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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,MMario 26 May 05 - 09:35 AM
Rapparee 26 May 05 - 09:22 AM
Rapparee 26 May 05 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 26 May 05 - 09:01 AM
GUEST,Bunnahabhain 26 May 05 - 08:58 AM
GUEST,MMario 26 May 05 - 08:34 AM
Rapparee 25 May 05 - 09:15 PM
Amos 25 May 05 - 07:34 PM
Bunnahabhain 25 May 05 - 07:14 PM
Amos 25 May 05 - 05:05 PM
Bunnahabhain 25 May 05 - 12:08 PM
Amos 25 May 05 - 11:51 AM
Acme 25 May 05 - 11:15 AM
GUEST,MMario 25 May 05 - 08:18 AM
GUEST,The Law Offices Of Style & Grace 25 May 05 - 08:08 AM
GUEST,The Law Offices of Style & Grace 25 May 05 - 07:48 AM
Bunnahabhain 25 May 05 - 05:08 AM
GUEST,SRS 25 May 05 - 12:21 AM
Amos 24 May 05 - 11:43 PM
Rustic Rebel 24 May 05 - 10:28 PM
Rustic Rebel 24 May 05 - 10:21 PM
GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell 24 May 05 - 09:18 PM
Rapparee 24 May 05 - 05:30 PM
Bunnahabhain 24 May 05 - 05:06 PM
GUEST 24 May 05 - 03:31 PM
Rapparee 24 May 05 - 03:25 PM
Amos 24 May 05 - 03:07 PM
GUEST,HTML 24 May 05 - 01:47 PM
Acme 24 May 05 - 01:28 PM
Rapparee 24 May 05 - 12:59 PM
Rapparee 24 May 05 - 08:57 AM
Rapparee 23 May 05 - 07:15 PM
Bunnahabhain 23 May 05 - 06:07 PM
Rapparee 23 May 05 - 01:32 PM
Acme 23 May 05 - 11:26 AM
Rapparee 23 May 05 - 09:12 AM
GUEST,MMario 23 May 05 - 07:56 AM
Acme 22 May 05 - 11:53 PM
GUEST,Amos 22 May 05 - 10:21 AM
Acme 22 May 05 - 10:18 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 21 May 05 - 10:08 PM
Amos 21 May 05 - 05:20 PM
Rapparee 21 May 05 - 02:28 PM
Acme 21 May 05 - 11:55 AM
Rapparee 21 May 05 - 11:33 AM
GUEST 21 May 05 - 02:10 AM
Acme 20 May 05 - 11:35 PM
Acme 20 May 05 - 07:35 PM
GUEST,MMario 20 May 05 - 04:07 PM
Rapparee 20 May 05 - 04:01 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 May 05 - 09:35 AM

ow. That hurts. I nominate the Anonymous writer of that article as Premier Sainbt of MOAB


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 05 - 09:22 AM

I have just read an article which I felt belonged here, and I'm certain that even Mother would agree. Since it is of some importance, I'm quoting it in full even though the source of information is unnamed.

Ratzinger was not the Cardinals' first choice for Pope. That was, interestingly, Cardinal Hans Grapje. Grapje was raised in a Catholic school in The Hague and, as a young man, aspired to become a priest, but was drafted into the Army during WWII and spent two years co-piloting B-17s until his aircraft was shot down in 1943 and he lost his left arm. Captain Grapje spent the rest of the war as a chaplain, giving spiritual aid to soldiers, both Allied and enemy.

After the war, he became a priest, serving as a missionary in Africa, piloting his own plane (in spite of his handicap) to villages across the continent. In 1997, Father Grapje was serving in Zimbabwe when an explosion in a silver mine caused a cave-in. Archbishop Grapje went down into the mine to administer last rights to those too severely injured to move. Another shaft collapsed, and he was buried for three days, suffering multiple injuries, including the loss of his right eye. The high silver content in the mine's air gave him purpura, a life-long condition characterized by purplish skin blotches.

