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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 17 Oct 03 - 12:51 AM
Rustic Rebel 17 Oct 03 - 12:41 AM
Amos 14 Oct 03 - 05:03 PM
Rapparee 14 Oct 03 - 04:28 PM
Rapparee 14 Oct 03 - 10:58 AM
GUEST,MMario 14 Oct 03 - 10:19 AM
Little Hawk 14 Oct 03 - 10:10 AM
Amos 14 Oct 03 - 09:56 AM
Rapparee 14 Oct 03 - 08:55 AM
Amos 14 Oct 03 - 08:50 AM
Rustic Rebel 13 Oct 03 - 11:48 PM
Amos 13 Oct 03 - 11:48 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 03 - 11:39 PM
Amos 13 Oct 03 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 03 - 11:28 PM
Little Hawk 13 Oct 03 - 11:10 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 03 - 10:57 PM
Amos 13 Oct 03 - 10:55 PM
Rustic Rebel 13 Oct 03 - 10:32 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Oct 03 - 10:22 PM
Naemanson 13 Oct 03 - 09:05 PM
Amos 13 Oct 03 - 08:44 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 03 - 07:16 PM
GUEST,Kim C no cookie 13 Oct 03 - 05:45 PM
GUEST,Tweed 13 Oct 03 - 05:39 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 03 - 05:07 PM
Amos 13 Oct 03 - 03:10 PM
Rapparee 13 Oct 03 - 02:50 PM
Amos 12 Oct 03 - 10:01 PM
GUEST,freds: a message for Amos 12 Oct 03 - 09:54 PM
Rustic Rebel 12 Oct 03 - 09:44 PM
Amos 12 Oct 03 - 08:36 PM
Little Hawk 12 Oct 03 - 07:32 PM
GUEST,freds 12 Oct 03 - 07:02 PM
Little Hawk 12 Oct 03 - 01:04 PM
Rapparee 12 Oct 03 - 12:48 PM
Rapparee 11 Oct 03 - 09:30 PM
Amos 11 Oct 03 - 01:29 PM
Little Hawk 11 Oct 03 - 11:57 AM
Amos 11 Oct 03 - 11:08 AM
Rapparee 11 Oct 03 - 09:02 AM
Amos 10 Oct 03 - 10:25 PM
Rapparee 10 Oct 03 - 07:23 PM
Little Hawk 10 Oct 03 - 07:14 PM
Amos 10 Oct 03 - 06:43 PM
Little Hawk 10 Oct 03 - 06:09 PM
GUEST,Kim C no cookie 10 Oct 03 - 05:44 PM
Rapparee 09 Oct 03 - 05:45 PM
GUEST,Kim C no cookie 09 Oct 03 - 03:33 PM
Amos 09 Oct 03 - 12:42 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Oct 03 - 12:51 AM

RR:

Your are so fluid when you write like that -- it's mind boggling!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 17 Oct 03 - 12:41 AM

Can this be the cong`e of the Mother?
The swan song to the end?
Bullshit at the caf`e has had it's Terminus Ad Quem?
Has it's telic been reached?
The `tout ensemble has `tout `a fait and `tout de suite pretermitted?
Ah, good fellows, don't be lugubrious,
because I'm bringing it back up without a thing to vocalize.

Viva la Mother of all BS threads!



Can this be Deja Vu?


No....


I don't think I was watching the moon rise over the trees,
sitting at my computer completely naked,
rubbing my belly, thinking I'm Budda like,
waiting for this thread to load while drinking filtered water out of a coconut,
realizing that today could be tomorrow
and knowing this thread will not die on my account.


No...



I don't think I was here before.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 05:03 PM

They passed you over? The Post??? You oughta sue!! Agism obviously rampant (on a field of mindless glee).

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 04:28 PM

When I first read this I thought that they'd found me again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 10:58 AM

Yeah, Mario, I wanted it that way.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 10:19 AM

sometimes my imagination astounds me...but this seems to be becoming a nightmare!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 10:10 AM

I love slipping the word "solypsism" into casual conversations with people who are discussing hockey or politics or stuff like that...

