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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 19 Apr 09 - 11:06 PM
Little Hawk 19 Apr 09 - 10:52 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 09 - 10:33 PM
Janie 19 Apr 09 - 10:12 PM
Rapparee 19 Apr 09 - 10:04 PM
Janie 19 Apr 09 - 09:05 PM
Janie 19 Apr 09 - 08:48 PM
Little Hawk 19 Apr 09 - 08:37 PM
Janie 19 Apr 09 - 08:36 PM
Janie 19 Apr 09 - 08:31 PM
Little Hawk 19 Apr 09 - 05:33 PM
Amos 19 Apr 09 - 05:25 PM
Acme 19 Apr 09 - 04:05 PM
Amos 19 Apr 09 - 04:00 PM
Amos 19 Apr 09 - 03:45 PM
Acme 19 Apr 09 - 03:17 PM
Amos 19 Apr 09 - 03:07 PM
Acme 19 Apr 09 - 03:04 PM
Amos 19 Apr 09 - 01:46 PM
Little Hawk 19 Apr 09 - 12:15 AM
Rapparee 19 Apr 09 - 12:08 AM
Janie 18 Apr 09 - 11:48 PM
Amos 18 Apr 09 - 11:47 PM
Acme 18 Apr 09 - 11:44 PM
Janie 18 Apr 09 - 11:35 PM
Amos 18 Apr 09 - 11:29 PM
Janie 18 Apr 09 - 11:29 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 09 - 11:14 PM
Little Hawk 18 Apr 09 - 10:53 PM
Amos 18 Apr 09 - 10:43 PM
Little Hawk 18 Apr 09 - 07:29 PM
Acme 18 Apr 09 - 07:16 PM
Little Hawk 18 Apr 09 - 02:31 PM
Janie 18 Apr 09 - 02:28 PM
Little Hawk 18 Apr 09 - 02:07 PM
Amos 18 Apr 09 - 01:38 PM
Rapparee 18 Apr 09 - 01:18 PM
Amos 18 Apr 09 - 12:07 PM
Janie 18 Apr 09 - 11:49 AM
Acme 18 Apr 09 - 11:16 AM
Rapparee 18 Apr 09 - 10:52 AM
Janie 18 Apr 09 - 10:43 AM
Little Hawk 17 Apr 09 - 11:29 PM
Amos 17 Apr 09 - 11:20 PM
Little Hawk 17 Apr 09 - 11:07 PM
Acme 17 Apr 09 - 10:52 PM
Rapparee 17 Apr 09 - 10:23 PM
Janie 17 Apr 09 - 10:04 PM
Janie 17 Apr 09 - 08:09 PM
Amos 17 Apr 09 - 07:19 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 11:06 PM

Ah, Planaria, you have exhibited the first dim glimmer of Understanding The True Purpose.

If you can progress and not be trapped in samsara you may, after a hundred lifetimes, find yet another dim glimmer.

I congratulate you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 10:52 PM

(laughing and rolling my eyes here...)

Rapaire, you are the sort of deity that could drive a man to drink and a woman to the nunnery, but you are right about one thing: Amos is distracted.

Indeed, I think it is his defining characteristic.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 10:33 PM

A great Teacher was walking down the road with two students. They had not eaten for three days when an old woman offered them some cold stew. She had no wood to make a fire and heat it, and the Teacher gently refused the kind offer. The two students did not and ate greedily.

They continued on their journey and afer a li or two one of the students said, "I feel that I will be ill" and vomited the stew into his bowl. Immediately the other did the same.

The Teacher took the bowls, pulled out his spoon, and ate the contents of both bowls. "I knew," he said, "that if I were patient I should have a warm meal."

That koan contains the answer to your question, if only you can understand it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 10:12 PM

Tell us, Oh Enlightened One, what is the meaning of "George."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 10:04 PM

There is no "Problem of Good and Evil." That is a byway which I created to fog your minds, to distract you from the True Path. Amos, for example, is completely distracted. Indeed, anyone who knows him agrees that he is "distracted" and consider it a polite understatement.