Although Cardinal Grapje devoted his life to the service of God as a scholar, mentor, and holy man, church leaders felt that he should never ascend to the Papacy. They felt that the Church would never accept a one-eyed, one-armed, flying purple Papal leader.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 05 - 09:15 AM

A squad of American soldiers was patrolling along the Iraqi border when they passed the dead body of an Iraqi insurgent in a ditch beside the road. A short distance further along the road, they found a badly
mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road,
barely alive. They ran to him, cradled his blood-covered head and asked
him what had happened.
    "Well," he whispered, "I was walking down this road, armed to the
teeth. I came across this heavily armed Iraqi rebel. I aimed my rifle
and shouted, "Saddam Hussein is an unprincipled, lying piece of shit!"
    He looked me right in the eye and screamed back, "George Bush is an
unprincipled, lying piece of shit!"
    "We were still standing there shaking hands when the truck hit us."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 05 - 09:01 AM

But this does not take into account people (and hence particles, since people are simply piles of particles -- even piles of piles are piles of particles) who are completely repulsive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bunnahabhain
Date: 26 May 05 - 08:58 AM

But "For ever action there is an equal and opposite reaction" is from classical, Newtonian physics. We are now dealing with quantum BS, where anything can happen, and in some versions, has already happened, but we won't know about it until it's far too late, and the banjos come out


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 May 05 - 08:34 AM

Since for every action there is an equal and oppisete reaction it stands to reason that for every woman repulsed by you - there is one equally attracted to you. The trick is meeting them. Likewise - for every woman who totally ignores you there should be a woman who is utterly fascinated by you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 05 - 09:15 PM

So that's what happened!

I always wondered why I was so shunned by girls in high school. It was only my light waves.

Thank goodness that since then women no longer abhor me. In fact, I have to beat 'em off or I'd never get anything done.

What I experience now might be called "antirecoil." Obviously, that should be described as nh*lambda. The problem is, the antirecoil itself causes recoil in the target subject. That creates anti-antirecoil, or nh/lambda, which, of course, creates anti-anti-antirecoil, and so on ad infinitum. In brief, the whole damned universe is just bouncin' around.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 05 - 07:34 PM

URGENT



THE FIRST DIRECT MEASUREMENT OF RECOIL MOMENTUM for single atoms
struck by light in an absorptive medium has been made by Gretchen
Campbell, Dave Pritchard, Wolfgang Ketterle and their colleagues at
MIT. Parcels of light, photons, do not possess mass, but a beam of
light does carry momentum. In general, when light strikes a mirror,
the mirror will recoil ever so slightly, and this recoil has
previously been measured. But what about a single photon striking a
single atom in a dilute gas? The momentum of a photon equals
h/lambda, where h is Planck's constant and lambda is the wavelength
of the light in vacuum. In a dispersive medium, a medium which can
scatter or absorb light, the index of refraction for the medium, n,
comes into play: an object absorbing the photon will recoil with a
momentum equal to nh/lambda. This is what has been measured for the
first time on an atomic basis. The MIT team used laser beams sent
into a dilute gas; a beat note between recoiling atoms and atoms at
rest provided the momentum measurement of selected atoms. The fact
that the recoil momentum should actually be proportional to the
index of refraction came as something of a surprise to the
experimenters.




The existence of momentum without mass is a stunning observation that opens the door to an unfathomable array of new BS.

Not to mention mirrors flinching from incident light rays. I submit tha if the light waves striking the mirror are harmoniously related (as when something of beauty stands before the glass) the mirror will flinch less than if discordant (and therefore ugly) rays are involved.

Please test this theory out and get back to me.

I can't test it myself as all our mirrors here have been leaping out of windows and breaking.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 May 05 - 07:14 PM

True.