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 09:56 AM

Oh, g'wan witcha -- that's impossible!! Couldn't be!! **bg**

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 08:55 AM

Didja hear about the solypsist who vanished? His motto was "Nil cogito, ergo nihil sum."





I didn't think so. That's why the above doesn't exist.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Oct 03 - 08:50 AM

You might have created a universe without that word in it, RR. In which case you shouldn't be hanging about with the lowlifes around this thread... :>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 11:48 PM

I had to go grumbling to my dictionary for that one. The word wasn't in there so I searched to find that the word couldn't be in my book since I didn't know the word.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 11:48 PM

Well,   I know why I dreamed you up. First of all, I needed a really good librarian to emanate order into the universe, which has, you will agree, grown somewhat chaotic of late; and second I needed someone to catch up to as fast as I could go. Why not, I thought, do two kilns with one stoned bird? As the old saying goes...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 11:39 PM

Of course I did and do and will.

WHY did I think Amos up? I'll have to think about that....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 11:37 PM

If you were really a solipsist you'd already know the answer to that question, man. There ya go!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 11:28 PM

And what, pray tell, use it that? You can tell me without fear, because I created you and everything else.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 11:10 PM

Right on, guys! And just consider how many meanings and usages the common word "f*ck" has...it's virtually endless in its applications. The meaning must be deduced almost entirely from the context, rather than by literal interpretation. Amazing, ain't it?

The word solypsism, on the other hand, has only one use (that I know of) but it's still a very cool word.

Sort of like the Alpha and Omega of language, eh?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 10:57 PM

As the Catepillar felt about words, so I feel about rectal outlets.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 10:55 PM

I hear ya, RR -- ain't it something, really, how much we can hang on the back of one of them little words, and do they complain? Not hardly!!

It's just amazing what they will put up with. If someone tried to jam me that full of different meanings to carry around, and multiple concepts fer each meaning, and so on, I'd just put my foot down. I would balk, and so would you, truth be known. But you never hear of words doing that. Oh, no, they're true blue. That's why I am so fond of the little fellers -- they'll just keep going as long as they are called upon to serve or until they drop dead from being overly ill-defined one too many times. That's loyalty, and if you were looking for loyalty, why words is a good place to start. That's what I think.

Hope you agree,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 10:32 PM

Naemanson, is there ever really an end to Bullshit around here?, Hell according to leedle hawkie not only are we the bsers of bs but he has now dubbed half of us assholes to which I feel honored and adored, as should all.
As for Hawk, he should also feel honored and adored, for he is the M.A.N. (Main Asshole Now-a-days)! Har!
Now the thing is, asshole can be taken several different ways.
1. The most helpful part of your body, for without it, you would just be plain full of shit.
2.The donkey hole which could be numerous in it's definition. An eye, an ear, a mouth, etc...
3.It could be an abbreviation for assagai hole, which could mean either you were pierced by an arrow, or you represent an accurate and skillful sport.
As I said, several different meanings to one little word. Imagine that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 10:22 PM

Greetings, Ya'll!

I must apologize for my recent lack of participation in the MOAB. There are times when one must pursue activities having to do with collecting pictures of dead presidents (plus non-presidents Hamilton and Franklin). Such activities leave one little time to devote to ruminant feces.

I am shocked and disheartened to hear of the passing of my once-beloved Bubba Bubba. I am glad that it appears that herit's end was sudden and painless. As for the former city of Seattle, Pike Street Market will be sorely missed, but if the destruction extended far enough outward from the city center to take a large chunk of Microsoft's holdings with it, I guess we'll call that an even trade.

I am pleased to hear that Bubba Bubba chose to name herit's hatchlings after yours truly. It sounds like little Ell is a chip off the old block. Though I've never actually eaten a Buick I did once pass a Toyota. If one of the little blighters would like to stop by for a visit, I have a couple of large diseased oak trees on my property that they are welcome to have for lunch. It'd save me from having to play Paul Bunyan.

BTW, this is post #1251 which just happens to be the month and year of my birth. If this thread makes it to 123,151, my birthdate, I've got dibs on it. Ya hear?

