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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Janie 30 May 09 - 10:15 PM
Rapparee 30 May 09 - 10:12 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 May 09 - 06:56 PM
Little Hawk 30 May 09 - 06:14 PM
Acme 30 May 09 - 06:05 PM
Rapparee 30 May 09 - 02:59 PM
Little Hawk 30 May 09 - 12:57 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 30 May 09 - 11:47 AM
Amos 30 May 09 - 10:58 AM
Acme 30 May 09 - 01:01 AM
Little Hawk 29 May 09 - 11:17 PM
Janie 29 May 09 - 10:29 PM
Little Hawk 29 May 09 - 06:44 PM
Amos 29 May 09 - 06:36 PM
Rapparee 29 May 09 - 05:02 PM
Amos 29 May 09 - 04:41 PM
Rapparee 29 May 09 - 04:12 PM
Rapparee 29 May 09 - 02:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 May 09 - 02:34 PM
Rapparee 29 May 09 - 02:03 PM
MMario 29 May 09 - 01:51 PM
Rapparee 29 May 09 - 12:55 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 May 09 - 12:52 PM
Amos 29 May 09 - 11:31 AM
Amos 29 May 09 - 11:16 AM
Acme 29 May 09 - 10:10 AM
Rapparee 29 May 09 - 09:37 AM
Amos 29 May 09 - 09:22 AM
Rapparee 29 May 09 - 09:12 AM
Amos 29 May 09 - 04:10 AM
Janie 29 May 09 - 12:53 AM
Janie 28 May 09 - 11:37 PM
Acme 28 May 09 - 11:18 PM
Acme 28 May 09 - 11:11 PM
Amos 28 May 09 - 11:00 PM
Janie 28 May 09 - 10:49 PM
Rapparee 28 May 09 - 10:20 PM
Janie 28 May 09 - 10:17 PM
Little Hawk 28 May 09 - 10:13 PM
Amos 28 May 09 - 10:12 PM
Janie 28 May 09 - 07:25 PM
Amos 28 May 09 - 07:09 PM
Acme 28 May 09 - 04:57 PM
Rapparee 28 May 09 - 04:56 PM
Amos 28 May 09 - 04:51 PM
Little Hawk 28 May 09 - 04:05 PM
Rapparee 28 May 09 - 03:56 PM
Amos 28 May 09 - 03:20 PM
Rapparee 28 May 09 - 03:05 PM
Amos 28 May 09 - 02:26 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 30 May 09 - 10:15 PM

Or Limbaugh's face on Chongo's ass.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 09 - 10:12 PM

And vice-versa!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 May 09 - 06:56 PM

To hell with Mt. Rushmore! I'm waiting for them to tattoo Chongo's face on Rush Limbaugh's ass!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 May 09 - 06:14 PM

Don't forget, Rapaire...Reagan couldn't act as well as a chimp can. You've seen "Bedtime for Bonzo", haven't you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 May 09 - 06:05 PM

Or should it be "quay."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 May 09 - 02:59 PM

Some people wanted to put Reagan's there -- same thing, right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 May 09 - 12:57 PM

I'm waiting for the day they put Chongo's face on Mount Rushmore. I know everything will be okay after that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 May 09 - 11:47 AM

Sparkling Vista of Thirty Kay? I though Amos was an Apple kinda guy. Shouldn't that be the sparkling OSX of Thirty Kay?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 May 09 - 10:58 AM

BE brave, ladies!! There are trying times and obstacles about, but the future is glorious, bright, untrammeled!! Just think how you will feel the day Mom peeks over the highest rocky wall to the sparkling vista of Thirty Kay!! Wow, oh, wow, am I right?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 May 09 - 01:01 AM

My attorney starts the clock running the moment they answer the phone down at their office. And if you're given the run-around, you're paying for it. I figured out after a while that if I wrote out what I wanted to know in a letter then faxed it to her that she didn't charge me for that or, apparently, for the time to read the letter.

I'm bushed. A trip to Dallas this evening, maybe one tomorrow, and again on Sunday. I'm tired just thinking about it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 09 - 11:17 PM

That's a nice break for you, Janie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 29 May 09 - 10:29 PM

Obese people are human too. I know, because I are one.


