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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 02 Aug 08 - 10:32 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 08 - 10:17 PM
Little Hawk 02 Aug 08 - 06:56 PM
Acme 02 Aug 08 - 06:55 PM
Little Hawk 02 Aug 08 - 06:44 PM
Amos 02 Aug 08 - 06:36 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM
Amos 02 Aug 08 - 01:18 PM
Acme 02 Aug 08 - 01:13 PM
Rapparee 02 Aug 08 - 12:10 PM
Amos 02 Aug 08 - 12:05 PM
Acme 02 Aug 08 - 11:53 AM
Rapparee 02 Aug 08 - 11:50 AM
Amos 02 Aug 08 - 11:18 AM
Rapparee 02 Aug 08 - 09:14 AM
Amos 01 Aug 08 - 08:07 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 08 - 08:03 PM
Acme 01 Aug 08 - 08:01 PM
Amos 01 Aug 08 - 07:45 PM
Amos 01 Aug 08 - 07:44 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 08 - 04:57 PM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 08 - 02:23 PM
Amos 01 Aug 08 - 01:29 PM
Rapparee 01 Aug 08 - 12:38 PM
Amos 01 Aug 08 - 10:34 AM
Rapparee 01 Aug 08 - 10:07 AM
Amos 01 Aug 08 - 09:59 AM
Rapparee 01 Aug 08 - 09:57 AM
Rapparee 01 Aug 08 - 09:52 AM
Amos 01 Aug 08 - 09:44 AM
Little Hawk 01 Aug 08 - 12:29 AM
Amos 31 Jul 08 - 11:36 PM
Acme 31 Jul 08 - 11:09 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 08 - 09:47 PM
Amos 31 Jul 08 - 09:43 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 08 - 06:54 PM
Acme 31 Jul 08 - 06:23 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 08 - 04:48 PM
Acme 31 Jul 08 - 03:05 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 08 - 02:47 PM
Rapparee 31 Jul 08 - 02:40 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 08 - 02:27 PM
Amos 31 Jul 08 - 02:20 PM
Little Hawk 31 Jul 08 - 02:01 PM
Amos 31 Jul 08 - 09:30 AM
Rapparee 31 Jul 08 - 09:24 AM
Acme 31 Jul 08 - 12:47 AM
Amos 30 Jul 08 - 08:14 PM
Rapparee 30 Jul 08 - 03:38 PM
Little Hawk 30 Jul 08 - 03:08 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 10:32 PM

Ah...foaming at the ramparts now, are we? I expected as much.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 10:17 PM

Anybody who thinks that talking about dogs constitutes a waste of bandwidth deserves ta be hung! And I'd supply the rope, only it would leave some poor little dachshunds homeless and alone. They'd be whimpering sad and lonely in their corner, wondering where their next meal was coming from and if that thing hanging in the tree out back was edible or merely decorative and therefore something to pee on.

And you oughta be right glad Gluon and the Gluonettes can't read!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 06:56 PM

Oh, well...if only that was all there was to it. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 06:55 PM

Talking about dogs constitutes "egregious consumption" of bandwidth?

I think not!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 06:44 PM

I think I'll rename you guys "The Gang of Three". Then you can all be arrested and tried by a Mudcat People's Court for egregious and pointless consumption of bandwidth. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 06:36 PM

I think it was a country and western hit, first, Rapaire. ;>)

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 06:10 PM

"If there are no dogs in heaven I don't want to go there." -- A priest of my acquaintance.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 01:18 PM

If I speak in human and angelic tongues 2 but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal.
And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing.
If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing.

3 Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, (love) is not pompous, it is not inflated,
it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth.
It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
4 Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing.

For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away.

When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things.

At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. So faith, hope, love remain, these three; but the greatest of these is lying under a porch with a dog by your side, which is love.


.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 01:13 PM

I agree, I've had some wonderful porches for retreating under. The first house where I remember living (in West Seattle) had a basement that wasn't actually dug very deep, but the foundation of the house supporting the upper floors of the house was tall. In the back and the front there were great spaces for camps and forts. It also had potting greenhouses and a free-standing chicken coop. I'd love to have that house now, but it all probably fell into disrepair before anyone realized how useful those spaces could be.

I've noticed that the dogs hang out in the garage even though the air is hot because the concrete is cooler. They lie on the concrete to stay cooler, so if they can stay cool out there, I can. Though I'm going to bring them in soon to spend the afternoon and evening in the house. They'll each get a bath that will feel good (via a hose in the yard) and after they're dry they can come in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 12:10 PM

To each her own, Amos. I used to spend time under a porch (sans dogs) when I was young. My siblings and I used it for a play fort, or sometimes we'd just crawl under there because it was there. Laying on the cool, shaded ground, talking together about our next madcap antic -- ah, it was so nice. Until my mother turned the garden hose on us under the pretext to watering the petunias, of course.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 12:05 PM

Still:

I can understand the dogs crawling in under the porch, but are you really looking to go under there with them?

It seems unseemly.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 11:53 AM

You guys sit up there and deconstruct prosy poetry, but the dogs and I are going to clear out a spot under the porch near the foundation and try to stay cool.

We're under a heat advisory that started yesterday and runs through Monday. 105+ for the forseeable future. Yuck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 11:50 AM

Every time I pat myself on the head I have a compulsion to rub my stomach at the same time. Works in reverse, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 11:18 AM

As an aside, in the Minor Moments in History department, I seriously doubt that anyone has ever used "iambic pentameter" and "golden showers" in the same sentence before, bud.