I just try to jump up and down with big boots on all over bodrhans bad spelling, as that way I have some hope of getting my own words correct. I'd be as bad as sir jOhn if I wasn't careful...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 05 - 05:05 PM

No, Bunnn...spelling was a bit more liberal =back then....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 May 05 - 12:08 PM

Before we all get carried away, wouldn't the verb 'kipple' go; to kipple, kippling, kippled.

We would have to form the new verb kiple, to arrive at the corect result...

ENGLAND'S on the anvil - hear the hammers ring -
Clanging from the Severn to the Tyne!
Never was a blacksmith like our Norman King -
England's being hammered, hammered, hammered into line!

England's on the anvil! Heavy are the blows!
(But the work will be a marvel when it's done.)
Little bits of Kingdoms cannot stand against their foes.
England's being hammered hammered, hammered into one!

There shall be one people - it shall serve one Lord -
(Neither Priest nor Baron shall escape!)
It shall have one speech and law, soul and strength and sword.
England's being hammered, hammered, hammered into shape!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 05 - 11:51 AM

Dear Gawd, I love that old Brit. Everything he wrote sings from the roots. A good, good man.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 May 05 - 11:15 AM

Apologies for dropping a mere number. I didn't have time to catch up on my daily dose of BS before doing SOMETHING to boost MOM to the top, so the number was easiest.

As I caught up I pulled up Kipling (over Kipple--a good word and concept, by the way, but what discursive value can be found in Kipple, especially when compared with the Bard of British Empirial poetry?)

The Young British Soldier

When the 'arf-made recruity goes out to the East
'E acts like a babe an' 'e drinks like a beast,
An' 'e wonders because 'e is frequent deceased
Ere 'e's fit for to serve as a soldier.
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
Serve, serve, serve as a soldier,
So-oldier OF the Queen!

Now all you recruities what's drafted to-day,
You shut up your rag-box an' 'ark to my lay,
An' I'll sing you a soldier as far as I may:
A soldier what's fit for a soldier.
Fit, fit, fit for a soldier . . .

First mind you steer clear o' the grog-sellers' huts,
For they sell you Fixed Bay'nets that rots out your guts --
Ay, drink that 'ud eat the live steel from your butts --
An' it's bad for the young British soldier.
Bad, bad, bad for the soldier . . .

When the cholera comes -- as it will past a doubt --
Keep out of the wet and don't go on the shout,
For the sickness gets in as the liquor dies out,
An' it crumples the young British soldier.
Crum-, crum-, crumples the soldier . . .

But the worst o' your foes is the sun over'ead:
You must wear your 'elmet for all that is said:
If 'e finds you uncovered 'e'll knock you down dead,
An' you'll die like a fool of a soldier.
Fool, fool, fool of a soldier . . .   

If you're cast for fatigue by a sergeant unkind,
Don't grouse like a woman nor crack on nor blind;
Be handy and civil, and then you will find
That it's beer for the young British soldier.
Beer, beer, beer for the soldier . . .

Now, if you must marry, take care she is old --
A troop-sergeant's widow's the nicest I'm told,
For beauty won't help if your rations is cold,
Nor love ain't enough for a soldier.
'Nough, 'nough, 'nough for a soldier . . .   

If the wife should go wrong with a comrade, be loath
To shoot when you catch 'em -- you'll swing, on my oath! --
Make 'im take 'er and keep 'er: that's Hell for them both,
An' you're shut o' the curse of a soldier.
Curse, curse, curse of a soldier . . .

When first under fire an' you're wishful to duck,
Don't look nor take 'eed at the man that is struck,
Be thankful you're livin', and trust to your luck
And march to your front like a soldier.
Front, front, front like a soldier . . .   

When 'arf of your bullets fly wide in the ditch,
Don't call your Martini a cross-eyed old bitch;
She's human as you are -- you treat her as sich,
An' she'll fight for the young British soldier.
Fight, fight, fight for the soldier . . .

