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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Janie 08 Mar 09 - 07:23 PM
Janie 08 Mar 09 - 06:27 PM
Amos 08 Mar 09 - 04:25 PM
Acme 08 Mar 09 - 02:47 PM
Amos 08 Mar 09 - 01:51 PM
Amos 08 Mar 09 - 03:32 AM
Janie 07 Mar 09 - 10:29 PM
Janie 07 Mar 09 - 10:20 PM
Amos 07 Mar 09 - 04:29 PM
Amos 07 Mar 09 - 12:15 PM
Acme 07 Mar 09 - 11:46 AM
Amos 07 Mar 09 - 11:39 AM
Janie 07 Mar 09 - 07:08 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 06 Mar 09 - 10:43 PM
Acme 06 Mar 09 - 09:33 PM
Amos 06 Mar 09 - 09:27 PM
Janie 06 Mar 09 - 07:09 PM
Amos 06 Mar 09 - 04:32 PM
Amos 06 Mar 09 - 02:02 PM
Acme 06 Mar 09 - 01:25 PM
Amos 06 Mar 09 - 08:58 AM
Amos 06 Mar 09 - 01:30 AM
Janie 05 Mar 09 - 09:52 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Mar 09 - 09:42 PM
Amos 05 Mar 09 - 07:48 PM
Acme 05 Mar 09 - 07:34 PM
Amos 05 Mar 09 - 03:40 PM
Amos 05 Mar 09 - 02:04 PM
GUEST,Lilly June 05 Mar 09 - 01:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 05 Mar 09 - 12:40 PM
Amos 05 Mar 09 - 12:34 PM
Acme 05 Mar 09 - 11:52 AM
GUEST,freds 05 Mar 09 - 10:41 AM
Janie 05 Mar 09 - 06:38 AM
Amos 05 Mar 09 - 01:00 AM
GUEST,Rapaire (In Chicago) 04 Mar 09 - 08:28 PM
Amos 04 Mar 09 - 03:59 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 04 Mar 09 - 03:30 PM
Amos 04 Mar 09 - 12:11 PM
Amos 04 Mar 09 - 11:11 AM
Acme 04 Mar 09 - 10:13 AM
Amos 04 Mar 09 - 08:32 AM
Rapparee 04 Mar 09 - 08:02 AM
Acme 04 Mar 09 - 12:57 AM
Rapparee 03 Mar 09 - 06:41 PM
Amos 03 Mar 09 - 05:40 PM
Rapparee 03 Mar 09 - 04:09 PM
MMario 03 Mar 09 - 03:11 PM
MMario 03 Mar 09 - 03:02 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 03 Mar 09 - 02:45 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Mar 09 - 07:23 PM

Ha, you can't fool me!

My body and mind knows it is really only 6:23 pm.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 08 Mar 09 - 06:27 PM

Moi has spent the better part of the afternoon deconstructing what amounts to a rock pile grown through and through with assorted roots of undesirable saplings, honeysuckle, greenbriar and ivy.

Now I think I'll follow the example of my big brother and go buy a bottle of wine to help sooth the sore muscles.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 09 - 04:25 PM

I did that this morning. It was easy enough after a little Ibuprofen! :D


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Mar 09 - 02:47 PM

With that vino haze did you attempt to set the clocks? What was the outcome? Did you move them all forward?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 09 - 01:51 PM

I had way too much vino last night and smoked a cigar and played for my friends. We saw a really interesting film about the power of song in preserving the spirit of Estonia during the many long hard years of Russian and German occupation, and the courage of those who steered the country back to independence when the USSR broke up. A brave, brave people who love to sing. Especially in very lartge groups. And it sounds wonderful.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Mar 09 - 03:32 AM

What a fine occasion. I am very jealous.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Mar 09 - 10:29 PM

Maggie, regarding your question, Dani and I have been close friends for many years. It is she who introduced me to Mudcat. I know Bobert from the Getaway, where we always get in a little garden talk, and he has brought me several very nice plants in subsequent years. I had never had the pleasure of meeting his wife before. We started talking gardens and plants as soon as we laid eyes on each other. A kindred spirit and delightful company.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Mar 09 - 10:20 PM



Is that the customary way for a visitor to gain entry to houses in San Diego?


