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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Guest from Sanity 21 Sep 11 - 12:48 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 20 Sep 11 - 11:04 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 20 Sep 11 - 10:57 PM
Acme 20 Sep 11 - 10:44 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 11 - 10:43 PM
Amos 20 Sep 11 - 09:55 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 11 - 09:08 PM
Acme 20 Sep 11 - 07:58 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 20 Sep 11 - 06:25 PM
gnu 20 Sep 11 - 05:01 PM
Amos 20 Sep 11 - 03:00 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 11 - 02:55 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 20 Sep 11 - 12:39 PM
Rapparee 20 Sep 11 - 10:26 AM
Amos 20 Sep 11 - 09:27 AM
Rapparee 20 Sep 11 - 12:01 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 19 Sep 11 - 11:33 PM
Little Hawk 19 Sep 11 - 11:32 PM
Rapparee 19 Sep 11 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 19 Sep 11 - 09:28 PM
Acme 19 Sep 11 - 06:08 PM
Little Hawk 19 Sep 11 - 05:59 PM
gnu 19 Sep 11 - 05:13 PM
Amos 19 Sep 11 - 03:10 PM
gnu 19 Sep 11 - 01:51 PM
Rapparee 19 Sep 11 - 09:38 AM
Acme 19 Sep 11 - 12:37 AM
Little Hawk 18 Sep 11 - 08:11 PM
Rapparee 18 Sep 11 - 07:15 PM
gnu 18 Sep 11 - 07:10 PM
Rapparee 18 Sep 11 - 03:54 PM
Amos 18 Sep 11 - 10:41 AM
Acme 18 Sep 11 - 10:14 AM
Rapparee 17 Sep 11 - 11:59 PM
Amos 17 Sep 11 - 11:06 PM
Acme 17 Sep 11 - 10:32 PM
Amos 17 Sep 11 - 11:16 AM
Rapparee 17 Sep 11 - 10:25 AM
Acme 17 Sep 11 - 09:34 AM
Amos 17 Sep 11 - 12:14 AM
Acme 16 Sep 11 - 11:59 PM
Rapparee 16 Sep 11 - 10:16 PM
Rapparee 16 Sep 11 - 09:01 PM
Amos 16 Sep 11 - 08:40 PM
Amos 16 Sep 11 - 01:54 PM
Amos 16 Sep 11 - 10:26 AM
Acme 16 Sep 11 - 10:09 AM
Rapparee 16 Sep 11 - 10:07 AM
Acme 15 Sep 11 - 11:17 PM
Little Hawk 15 Sep 11 - 11:11 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 21 Sep 11 - 12:48 AM

L.H...check your mail.

GfS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 11:04 PM

By the way, Rap, I think yer choice of firearms is right on the money, specially in the case of the 12 gauge pump gun with 0000 buckshot. Good stuff fer short range cleanup. However, I have an established fondness and affection for the tommy gun that goes way, way back. It reminds me of my youth.

The best thing is to have all 3 guns handy, I figure, plus a couple of good handguns, and use whichever is best suited to the moment.

Then too, it don't necessarily hurt to carry a coupla grenades. Just in case.

And maybe a bazooka.

And some brass knuckles. And a sap.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 10:57 PM

You got it, Rap. Them first 2 quotations are exactly what I was speakin' of. So give it some thought. "The Amos" is sayin' that I am imaginary, therefore of little account in his imaginary order of importance. I am sayin' that he is imaginary too, and of equally little account in someone else's order of importance, and that he has in fact made himself up outta his own imagination. He is a dramatic character that HE made up! One day I will be proven right on this, cos "the Amos" will vanish from these Earthly haunts, and it will be as if he had never been, and others will take up the conceit of imaginin' that they are realer than Chongo Chimp...or somebody else.

Who ended up realer? Sir Arthur Conan Doyle or Sherlock Holmes? Whose name is better known now? Who will last longer in people's minds? Are either of them real or are they BOTH phantasms, one invented by the other? And who is to say where either of them lies in some eternal order of importance? I am still waitin' for someone genuinely important to enter the room....and it ain't happened yet! ;-D

- Chongo

p.s. I thought it had a coupla times....but I was misled in my judgement by certain basic lustful impulses connnected to looooong legs and other such aspects. It's an occupational hazard in my line of work. And it makes for real good drama.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 10:44 PM

In with all of the monkey business, I hope you noticed the great news about The Cocktail Waitress! Another noir novel/film!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 10:43 PM

Amos, which model of the Thompson submachine gun are referring to? The top bolt model or the side bolt model? I personally don't care much for either one (or the Reising Gun or the "grease gun") because they all fire from an open bolt, using straight blow-back. This allows too much chance for dirt and grit to get into the mechanism. Instead, I'd prefer a simple M-24 "sniper rifle" (for long distance work) or a 12 gauge pump shotgun with 0000 buckshot for close work (more led in the air than with 00 buckshot).

But, as they used to say back in Deutschland, "a chacun a son gout."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 09:55 PM

NEver swap cites with the Manne of Booques, Chongo. It's a fool's errand. Like discussing Tommy Gun Etiquette with a North Side gorilla, or explaining familial desertion to your grownup little sister.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 09:08 PM

Golly gosh darn, Chongo. You referin' to Billy Bob's play The Tempest?

