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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 12 Sep 08 - 04:19 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 12 Sep 08 - 04:10 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 08 - 02:38 PM
Amos 12 Sep 08 - 02:16 PM
Rapparee 12 Sep 08 - 01:38 PM
Acme 12 Sep 08 - 12:35 PM
MMario 12 Sep 08 - 11:07 AM
Amos 12 Sep 08 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 08 - 09:44 PM
Amos 11 Sep 08 - 07:48 PM
Acme 11 Sep 08 - 07:06 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 08 - 06:21 PM
Amos 11 Sep 08 - 05:45 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 08 - 05:43 PM
Amos 11 Sep 08 - 05:30 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 08 - 04:31 PM
MMario 11 Sep 08 - 03:52 PM
MMario 11 Sep 08 - 03:51 PM
Amos 11 Sep 08 - 03:43 PM
Amos 11 Sep 08 - 03:30 PM
Rapparee 11 Sep 08 - 02:34 PM
Amos 11 Sep 08 - 12:36 PM
MMario 11 Sep 08 - 11:45 AM
Amos 11 Sep 08 - 10:40 AM
Rapparee 11 Sep 08 - 09:14 AM
Amos 10 Sep 08 - 11:55 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 08 - 10:40 PM
Acme 10 Sep 08 - 08:03 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 08 - 06:33 PM
Amos 10 Sep 08 - 06:31 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 08 - 04:13 PM
Amos 10 Sep 08 - 12:35 PM
Rapparee 10 Sep 08 - 12:17 PM
Amos 10 Sep 08 - 10:58 AM
Amos 10 Sep 08 - 10:13 AM
Rapparee 10 Sep 08 - 10:05 AM
Amos 10 Sep 08 - 12:35 AM
Acme 10 Sep 08 - 12:34 AM
Rapparee 09 Sep 08 - 11:00 PM
Acme 09 Sep 08 - 10:46 PM
Amos 09 Sep 08 - 10:44 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 08 - 10:31 PM
Amos 09 Sep 08 - 10:25 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 08 - 10:17 PM
Amos 09 Sep 08 - 08:11 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 08 - 04:44 PM
Amos 09 Sep 08 - 04:02 PM
Amos 09 Sep 08 - 04:00 PM
Donuel 09 Sep 08 - 03:43 PM
Rapparee 09 Sep 08 - 03:38 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 04:19 PM

I had to go to school to get an M.S. degree.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 04:10 PM

Hi Mom!

I just saw a Google ad for "Online B.S. Degrees". Why would anyone want to pay money to have a degree in B.S.?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 02:38 PM

Just you wait, Amos, just you wait.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 02:16 PM

Noted? NOTED??? Sir, you do him a great disservice with such faint praise. He is not only noted, he is wide and famous in his own mind!!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 01:38 PM

Since a noted political pundit* has said, quite truthfully, "ALL politics is BS, but not all BS is politics" it could be difficult to enforce.
















*Hint: He's the Director the of public library in Pocatello, Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 12:35 PM

What would you say?

Hey, I had an idea this morning. We'd better be careful that Sarah P. doesn't cotton to MOM and the MOAB. If she read it from end to end she'd be SO WELL equipped to be VP it wouldn't be funny--except, of course, she'd also have some great funny stories to tell and some stunningly thoughtful observations of the world around us that would astonish all listeners.

So, here it is:

Mother of All BS Threads© is off limits for McCain folks' foraging and mining for details without proper citation and acknowledgement.

There. That takes care of Little Sarah with the big jaw.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 11:07 AM

heh-heh-heh-heh.

she said

"hoopla"


heheheheheheheheh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 08 - 10:52 AM

THe Motto makes the same kind of sense as some of the other realities you have offered. But I guess that's the BS universe!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 09:44 PM

I just got back from a Legion meeting. They are going to start a group for young people called "Sons and Daughters of The Idaho Legion Embracing Purity and Temperance" (SADOTILEPAT). The motto chosen is "Don't Walk A Mile In Our Shoes." The primary focus would seem to be softball and/or rugby and/or archery.