Oh my, what a lovely, warm day it was! P-Vine and Bobert are a perfectly matched pair and a good time was had by all at supper. They broght me a couple of rare azaleas that P-Vine had started - one from a cutting, and a native that she had started from a seed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 09 - 04:29 PM

A carrier pigeon came in from Legion Hall this morning and crapped on our door step. So we let him in and unfurled the note around his ankle. It said "to drunk ta see strate need help am stuck under large wench who is unconshus. send rapayre to distrack her plz am starving" and was signed by Galloping Jim "Skinner" Alderson, who is usually in charge of the Legion's remuda when they go on expeditions to the package store and who loads up their mule-trains coming back. UNfortunately, he did not include a phone number so I can't use my iPhone to help him out...hope he's okay.

I guess Rapaire is somewhere in Dublin or County Cork by now.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 09 - 12:15 PM

Here's my recipe:

two cups long-grain brwn rice
I can of yellow corn
1/2 cup shredded nuts -- almonds and pecans
1/2 cup chopped celery
1/2 cup chopped onion
salt, pepper, olive oil

(Olive oil goes in the cooker first)
(All ingredients subject to intuitive adjustment ad hoc).

Start rice cooking normally; add other ingredients about half-way through. Stir.

MAkes great leftovers. Excellent with a can of chile applied, or mixed with hamburger or chopped bacon.

People go crazy over this, for some reason.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 07 Mar 09 - 11:46 AM

Wow! MOM is mixing in a high-brow crowd now that the Legion Hall patrons are moping that their buddy Rap is out of town.

Lucky Janie, to see all of those mudcatters! Have you met before?

Me, I'm contemplating all of the elements to go in a birthday meal for a son who turns 17 today. I can manage to get fruit in, but if it is by request, chances are it wouldn't have veggies. I'll have to be sneaky--he likes fried rice, so I'll make some as a side dish and cram it full of stuff. ;)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Mar 09 - 11:39 AM

Dang, Janie, you get all the fun!!! I went to a String Quartet concert at the Neurosciences Auditorium last night--it was really beautiful! THe Mandelring Quartet from Germany--three sibs and a buddy. Awesome.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 07 Mar 09 - 07:08 AM

Mornin' MOM. Sure is nice to you have you all to myself. All those slug-a-beds in time zones further west are still snoozing. Let's go sit on the patio with our tea and scones and watch the birds as the sun rises up through the trees.

It is going to be bee-u-tee-ful day. We started the week here with the temperatures in the teens and are going to finish it with the temps near 80. It would seem that things warmed up considerably once brother Rapaire left the building.

Gonna be a busy day. Gotta get the house clean then go see clients, then go shop for violas, then meet Dani, Bobert and P-Vine for supper!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 10:43 PM

Hi Mom. I'll be at a renaissance faire selling pots for the next couple of days. I'm sure some of the other kids will keep you entertained.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 09:33 PM

I was thinking about something I wanted to say here while I was washing the dishes, but now I've forgotten what it was.

Never mind.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 09:27 PM

Awww, now, Janie, y'all come down to San Diego!! We can get you home in half the time!!! :D



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 07:09 PM

Hi Mom. Fairly decent workshop, considering it was an inexpensive one. The drive home sucked. If I wanted to sit in traffic on the freeway for an hour at a time, I'd move to LA. At least the beach would be closer there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 04:32 PM

Hey MOM!! In the last 36 hours I have completed and delivered one world-changing patent, two minor patents, and a completed operations manual for a sophisticated box that does digital recording.

Not bad for an old folkie, huh, Mom? Huh?




