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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

MMario 05 Nov 09 - 02:40 PM
Little Hawk 05 Nov 09 - 02:14 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 09 - 02:14 PM
MMario 05 Nov 09 - 01:43 PM
Rapparee 05 Nov 09 - 01:00 PM
Ed T 05 Nov 09 - 09:42 AM
Rapparee 05 Nov 09 - 09:20 AM
Ed T 05 Nov 09 - 06:48 AM
Ed T 05 Nov 09 - 06:44 AM
Ed T 05 Nov 09 - 05:21 AM
Amos 04 Nov 09 - 11:04 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 09 - 10:36 PM
Acme 04 Nov 09 - 10:15 PM
Amos 04 Nov 09 - 09:37 PM
Ed T 04 Nov 09 - 07:23 PM
Ed T 04 Nov 09 - 07:06 PM
Amos 04 Nov 09 - 06:26 PM
Ed T 04 Nov 09 - 06:10 PM
Ed T 04 Nov 09 - 05:57 PM
Ed T 04 Nov 09 - 05:46 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 09 - 05:01 PM
Amos 04 Nov 09 - 04:35 PM
VirginiaTam 04 Nov 09 - 04:29 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 09 - 04:23 PM
Amos 04 Nov 09 - 04:20 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 09 - 04:13 PM
Acme 04 Nov 09 - 04:09 PM
Amos 04 Nov 09 - 03:40 PM
Rapparee 04 Nov 09 - 01:07 PM
MMario 04 Nov 09 - 12:55 PM
Amos 04 Nov 09 - 12:29 PM
MMario 04 Nov 09 - 12:27 PM
Amos 04 Nov 09 - 12:24 PM
Ed T 04 Nov 09 - 11:42 AM
Amos 04 Nov 09 - 10:29 AM
Ed T 04 Nov 09 - 09:36 AM
Amos 04 Nov 09 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 04 Nov 09 - 08:54 AM
Rapparee 04 Nov 09 - 08:51 AM
Ed T 03 Nov 09 - 09:47 PM
Ed T 03 Nov 09 - 09:24 PM
Ed T 03 Nov 09 - 09:22 PM
Amos 03 Nov 09 - 08:33 PM
Ed T 03 Nov 09 - 07:44 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 09 - 07:38 PM
Ed T 03 Nov 09 - 07:20 PM
Ed T 03 Nov 09 - 07:00 PM
Rapparee 03 Nov 09 - 06:03 PM
Ed T 03 Nov 09 - 04:27 PM
Ed T 03 Nov 09 - 03:58 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 02:40 PM

Wha? What's that you say? Speak up boy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 02:14 PM

Please stop! I'm afraid that Olive Whatnoll might join in.

"Roight! You fink YOU 'ad it tough when you was li'le sods what was growin' up! Well, let me just sigh a few words 'ere....."

Bla. Bla. Bla. And bloody then some more bla. Foghorn Leghorn was just a teaser at this game.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 02:14 PM

Oh, we weren't related to our mother or to each other.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 01:43 PM

Must of been nice, growing up in those high-class neighborhoods. I mean, having jobs and families and . . . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 01:00 PM

Ha! MY family lived next to a tumbled-down wall, which we had our backs to until we had to sell it to for a tiny speck of fatty gristle so my poor sick mother could have a sup of nourishment -- the rest of us went without, of course, but we were nourished and warmed by the love in our hearts for each other and for our mother and for the whole world. As for work, WE began working upon conception, trudging to work every day through a field of old land mines and boulders, up a 270 degree slope, in boiling acid up to our eyebrows, and when we got there we worked as razor wire testers for 27 hours each day with no break for meals or bathroom for a ha-penny a month.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 09:42 AM

Luxury, you had it good as a youth.

Our family lived under the community ramp...had to listen to the noise of all the cars bouncing off the ramp, 24 hours a day. We had to go to work with no sleep, and did it three hours before we got out of bed. We got whipped 'to death" at work each day...yes we did. And people today say they have it tough.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 09:20 AM

I didn't. All of the girls I ever dated wore frilly dresses and lived next door. There were a lot of people who lived right next door, since out lot was a a polygon with so many sides that most people thought it was a circle. And every lot around us was someone's home -- to get to and from our house we had to do one of those things where a car starts driving real fast and uses a ramp to jump over something. Of course, when we walked we just bounced off an angled trampoline. Trick or treating was a snap, however.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 06:48 AM

Seems to me that every man knew ( or feared that he knew too well)
a girl like the one John Prine sings of in this song. I suspect the fear lessens as one gets older.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 06:44 AM

Memorable popcorn-related song lyrics

"Well we'd go out on Saturday evenings
To the drive-in on Route 41
And it was there that I first suspected
That she was doin' what she'd already done

She said "Johnny won't you get me some popcorn"
And she knew I had to walk pretty far
And as soon as I passed through the moonlight
She hopped into a foreign sports car"

"Great Compromise" John Prine


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 05 Nov 09 - 05:21 AM

What a good concept for a TV reality program....Army librarians in fields of conflict. Grenades and books.