I'm not at all sure how this is going to go, since the sports will be played all year around and could cause serious interference with the beer swilling in the Hovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 07:48 PM

The Forum page seems to think the number I claimed, and the one MM claimed, are spot on.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 07:06 PM

Why all of the hoopla two numbers off?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 06:21 PM

Your sea kayak is finally "coming out", huh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 05:45 PM

Sure I do, and it's ALL good. I write my own stuff, and my birthday is tomorrow and I just got a new bandsaw from my mother-in-=law!!! Mwahahaha.

And I am taking my sea-kayak out again before dawn on Saturday.

Mwahahahaha.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 05:43 PM

Ground Amos too while you're at it. If you don't know what he's done, he does.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 05:30 PM

MWAha

hahaha

hahahaha

hahahaha

hahahahahahahahahaha


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 04:31 PM

MOM!!!

MMario took my number!!

Ground him.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 03:52 PM

two
five
two
five
two


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 03:51 PM

which is two before the semi-spinner


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 03:43 PM

25250!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 03:30 PM

Ah, no. You are sadly, sadly, sadly mistaken. In fact your assertions verge on the pathetic and on the ridiculous. But I suspect you already knew that, as any good Narcissist would.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 02:34 PM

Your imagination is actually a creation of my imagination.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 12:36 PM

Me, too!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 11:45 AM

Sometimes my imaginations staggers me....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 10:40 AM

1. Thou shalt not.

Shall, too, so there.

2. Thou shalt.

Won't.

3. Thou shalt try to reconcile the differences between 1 and 2, above.

No problem.

4. Thou shalt fail in 3, above.

Too late, Big Guy. Got it taped.

5. Thou shalt feel guilty as hell about it.

Knock, knock.... .... Argo!

6. Thou shalt do penance, which shalt be sending me all thy worldly goods, which I own anyway.

...Argo who????

7. Thou shalt still feel guilty about it.

...Argo Phuqueyerself.

8. Thou shalt raise thy voice and rail against me, thy Creator.

DOne.

9. Thou shalt feel guilty about 9, above, also.

Ixnay on the ilt-guay, Eator-cray.

10. Thou shalt be smitten and go to thy Judgement feeling guilty as all hell about failing in 3, above.

Ain't a-gonna happen, Big Guy. You are too far out in left field to even see the plate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 08 - 09:14 AM

Oh, I already know what you're going to decide. I merely want to give you the illusion of choice and free will so that you'll feel even more guilty when you think you have broken one of my commandments:

1. Thou shalt not.
2. Thou shalt.
3. Thou shalt try to reconcile the differences between 1 and 2, above.
4. Thou shalt fail in 3, above.
5. Thou shalt feel guilty as hell about it.
6. Thou shalt do penance, which shalt be sending me all thy worldly goods, which I own anyway.
7. Thou shalt still feel guilty about it.
8. Thou shalt raise thy voice and rail against me, thy Creator.
9. Thou shalt feel guilty about 9, above, also.
10. Thou shalt be smitten and go to thy Judgement feeling guilty as all hell about failing in 3, above.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 11:55 PM

"You decide"....????

OK...who are you and what have you done with Rapaire?

No solipsist would ever say "You decide", even a weisenheimer one like Rapaire.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 10:40 PM

Well, we might have been on the Oregon Coast, moving slowly south from Astoria to Depoe Bay before heading back.

Or then again maybe I really was kidnapped by the Bavarian Illiterati.

You decide.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 08:03 PM

So where were you really, Rapaire? Did you get stuck in the bathroom down at the Legion Hovel and just don't want to admit that it took three days for the drunks to find you because they usually walk out the front door and pee around the corner in the alley?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 06:33 PM

I'm sorry, but I'm still recovering from my abduction by the Bavarian Illiterati.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 06:31 PM

I am sorry to see that your literacy is also suffering, but you can still have a nice retirement, if you don't do anything too challenging or anything that requires memory.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 04:13 PM

"Bare", not "bear". Theatre has progressed since Shakespeare's day, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 12:35 PM

...stage left, pursued by a bear.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 12:17 PM

As it is written at the end of "Macbeth", "Hamlet", and other such plays, Exeunt omnes.

That's Latin for "We all gotta go sometime."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 10:58 AM

Go to!!

No, I shall not go to. YOU go to!

No, YOU go to.

No, go to yourself!!

No way--you go to!!

Ain't a gonna. Go to you!

No, go to YOU!