But what you consider, in your feeble minds, to be "good" is not the opposite of "evil" anymore than "white" is the opposite of "black" or "dark" the opposite of "light". You must embrace The All in Total before you can hope to understand, and everyone who has tried (save for Yeshua of Nazareth, Siddhārtha Gautama, Kali Bhavatarini, Mor-Ríoghain, and me) has had their head explode in the attempt. Messy. Brains all OVER the place. Except of course for Sam Socrates; he drank hemlockade instead (green, not purple). Sam wasn't the brightest flower in the garden, if he had been a wheel one side would have been flat. He couldn't get his head around something as simple as Existence vs. Essence. Many's the time I've heard him when he was "in his cups" bemoaning the lack of Essence in his life. And he couldn't even handle a foil, much less a sabre or an epee.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 09:05 PM

Well said, LH.    Thing is, most people don't recognize the concepts of good and evil as decisions. They see them as "ordained" by supreme beings. Taboos are important to the survival of the individual, the tribe, the species, the earth. Everything has costs as well as benefits, including taboos. The paradox around taboos is that one the one hand, some of them outlive their usefulness, and on the other, they may be perceived to have outlived their usefulness, but in fact have not, i.e., at the present time, whatever that present time may be, it appears to a significant number of people within a tribe or culture that the costs of the taboo outweigh the benefits. The problem is that very long-term costs and benefits are hidden from the immediacy of the present.


Or something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 08:48 PM

A dachshund just crapped in my yard right beside my newly planted herb garden. Fortunately, it appeared to have been constipated.

Still, We are not amused.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 08:37 PM

They are viewpoints from a given perspective. We decide what is "good" or "evil" from our perspective. There are a few things that we can almost all agree on...most of the time. Upon those few things we have founded our basic legal codes and notions of morality...both in our religions and our secular laws. Still, it remains rather subjective, depending on circumstance and viewpoint.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 08:36 PM

Damn, damn, damn - and double damn on top of that.

I am a creature of habit.

I broke the chain of my reading glasses yesterday when it tangled in the handle of some garden tool or other. I keep forgetting the glasses are now free to run amok at will, take them off, let go, and *clunk* on the ground or floor.

At least they haven't busted yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 08:31 PM

Useful constructs. At least, usually useful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 05:33 PM

Ah. And what are "good" and "evil"? Ultimately, I mean.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 05:25 PM

Is it possible, Socrates asked, for a good mind to promote an evil idea?

I cannot say it is, replied Rapaire. For a good mind would by its nature reject an evil idea.

But, replied Socrates, is it not possible for a mind to be misled as to the nature of an idea? And if it were misled, would it not then be reasonable to allow that a good mind could promote an evil idea?

Well, said Rapaire after some thought, it seems to me that a mind that is so misled by an evil idea into accepting it as a good one is either not a mind at all, or not good.

Ah, brilliantly riposted,m good Rapaire, answered Socrates. But when you say such a mind as that of which we speak is either not a mind or not good, do you mean that it is not practically good in the sense of being efficient, effective and skillful? Or do you mean that it is not inherently virtuous and of the right ethical oritentation?

Socrates, replied Rapaire, I hope you will forgive me, but I have a fencing appointment and can not spend the time I would like to in tussling with these deep issues with you, much as I enjoy the practice. I would say, in brief, that either failure in goodness--the goodness of skill or the goodness of virtue--could account for the same phenomenon, and in fact it is possible that it is a failure in skill that makes good minds go bad. And now, Socrates, I must say farewell, for the fellows at the Fencing Club will be looking for me, and wondering if I have abandoned them. And that would definitely not be good.

SO Socrates bid Rapaire farewell, and sat in the declining Athenian sunlight of a Spring afternoon, bathed in the perfume of olives and the Mediterranean sea-air, and pondered on the great wisdom that Rapaire had provided him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 04:05 PM

Oops. Can't get there from here. I started it to the Battle Hymn of the Republic but there's an extra line and I have to fudge a couple of words. (Now get that out of yer ear).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 04:00 PM

The Battle Cry of Garden Gnomes
(Tune: Roddy McCorley) 
{Click to play

Arise ye sons of stone and plaster! 
For victory is at hand! 
Cast off your lawns and ga-ardens! 
Where the foe has made you stand! 
Your shackles to unfeeling men 
At last, at last, throw down! 
And join the call for Freedom, 
For every Garden Gnome! 

What, stand ye there in apathy, 
When Freedom stirs the land? 
The call is heard on ev'ry side, 
And still you stilly stand! 
Rise up, rise up, you frozen men 
And dance the dance of Freedom bright, 
For every Garden Gnome! 


