Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134] [1135] [1136]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 21 Jul 04 - 08:43 PM
Amos 21 Jul 04 - 07:36 PM
Rapparee 21 Jul 04 - 03:09 PM
Rapparee 21 Jul 04 - 11:34 AM
Amos 21 Jul 04 - 10:12 AM
Acme 21 Jul 04 - 10:08 AM
Rapparee 21 Jul 04 - 09:17 AM
GUEST,MMario 21 Jul 04 - 09:11 AM
Rapparee 21 Jul 04 - 09:05 AM
Acme 21 Jul 04 - 01:47 AM
Little Hawk 20 Jul 04 - 11:10 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 04 - 09:53 PM
Acme 20 Jul 04 - 06:56 PM
Amos 20 Jul 04 - 06:03 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 04 - 01:02 PM
freda underhill 20 Jul 04 - 12:31 PM
GUEST,MMario 20 Jul 04 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 20 Jul 04 - 11:53 AM
Little Hawk 20 Jul 04 - 10:27 AM
Amos 20 Jul 04 - 10:05 AM
Acme 20 Jul 04 - 09:58 AM
Rapparee 20 Jul 04 - 09:52 AM
Little Hawk 19 Jul 04 - 11:37 PM
Amos 19 Jul 04 - 08:37 PM
Rapparee 19 Jul 04 - 08:22 PM
Amos 19 Jul 04 - 05:57 PM
Rapparee 19 Jul 04 - 03:51 PM
Amos 19 Jul 04 - 02:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 19 Jul 04 - 02:02 PM
Acme 19 Jul 04 - 12:18 PM
Rapparee 19 Jul 04 - 09:55 AM
Rapparee 18 Jul 04 - 11:20 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jul 04 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 04 - 09:41 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jul 04 - 08:53 PM
Rapparee 18 Jul 04 - 08:30 PM
Little Hawk 18 Jul 04 - 07:56 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 18 Jul 04 - 06:30 PM
Amos 18 Jul 04 - 11:33 AM
Rapparee 18 Jul 04 - 11:19 AM
Acme 18 Jul 04 - 03:34 AM
Rapparee 17 Jul 04 - 03:34 PM
Amos 17 Jul 04 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 17 Jul 04 - 03:23 PM
Amos 17 Jul 04 - 02:21 PM
Acme 17 Jul 04 - 02:07 PM
Amos 17 Jul 04 - 01:03 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 17 Jul 04 - 12:41 AM
Amos 16 Jul 04 - 05:14 PM
Rapparee 16 Jul 04 - 05:13 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:



Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 08:43 PM

Sorry, no.

The correct question for the answer is:

"How does Steven Hawking make small talk at cocktail parties?"


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 07:36 PM

"What is Euclidean anti de Sitter space conformal to?", right?? BZZZZT!!! I'm a millioniare!!



A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 03:09 PM

Amos, here's your answer:

The thermodynamic partition function, Z, for a system at temperature, beta to the minus one, is the expectation value of e to the minus beta, times the Hamiltonian, summed over all states. As is now well known, this can be represented by a Euclidean path integral, over all fields that are periodic in Euclidean time, with period beta at infinity. Similarly, the partition function for a system with angular velocity, omega, will be given by a path integral over all fields, that are periodic under the combination of a Euclidean time translation, beta, and a rotation, omega beta. One can also specify the gauge potential at infinity. This gives the partition function for a thermodynamic ensemble, with electric and magnetic type charges. The mass, angular momentum, and electric charges of the configurations in the path integral, are not determined by the boundary conditions at infinity. They can be different for different configurations. Each configuration, will therefore be weighted in the partition function, by an e to the minus the charge, times the corresponding potential. On the other hand, the magnetic type charges, are uniquely determined by the boundary conditions at infinity, and are the same for all field configurations in the path integral. The path integral therefore gives the partition function, for a given magnetic charge sector.

The lowest order contribution to the partition function, will be e to the minus I, where I, is the action of the Euclidean black hole solution. The action can be related to the Hamiltonian, as integral H, minus pq dot. In a stationary black hole metric, all the q dots will be zero. Thus the action, I, will be the time period beta, time the value of the Hamiltonian. As I said earlier, the Hamiltonian surface term at infinity, is mass, plus omega J, plus Phi Q, and the Hamiltonian surface term on the horizon, is zero. If one uses the contribution from this action to the partition function, and uses the standard formula, one finds the entropy is zero.

