. Even a beer.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 08:53 AM

Coming Soon to a thread near you!

STAR WARPS!



starring
GLUON


as the intrepid Commander Mallard Airdale
Nuclear Defender of the Weak and Strong Forces
Protector of the Horoscope and Mom's Apple Pie


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John Hardly
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 07:37 AM

FROM: National Aeronautics and Space Administration
Houston TX, USA

TO: Marina Bai
Russia

Dear Ms. Bai,

We are so sorry. Apparently our probe came too close to Uranus.

Sincerely,

The good folks at NASA


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 07:32 AM

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. I wander off to Slovenia for a week or so, and the whole place goes weird.

And will someone please tell Gluon only to mess with the atmosphere somewhere else. Dancing on a stage, on steel pontoons, in the middle of the River Drava is nice, the stage has a certain livley bounce. Doing so whilst there are thunderstorms approaching is more interesting...
We're the excessivly white ones. The tartan is a slight giveaway as well.

Bunnahabhain. ( who's really very sorry about neglecting MOAB for so long )


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 01:15 AM

Sorry about the slippage, Rapaire. They're building a new subdivision next to my neighborhood in the village and that evidently involves cutting the phone cable once a week. That reduces efficiency of the DSL connection. Good thing you caught her when you did!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jul 05 - 12:17 AM

BEE DUBYA ELL!!!! YOU ARE A NUTCASE!!!!!!!

But I love ya fer it.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 09:04 PM

"Star Warps" is an anagram for "Ratspraw" which is Skooby-Doo-eese for "Catspaw".


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 08:56 PM

Yeah, Rap! Don't you go threatening me because the Server of All Mothers was down instead of being Beauty for a while.

As for Star Warps, I think we should write the filmscript.

A long. long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, a mission was begun by a genius so evil as to beggar the imagination of lesser mortals, and to lessen the imagination of mortal beggars...

In the hands of one cruel, distorted mind, lay the secrets of Deformation of Horoscopic Fields. With this secret, he intended to ruin the Horoscopes of every living being in the Known Universe. Warp their personalities, their fates, twist their karma like pretzel dough, and flatten their Cosmic Destinies like so many road-apples on an interstate.

A small band of desperate Fatalists knew they had to do something to stop this Karmic slaughter.

This is their tale......


S T A R    W A R P S


                                                         

The Next Generation


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 08:41 PM

I'm here, Mom! Every time I've tried to get to your place for the last few days the bridge has been washed out. Good to see that some of the kids have been able to get through.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 06:37 PM

Horoscope deformation, also called "star warping," is a big problem in Russia and Idaho.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 02:06 PM

"deform her horoscope"? since when have *COMETS* been included in horoscopes? Hell - a good Classic horoscope doen't even include Uranus, neptune or pluto!!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Jul 05 - 01:56 PM

This doesn't deserve a thread of its own (I think), but it certainly belongs to MOAB!

MOSCOW (AP) -- NASA's mission that sent a space probe smashing into a comet raised more than cosmic dust - it also brought a lawsuit from a Russian astrologer.

Marina Bai has sued the U.S. space agency, claiming the Deep Impact probe that punched a crater into the comet Tempel 1 late Sunday "ruins the natural balance of forces in the universe," the newspaper Izvestia reported Tuesday. A Moscow court has postponed hearings on the case until late July, the paper said....

Bai is seeking damages totaling $300 million - the approximate equivalent of the mission's cost - for her "moral sufferings," Izvestia said, citing her lawyer Alexander Molokhov. She earlier told the paper that the experiment would "deform her horoscope."

NASA representatives in Russia could not be reached for comment on the case.


I'm assuming that the NASA reps can't catch their breath from their laughter....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 19 October 7:38 AM EDT

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.