When shakin' their bustles like ladies so fine,
The guns o' the enemy wheel into line,
Shoot low at the limbers an' don't mind the shine,
For noise never startles the soldier.
Start-, start-, startles the soldier . . .

If your officer's dead and the sergeants look white,
Remember it's ruin to run from a fight:
So take open order, lie down, and sit tight,
And wait for supports like a soldier.
Wait, wait, wait like a soldier . . .

When you're wounded and left on Afghanistan's plains,
And the women come out to cut up what remains,
Jest roll to your rifle and blow out your brains
An' go to your Gawd like a soldier.
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
Go, go, go like a soldier,
So-oldier OF the Queen!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 25 May 05 - 08:18 AM

trhe only thing worse then a communication from a lawyers office that says nothing (which is most of them) is a communication from the lawyers office that is blank. G*d only knows what they can do with THAT!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Law Offices Of Style & Grace
Date: 25 May 05 - 08:08 AM

Dear Mr. (Ms?) Habhain:

In your post #7851, you made specific reference to this law firm. Furthermore, said reference was made in a disparaging manner.

We understand that your comments may have been inadvertent, in the sense that you may have been unaware of the existence of this firm. Your use of "Style and Grace" may have been purely coincidental. But, inasmuch as the MOther Of All BS Threads is a work of fiction, it is the author's responsibility to state something to the effect of "This is a work of fiction and all characters are products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to any actual persons is purely coincidental."

Since no such disclaimer was made by you and since the name "Style and Grace" was used without our express permission, please be advised that we are filing civil suit against you in the amount of thirty million pounds.

Sincerely,

Hiram H. Style
Louise P. Grace


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,The Law Offices of Style & Grace
Date: 25 May 05 - 07:48 AM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 25 May 05 - 05:08 AM

Seventy-Eight and Fifty-One,
Is a dandy number for some,
But posting just a number pure,
Lacks style and grace, to be sure.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,SRS
Date: 25 May 05 - 12:21 AM

7850


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 05 - 11:43 PM

Ah, Suzie -- anything that pleases your mind is surely part of the good force in the World!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 24 May 05 - 10:28 PM

Forgot to mention that was the work of Philip K. Dick. The man who invented Kipple. I know this because I am able to use the computer search engine to a capacity that pleases my mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 24 May 05 - 10:21 PM

Do you mean to Kipple like this....
He ascended ? to the covered pasture whereon his electric sheep "grazed." Whereon it, sophisticated piece of hardware that it was, chomped away in simulated contentment, bamboozling the other tenants of the building.
Of course, some of their animals undoubtedly consisted of electronic circuitry fakes, too (he had never nosed into the matter)?Nothing could be more impolite. To say "Is your sheep genuine" would be a breach of etiquette.

Or Kipple like this...


John Isidore ?lived alone in (a) deteriorating, blind building of a thousand uninhabited apartments which like all its counterparts, fell day by day, into greater entropic ruin. Eventually everything within the building would merge, would be faceless and identical, mere pudding-like kipple piled to the ceiling of each apartment. And, after that, the uncared-for building itself would settle into shapelessness, buried under the ubiquity of the dust?'

Or as Isidore puts it himself: "Kipple is useless objects, like junk mail or match folders after you use the last match or gum wrappers of yesterday's homepape. When nobody's around, kipple reproduces itself. For instance, if you go to bed leaving any kipple around your apartment, when you wake up the next morning there's twice as much of it. It always gets more and more." He goes on to say that, "?the First Law of Kipple (is that) 'Kipple drives out nonkipple'? ?(one) can roll the kipple-factor back? No one can win against kipple, except temporarily and maybe in one spot, like in my apartment I've sort of created a stasis between the pressure of kipple and nonkipple, for the time being. But eventually I'll die or go away, and then the kipple will take over. It's a universal principal operating throughout the universe; the entire universe is moving towards a final state of total, absolute kippleization."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 May 05 - 09:18 PM

The number of the previous post, "7845", was of some signifigance at some point in my life, though I don't remember exactly how. Perhaps it was the last four digits of someone's phone number, possibly even my own. Perhaps it was a street address where I once lived. I know it's not the address for the house where I grew up. That one is "7935", which post number I will attempt to claim as my own in a few days.