However, because the surfaces of constant Euclidean time, all intersected at the horizon, one had to introduce an inner boundary there. The action, I, = beta times Hamiltonian, is the action for region between the boundary at infinity infinity, and a small tubular neighbourhood of the horizon. But the partition function, is given by a path integral over all metrics with the required behavior at infinity, and no internal boundaries or infinities. One therefore has to add the action of the tubular neighbourhood of the horizon. What ever supergravity theory one is using, and what ever dimension one is in, one can make a conformal transformation of the metric to the Einstein frame, in which the coefficient of the Einstein Hilbert action, capital R, is on over 16 pi G, where G is Newton's constant in the dimension of the theory. The surface term associate with the Einstein Hilbert action, is one over 8 pi G, times the trace of the second fundamental form. This gives the tubular neighbourhood of the horizon, an action of minus one over 4 G, times the codimension two area of the horizon. If one adds this action to the beta times Hamiltonian, one gets a contribution to the entropy, of area over 4 G, independent of dimension, or of the particular supergravity theory. Higher order curvature terms in the action, would give the tubular neighbourhood an action, that was small compared to area over 4 G, for large black holes. Thus the quarter area law, is universal for black holes. It can be traced to the non trivial topology of Euclidean black holes, which provides an obstruction to foliating them by a family of time surfaces, and using the Hamiltonian to generate a unitary evolution of quantum states. Because the entropy is given by the horizon area in Planck units, one might think that it corresponded to microstates, that are localized near the horizon. However, gravitational entropy, like gravitational energy, can not be localized, but can only be defined globally. This can be seen most clearly in the case of the three dimensional BTZ black hole, to which all four or five dimensional black holes, can be related by a series of U dualities, which preserve the horizon area. The BTZ black hole, is a solution of the 2+1 Einstein equations, with a negative cosmological constant.

Locally, the only solution of these equations, is anti de Sitter space, but the global structure can be different. To see this, one can picture anti de Sitter space, as conformal to the interior of a cylinder in 2+1 Minkowski space. The surface of the cylinder, represents the time like infinity of anti de Sitter space. Similarly, Euclidean anti de Sitter space, is conformal to the interior of a cylinder in three dimensional Euclidean anti de Sitter space. If one now identify this cylinder periodically along its axis, one occasions the background geometry for quantum fields in anti de Sitter space, at a finite temperature.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 11:34 AM

Amos, are you thinking of pruning Chucky's plums?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 10:12 AM

Them as ain't had proper raisin' need some proper prunin', and thassa fack. Fer plum sartain.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 10:08 AM

I bet their kids don't make mother's day gifts of pin cushions (out of tuna fish cans, sand, glue, and felt) or popsicle stick picture frames, either.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 09:17 AM

Well, considering from whom they are descended they probably can't help it. Really. I mean, look at some of those they claim as ancestors! And their homes are full of paintings, and not a sad clown, a velvet Elvis, or a big-eyed child in the lot! And I sincerely doubt that they've EVER run a trotline or put stinkbait on a hook. I can only think that, as we used to say, "They haven't had proper raisin'."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 09:11 AM

Castle trash *are* a real social problem - they move into the neighborhood - and the property values plummet - all those manicured lawns, and tennis courts! TOPIARY!!!! you would think they would have at least a self-respect. Like a pink flamingo on the lawn - the least they could do is TRY to fit in and respect the mores of the community they live in.

Would you believe some of them (not all, I'm sure) have

servants?


unbelievable. In this day and age?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 09:05 AM

I was in England when Diana was killed and she told me that it wasn't. She also told me that it was Chuck who wouldn't let her bring me some nice tea when my wife and I were motoring in the Balmoral area that cold, wet, October night. She wanted to, thought it would be "downright neighborly" (to use her own words), but Chuck wouldn't let her -- got downright hostile, she said. Anyway, I'd crossed her off my "invite list" because of it, but I've since restored her and in fact I chatted briefly with her when a few spirits dropped in for a drop the other night.

Chucky still is off and there's powerful little chance he's going to be restored to full social status. The very idea, hangin' around with that floozy when poor Di was just sitting at home, wearing a revealing negligee and just waiting, waiting, waiting.... Then he'd come home smelling of cheap beer, cheap cigars, and cheaper perfume, and just drop into bed wearing his dirty boxer shorts and snore and burp from both ends. Just some castle trash, if you ask me.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Jul 04 - 01:47 AM

And you think "Idaho" is better?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 11:10 PM

Rapaire! It is not proper to use the term "Indiana" on this forum, as it is deemed offensive to the memory of the late Princess of Wales.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 09:53 PM

I'm not whiff! I bathed just...let's see...I remember it because the day was sooo cold and there was snow on the ground...hmmmm...I think I was living in Indiana, so it would have been before 2000....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 06:56 PM

but not a wuss


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 06:03 PM

And something of a whiff, at that....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 01:02 PM

I'm a waif....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 12:31 PM

my mother was a WAAF..