No, YOU!!!

I'm tellllling.

Brat.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 10:13 AM

Well, you lifted it neatly, and then protest I failed to recognize you for it. And somehow, make me the villein? Pshaw. As for le brave de Bergerac, tu te trompes encore. Je peux le lire facilement, mais ca n'est pas le meme chose que comprendre lui qui l'a mis la-haut.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 10:05 AM

What, sirrah?! You cannot read la belle langue as she is writ and must instead engage is crude insults? Go to, go to! You are a villein!

Not to recognize at first glance the opening sequence of Alexander Pope's Dunciad is all but unforgivable in someone of your claimed intelligence and literacy! I credited Rostand and assumed, wrongly, that you would recognize the immortal words of Pope.

подленький сноб!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 12:35 AM

Wait. I defend Cyrano against your heartless borrowings of his name, and you imply this brings down the curtain of final darkness on all life? And then try to thrash me with the "This is not a nose, sir" dialogue in early French? What the hell?

I erred--it is not Republicanism which keeps you in the closet, sirrah.

You are a slumgullion, a ribald patty-shank, a miscreant of dreams, a babble-fish, an untoward galoot.

Go to.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Sep 08 - 12:34 AM

Cut and paste--this is a new fencing move, non?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 11:00 PM

In vain, in vain - the all-composing hour
Resistless falls: The Muse obeys the power.
She comes! she comes! the sable throne behold
Of Night primeval, and of Chaos old!
Before her, Fancy's gilded clouds decay,
And all its varying rainbows die away.
Wit shoots in vain its momentary fires,
The meteor drops, and in a flash expires.
As one by one, at dread Medea's strain,
The sickening stars fade off th' ethereal plain;
As Argus' eyes by Hermes' wand oppressed,
Closed one by one to everlasting rest;
Thus at her felt approach, and secret might,
Art after Art goes out, and all is Night.
See skulking Truth to her old cavern fled,
Mountains of Casuistry heaped o'er her head!
Philosophy, that leaned on Heaven before,
Shrinks to her second cause, and is no more.
Physic of Metaphysic begs defence,
And Metaphysic calls for aid on Sense !
See Mystery to Mathematics fly!
In vain! they gaze, turn giddy, rave, and die.
Religion blushing veils her sacred fires,
And unawares Morality expires.
Nor public Flame, nor private , dares to shine;
Nor human Spark is left, nor Glimpse divine !
Lo! thy dread Empire, Chaos! is restored;
Light dies before thy uncreating word:
Thy hand, great Anarch! lets the curtain fall;
And universal Darkness buries All.


Amos could have said, as Rostand wrote,

Ah ! non ! c'est un peu court, jeune homme !
On pouvait dire... Oh ! Dieu !... bien des choses en somme...
En variant le ton, -par exemple, tenez
Agressif : "Moi, monsieur, si j'avais un tel nez,
Il faudrait sur-le-champs que je me l'amputasse !"
Amical : "Mais il doit tremper dans votre tasse
Pour boire, faites-vous fabriquer un hanap !"
Descriptif : "C'est un roc !... c'est un pic !... c'est un cap !
Que dis-je, c'est un cap ?... C'est une péninsule !"
Curieux : "De quoi sert cette oblongue capsule ?
D'écritoire, monsieur, ou de boîtes à ciseaux ?"
Gracieux : "Aimez-vous à ce point les oiseaux
Que paternellement vous vous préoccupâtes
De tendre ce perchoir à leurs petites pattes ?"
Truculent : "Ca, monsieur, lorsque vous pétunez,
La vapeur du tabac vous sort-elle du nez
Sans qu'un voisin ne crie au feu de cheminée ?"
Prévenant : "Gardez-vous, votre tête entraînée
Par ce poids, de tomber en avant sur le sol !"
Tendre : "Faites-lui faire un petit parasol
De peur que sa couleur au soleil ne se fane !"
Pédant : "L'animal seul, monsieur, qu'Aristophane
Appelle Hippocampelephantocamélos
Dut avoir sous le front tant de chair sur tant d'os !"
Cavalier : "Quoi, l'ami, ce croc est à la mode ?
Pour pendre son chapeau, c'est vraiment très commode !"
Emphatique : "Aucun vent ne peut, nez magistral,
T'enrhumer tout entier, excepté le mistral !"
Dramatique : "C'est la Mer Rouge quand il saigne !"
Admiratif : "Pour un parfumeur, quelle enseigne !"
Lyrique : "Est-ce une conque, êtes-vous un triton ?"
Naïf : "Ce monument, quand le visite-t-on ?"
Respectueux : "Souffrez, monsieur, qu'on vous salue,
C'est là ce qui s'appelle avoir pignon sur rue !"
Campagnard : "Hé, ardé ! C'est-y un nez ? Nanain !
C'est queuqu'navet géant ou ben queuqu'melon nain !"
Militaire : "Pointez contre cavalerie !"
Pratique : "Voulez-vous le mettre en loterie ?
Assurément, monsieur, ce sera le gros lot !"
Enfin parodiant Pyrame en un sanglot
"Le voilà donc ce nez qui des traits de son maître
A détruit l'harmonie ! Il en rougit, le traître !"
-Voilà ce qu'à peu près, mon cher, vous m'auriez dit
Si vous aviez un peu de lettres et d'esprit
Mais d'esprit, ô le plus lamentable des êtres,
Vous n'en eûtes jamais un atome, et de lettres
Vous n'avez que les trois qui forment le mot : sot !
Eussiez-vous eu, d'ailleurs, l'invention qu'il faut
Pour pouvoir là, devant ces nobles galeries,
Me servir toutes ces folles plaisanteries,
Que vous n'en eussiez pas articulé le quart
De la moitié du commencement d'une, car
Je me les sers moi-même, avec assez de verve,
Mais je ne permets pas qu'un autre me les serve.