BWL - KOACOT


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Naemanson
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 09:05 PM

I had to drop in to this thread to check its progress. 1250 posts! Amazing! Is there no end to it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 08:44 PM

I want a REAL answer to "What has become of Khandu?". I know this is the wrong place to ask for anything real, but I am desperate.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 07:16 PM

Lordamercy, Tweed! Are you sayin' that Khandu might be in JAIL???


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 05:45 PM

I was an English major and delight in regularly massacring proper grammar rules just out of meanness. But it's true what Amos said - lack of subject/verb agreement was very common in the 19th century in informal writings and conversation. It was regarded as Not Right, but people did it anyway. I don't have any problem at all with slang or dialects in informal settings.

What, me, an Asshole? Wow. A new honor. I don't think I've ever been called that before. Leastways not to my face... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Tweed
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 05:39 PM

Thank you Rustic Darlin' for nominating Lord Khandarz, Bee Dubya (THE KNOWER OF MORE THAN A COUPLE THINGS), Queen Carol the CrapperGirl and myself to the pantheon of Assholes who posted on this endless roll of single-ply butt wipe. Our group is truly full of bullshit, horseshit, mule shit, and buffalo chips. My only hope is that King Khardnagz, the BENEFICENT EMPEROR OF MISSISSIPPI is still free and running around loose somewhere and able to view his magnificent legacy! ;~)

Yerzervant az allus,
Tweed
Knight of the Realm of Tupelo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 05:07 PM

"Shared sorrow decreases. Shared joy increases. Thus do we refute Entropy."

Too bad, Amos. I guess you'll never know. Too bad, really.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 03:10 PM

Rapaire:

What folks? Freds have names?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Oct 03 - 02:50 PM

Does anyone else know Mike Callahan, Jake Stonebender, Doc Webster, and the rest of the folks?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 10:01 PM

Dear freds:

You underestimate me. I was quite aware of the polymorphous nature of your sexual appetites. Nor was I under any false impressions about the real nature of your BubbaBubba hubbahubba flubba.

I would like to say first that your description runs the risk of giving sexual happiness a bad name on this planet and I suggest that this is a VERYunwise thing to do. I can't think of anything MORE certain to jeapordize your success here.

Second of all I think your translator needs correction. It may be very good, but around her we spell that "she-it" combination with an extra "e" and pronounce it with a Southern drawl. And I know a "sheeit" when I see one.

Thanks,


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds: a message for Amos
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 09:54 PM

Amos, you shame yourself. We freds are quite linguistically complex; what you read here is simply what comes out of a translator, a quite good and quite sophisticated one. NOT like that ones those cheapshit bastards sold...oh, nevermind, nevermind.

Correctly, Bubba Bubba was a ÐązŊalact (there is no other way to enscribe this word in your feeble alphabets, so this near-phonetic spelling will have to do). As you may or may not be aware, these are often described as neuter-female, although they are of course actually neither. In reproduction, a ÐązŊalact will caress those creatures whose
DNA and other biochemistries are needed; this is considered by many to be the ultimate erotic experience (and if you have never experienced a twelveway, with kyleɚthʥ nuzzling you while everyone is warmed by the fur of the enfolding sloga, you have never experienced sexual happiness – or polymorph perversity, for that matter). Fortunately or unfortunately, depending upon your point of view, a ÐązŊalact must and will ensure conception by consuming the cranial matter of those it conjugates with. Naturally, the more complex and wide-ranging the DNA of the conjugates the more diverse the hatchlings.

The translator is set to translate ÐązŊalact as “ither” or “herit” and related words, reinforcing the neuter-female gender. Of course, when the Change Of Life comes and a ÐązŊalact modifies to neuter-neuter or female-female or female-male or male-male or neuter-male or one of the other, more esoteric genders, the translator modifies the words as appropriate (you can find any of the appropriate terms in any good dictionary, so we shan’t give them here).