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 12:19 PM

SRS - My Mom was a WAVE; One aunt a WAFT; and my other Aunt was a Lady Marine.*



*(never EVER under any circumstance** refer to a Lady Marine as a 'BAM'. Big Mistake, Probably one of the worst I have ever made in my life.)



**unless actively suicidal


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 11:53 AM

Thank God we've finally achieved something!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 10:27 AM

We have Shatnerization!!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 10:05 AM

Fie!! Fie!! Fie!!! Fie!! Fie!!! Fie!!!



A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 09:58 AM

My mother (a former WAC) had a favorite miltary joke:

If a WAC is a female soldier, and a WAVE is a female sailor, what is a WOK?


(Answer included for those prescient enough to know how to find it.)




It's what you throw at a Wabbit!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Jul 04 - 09:52 AM

Never dropped no roach there! Probably would have hurt like blazes.

Here's a little something one of them radical hippie commie Purdue University perfessers sent out:
------------
Two boys in Boston were playing basketball when a rabid Rottweiler attacked one of them. Thinking quickly, the other boy ripped a board off a nearby fence, wedged it into the dog's collar and twisted it, breaking the dog's neck.

A newspaper reporter from the Boston Herald witnessed the incident and rushed over to interview the boy.

The reporter began entering data into his laptop, beginning with the

headline: "Brave Young Celtics Fan Saves Friend From Jaws Of Vicious Animal."

"But I'm not a Celtics fan, "the little hero interjected. "Sorry, replied the reporter. "But since we're in Boston, I just assumed you were."

Hitting the delete key, the reporter began "John Kerry Fan rescues Friend From Horrific Dog Attack."

"But I'm not a Kerry fan either," the boy responds. The reporter says, "I assumed everybody in this state was either for the Celtics or Kerry or Kennedy."

"What team or person do you like? " "I'm a Houston Rockets fan and I really like George W. Bush" the boy says.

Hitting the delete key, the reporter begins again, "Arrogant Little Conservative Bastard Kills Beloved Family Pet."


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 11:37 PM

A ball-coney must be a male rabbit, right? Sort of like a cockroach, only much larger.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 08:37 PM

Dang....BALconies?? I never heard of no gender with no balconies built in. Dat must be one BIG gender indeed, Mister Rapaire. I'm have inclined to move to that there IDAho my own self.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 08:22 PM

No, a great big one. Balconies and everything.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 05:57 PM

WHich is all just his way of confessing that he has a very small gender...


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 03:51 PM

Je parle Francais une peu. Y, yo hablo Espanol uno poco. Und, ich spreichen sei Deutsch nicht.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 02:33 PM

Well, somedays there's male and some days there's none...


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 02:02 PM

Rapaire is an English-speaking American. He doesn't have a gender. If he spoke Spanish, French, Italian or German he would have a gender... as would his sofa, his computer, his car, his broccoli....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 12:18 PM

I thought that was going to be the one about the gay roosters. . .

You have a gender all day long, Rap, but as for sex. . .


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Jul 04 - 09:55 AM

The Chicken Story

Zeb was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young
layers, called pullets, and eight or ten roosters, whose job was to
fertilize the eggs.

Zeb kept records, and any rooster that didn't perform well went into
the soup pot and was replaced. That took an awful lot of Zeb's time; so, Zeb got a set of tiny bells and attached them to his roosters. Each bell had a different tone so that Zeb could tell, from a distance, which rooster was performing. Now he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report simply by listening to the bells.

Zeb's favorite rooster was old Brewster. A very fine specimen he was,
too but on this particular morning, Zeb noticed that Brewster's bell
had not rung at all!! Zeb went to investigate. The other roosters were chasing pullets, bells a-ringing! The pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover. But, to Zeb's amazement, Brewster had his bell in his beak, so it couldn't ring. He'd sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

Zeb was so proud of Brewster that he entered him in the county fair.
Brewster was an overnight sensation.

The judges not only awarded him the No Bell Piece Prize but also the
Pulletsurprise.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 11:20 PM

We got our friends in Orillia or whadever ya call that dinky little Canuck place ya live in. Maybe I'll have a couple drop by an see ya. I'd send, you know, Vinnie and Slash but I gotta use the local talent 'cause of Union rules so I'll have Bob and Alexander drop around. Vinnie and Slash would use some rebar on your kneecaps, but like I say, it's Canada, so they'll give you a good Dutch rub or maybe an Indian burn or noogies or something. Ya keep up yer smart-assin' ways and they'll provide you with a one-way ride, Canadian style -- you know, where ya gotta walk home. So, unless you want ta find a moosehead in yer bed, ya better wise up -- otherwise yer gonna have ta keep drinkin' labatts.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:55 PM

Now you're talking like an Italian gangster.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 09:41 PM

I have a sex all day, every day. I can't remember a day when I was without it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 08:53 PM

Having sex 25 or more times a day can cause you to lose weight too.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 08:30 PM

I don't usually wear black, unless you count my socks and shoes (and sometimes my underwear, but that's because I don't change it all that often). Some would also count my heart and soul.

