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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 02 Feb 14 - 11:59 PM
Rapparee 02 Feb 14 - 04:44 PM
gnu 02 Feb 14 - 04:34 PM
Ebbie 02 Feb 14 - 01:50 PM
gnu 02 Feb 14 - 01:37 PM
Acme 02 Feb 14 - 12:29 PM
Rapparee 02 Feb 14 - 10:53 AM
gnu 02 Feb 14 - 06:47 AM
Amos 02 Feb 14 - 12:29 AM
Rapparee 01 Feb 14 - 11:23 PM
Acme 01 Feb 14 - 09:37 PM
Ebbie 01 Feb 14 - 05:51 PM
gnu 01 Feb 14 - 05:45 PM
Rapparee 01 Feb 14 - 05:11 PM
gnu 01 Feb 14 - 06:37 AM
Pete Jennings 01 Feb 14 - 06:10 AM
Ebbie 01 Feb 14 - 02:21 AM
Rapparee 31 Jan 14 - 10:56 PM
gnu 31 Jan 14 - 06:29 PM
Amos 31 Jan 14 - 06:07 PM
gnu 31 Jan 14 - 05:14 PM
Rapparee 31 Jan 14 - 02:28 PM
gnu 31 Jan 14 - 02:27 PM
Amos 31 Jan 14 - 11:06 AM
Rapparee 31 Jan 14 - 09:41 AM
Acme 31 Jan 14 - 08:46 AM
Pete Jennings 31 Jan 14 - 06:03 AM
gnu 31 Jan 14 - 05:43 AM
Ebbie 31 Jan 14 - 02:52 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 14 - 11:09 PM
Rapparee 30 Jan 14 - 11:03 PM
Amos 30 Jan 14 - 10:08 PM
gnu 30 Jan 14 - 11:42 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 14 - 11:40 AM
Acme 30 Jan 14 - 11:18 AM
Amos 30 Jan 14 - 08:08 AM
gnu 30 Jan 14 - 06:27 AM
Rapparee 30 Jan 14 - 12:15 AM
Acme 30 Jan 14 - 12:03 AM
gnu 29 Jan 14 - 01:26 PM
Rapparee 29 Jan 14 - 11:01 AM
Rapparee 29 Jan 14 - 06:43 AM
gnu 29 Jan 14 - 05:26 AM
Amos 29 Jan 14 - 12:36 AM
Rapparee 28 Jan 14 - 10:30 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 14 - 09:08 PM
gnu 28 Jan 14 - 06:48 PM
Acme 28 Jan 14 - 04:11 PM
Rapparee 28 Jan 14 - 09:32 AM
gnu 28 Jan 14 - 05:59 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 11:59 PM

Don't be a naughty Eskimo
Save your money, don't go to the show


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 04:44 PM

I leave Tuesday from Chicago. Right now I'm in the SLC airport, waiting for the flight to Chicago. Two days in Winnipeg and then to Churchill and the auroras.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 04:34 PM

Watch out where the huskies go
And don't you eat that yellow snow

Frank


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 01:50 PM

Just in case Rap hasn't left yet: Happy Landings!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 01:37 PM

SRS... I believe the muktuk Rap refers to is fat and not dried or canned. I have never had whale fat but I have eaten caribou stew which was made with ONLY caribou fat after asking if there was ANYthing else to eat after being fed seal three meals a day for three days. If I ever am in another situation where these are the only things available to eat, I will lose weight until weak.

Rap... when do you leave for certain death?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 12:29 PM

They can muktuk, then it doesn't need to be frozen or shipped all that fast. My aunt from Calgary sent us a couple of cans one year as a joke - I don't remember if we opened them or not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 10:53 AM

Just like ice cream!!! Yummy!!! I only hope that my "hotness" doesn't melt any igloos or ice caps. I wouldn't want the tropicalization of the Great White North on my conscience, at least not until after I leave. The polar bears would be annoyed with me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 06:47 AM

Yer muktuk gonna be chewy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 14 - 12:29 AM

Away to the frozen North he now must go
Turning his back on civilizing fare
Into the tundra,, ice and bitter wind
Home of the wolf and moose and polar bear?

What is it burns within to turn him so?
What all-commanding trumpet has he heard?
It is not something folks at home would know--
The powerful Call of the Moderately Disturbed.