A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 02:02 PM

I do every year. The Federal Gummint and I have an arrangement, you might say. I pay them money and they keep me worried.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 01:25 PM

That's quite a large number, Amos. Have you written a check to send to the treasury yet, for your share?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 08:58 AM

Good morning, Mom!! Here's a smoothy, a big plate of Egg-Os and sausage links, three eggs scrambled as you like 'em, Vermont Maple on the side and country butter made fresh from Rapaire's memories.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 06 Mar 09 - 01:30 AM

Wave over and over and over and over and over and over.......



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 09:52 PM

Bee-dubya-ell, Harriette had a hissyfit when I called her Harold this afternoon.

Tried to bite me, she did.

Now she's a mere smear on the linoleum.




Hey MOM, I fooled around for two years and now have to scramble to get enough CEU's in to renew my license come July 1. So I'm headed down to Fayetteville very early in the morning to get some new ideas for treating OCD. Want I should wave at Ft. Bragg for you?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 09:42 PM

Hey, Mom! About five miles north of where we live is a sign that says "Caution, Deaf Child". It's been there since we bought this property sixteen years ago, possibly longer. Shouldn't it say "Caution, Deaf Adult" by now?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 07:48 PM


Visit the U.S. National Debt Clock




There...don't you feel better?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 07:34 PM

Sure as shootin' Shane didn't write it. Or Chongo.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 03:40 PM

I suspect this was a proxy post in Rapaire's solipsistic self-defense.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 02:04 PM

You don't work in no dance hall if you're lookin' for true love.

A hard-bitten case indeed. No Normal Floozie would pen such lines; they all have hearts of gold, as big as the Panhandle, and are highly tuned to the faint traces of real color in quartz and real love in gennulmen.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Lilly June
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 01:02 PM

Hi ya'll. My name is Lilly June and I work at Velma's Dance Hall across from The Idaho Legion's Legion Hall. Ya'll don't pay no attention to what my so-called coworker, Wanda, said about Mr. Rapaire earlier. Rapaire ain't no worse than any of the rest of that Legion Hall bunch. They is all a little quick on the draw, if you know what I mean. At least he takes his boots off first.

I don't know what got into Wanda. After all, we is floozies, not debutantes! You don't work in no dance hall if you're lookin' for true love. It's line 'em up, take their money, make 'em holler, show 'em the door.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 12:40 PM

Hi, Mom! Did you know that if you are on land and you're not in some extreme environment like the South Pole or an artificially sanitized environment like an operating room, you're never more than four feet away from a spider?







Did you know that the spider's name is "Harold"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 12:34 PM

I, too, go to work. But Mom is never far from my mind. As the favorite-behind-the-throne, I take my duties seriously.

Freds, his name is Rapaire Smith, and he will be available for tasting at the Comida de Todos Facones bar in Valencia, Spain on Tuesday evening next week. Don't miss it!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 11:52 AM

Busy week, MOM! Amos and Janie will have to hold up the fort. I have to keep leaving to go to work.

I know, I know, but someone has to do it. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 10:41 AM

Who is going away? Will their DNA be available? Is it tasty?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Janie
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 06:38 AM

Geez - how can we miss him if he won't go away?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 05 Mar 09 - 01:00 AM

MWahahahahahaha!!!!! Mom, can I have some more ginger snaps??? Mwahahahahahahaha!!!!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire (In Chicago)
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 08:28 PM

Amos has finally forced me Over The Edge and I will flee to Ireland and drink Guiness and Smithwick's and Even Stronger stuff.

It's all his fault. He should feel very, very, guilty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 03:59 PM

There are many forms of goodness in the world, BeeDub, as you well know. SOme folks, the shape-shifters of virtue, transmigrate from one kind of goodness to another; if they're not good at stealing cookies undetected, they're being good at eating them, enjoying them, digesting them, or contributing them back to the environment.

Besides, I only use that phrase when I think I might have gone too far in annoying Rapaire, and am trying to make him hold still for the next black banderilla in my own little tercio de varas.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 03:30 PM

Hey, Mom! How come Amos always calls Rapaire "Good Rapaire"? I just got through talkin' with Wanda, one of the floozies that works at Velma's, the "dance hall" across the street* from The Legion Hall, and she says the boy ain't much good at all. She says if it's true that you are what you eat, Rapaire must eat nothin' but Minute Rice.