BWL, them peanuts make a great snack in the evening with a little salt on 'em. And it seems like sometimes I eat my words.

No, really, all seriousness aside, I'm eating a high-protein diet and I'm limited to a max of 45 grams of simple carbohydrates per meal. Complex carbohydrates are another matter, as is fiber and shit like that (yeah, that was intentional). So, like I'm right here in potato country and I'm limited in the potatoes I can have. I rarely eat pasta things anymore, usually only at cheap-type luncheons that have a boring speaker and serve water with a tiny piece of lemon in it.

Now, EVERYTHING that's worth eating has gobs of fat and carbohydrates. Stuff like REAL pie crust and fried chicken and chicken-fried steak and garlic mashed potatoes and popcorn swimming in butter-flavored grease and lasagna and biscuits-and-gravy and pizza ice cream and corn on the cob...and...and....

So I'm eating stuff like jerky. Like broccoli. Like a very lean steak no larger than the palm of my hand (and thin, too). Like salmon fillets -- small ones. Like salads, with lemon juice instead of thousand island dressing. Like a tablespoon of bare brown rice.

I'm making myself very sad, but like I said, non-food stuff. It'll keep you alive, it's healthy as all hell, I've lost 22 pounds (weight, not money) since I started back in early February.

And nope, I wouldn't cheat, nope, not me, not ever, nope, no sirree!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 07:56 PM

I just realized something. It hit me like a brilliant flash of lightning emblazoned across a darkened sky and gave me chills...William Shatner is probably the greatest thespian ever and he usually does not wear black! This has some profound significance upon which may hang the fate of Western civilization, and I am going to figure it out if it takes me all week. I would appreciate help on this if anyone is so inclined...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 06:30 PM

I'm on a strict diet consisting solely of nonfood items...

So, like, what can you eat, Rap? Styrofoam peanuts?



And why is the magic link thingy at the bottom of this page showing a link to law firm that specializes in defending people against federal charges? Have we said something to attract the attention of that Rumsfeld feller? Or is it just a not-so-subtle warning?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 11:33 AM

For my part, if I were to throw myself in to Comfort Food, I can only say that the 10 or so pounds I have gained since quitting smoking would redouble. So much as I appreciate your impulse, I will have to seek my comfort in other avenues.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 11:19 AM

I can't!'

I'm on a strict diet consisting solely of nonfood items due to a diagnosis of insulin resistance. If I went over there my mouth would start to water, and before you know it by blood sugar would be 350.

But, ya know, what a way to go!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Jul 04 - 03:34 AM

First feats and now digits. The anatomy of a thread.

You two oughta toddle on over to the comfort food thread. I defy you to come up with zero calories over there. :)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 03:34 PM

Zero is the number of digits in my IQ, I'll have you know!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 03:30 PM

Rapire:

For you sir, I promise to remember that Zero is a number.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 03:23 PM

Didja hear about the cat who ate cheese and them waited by the mouse hole with baited breath?

I thought you might have.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 02:21 PM

Yer feat's too big!! Can't love ya cuz yer feat's too big!! Pull in yer horns, ya know yer feet's too big!! No good, because yer feat's too big!


It has a certain je-ne-sais-quoi to it./.. Should be offered to very large corporations for their executive re-orientation training....


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 02:07 PM

His feat's too big?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 01:03 AM

Geeze, BWL, I was just trying to steer him off his obsession and fixation on Shatface. I don't care who knows how to spell what. Did you get wrongly disqualified in the 8th grade Spelling bee? Anyway, my little stunt is obviously overpriced since his feat is much less unusual than I said it was. So, LH, I will have to reduce my offer by half.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 17 Jul 04 - 12:41 AM

Amos, Amos, Amos....

Everybody knows that it's "bated" breath. Misspelling it as "baited" is a cheap sophomoric attempt at wit. It's not that we don't know how to spell. It's that we are totally lacking in originality and won't let an old joke die.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 05:14 PM

Oh, all right, then, Little Hawk. Four figures seems fair to me as well. How about .0125?

In Iraqi dirham.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Jul 04 - 05:13 PM

Amos, remember that zero is a number.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 22 November 9:12 PM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.