Jacques Paris
Song of the North
Parallel Publications
Nome, 1917


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 11:23 PM

Only 99 to go now, Stilly.

Yes, I likely will be in the Great White North. That is not to say that I will be without an Internet connection -- I understand that they have a server there that operates on steam produced by burning seal fat. Once it gets a good head of steam up, away she goes at as much as 16 kbps! If they run out of seal oil all is not lost, as there is a large backup mainspring which can be wound up. If THAT fails, the last resort is to use the hot air produced in the local bars and restaurants -- a resource which is both renewable and sustainable.

And tomorrow I shall leave for the Great Land. If anyone would like I'll ship them some muktuk -- but I can't afford refrigeration or overnight delivery or any of that fancy stuff, so you'll get it when it's delivered.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 09:37 PM

When mine want in they send Poppy, the catahoula/blue heeler mix to tell me so. That pooch is an operatic soprano.

Looks like I'd better watch the p's and q's of poetry and have some billet-doux ready to post in honor of Katlaughing soon. The big number is creeping up. I wonder if Rap will be able to participate in that race, being in the frozen north and all. I can just imagine him pestering the ship captain to free up a little bandwidth to check the longest thread in creation in order to post a little BS.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 05:51 PM

I've known a couple of dogs who kind of say: Mike! Mike! Mike!

But Rap really does not often listen well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 05:45 PM

Mark, mark, mark! What's yer pointer?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 05:11 PM

Kinda like some of the people who post "wisdom" on MC.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 06:37 AM

The neighbour's hair-lipped dog woke me again this morn. The old guy is near deaf and rather forgetful so, when the dog wants to be let back in the house after his morning constitution, he marks incessantly.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 06:10 AM

There's beer in our downstairs fridge, but in the upstairs fridge is Timmy the tortoise. 5 degrees C. He doesn't drink beer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 01 Feb 14 - 02:21 AM

"...misery and obscurity as a failed poet..."

That lacks something. I think one should recite 'fail-Ed poet'. Would "miserable obscurity" or "obscure misery" scan better?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 10:56 PM

The fridge downstairs isn't plugged in, but there IS beer in the fridge upstairs. I'd be happy to loan you one, but you have to return it to Amos after you're done with it (it would be my good deed for the year).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 06:29 PM

A... as an artiste, I feel it's the emotion I generate within my being that guides me... that which of my very essence I emote and thereby empower myself. If you don't get a woof, I have failed. I am doomed. I shall live in misery and obscurity as a failed poet until I die alone and without soul and fullfilment.

I wonder if there is any beer in the fridge downstairs.

GO BRONCOS!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 06:07 PM

Excellent scansion, but the rhyme scheme and the imagery are wanting.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 05:14 PM

Ode to a Dawg

WOOF!




I mean, dawgs don't read poetry, do they? So a short poem is best, no? Ya gotta read that to a dawg with enthusiasm and emote the spirit of the poem with a smile and a scratch. They'll get it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 02:28 PM

Jury duty while on Demerol. An intriguing idea, but I am not sure that its time has come.

To bark in the park in a parka and then go for a ride in a baidarka 'til dark. As much fun for a dog as the community log or playing "find me" in a dense, dense fog!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 02:27 PM

Love the tune, A. If you can get a vid of Dawg singin it, you'll make a fortune.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 11:06 AM

The insanity of the last few days has subsided somewhat--the Demerol is out of my system, the jury duty is past, the polyps have been snipped, and so on. Tonight the Local Authors Celebration at the new Central San Diego Library is on, to which I have been invited. Yee and haw, et cetera.

Cascade has gotten some really loverly reviews but for all that it is not making any waves. Fortunately I didn't write it for the money. Self-promotion has never been a strong suit of mine (unlike some sons of Mom I could mention).

I am off to the Park to delight the Wonder Dog. We clamber into the car, she and I, and drive around the corner to a large greensward where we chase balls.

We sing as we go:

To the park, to the park, to the park park park!
We can run, we can play from dawn to dark!
We can jump, we can run, we can bark. bark bark
At the Paaaark! At the Park!


This song is sung to the tune of the William Tell Overture, because we can.

A.
First Vowel


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 09:41 AM

"Voir dire" is when the lawyers look you over, the judge looks you over, and you try to get out of serving on the jury. It means "To see, to talk" and theoretically permits the selection of a fair and unprejudiced jury.