Busy, busy day, MA. My excellent boss of 8 months handed in her resignation. That makes 6 program directors that have been chewed up and spit out in the last 18 months. As a colleague noted today, those of us who have managed to stick around in public mental health the past few years are quite a committed and resiliant bunch of clinicians. I immediately got on the phone and started recruiting administrators that I know are good. Have been asked to consider it myself, but I am not interested. I stepped up when asked 3 years ago, but I don't like being an administrator, even under good circumstances. I hated it under bad circumstances and retreated as quickly as the opportunity presented itself. Circumstances are still bad. I like being able to put my fingers in my ears, sing lalalala, ignore the politics, and use my time wisely and well in therapy sessions.

Got a present from my attorney today when I opened the bill for the arbitration work. She knocked $70 off her hourly rate, and also did not charge me for 2 hours of the research she did or had done by her paralegal to prepare.

I wasn't expecting that. And I really appreciate it. All told, it is about a 65% reduction in what it otherwise would have cost me. She was sick with pneumonia on the day of the hearing and a little loopy from the codeine to suppress the cough.

She done good anyways.

Maybe she was still a little loopy when she made up the bill to send to the bookkeeping department.

Be that as it may, I appreciate it. The budget will still be more than a little lean after I pay her this weekend, but I won't have to use the home equity line of credit to do it, which is what I thought would be necessary.

Not a particulately appropriate post, but even less appropriate elsewhere.

And what is family for, after all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 May 09 - 06:44 PM

Grandma is clearly at a higher state of awareness than most people. She'd make a good Taoist or student of Zen. She is verging upon true wisdom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 09 - 06:36 PM

Ah, the real reality thing kinda runs in the family...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 09 - 05:02 PM

A guy sent me one of those smarmy emails and I couldn't resist:

Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She
didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.

When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and
the longer I sat I wondered if she was OK

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on
her at the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head
and looked at me and smiled. "Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking,"
she said in a clear voice strong.

"I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting
here staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK," I
explained to her.

"Have you ever looked at your hands," she asked. "I mean really
looked at your hands? I mean, like, really, really, you know, like LOOKED at your hands? They're like, really really cool, you know?"

Gently I looked at grandma and said, "You been smokin' that weed again, haven't you? Well, pass it over here."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 09 - 04:41 PM

ANother sample of your close connection with soi-disant "real" reality, huh? Sorry about the big C landing on your plate like that.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 09 - 04:12 PM

How generous of me to wait.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 09 - 02:52 PM

Yeah. "Fats Angels" or the "Obese Outlaws" or "LDL MC" or....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 May 09 - 02:34 PM

Speaking of motorcycles...

I saw a couple of motorcycles with "training wheels" the other day. At first, I thought they were meant as aids for novice riders, then realized that both riders were so short and obese that their feet couldn't touch the ground to steady their bikes while stopped. The "training wheels" essentially turned the two-wheel bikes into something more akin to three-wheelers so they would stand up with no assistance from the riders.

Isn't it great that people so obese that they need to use an electric cart while grocery shopping can now enjoy the experience of being driven over by concrete trucks just like normal motorcyclists?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 09 - 02:03 PM

I think I saw half of those bikers....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 29 May 09 - 01:51 PM

Anyone seen my oldest sister around? According to her blog she is in MOAB today - but I don't see her anywhere.

Couldn't miss her if she shows up - She and her husband are on a Harley.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 09 - 12:55 PM

Around here water DOES come out of the ground already hot. See, for instance, the town of Lava Hot Springs or Yellowstone National Park.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 May 09 - 12:52 PM

Hi Mom!

Some people call the device used to heat water in a house a "hot water heater". Why? Shouldn't it be a "cold water heater"? The water starts out cold and is heated to make it hot. If the water started out hot, you wouldn't need a heater, would you?

Think about it. If you lived someplace where the water came out of the ground already hot and you needed to cool it down, it would be called a "hot water cooler", not a "cold water cooler", wouldn't it.

Of course, none of the MOAB kids call it a "hot water heater". They're too smart. They just call it a "water heater". Except for Amos. He calls it a "boiler".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 09 - 11:31 AM

Oh, Still, that was not my Equinox ad, but one for the same model, somewhere in Florida by someone else. I was just illustrating the model.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 09 - 11:16 AM

How about you cause me just a disdainful sniff, would that do?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 29 May 09 - 10:10 AM

Busy day, MOM, no time to talk. There is fresh bread in the bin and peanut butter and jelly in the fridge. Help yourself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 09 - 09:37 AM

...and lays claim to being one with the Creator of All.