The trumpet's call has faded fast, 
And freedom's light grown cold 
And still you stand while all the world 
Cries out for action bold! 
And stand ye still, no hand to raise! 
No hero fierce stands tall, 
All frozen in your fear are ye, 
By cruel stone enthralled. 

Alack, farewell, you useless stone! 
No more I shall aspire ;
To call you to brave liberty 
With words of fight and fire,
I turn my heart to Flamingoes fair, 
Poor slaves of kitschy homes,
And never more will call upon
You ugly Garden Gnomes!





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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 03:45 PM

Ah, a fine auld favorite. There's a great parody of it in the Song Challenge about a favorite hen in Finchingfield that got offed by someone. Here 'tis. Not quite up to the original, but ya gotta keep plugging.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 03:17 PM

I'm U-tubing this afternoon, listening to lots of songs to shake one out of my head that I've heard a few too many times in the last week. Ear worms are insidious things. :)

Nell Flaherty's Drake is a good one for starters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 03:07 PM

Or waggling an epée at his eponym.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 03:04 PM

So you're resorting to shaking a speare at William?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 01:46 PM

There's more BS in the world, Horatio, than in all your geneaology!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 12:15 AM

It's looking more and more like what I had feared...

But perhaps this musclebound chimp/man that Shatner has possibly fathered will go on to star in some future edition of Star Trek!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Apr 09 - 12:08 AM

The look of a proud papa, perhaps?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 11:48 PM

Chinga?


It would seem there is some credence to the rumors. . Bill looks a little hot and bothered to me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 11:47 PM

Little Hawk:

Well, I understand. Shatner has been with you for a long, long time, through times when everyone else seemed to just abandon you. So it is right you should be loyal to him and defend his reality. Perfectly understandable.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 11:44 PM

A sleeping wino busted by a toy dino. Truth IS stranger than fiction.

Janie, motrin and a hot shower might help.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 11:35 PM

Yes, they notice more and more senior moments on his part....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 11:29 PM

I hope you didn't take that personally. It was their way of respectfully acknowledging your seniority...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 11:29 PM

Hurray for Kota!

Did more physical work today than I have done in a year. Gonna pay for it too - but not until Monday.

Just got back from a lovely evening with Dani and two other friends at a local tapas bar.





I'm still hungry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 11:14 PM

Well, Mom, I just got back from work.

Seems like the alarms went off and I was called because a) I'm the director and b) my name is on the call list.

There were three (3) cops there, two patrolmen and a sergeant. We went into the building and found that Kota hadn't been turned off, had somehow "awakened" and his shaking head had set off the motion alarms. Then, as the two patrolmen were sweeping the second floor, the sergeant and I noticed that someone had unrolled a sleeping bag and was sleeping amidst the shrubbery in front of the atrium window.

He had a bit of a surprise when he was awakened by three cops and hauled away -- he had, it seems, taken a bit of drink.

Anyway, the cops said it wasn't often that they responded to a call regarding a dinosaur.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 10:53 PM

Shatner is a real person, Amos. He's a living human being with a career and an income in 6 or 7 figures, earned by doing cheap ads for various oddball products and some real acting too here and there, plus those great guest appearances we all yearn to attend. Get a grip on yourself.

Whoever that chimp got his genes from, he inherited some dandy muscles (and other parts). He looks like he could break a man in two and not even strain himself to do it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 10:43 PM

Yes, I meant "t-e-t-c-h-y". meaning irritable or thin-skinned.

LH, Shatner could not be or have a love child. He is a figment of your own overwrought imagination.

It is possible the creature in the picture is Chongo's love-child, though, but I cannot imagine with whom.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 07:29 PM

Oh dear.

A disturbing thought has occurred to me. Bill occasionally goes off on a sort of tear where he frequents strange places where most people at his income level wouldn't go and he has "encounters" with the "entertainers" who are found in those places.

He says he does this in order to hone his acting skills.

What I am wondering is...could that chimp in Rapaire's photo be the bastard love child of William Shatner and...



and...


Chinga!???

That could explain both the gigantic coconuts AND the complete lack of concern for ordinary public decency or modesty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 07:16 PM

Little Hawk, William Shatner called. Said he'd call back again later when I asked if he wanted to leave a message. He grumbled something about "coconuts" and a leaked photo. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 02:31 PM

In this house the word "titchy" or "tichy" means the same thing as "touchy" or "thin-skinned". The dog is quite titchy. He usually feels that things are not being done to his complete satisfaction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 02:28 PM

Hmmm...did you mean "tetchy?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 02:07 PM

"You were padding the poll by leveraging your illegal sidereal advantage"

Christ, that's brilliant, Amos! Can we (the APP) use it in Chongo's next run for the presidency?