"Your honor, we the Jury find the accused Not Guilty!"
"Well, you'd better go back and rethink that, because we hanged him two hours ago."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 08:46 AM

Rap, I take that back. I do know someone who is in need of a good solid computer. He's using an ancient thing that is limping along with duck tape and static cling keeping it together. Is there anything else on it in addition to the OS? Is it just the box, is there a keyboard, mouse, etc?

I did get to the voir dire stage a couple of years back, but the defense attorneys were idiots. There was even one outburst - by one of those attorneys. I wouldn't characterize it as a Perry Mason moment, because Perry never made outbursts.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 06:03 AM

Am I right in that a voir dire seems to be a sounding out of your opinion of the crime under investigation? E.g., Amos doesn't like DUI so has a prior opinion before the evidence is heard and therefore is not eligible to sit on the jury.

BTW, where's Bobert? Has he eloped with LH?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 05:43 AM

Ebbie... every five years is considered the minimum here but you should talk with your GP first. There is a risk involved so there are a few factors to consider.

My old man was foreman of the jury (sequestered over two weeks) on a trial of two men charged with murdering (executing) two police officers in gruesome fashion after a botched kidnapping ransom drop/stakeout. http://www.cancrime.com/2009/05/23/the-double-cop-killing-that-shocked-the-nation/


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 31 Jan 14 - 02:52 AM

I always wanted to serve on a jury- just one where the stakes were not too high.

Several times when I got called I had just moved out of the county. And a number of times I did appear but the case always got dropped or plea bargained so I was always free to go home.

Last time I opted for the 'do not call'- I had turned 75; I figure that my age - and GREAT wisdom, of course - would affect any opinion of mine.

Speaking of colonoscopies, how often should one have it done? I had one done some years ago. No polyps, the explorer said. That was 10 or 15 years ago, I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 11:09 PM

I was excused, the last potential juror to be excused, in a child sexual abuse case. They didn't need me; the guy was convicted without my input. I'm somewhat against child sexual abusers. I was waiting to be called to a voire dire this past year but wasn't; when I'm next eligible for jury duty I'll be too old to serve here in Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 11:03 PM

Amos, if you are selected to sit on the jury, when you are sent into the jury room, hold out for the death penalty. It doesn't matter what the case is. Application of the death penalty would do away with all those frivolous lawsuits and criminal cases.

If you want to get out of jury duty tell the person questioning you that since only God can judge the Truth, the plaintiff and the defendant should be willing to battle to the death to prove who is Right. Obviously God will not permit Wrong to prevail!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 10:08 PM

Our household also has too many of the damn things--seven for a family of two plus the dog who does not compute.

I got excused from the jury on account of I do not feel neutral about DUIs.

Just as well. I would have hung 'im.

The voir-dire was an interesting, methodical process guided by an intelligent, careful, thoughtful lady judge who was sharp as a tack.

I was glad to see the mills of Justice in action, grinding exceeding slow but presumably sufficiently fine.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 11:42 AM

A... OJ again?

There are six PCs in my household of three... Me, Moi and Jimmy Suis. One of them is a bedside table.

The weather network has a banner up : "Votes are in: 75 percent of Canadians are sick of winter"

Sooo I'd say 5% are young cold weather enthusiasts, 5% are Snowbirds, 5% are inside watching birdfeeders in their yards and 10% are frozen solid.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 11:40 AM

Five? We have eight if you count the iPods and the android. Nine with the GPS. Ten if you count the one I haven't yet unpacked.

gnu, the gnu computer is a Dell Optiplex, Win7 Home Premium, 4 GB RAM which I might up to 8 (I even have my old anti-static bracelet around somewhere), 500 GB HDD, and I'll put in a wireless USB or card. I'll probably be getting a new monitor after I open it up. All in black, of course, to go with my spiffy new HP printer, which replaced the HP 4L that finally died after -- get this! -- twenty-four (24) years of service.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 11:18 AM

When I removed the plugs for those two hubs I was able to plug in everything critical to the surge protector. And in the evening I turn off the surge protector, thus turning off all of the externals, the printer, the scanner, and the computer. This is my way to be sure that no malware turns on the computer in the middle of the night and does stuff.