"The largest volunteer army in history was the Indian army in WW2 - 2.5million"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 11:04 PM

Wow--you sure clean up good.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 10:36 PM

So true! For example, here's a picture of me when I was in the Army (when I still smoked).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 10:15 PM

So many librarians, so few stereotypes for them to fit into.

[sigh]


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 09:37 PM

THe apple does not fall far from the book about apples. (Old librarian proverb)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 07:23 PM

They who are born of chickens scratch the earth." (Corsican proverb)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 07:06 PM

The old image of a librarian is a stuffy repressed person, a control freak who cares about books more than people. Most librarians I have met are passionate about helping people find information they need, and champion social justice and intellectual freedom. Does this describe anyone you know?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 06:26 PM

Well, you see, Ed, I never knew I was Nigerian until today when I read Rapaire's decree. I had no IDEA!!! I would be suspicious of the information, if it were not for the fact that it came from a librarian. I mean, if a Librarian tells you something, it's almost guaranteed, right? That's why I was so surprised, like. Thinking it over, the possibility occurs to me that he is not actually a librarian.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 06:10 PM

So Amos....do you wear this hat
http://www.zazzle.ca/nigerian_flag_of_nigeria_naija_embroidered_cap_embroidered_hat-233843095641745571




You never have less than 20 people to meet you at the airport or see you off even if it is a local flight. (Yeah, 1st person to fly in the family, that's why)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 05:57 PM

Any Italian speakers out there
'Lèvati dai coglioni


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 05:46 PM

Good balls on this one:
http://www.worldrecordsacademy.org/food/largest_Popcorn_Ball-world_record-set_by_the_Noble_Popcorn_Factory_90160.htm


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 05:01 PM

I also have various sizes of lead balls at home.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 04:35 PM

Inflated, already-popped, discolored and inclined to get stuck in your teeth is more in alignment with reality--and artificially flavored. Don't forget that.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 04:29 PM

well I was going to just peek in and say nothing in particular just to help MOAB on its way to 33K.

But now seeing this about Rap's ready pop balls.



Think I'll give it a miss. I had missed popcorn balls. But I won't anymore. Thanks for that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 04:23 PM

Yeah...I could say that they're large, sweet, and ready to pop, but I won't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 04:20 PM

Rapaire's balls are popcorn. Well, that really explains a lot...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 04:13 PM

We used to get homemade popcorn balls on Hallowe'en, but then The Paranoia set in and nobody wanted apples or popcorn balls or homemade candy any more.

Quelle dommage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 04:09 PM

Well, Shit

Pardon my French.

All of this popcorn chat is making me hungry. But yesterday I walked into my ex's house to pick up my son and he was eating a COMMERCIAL popcorn ball. Looked about as appealing as one of those Quaker hocky pucks they sell as diet food. Popcorn balls are supposed to be shiny with the sheen of butter, Karo syrup, and dissolved sugar, and so sticky they nearly pull your teeth out. This little dessicated thing was a sorry cousin three times removed to the good ones (that required the cook to insert her hands into a hot bowl and sometimes end up with second and third degree burns in the process). If you're going to eat food as bad for you as that, you might as well suffer when you're making it also.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 03:40 PM

I'm Nigerian? Why?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 01:07 PM

Why not? They've made Amos what he is today!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 12:55 PM

I'm a party poop?

For contributing to the flow of creative thought regarding stomachs full of popping corn and microwaves;

whearas you wander off into a the murky grounds of Hindu spandex - even if it does come in "new and variegated forms" - sheesh - I thought you were old enough not to believe everythignn the ads tell you about products; especially on the internet....

Just don't reccomend to MOM that she answer any of the Nigerian letters....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 12:29 PM

You analytical party-pooper, you!!!

Here's my latest infatuation, Mark Morford, SFO columnist:

"Let us hereby leave aside the ugly reality that, good intentions or no, we are essentially bombing the moon. Let us also ignore for a moment all the extant garbage we've already dumped into near space, the thousands of dead satellites, spent rockets, parts and bits and alien spacecraft, a veritable Pacific Garbage Patch of junk circling just out of our visual periphery. Ah, noble science, thou polluteth like a sonofabitch.

Let us, instead, speak of the force and flow of human consciousness, about our incessant need to move and learn and explore and even blow crap up to get there, wherever "there" might be.