Of course, this discussion does not include the dimensional aspects of our sexuality, such as what some on this planet might call multi-dimensional polygonal orgies. Should you wish to read up on this, we recommend the works of the noted scholar ʧʄalßþak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 09:44 PM

I feel very privileged that you included me in on the major asshole list of the most major mudcat thread in history Little Hawk.
You seemed to have left out a few other assholes though.
Like King Kandu for starters. He started this mess got us on a roll and left us to our own feces. What kind of King is that? An Asshole King.
And how about the Tweedster? It seems to me he breezes in, gets on someones ass about some off the wall excrement and he's not on the list? I will now nominate Tweed.
Let me also nominate Bee-Dubya-ell. He has proven himself equal in all aspects of the word.
I also feel Kim is catching on very quickly, have no fear, dear. We certainly can not exclude you from the list.
And I have not forgotten the Queen of the Privy. Another example of abandonment from royalty.
Ah yes, Assholes one and all. United we stand, divided it would be a little harder to have a good bowel movement.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 08:36 PM

It's not progressive from a freds view. They have been stuck, linguistically, with that ephemeral sexual ambiguity since their language crystallized 23, 345, 654.0933 years ago . This itshe shit is not advanced-- it is just indefinite, pusillanimous and vacuous -- you'd think a real civilization would have settled this gender issue long since!!

But not freds, noooooo!!! They're still flipflopping. Can't even decide which gender is which!! Call that advanced??

I spit.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 07:32 PM

Good gawd...

See what I mean? Nice picture, Freds. I think you have done us a favour in these politically correct times, providing the word "ither" (pronounced to rhyme with "whither" I assume) to replace the sexist words "his" and "her" and the awkward substitute "their". Very progressive.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 07:02 PM

We must impart sad, sad tidings.

Bubba Bubba (as you knew ither) is no more. Sheit has moved on to Another Plane. We think so, at least, as her passing was quite spectacular.

Were it not for the fact that she considered all of you to be friends, we would not tell you this. But even though your own Regime objects and feels that the knowledge of her passing is best disguised, we assure you that what we impart is the actual, unvarnished, unpainted Truth Of The Matter.

Bubba Bubba was, as we're certain you are aware, searching for a means to confront Bee-dubya-ell about his part in the creation of the hatchlings. To this end she had traveled from a point near what you call Redfield, South Dakota to where we had hidden our transport pod in the area around what you call Mount Rainer. Itshe managed to enter the pod by bypassing the cryptoguard and flung it skywards, ither anger apparently overriding herit's good sense. Itshe accelerated too quickly inside a gravitational field, and the result was photographed and posted to your Internet here.

As you can tell, your Regime has done a fairly poor job of coverup, but it will probably suffice. Our pity goes out not to Bubba Bubba, whose 4.5638 millenia were well lived, but to those who once lived in the now non-existent town of Seattle. The gravonic, photonic, and other radiations from the disintergration of the pod has obliterated all traces of the town and those who once lived there. Again, your Regime is perpetrating a coverup for fear of losing next year's Regime choice.

We are certain that Bubba Bubba would have apologized for ither actions, were sheit available to do so. We apologize for her, and assure you that the three hatchlings, Bee, Dubya, and Ell, are well and frisky after stewing. They are cute little things, and Ell (can you believe it?) ate a "Buick" just yesterday! Again, we offer apologies to the driver's survivors, but kids will be kids, won't they?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 01:04 PM

We should all get a prize. This is undoubtedly the longest running thread in Mudcat history, and possibly the stupidest too...although there's SERIOUS competition out there when it comes to that!

There is a dedicated central core of real major @$$holes who have kept this thread running all this time...me, Amos, Rapaire, Rustic Rebel, Bobert, and of course GUEST, freds, who is probably the biggest @$$hole in Galactic history.

I am proud to stand in such exalted company.

"Never in the field of human BS was so much inflicted upon so many by so few."

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Oct 03 - 12:48 PM

Holey Moley, I was post 1-2-3-4 and didn't even know it! Do I get a prize??


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 03 - 09:30 PM

Amos -- if you can't tree 'em, what good are they? Certainly wouldn't be sensible.