Actually, that address and my current address are the only two that I can remember out of all the dozens of places I've lived through the years. That would probably disqualify me for employment by various companies and governmental agencies for whom I'd never want to work anyway. "From sometime in 1983 to sometime in 1986 I lived in some house on some street, the name of which I can't recall..." doesn't impress very many human resources types. It's not like they're going to go ask the neighbors if you really lived there twenty-plus years ago or something, but it's a damned good way to show lowly job applicants who's going to be holding onto the hoops and who's going to be jumping through them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 05 - 05:30 PM

Let's everyone Kipple!

SMOKIN' my pipe on the mountings, sniffin' the mornin' cool,
I walks in my old brown gaiters along o' my old brown mule,
With seventy gunners be'ind me, an' never a beggar forgets
It's only the pick of the Army that handles the dear little pets?'Tss! 'Tss!
            For you all love the screw-guns the screw-guns they all love you!
            So when we call round with a few guns, o' course you will know what to do?hoo! hoo!
            Jest send in your Chief an' surrender it's worse if you fights or you runs:
            You can go where you please, you can skid up the trees, but you don't get away from the guns!

They sends us along where the roads are, but mostly we goes where they ain't:
We'd climb up the side of a sign-board an' trust to the stick o' the paint:
We've chivied the Naga an' Looshai, we've give the Afreedeeman fits,
For we fancies ourselves at two thousand, we guns that are built in two bits?'Tss! 'Tss!
            For you all love the screw-guns the screw-guns they all love you!
            So when we call round with a few guns, o' course you will know what to do?hoo! hoo!
            Jest send in your Chief an' surrender it's worse if you fights or you runs:
            You can go where you please, you can skid up the trees, but you don't get away from the guns!

If a man doesn't work, why, we drills 'im an' teaches 'im 'ow to behave;
If a beggar can't march, why, we kills 'im an' rattles 'im into 'is grave.
You've got to stand up to our business an' spring without snatchin' or fuss.
D'you say that you sweat with the field-guns? By God, you must lather with us?'Tss! 'Tss!
            For you all love the screw-guns the screw-guns they all love you!
            So when we call round with a few guns, o' course you will know what to do?hoo! hoo!
            Jest send in your Chief an' surrender it's worse if you fights or you runs:
            You can go where you please, you can skid up the trees, but you don't get away from the guns!

The eagles is screamin' around us, the river's a-moanin' below,
We're clear o' the pine an' the oak-scrub, we're out on the rocks an' the snow,
An' the wind is as thin as a whip-lash what carries away to the plains
The rattle an' stamp o' the lead-mules the jinglety-jink o' the chains?'Tss! 'Tss!
            For you all love the screw-guns the screw-guns they all love you!
            So when we call round with a few guns, o' course you will know what to do?hoo! hoo!
            Jest send in your Chief an' surrender it's worse if you fights or you runs:
            You can go where you please, you can skid up the trees, but you don't get away from the guns!

There's a wheel on the Horns o' the Mornin', an' a wheel on the edge o' the Pit,
An' a drop into nothin' beneath you as straight as a beggar can spit:
With the sweat runnin' out o' your shirt-sleeves, an' the sun off the snow in your face,
An' 'arf o' the men on the drag-ropes to hold the old gun in 'er place?'Tss! 'Tss!
            For you all love the screw-guns the screw-guns they all love you!
            So when we call round with a few guns, o' course you will know what to do?hoo! hoo!
            Jest send in your Chief an' surrender it's worse if you fights or you runs:
            You can go where you please, you can skid up the trees, but you don't get away from the guns!