Unless by "being one with" you mean "absolute identity with" I feel that I must take slight exception to your statement, Amos. I take great exception to the words "lays claim to being" which implies that I am somehow pretending to be that which I am not.

Well, I will simply heave a great sigh and assure you that neither is worth wasting a thunderbolt upon. Perhaps I'll cause you to sneeze a great sneeze or something instead.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 09 - 09:22 AM

I am sure Janie means "draws 18 inches ".   

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 May 09 - 09:12 AM

Parakeets...yum! Great appetizers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 May 09 - 04:10 AM

What a wonderful way to have a parakeet delivered.

I think you girls are both getting psychic bleedthrough from our house, where we focus intently on the two parakeets several times a day, especially weekends. The two birds were hatchlings together and arrived as a pair. They are named after their birth days (not by us): Tuesday, who is blue, and Wednesday, who is yellow. They have almost human flows of communication to each other and to us.

I am going back to bed now.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 29 May 09 - 12:53 AM

Daggum.

No one around to play. Guess I'll do what I should have done 2 hours ago and go to bed.

Nite Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 May 09 - 11:37 PM

The Campac is a very nice little shoal draft boat, too, Amos. 600lb cement keel for balast, draws 18'. Lots of room in the cuddy cabin for a couple of folks used to squeezing 7-10 days worth of gear and supplies into a kayak. An accomplished sailor, and neither of us were, could sail to the Bahamas in it if they picked their weather pretty carefully. While I admit we burned up the car doing it, we towed it from the Piedmont of North Carolina, to the Eastern Shore, of Maryland, to numerous points on the North Carolina coast, to TVA lakes in the North Carolina mountains with my little 1987 Ford Escort.

Stilly, your tale brings back a memory. My boyfriend in high school kept parakeets.   One unseasonably cool and blustery summer day we were down on the pier at the lake. Truly unseasonable weather. There was sudden flutter, and an immature white parakeet, obviously an escapee since they have not naturalized at all in WV (too cold), landed on his shoulder. He gathered it into his hands and we found a box in his car in which to put it. No one responded to the posters he put up around the lake to claim it, so he kept it and taught it to talk.

I forget it's name, but he would get it to talk into the phone to me.

Sweet white bird.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 May 09 - 11:18 PM

I forgot--after I read about Janie's dream, I was going to tell you about a back yard experience.

I was outside in this back yard that I was fairly new to, and something flitted past my head, through my peripheral vision, and onto the fence. It was a lovely little yellow parakeet, apparently hungry and hoping a human had food. I could get quite close before it hopped down the fence.

I went into the house and got a cup with a few sunflower seeds. Too big for this bird, but all I had. I held it up to the fence and the bird hopped onto the edge of the cup, then down in to try to eat the seeds. I carefully covered it with my hand and took it into the house and set the cup in the back bathroom.

The folks at the garden center down the road loaned me a spare cage (they keep several pet birds around the business) and I took him down there. One of the staff adopted it, and her children had it for a year or more until it escaped again. It never came back to my yard, but it was a charming visitor when it was here.

North of us about a mile and a half there are a couple of yards with sycamores and other large trees that have huge (shopping cart-sized) Monk's parakeet nests. They're wild, not native here, but well established.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 May 09 - 11:11 PM

I LOVE Pride and Prejudice.

And Jane Eyre. Those were novels meant to not only entertain, but to say something.

Amos: your ad said Don't bother writing if you are paying by Nigerian Cashiers checks. I promise not to waste your time of you don't waste mine as the price is firm and cash only.

Good thing I wasn't drinking anything at the time or I'd have hit my computer screens with it. :)

Have you read anything by Ron Hansen? Totally different from the Austen and Bronte novels, but equally amazing. The Assassination of Mr. Howard by the Coward Robert Ford will blow you away. I guarantee it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 09 - 11:00 PM

A fine collection of boats--I like that Folboat.

I see where Rapaire is asserting his grip on real Reality--who who drinks with degenerate Legionairres and lays claim to being one with the Creator of All. I swan.

Well, I used to know someone who did. I don't much, myself, anymore.