...be cheerful, sir:        
Our revels now are ended. These our actors,        
As I foretold you, were all spirits and        
Are melted into air, into thin air:        
And, like the baseless fabric of this vision,        
The cloud-capp'd towers, the gorgeous palaces,        
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,        
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve        
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,        
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff        
As dreams are made on, and our little life        
Is rounded with a sleep.


Or do you mean

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,        
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day        
To the last syllable of recorded time;        
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools              
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!        
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player        
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage        
And then is heard no more. It is a tale              
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,        
Signifying nothing.


Or, perhaps,

I gin to be aweary of the sun,        
And wish the estate o' the world were now undone.        
Ring the alarum-bell! Blow, wind! come, wrack!              
At least we'll die with harness on our back.


But, of course, I couldn't expect a dumb old monkey to cite his so-called sources.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 07:58 PM

Speaking of fevered imaginations, did you hear that a new James M. Cain novel has surfaced? Finished and unpublished but misplaced at the time of his death, it has surfaced. Story here. Now, the same guy who wrote Double Indemnity and Mildred Pierce and The Postman Always Rings Twice has another novel for those who enjoy a fervid imagination to enjoy. And most certainly to film.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 06:25 PM

You saps are nothin' more than figments of yer own fevered imagination and you just haven't figgered it out yet, that's all. Yer all walkin' around in a continual state of self-created fantasy, bein' the big star of yer own concocted drama of life, "the boss" or "the brain" or "the victim" or the "hard done by" and not one of you is wise enough to get the fact that that is all it is...and it's gonna end in awhile. Shakespeare summed it up real good one time. I think you know the passage I am alludin' to, so I won't bother quotin' it for you.

As fer me, I know that's all it is. A self-made drama. It's as insubstantial and temporary as the smoke ring I just blew at the screen here. The main thing is...are you enjoyin' the drama? And are others around you enjoyin' the part you play in it? Or are you causin' them pain and sorrow? I am definitely enjoyin' my part to the max, and I try to do some good as best I can while I play it out.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 05:01 PM

Would that include, say, Stephen King, or is that considered entertainment?

Personally, I find his imagination threatening by way of the fact that so many people find his works entertaining. Albeit fantasy, ya gotta figger there are some nutjobs out there that get off on this shit and then act it out.

I could be dead wrong (yes, intended) as I have read or seen few of his works. Just don't appeal to me. I am fond of humour or documentaries or biographies or... Blood and guts horror doesn't float my boat. Unless... maybe Rap and LH meet (in their minds, of course) and each die in a blaze of sword fighting and gun play.

More importantly, I have managed to defrost Mum's fridge in her basement.... 60 years old and works better than my piece of crap which started messing up at 8 months old. Thank... ah, er... fuck you Frigidaire!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 03:00 PM

Being threatened by someone's imagination is not very frightening for some reason. Maybe we've forgotten how to be terrorized by unreality?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 02:55 PM

Wadda ya gonna do, send a lemur after me? HAWHAWHAW! Go back inta yer cage an' eat some more bananas!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 12:39 PM

So, you feel it's okay to just go around insultin' monkeys and apes and makin' specist comments, do ya? Ya figger there's no consequences and no payback, huh? Just wait and see, loose lips, just wait and see. 2012 ain't that far off now.

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 10:26 AM

Yeah. That and some ugly, disgusting, nasty stuff I won't bother to repeat here. Monkeys are so far below humans in intelligence that we have to forgive their lack of propriety, I suppose.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 09:27 AM

Ill mannered is Chongo's middle name, ya know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Sep 11 - 12:01 AM

Yeah, Chongo. Taking it without so much as a "May I?" Sort of thing you expect from a monkey, ain't it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 11:33 PM

That's right. Ook! Ook! ;-D

42100

- Chongo


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 11:32 PM

And because it's been reserved for Chongo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 09:39 PM

I could just keep posting and nab 42100. But I shan't, because Mom raised me up better'n that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 09:28 PM

Sorry, Prince Rupert.

gnu will do
What he has to
Come rain, sleet or snoo
gnu will do.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 06:08 PM

I have several unanswered puzzle lists of names linked to events in my head that come under the heading of What WERE they thinking? - sounds like you have a list like that also, gnu.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 05:59 PM

Absolutely.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 05:13 PM

Nope. Better to be a duck. And (a) duck next time. Less stress is more better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 03:10 PM

Perhaps you could ask her why?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 01:51 PM

Sorry about that outburst. It's just that it is SOOO out of character for her to do something like she did. It's happened twice before as soon as she found out I was trying to quit... but not something so "weird".

Thanks for the kind words.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 09:38 AM

gnu, this isn't as hard as working out the math for a dam using a slipstick, pencil, and paper. You CAN do it. In fact, you WILL do it. You WILL do it, or I'll come up there and kick your nether regions all the way to Port Rupert.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Sep 11 - 12:37 AM

Thank you for the odes to my greenhouse. Though plexiglass and concrete would be good solid ingredients, this one is 100% recycled UV rated plastic. Don't know if the plastic was recycled when the house was put up a few years ago, but now that I've deconstructed, moved, and reconstructed, I'd say this sucker is 100% recycled!