If you don't find takers for the computer you might get a tax write-off for the donation. I don't know of anyone here right now in need of a computer - there is a surplus at my house. Five in a household of one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 08:08 AM

Off to jury duty! Hasta la vistam yer Honor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 06:27 AM

SRS... I did a "rewire" a while back when I installed a surge protector to save harmless my new laptop. Nasty business with a bad back but it felt good to tame the octopussies.

Rap... tell us of the new toy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 12:15 AM

If I didn't feel so lousy (I have a cough and cold and I'm on prednisone and Avalox) I'd unpack my new computer and start fooling with it.

Anyone need a small form factor Compaq with Win7 on it? 2GB RAM, 250GB HDD, and a monitor can go with it (LCD). You pay for shipping.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Jan 14 - 12:03 AM

Tonight I unplugged all of the cable spaghetti behind my computer and plugged much of it into a new 24-port USB hub. I had two seven-port hubs and every so often would disturb one and it would fall off the back or things would come unplugged. I've propped this new one so it is stable and unwoven the cables. I may place a little double-stick tape under it to be sure it stays put. And now all of those external hard drives need to be examined. Maybe data moved, large drives put in the enclosures. I'm going to start using camera raw with my new camera, and that eats up space like nothing else.

Of course, now I have those 7 port hubs to redistribute around the house. Or somewhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 14 - 01:26 PM

Blender? Nay nay! Unless ye makin tea er brownies er carrot cake but if yer firin up a draw, be it on paper er screen, ya wants ta take the time ta sort stems n seeds. Besides, anyone who would destroy the seed of any plant is a person devoid of respect for Mom Nature. Well, that's what I have heard.

Or go with Acapulco Gold. Heard that from Cheech and Tommy.

A LARGE grow-op is about to be constructed in Moncton. I dunno what kinda cut Harper will get from it but I'll bet it will be a scad. He passed a law last year that increased the $ for medical ganja from practically nuthin to $28k a year for sick people. I'd like to make a joke about it but I can't. Instead, I'll just say our PM is an ignorant, greedy and SADISTIC FUCK.

Hmmm... maybe I can apply for a grow-op license? That way, if I ever need it, I can sell it to myself for profit AND claim it as a medical expense on my income tax. Win-win!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 14 - 11:01 AM

And don't smoke anything with seeds in it, either. I've heard that they can explode and really provide a surprise, but I wouldn't know about any of that, although I've heard that running the herb through a blender first will minimize the seed problem, assuming you don't want to pick them out by hand or roll up a surprise for someone.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jan 14 - 06:43 AM

I am glad my nasal polyp wasn't discovered and removed by this route.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Jan 14 - 05:26 AM

Don't eat anything with seeds in it for a few days, A.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jan 14 - 12:36 AM

I guess it was worth it; the Doc said he removed a number of small polyps. I got to sleep all afternoon, under the heavy hand of Demerol. But at least now I can eat with a clear conscience.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 14 - 10:30 PM

Remember, tomorrow is Hubert K. Poot's birthday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 14 - 09:08 PM

Oh darn it all I'm missing the state of the union address shucks I so wanted to see it and now I'm missing it oh well better luck next year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 14 - 06:48 PM

Pace The Torture.

I feel a song comin on.

As I age am I a Sage?
What mattters if I am not?
Against whom could I rail?
I just pray the doc who
Does my colonoscopy
Don't find the Holy Grail.

Surgeons make the big bucks
When they find th

Oh, who am I kidding? After my day, I am useless. I am absolutely fried. I think I'll check out some therads and FB and slink off to bed early and HOPE I can sleep.... fat chance!

Maybe this as an offering for my failings?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_43f9RzAqMM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Jan 14 - 04:11 PM

Aw, geez. We're all getting old, I guess. Mine is also due this winter, and they've now called twice to try to pin me down to a date. The letter is on my fridge, I told them I'd schedule this after the mammogram and the bone scan. I'll pace the torture.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jan 14 - 09:32 AM

I was supposed to have one a year ago but they called and said I could wait another five years. This was not disappointing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Jan 14 - 05:59 AM

A... can't wait to see the video. Seems to me I am due. Had one at 50 (51?) and two polyps were removed and declared friendly. Two years later, my chute was deemed to be top notch and I was allowed into the five year club. I shall be 57 soon.


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