Let us examine what the Hindu wise ones call spanda, that ever expanding/contracting meta-awareness of the universe, a flowing energy pulse that is always seeking to discover and rediscover itself in new and variegated forms (as my reliable Sanskrit informant Chris Wallis reminds me). It's just like God, minus the dogma and the guilt and the angry bearded grandparent, the coloring books and the repressed priests and the organized religion and the sinning. Otherwise, same."

Read more: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/g/a/2009/10/09/notes100909.DTL#ixzz0VueLBZSr


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 12:27 PM

I think you'd bake to death before the popcorn would pop; should you try the microwave tummyfull of popcorn trick. The internal temp would have to reach 212 plus; and your flesh would be between the source and the popcorn.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 12:24 PM

I think we should challenge Fran to to read the whole MOAB.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 11:42 AM

I would applaud your popping suggestion/effort...it may be a record, but this guydiverted my attention:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdCloiDdA14&NR=1


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 10:29 AM

Would the weiner dog fit into such a bag?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 09:36 AM

Do it in a greased paper bag, to avoid the teflon....just in case. Never hurts to exercise a little caution....when your multi-popp'in
http://www.personal.psu.edu/lfl5/blogs/penn_state_food_safety/2008/03/pfoa-teflon-in-popcorn-bags.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 09:15 AM

Try it with a weiner dog, to start with.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 08:54 AM

Which brings up a question:

Could someone swallow several bags of unpopped microwave popcorn, stick themselves either in a big microwave oven or in front of a microwave relay tower, and pop themselves to death? Would "movie style" or "buttery flavor" work better?

This is theoretical, because I'll let someone else try it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Nov 09 - 08:51 AM

Lordy, that Ed! That's one of the corniest things ever posted! MOM about split a gut laughing!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 09:47 PM

Chimps corner
Popcorn:
There are several commercial classifications of corn. Field corn (also called dent corn or cow corn) is fed to animals. Flour corn is mostly starchy center with a soft hull that allows it to be easily ground into flour. Sweet corn is the kind we eat at the dinner table. Flint corn is usually called Indian corn; its colorful kernels make it highly attractive, and it is used for decoration because it is tough and tasteless. Pod corn is also only used for decoration because each of its kernels has its own separate husk.

Popcorn, also a collection of varieties of Zea mays, is the only corn that pops; it is not dried kernels of sweet corn. There are several popular varieties of popcorn out of thousands of hybrids. White hull-less and yellow hull-less are the varieties sold most commonly and packaged in microwave bags. Rice popcorn is a variety with kernels that are pointed at both ends, and pearl popcorn produces round, compact kernels. Tiny red ears that are shaped like strawberries produce red kernels and are called strawberry popcorn. Black popcorn has black grains but pops as white kernels, and rainbow or calico corn has white, yellow, red, and blue kernels. Popcorn is also classified by the characteristics of its popped kernels, with the largest kernels called "Dynamite" and "Snow Puff."

From Answerbag (Anonymous)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 09:24 PM

Excuse mypoor French, Academe Francaise. In future, I will resist the temptation.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 09:22 PM

Certains parlent en trou de cul de poule


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 08:33 PM

Lors qu'on vas parler une langue telle etrange, peut-etre on decouvra meme plus de merde de vache la-dedans!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 07:44 PM

Sainte-bénite!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 07:38 PM

Shouldn't that be "code postalE"? We certainly don't want to irritate the Academe Francaise!

(Nor the Legion d'Honneur...my cousin-in-law is a Chevalier du cet Legion).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 07:20 PM

Ta mère est tellement grosse qu'elle a son propre code postal


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 07:00 PM

I am stupid. No. Un, deux, trois, quatre, five, sis, sept, huit, neuf, ten.

Why did she leave? Oh, but of course! Already I have achieved a post of honor, and have been left to defend the fort. Viva la Republique!

Zee cabbage does not run away from zee corn-beef.

I am ze captain, and you are ze first mate. Promotions will follow quickly!

there is very little difference between men and women. But, VIVE LE DIFFERENCE!

Au revoir, pidgeon. Sweeting is such part sorrow

Pepe Le Pew quotes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 06:03 PM

Wassamatter, Ed? Doncha parley voo the francaise?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 04:27 PM

We got a trimenjus pot of stew in th' co'ner, on th' stove an' ah can clean some extry bowels eff'n yer hankerin' t'stay. Sho'nuff hope ah didnt scare she away


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ed T
Date: 03 Nov 09 - 03:58 PM

Hello guest Collette?

You'z new around here, or just look'in fer directions to somewhere? Have relations nearby?

Us folk in here don't 'stand much French, being that we don't much take to the other posts...well maybe they dont much take to us. Kind'a put us over here to talk amung'st ourselves.

Your French talk sure smells purty, though. Like to stay fer awhile?


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