I am happy to report my older brother's lymphoma has vanished and he is recovering from the concomitant peeneumonia. This is a great relief to me.

I am having much fun revisiting all the classics of my youth. I am 3/4 of the way through Pride and Prejudice--I could not wade through it when I was sixteen, but now I find it highly entertaining. What lives they led in those times, those independently wealthy Brits--bored silly!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 May 09 - 10:49 PM

Oh, a sit-on-top. Hubby bought one not long before we separated, but I never did much surf kayaking. Most of my sea kayaking involved some touring and camping out on keys or barrier islands in the southeast, so we wanted something stable that could handle some gear. The Chinook eventually proved to be the best choice for our purposes. We also had, and wore out, a Folboat that was a real workhorse. The model shown is updated from the one we had for many, many years. We made an outrigger for it, and basically used it like a pick-up truck down in the Florida keys. It is what we paddled (sans the outrigger) on our epic Florida mainland-to-Key West paddle when we nearly died in an unpredicted nor'easter.   I abandoned ship after 7 days in the middle keys to flag down a Greyhound bus to take me back to our permanent winter camp on Little Torch. Hubby and the dog kept going and I picked them up at sunset in Key West 5 days later.

We also had a lot of fun and adventure in the shoal draft Compac 16', gunkholing around the Florida Bay back country and the North Carolina sounds, estuaries, and a lake or three. It was our wedding present to ourselves.

Much as I enjoyed all of that, there was no question but what hubby would be who would continue to make the best and most frequent use of all of the boats, so I readily relinquished any claim.

Miss 'em, tho'.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 09 - 10:20 PM

In the mind of SOME PEOPLE anything can happen.

Unlike myself, who is thoroughly grounded in real Reality.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 May 09 - 10:17 PM

Well, I wondered, LH. But I don't know much about the digestive habits of birds....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 09 - 10:13 PM

I have never heard a bird fart. I don't think they're capable of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 09 - 10:12 PM

Mom:

I sold the Equinox tandem kayak and bought back my bright yaller Cobra Navigator. I am very happy to have it back as it is a much better configured boat, and sits more gracefully in the water. I am most contented. The tandem was too long and heavy for solo use, and sat proud for'ard when only one person was using it, giving it undue windage (such as is sometimes caused by inept spells cast by bookbinders).

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 28 May 09 - 07:25 PM

Hmmm.....funny you should mention parakeets. I had the oddest, but rather delightful dream the other night that pigmy budgies had somehow gotten into the house and nested. I kept finding teeny-tiny little parakeets, babies no larger than the length of my finger to the first knuckle but fully fledged, perched on the branches of painted bowls, potted plants and the like. I was particularly charmed by the red ones, and grateful that they were so small that their droppings wouldn't create an unmanagable mess to clean up. However, I did have to keep plucking the little darlings from within the mouth of the cat. She didn't maul any of them, however, and I don't recall being overly anxious about their safety.

To the best of my memory, not one of them farted, so neither 'Spaw or Rapaire's spell appears to have been a factor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 09 - 07:09 PM

You've been rifling in Rapaire's teenage snapshot collection, Stilly!! For fie!! :D

Rapaire...no, I had no such fit, but one of my parakeets farted just now. Was that your terrible spell at work?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 May 09 - 04:57 PM

Aw, you found the image of Conan the Librarian's girlfriend!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 09 - 04:56 PM

Didn't you have a bit of a choking fit a few moments ago, Amos? Or was my aim bad?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 09 - 04:51 PM

We will the CRUSH the Rebellion, with one swift stroke!!!


Mwahahahaha, good Lord Bookbader. Such crushings are more easily found in psychopathic dreams than in the real world!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 09 - 04:05 PM

LOL!!! Great picture, Rapaire.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 09 - 03:56 PM

Ah, Amos. I find your lack of faith...disturbing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 09 - 03:20 PM

Um...not to argue with a Master or anything, but mastering all the significance in the universe is not quite the same thing as being a Master of the Universe. There's this thing called force....




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 09 - 03:05 PM

I am a LIBRARIAN, one of the Secret Masters Of The Universe. Don't ever piss me off.

As for LH's question....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 May 09 - 02:26 PM

AH, Rapaire, well done. I was familiar with coprophagous (and the far more common coprophobic) but neither I nor Google had a definition for auto gametic. A nice way of telling someone to go eff themselves.


A


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