Smokin' my pipe on the mountings, sniffin' the mornin' cool,
I climbs in my old brown gaiters along o' my old brown mule.
The monkey can say what our road was the wild-goat 'e knows where we passed.
Stand easy, you long-eared old darlin's! Out drag-ropes! With shrapnel! Hold fast?'Tss! 'Tss!
            For you all love the screw-guns the screw-guns they all love you!
            So when we take tea with a few guns, o' course you will know what to do?hoo! hoo!
            Jest send in your Chief an' surrender it's worse if you fights or you runs:
            You may hide in the caves, they'll be only your graves, but you can't get away from the guns!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 24 May 05 - 05:06 PM

But that means typing ... so many times more.

Kabul town's by Kabul river-
Blow the trumpet, draw the sword-
There i lef' my mate for ever,
Wet an' drippin by the ford.
Ford, ford, ford o' Kabul river,
Ford o' Kabul river in the dark!
There's the river up and brimmin', an' there's 'arf a squadron swimmin'
'Cross the ford o' Kabul river in the dark.


Kipling.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 24 May 05 - 03:31 PM

I youse gonna be

annoying

Then be

Really annoying


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 05 - 03:25 PM

Apologies to A. A. Milne for the last one. (But no apology to Morris Dancers.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 May 05 - 03:07 PM

Dang, Rap -- you're finally lifting something that (almost) scans!! You definitely are improving your taste as an artful lifter.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,HTML
Date: 24 May 05 - 01:47 PM

it's not nice to call people names.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 05 - 01:28 PM


HTML
is simple.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 05 - 12:59 PM

James James Morrison Morrison Weatherby George DuPree
Took great care of his MOAB though he was only three
James James said to his MOAB:
"MOAB," he said, said he
"You must never go down to the end of the threads,
if you don't go down with me.
Don't ever go down to the end of the threads,
if you don't go down with me."

James James Morrison's MOAB she ate some raisin breads
James James Morrison's MOAB, she roved to the end of the threads
James James Morrison's MOAB
She said to herself, said she
"Well, I can get down to the end of the threads
And be back in time for tea.
Well, I can get down to the end of the threads
And be back in time for tea."

King Amos put up a notice: "Lost, stolen or strayed,
James James Morrison's MOAB,
She seems to have been mislaid
Wandering vaguely all about quite of her own accord
She tried to get down to the end of the threads--
Forty shillings reward.
She tried to get down to the end of the threads--
Forty shillings reward.

James James Morrison Morrison, commonly known as "Jim"
Said to his other relations not to go blaming him
For James James said to his MOAB
"MOAB", he said, said he
"Don't ever go down to the end of the threads,
If you don't go down with me.
You must never go down to the end of the threads,
If you don't go down with me."

Now James James Morrison's MOAB,
She hasn't been heard of since,
King Amos said he was sorry,
And so did Rustic and SRS,
King Amos, somebody told me,
Said to Bee-Dubya-Ell,
"If people go down to the end of the threads,
Well what can anyone do?
If people go down to the end of the threads,
Well what can anyone do?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 05 - 08:57 AM

A song for Mom (sorry, Peter):

Don't go down to the bottom in the middle of the night
You'll never come back, you'll never be right
We lost others there just last spring
And Big Bee-Dubya, he couldn't do a thing

Big Bee-Dubya made a bet with SRS
That he could go to the bottom in the middle of the night
He got part way there, 'bout halfway down
When he started sinking down with the political clowns

Nearby standin' by the threads where the BS used to come
Was Mad Martin Gibson, beatin' on his drum
Laughin' out loud, eyes rollin' in his head
Standin' on the tracks in Gargoyle's stead

With a long red cape and fire in his eyes
He lifted up his hands to the midnight skies
And the thunder start to roll and the lightenin' flashed wild
And Big Bee-Dubya start a cryin' like a child.