But no, the dread Empire is restored....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 10:46 PM

I think he'd be kinda cute. Just don't hit the kayak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 10:44 PM

It ccould go worse with you sir, than with me; for he hates plagiarists with the fire of hell in his belly, and would as soon send you to your maker as hear you claim him as the maker of your limping couplets.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 10:31 PM

I think, Amos, that you should rejoice that Hector Savinien de Cyrano de Bergerac has been dead since July 28, 1655, for his rapier was sharper than either his wit or his nose. I confess that I would hate to see you spitted upon a meter or more of cold steel, or simply embarrassed by having your belt or braces cut away and you left standing in your polka-dotted boxers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 10:25 PM

WHy don't you just feast on your nose, sirrah?



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 10:17 PM

Tomorrow eve I could go and fence
But I think I'll go shopping instead;
For without some food to fuel the bod
I could easily wind up dead.

         --Cyrano de Bergerac, Collected Poems
          (Carcossone: La Presse d'Epee, 1678).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 08:11 PM

ANother swing from the brassy ring,
A flitting turn of the blade,
Another leap to the top of the wall,
And one more prayer softly said,

Then the guards turn pale and thieir startled wail
Rings out on the midnight chime
And they see our Mom rise up like a psalm
Offered God at the vespers' time.

And up she drifts, like a whisp of truth
RIsing higher, above the crowd,
And the soothing chime of her passing up
Brings peace to the angry and loud.

Once again her place is replete with grace
Rising up to the highest line;.
And we smile with pride, because deep inside
We know it is MOAB time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 04:44 PM

We (the Supervisors and I) are a-headin' out to the shootin' range on Friday mornin'. Gonna practice up for the Election. Cain't have them politicians feelin' missed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 04:02 PM

DONUEL!! That was BEAUTIFUL!~!!


Thanks for the link, and the work.



You da man!



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 04:00 PM

Sigh. Oh, ye of little virtue.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 03:43 PM

Republicans are most diverse

even the base is a spectrum

The wierdest one to me is the Sam's Club Republican who is against communism and abortion but worship the savings at Walmart.

A gold dubloon to whoever can lost them all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Sep 08 - 03:38 PM

Amos is a Closet Republican because:

*he kayaks on the ocean, and Bush I was in the Navy;
*he flies in airplanes, and Bush II was some sort of pilot;
*he's married, and so is my Republican brother;
*he would make you think he's for Obama, just like Sarah Palin;
*he plays guitar, just like Wayne LaPierre;
*he lives in California, just like Nixon and Reagan

and I'm sure you can find many other proofs.

Oh, he'll try to deny it. But the proof is there!!


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