* Calling the thing between The Legion Hall and Velma's a "street" is being extremely kind. "Mosquito infested quagmire composed of equal parts mud, horse manure, and cow manure with the occasional dash of Legionaire puke tossed in for variety" is a more accurate description. But since it's hard to fit all that into the address line on an envelope, they call it a street.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 12:11 PM

He's mad that trusts in the tameness of a wolf, a horse's health, a boy's love, a whore's oath, a fencer's position, or a librarian's certainty..." said Lear.

And we all know that without purely spiritual powers, there is no certainty on the momentum and position of any particle, including Rapaire's, at any single moment.

Therefore, as you dream of Rapaire performing Aerolingus on his way to Shannon, remember he may perfectly well be riding bareback on the steppes of eastern Siberia. Ya never know which way the cat is gonna jump.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 11:11 AM

SUre, but don't leave them on the porches of mine ear...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 10:13 AM

You want some eggs with that Hamlet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 08:32 AM

Alas, Rapaire, poor Rapaire. Oi knew him, Horatio, a fellow of infinite
jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath bore me on his back a
thousand times, and now how abhorr'd in my imagination it is!
My gorge rises at it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 08:02 AM

Yes, he is. After he eats, showers, gets dressed, and things like that. Then tomorrow he's going to take an east-bound Aer Lingus flight to Shannon, assuming he doesn't get the Petty Hitler at the checkin counter he got last year. If he does he's going to be more than a little POed and will make the PH's day for him.

Ta, Mom. I'll try to check in if I can.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 04 Mar 09 - 12:57 AM

So I guess he's ready to get on a plane in the morning, eh? Cork, look out. Here comes a real character.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 06:41 PM

I thought this somehow apropos.

A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large
plastic garbage bags behind her. One of the bags rips, and every once in a while a $20 bill falls out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a policeman stops her, and says, "Ma'am, there are $20
bills falling out of your bag."

"Oh, really? Darn!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back, and
see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me."

"Well, now, not so fast," says the cop. "How did you get all that
money? "You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no", said the little old lady. "You see, my back yard is right
next to the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans
come and pee through the fence into my flower garden. So, I stand
behind the fence with my hedge clippers. Each time some guy sticks his
thing through the fence, I say, '$20 or off it comes'.

"Well, that seems only fair" laughs the cop. "OK. Good luck! Oh, by
the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know", she says. "not everybody pays".


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 05:40 PM

There are two different paths to a single root (and one skin). The Latin root preparare, to get ready for something beforehand, is the same root as the one from which we get paring, I think, and it originally meant to reduce something little by little (since about 1500). It comes from an old root implying the birth of a calf or small animal. Parare, Lat. means to get ready, while preparare means to get ready beforehand. When you pare a vegetable you are making it ready, but you are also preparing it if you do it before you need to use it. If a vegetable is moving along a rail track at the speed of light c, and is observed by a chef C standing on the nearby platform X, then it will appear to the observer C to never quite arrive at readiness. It's all relative to temporal distortion.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 04:09 PM

I've always called it "peeled."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 03:11 PM

Maybe rather then prepared it should be termed "antepared" as in antebellum or antedeluvian


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 03:02 PM

it's a paradox anyway, because if before paring the item is prepared; but prepared would normally mean it was pared prior to purchase, in whihc case it would not need paring, because the prepared item was already pared.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 03 Mar 09 - 02:45 PM

Hey Mom! 'Splain somethin' to me! When you remove the skin or rind from a vegetable before cooking, it's called "paring", right? And after that skin has been removed, the vegetable has been "pared", right? Now, the prefix "pre" means "before", right? So a vegeatble with its skin still on could be said to be in a "prepared state", right? But a vegetable that has been cooked is also said to be "prepared". So first it's prepared, then it's pared, then it's prepared. Huh?


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