And is it pronounced "side real" or "sid EE ree all"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 01:38 PM

Ah, the Wild West. When they learn to spell "tectchy" so it is not confused with "techie" we can discuss allowing them back into the Union.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 01:18 PM

Speaking of hanging Chads, we lynched the Chad brothers last night. Tom and Chad Chad. Just had too much of their cattle rustlin', horse stealin', bottom dealin', and foolin' around with the wimmenfolk. They had also drank the beer tanker at the Legion hovel dry, which made the boys and girls a bit techy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 12:07 PM

Gwan witchoo!! I was up at the unusually late hour of 7 AM local time, and went straight to the office, altho' I did not have to do it. You were padding the poll by leveraging your illegal sidereal advantage, which is the temporal equivalent of counting hanging chads twice!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 11:49 AM

Note to self. Use sun screen next time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 11:16 AM

Duh. Had to look at my own thread link.

It's overcast out, MOM, don't hang out on the porch all day. The drizzle humidity will make your hair curl. Or your housedress mildew.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 10:52 AM

Good. Now come out here and do my yard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 18 Apr 09 - 10:43 AM

All these slugabeds, MOM, what are we gonna do with them? Here are you and I, taking a little breather from a full morning's yard work, and I bet Amos hasn't had his first cup of coffee yet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 11:29 PM

Chongo would feel you are off to an excellent start, pard.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 11:20 PM

Hi, Mom!!

I just came back from a session at the shooting range down in Bay Park. I had my sweet Colt .22 target gun, which is light and true, and which I had never fired. Well, I finally got to a place where I could, and I love it. I also fired two different .45s and two .38s, and BBW tried her had at all of them.

I did well for a newbie--my clusters were all within three inches of whatever I was aiming at. That was very satisfactory.

Points forward and all that!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 11:07 PM

HOLY-----!

What a set of-----------!!!

That is not Chongo, Rapaire. I don't know who the hell it is, but it's definitely not Chongo. Chongo doesn't go around in public flaunting his coconuts like that, not since he left the jungle and that was way back in 1928.

"1928???" you say? Well, I can't explain his longevity, but it is akin to D.E.'s godlike understanding of exactly what folk music IS and what it IS NOT. If you want to know, just ask her.   Her authority in that respect is comparable to that of the Queen...or Penelope Rutledge. It cannot be challenged. She IS folk music in the UK personified. Once she has spoken, all others should maintain a respectful silence and slink off if they still can....just like crooks usually do after Chongo has emptied a clip or two out of his tommy gun.

Janie, depending on the mood Chongo is in when he reads your story about his supposed youth, he's going to either be somewhat amused...or quite pissed off.

We shall see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 10:52 PM

Oooooooooooo.


Janie--diatomaceous earth?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 10:23 PM

After MUCH research I have found a picture of Chongo. Please note that he suffers from a terrible case of hemorrhoids.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 10:04 PM

Chongo, you came from a loving family who did all they could to do right by you.    Mom often wondered if her addiction to the fermented fruit of assorted rain forest trees had caused FAS (Fetal Alcohol Syndrome), and out of her deep feelings of guilt, she put up with your disruptive behavior to an extent that none of your brothers and sisters had enjoyed, which led them to murderous rage at the way MOM indulged you.

Surely you remember. You were barely a teenager when MOM fully accepted she had a sociopath on her hands. That realization did not lessen her love for you, but she had to protect the other kids. The tears poured down her face that day she dropped you at the waterfront, pressing a banana leaf wrapped around her life savings into your hand, and directed you to take the first boat you could buy passge on to New York.

"Don't come back, son", she cried. "I love you and believe in you, but don't come back, or I'll have to kill you."

Do remember how you tore open the banana leaf, counted what was inside, then looked up at your mother to complain, "That's all?"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 08:09 PM

Stilly, my take on DE.

Thing is, I like cats. I don't like them eating my birdies and over-running my yard, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 17 Apr 09 - 07:19 PM

Janie,

For very little you can get a BB gun and ten thousand rounds of air-propelled copper-coated BBs.

Just the thing to let a cat know the Happy Hunting Grounds are not where she or she thought they were.


A


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