Don't go down to the bottom, don't, don't go down
Don't go down to the bottom, don't, don't go down
Don't go down to the bottom, don't, don't go down
Down, down, down, down

Then the Web gave a shudder, the Mudcat start to split
Screamin' down went Bee-Dub into the fiery pit
With a laugh that shivered the center of the bone
Mad Martin Gibson just standin' there alone

He's callin' all the people, to take their turn
And fall into the pit and eternally burn
Down, down, don't go down
Down, down, down, down.


Don't go down there, Mom. Okay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 05 - 07:15 PM

More annoying than this??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bunnahabhain
Date: 23 May 05 - 06:07 PM

I decided

to see if I could be more annoying than
Brucie with his blue clickies
, and so am learning HTML codes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 05 - 01:32 PM

Just describing a condition, not fecundity. I could have also used "The leprosy has only consumed the nerves in your legs, not in both your arms as well, like we first thought!" or "Good news, General Custer! We're only outnumbered 100 to 1!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 May 05 - 11:26 AM

Rapaire, I think you need to work up a different simile. *Drought* and *fecundity* don't quite to work when you're describing degrees of drought.

I'd think it's more along the lines of "you have eight months to live instead of six."

just a pedant moment


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 05 - 09:12 AM

I know what it is! I know what it is! I hacked the CIA/NSA super-secret satellite x-ray photo database that the CIA/NSA/FBI keeps on MMario and I know what it is! All I can say is, I didn't know that you could knit a sweater for that!

I couldn't get onto MC this morning via either door but I could get in via Help and I was able to log in there and even go to threads and so here I am and happy Monday, Mom.

Yes, I did spend yesterday in yard. Giving the lawn a second cut in two days. Been a lot of rain here, thank goodness. We've moved from an official condition of "Extreme Drought" to an official condition of "Drought." That's like the doctor saying, "Good news! You're not eight months pregnant, you're only SIX months pregnant!"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 23 May 05 - 07:56 AM

I wasn't working in the yard, because it was chilly and cold and damp and nasty out. But I was working on the latest super secret project that I can't talk about.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 05 - 11:53 PM

Forget the dejas vu--now we need some of vous! Back to the top, Mom! Everyone must have been out working in the yard today. They'll come dragging in soon, tired and sunburned.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:21 AM

This is Dejĺ Moue all over again!! (That's when you make a face because you've heard this bull before more than once!)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 May 05 - 10:18 AM

You don't have one about the silent "p" in "swimming."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 21 May 05 - 10:08 PM

1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.

2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything."

3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.

4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

6. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road."

5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?"

6. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'"
"That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."

7. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning."
"I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.

8. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

9. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.

10 . I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

11 . A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't - I've cut off your arms!"

12 . I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.

13 . What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

14 . Two termites walk into a bar. One asks, "Is the bar tender here?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 May 05 - 05:20 PM

As long as it is sects composed of consenting adults, where's the harm?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 05 - 02:28 PM

It's like I've been saying. All this stuff about religion these days, the Religious Right, prayer in schools, the ten commandments in courthouses, all that stuff -- and I for one am gettin' sick of all this focus on nothin' but sects, sects, sects.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 May 05 - 11:55 AM

I bet they didn't read the entire thread, either. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 May 05 - 11:33 AM

I guess that those sorts are everywhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 21 May 05 - 02:10 AM

Oh Please...
O O O O please, please baby will you get me down on my knees
O O O O baby please,
you gonna be the one to tell me how I am?...
O O O O please,
it's gonna a be a cold, colder day, when you want me to act your way,
O O O O please...
Live your life and I'll fuck with yoursssssssssssssss.............


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 May 05 - 11:35 PM

Or another type of blush (not one I bother with).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 May 05 - 07:35 PM

Deep blush.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 May 05 - 04:07 PM

*blush*

I try.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 May 05 - 04:01 PM

A number of true power, indeed! Oh, my, YES indeedy!


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