Besides, I knew a guy who died from an overdose of morpheme. It's good medicine, but you gotta be careful with it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 03 - 01:29 PM

LH:

A term from linguistics. Just as a phoneme is the smallest unit of distinguishable sound, a morpheme is the smallest unit of distinguishable sound with meaning. In English, for example, "t'e" is a sound one can make (the sound of the letter t by itself) by has no meaning. "tu-" has meaning, just by adding the stretch into "oo" at the end. SIngle vowels with meaning, such as "I" and "a" are the smallest morphemes. Words are made up of morphemes which are made up of phonemes.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Oct 03 - 11:57 AM

I am a bit under stress lately, because of mold and other matters.

But, Amos...."morphemes"??? Yikes! There's a fifty-dollar word if ever I've seen one. What does it mean?

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Oct 03 - 11:08 AM

Rapaire,

Librarians often fall into the belief that anything built out of the English alphabet is comprehensible if the morphemes and words are recognizable. It's an occupational hazard, like becoming hard-of-hearing for blasting operators.

I assure you, Little Hawk's assertions are non-sequitur, disjointed, and lacking in relevance or coherence. The relationship between paper bags and the heads of dogs and ballet, for example, which he pretends to thread together in a meaningful way. The only charitable thing to do is believe he is overworked.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Oct 03 - 09:02 AM

But, Amos, *I* understand what LH said! Hmmm...perhaps I should be worried. After all, I'd wait until the dog could not only pirouette, but assume a good first position and do a decent jette.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 10:25 PM

Little Hawk!! Wake up!! You're not making any sense!! Come to!! Snap out of it, man!!!

LOL!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 07:23 PM

I've actually driven through Kokomo. Trust me: it IS a traffic jam.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 07:14 PM

Oh, YEAH??? Well, if my dog had body language like yours I'd send him to ballet school for a year and make him walk around with a paper bag over his head until he could pirouette flawlessly! So there, eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 06:43 PM

Little Hawk:

Just because you're Canadian does not mean you speak English any better than Kim. It just shows you're stuck in the nineteenth century! There are plenty of precedents for her construction. And let me point out that if you WERE her, you'd wish you didn't have to sit in traffic jams no more.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 06:09 PM

ANY more, Kim, ANY more! It is the use of unnecessary negatives that has people like you mired in traffic jams from here to Kokomo.

It's okay in folksongs, though. :-)

One more thought: your tax dollars would probably only provide funding sufficient to teleport a paper clip across the average office space. I'd just forget about the whole idea if I were you.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 10 Oct 03 - 05:44 PM

I wish NASA would spend some of my tax dollars on teleportation research, so I wouldn't have to sit in traffic no more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 05:45 PM

Hot damn! NASA's gonna restructure the whole friggin' Universe! Sounds like a political thing to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 03:33 PM

Wha?


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Subject: RE: BS: Catching up with Freds
From: Amos
Date: 09 Oct 03 - 12:42 PM

The following sounds like it was invented by a Freds publicist who had gotten up on the worng sides of her/its beds, I suppose. But LO!! It comes from a web site owned and run by the Borg of all Hightech Companies, Lockheed Martin, whose very name is a mindmeld and against whom resistance is futile. Do a Google for "Gravity Probe B" if thou doubtest!

Enjoy:

"Gravity Probe B is the relativity gyroscope experiment being developed by NASA and Stanford University to test two extraordinary, unverified predictions of Albert Einstein's general theory of relativity.

The experiment will check, very precisely, tiny changes in the direction of spin of four gyroscopes contained in an Earth satellite orbiting at 400-mile altitude directly over the poles. So free are the gyroscopes from disturbance that they will provide an almost perfect space-time reference system. They will measure how space and time are warped by the presence of the Earth, and, more profoundly, how the Earth's rotation drags space-time around with it. These effects, though small for the Earth, have far-reaching implications for the nature of matter and the structure of the Universe. "





Well, there ya go..."far reaching implications" for the structure of the universe itself. If you're not hip to Dilbert-class jargon, it may escape you that this means "we will probably reorganize it soon!"

Just in case you thought all this science fiction eas fictional...

A


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