Gnu, one day at a time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Sep 11 - 08:11 PM

Buy yourself a boxing dummy, put on the gloves, and beat the hell out of it every night. You'll feel much better.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 11 - 07:15 PM

Okay, I'll try to help.

1. I'm going to mail the money tomorrow.

2. You're a fat slob who will just put that weight back on while you stink of cigar smoke and alcohol.

There. Does that make you feel better?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Sep 11 - 07:10 PM

Quittin smokin is rough... I am sooooo pissed off... just wanna kill somethin. And I haven't even quit yet. I just did the final prep today for tomorrow which is my quit date as I weighed in just under 180# today (that's just over 100 #s of weight loss over two years) and a close relative knew about it and she did something to piss me off when she found out, for NO reason that I can imagine. Why do they do that? Seriously, I am fucking pissed off that she would... breathe in thru the nose and out thru the mouth... ommmmm.... ommmmMYGODIAMPISSED!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Sep 11 - 03:54 PM

When Stilly was a young woman
And her kids had gone off from her side
She found a spot, a jolly little spot
Over on the old North Side
It sloped down toward the Stilly, from River Avenue
Stilly said that it would give her
Such a lovely view
So she took a look in the Greenhouse Book
To see what she could find
And she found a house, a jolly greenhouse,
With a locking door in front
And a solid wall behind.

Now, Stilly was a handy woman
Who never wasted any time
She found she knew just what to do
With concrete, plexiglass, and time.
She said, "I'll build some big shelves in there, where petunias can perch.
"And I'll sit there myself on Sunday mornings
"When everybody else has gone to church."
The neighbors said, "She's crazy in the head
"She's surely lost her mind."
But she built that house, that jolly greenhouse,
With a locking door in front
And a solid wall behind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Sep 11 - 10:41 AM

Here's a toast to Stilly's greenhouse!
Such a fine house! Not a mean house!
It provides her with fine greenery
WIth which she doth improve the scenery!

D. Seuusse
Stilly's Green House
"Nonsense for our Mother", Berkeley Addled Press, 1968


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Sep 11 - 10:14 AM

Have some tea, MOM. And stick around, later on I'm going to make some banana bread and a batch of bread pudding. Thanks to various folks who helped me put my greenhouse up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 11:59 PM

I remember being conscious once....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 11:06 PM

Hurray for MOM'S CONSCIOUSNESS!! Where would we be without it?

Or, it without us?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 10:32 PM

MOM! MOM! Wake up! You've nearly slipped into a coma below the line.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 11:16 AM

YEs, ma'a'm, I have to in order to get back to work at a reasonable date. I might well drive through next year, though depending on the intervening events.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 10:25 AM

Yes, I'd like that.

And Stilly, I've had dates lots of times. They're quite tasty in date-nut bread, for instance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 09:34 AM

I suppose you're flying, Amos? No chance of passing through Fort Worth on a drive east?

Hey, it RAINED here last night! 1-2 inches.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Sep 11 - 12:14 AM

Jolly good. I will be pulling out Monday morning and if need be I can make it as early as necessary. I suppose you want to be there by 8:30? My early-rise penalty fee will be included in your tab. No worries!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Sep 11 - 11:59 PM

Oh, dear. They have a date. Now what is the world coming to?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 11 - 10:16 PM

Quality Inn Suites
815 Elkridge Landing Rd
Linthicum Hgts, MD

Directions to Our Hotel:

I-95 to I-195E take Exit 1A, go two traffic lights and turn left at Terminal Rd. At the next light, make a left at Elkridge Landing Rd. Travel approximately 3/4 of a mile and at the first light take a right onto West Nursery Road. Hotel is the first building on the left.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 11 - 09:01 PM

I have a flight at 10:15 am on Monday, Oct. 3. When do you plan to leave St. David's?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Sep 11 - 08:40 PM

I love Maria Muldaur singing "I'm a Woooooman!".

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Sep 11 - 01:54 PM

And once again, dear Rapparree, how do you expect me to find you on Getaway Friday?

You need to put in some of the ffort here, pal!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Sep 11 - 10:26 AM

In respect to Gov Rick, the verb is petée!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 16 Sep 11 - 10:09 AM

Perried? Perrier? Petouui!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Sep 11 - 10:07 AM

Of course you were bushed! But now you're Pettied, or whatever his name is. You're in Texas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Sep 11 - 11:17 PM

Bushed after working on the plastic greenhouse. After a lot of lifting and pushing we managed to get the roof sections into place. Soon I'll have a delightful little greenhouse that can double as a dog house if any of you need to find a refuge when MOM locks the door and won't let you in if you come in stinking too late for her to be bothered to come down to let you in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Sep 11 - 11:11 PM

The Neverheardofit Motel? Cool. I think Chongo stayed at that place a couple of times when he was on the road. They've got them all across the eastern USA, don't they?


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