So pat yourself on the head, if you don't mind me being a bit superfluous and redundant and over-emphasizing the obvious.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 08 - 09:14 AM

I'm sorry, Amos, but I'm just not into those SoCal escapades like "scansion" or "iambic pentameter" or "golden showers". It's not my thing, as they say, but I certainly understand and feel that those who wish to indulge should be allowed to do so as long as they are consenting adults and no one gets hurt in the process. I guess we're a bit more conservative up here in Idaho, that's all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 08:07 PM

Yer looking purdy wrinkled, pal,
You'd better put yer pants on
The rhythm method doesn't work
Until you master scansion....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 08:03 PM

An' Rapaire he hunkered down, nibblin' a knish,
To see who'd grab twenny-four seven, who would be so shellfish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 08:01 PM

What a shiny round number!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 07:45 PM

Ole Ma got up and hunkered down
And raised up seven hunnert.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 07:44 PM

And while the lowly doldrum dragged,
An' thuh legion burnt and plunnerd....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 04:57 PM

Aunts Abby and Martha will be disappointed, but they're used to disappointment. I don't know about Teddy, though -- he did so want to dig a new lock for the Panama Canal.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 02:23 PM

Too true.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 01:29 PM

No, no--save it for those of more fragile digestion, such as your vaunted friends in the Legion. I understand it aids regularity. And gawd knows they need that.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 12:38 PM

Are you certain? My aunts made the elderberry wine and it's considered to be quite good. Indeed, no one has ever complained about it at all.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 10:34 AM

A stout CHianti, for me, sir, but the dollop of forgiveness is all I care about, and thank you for. I hereby take back and renounce all the heartless, unfeeling things you have ever said about me.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 10:07 AM

Oh, sob! I am weeping at your allegations, sir! Because I am tender-hearted and truly a gentle, caring soul I am accused of perfidy when I lay bare my innermost secret thoughts and cares! Were I a lesser man I would hunt you down, cut you into collops, burn those to ashes, and fling the ashes to the winds -- but I am not such a man. I have risen above such things. May I offer you a glass of elderberry wine as a token of my forgiveness?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 09:59 AM

Dear me, sir, you're swinging a bit far, or laying it on a bit thick, or both. I am sure, in any case, that you are a fine feller and have always been one. There are several years of collected evidence right here on this thread!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 09:57 AM

Oh yes -- I long ago left the fold of Republicanism and now enjoy the political philosophy and religious views of the Militant Quakers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 09:52 AM

Yes, I'm glad you can finally see behind the facade I put up so that when I'm drinking with the Legionaires and Legionettes I can hold my own in machismo. Deep inside I am a sensitive soul, one who cries when he very inadvertently steps upon an ant or sees a dead skunk along the highway. In truth, whenever I see such as thing as the latter, no matter how old it might be I always stop and offer a prayer or two and then, sorrowing, bury it and put a little marker on the grave with a sentiment such as this:

RIP
A Skunk
Loved By Its Family And Friends
Struck Down In Its Prime
By A Careless Driver
"It Lived To A Ripe Age"
Memento Mori.

Every month I have a Requiem Solemn High Mass read for all of the bacteria and others of God's Creatures I may have inadvertently killed. Sure, it's expensive to rent the cathedral, hire the mourners, pay the organist's fees, and find a priest who can say the Mass in Latin, but it's worth it.

I will even stop and water a plant as I walk through a park or in the woods or hills so that it will be assured enough hydration to survive.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 09:44 AM

Well, I am sure that I am not the only one taken in and duped by that gentle soul's cloud of persiflage, pretending to be a weapons-obsessed keeper of guns, swords and killing knives, and posing as a chest-beating militant weapons-mad machismo nutball. It could have fooled anyone!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 08 - 12:29 AM

I'm glad to see, Amos, that you're a big enough man to admit it when you were wrong about someone... ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 11:36 PM

Oh, Rapaire!! I have misjudged you so!! Somehow, all those posts you have written over the years about hunting folks down, and semi-auto weapons and calibres, and inventories of devices meant for wreaking havoc on others' bodies, and defending, and so on, all just completely misled me. I am so glad to see the True You instead!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 11:09 PM

No, you were holding the camera. Same reason I'm rarely in any photos I publish.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 09:47 PM

Dear Amos: I'm not in that picture. Those are all the Supervisors from my Library, but it does not include me. That is because I am quiet, a lover of peace, a simple man who tries to lead a simple, quiet life. Indeed, many is the time someone has said to me, "You're simple, aren't you?" and I had to agree that I was. No, that picture doesn't include me, nor was I standing downrange holding the target.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 09:43 PM

Yeah, I think we know---you like to use guns a lot.    Well, yippeee-ki-yay, cowboy. That is pure-dee rootin'-tootin'.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 06:54 PM

We got our own way of dealing with folks...scroll down just a tad and see.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 06:23 PM

Jackalope aren't nearly so hard on potatoes as you've been led to believe. They don't actually use the antlers for spearing 'taters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 04:48 PM

They've spread all over the West, becoming a pest. There's a bounty on each one taken, here in Bannock County. They interfere with the natural kneeding and breeding cycle of the Russetttaters.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 03:05 PM

Jackalope are native to Texas, LH.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 02:47 PM

Do you have the rare Giant Jackalope out your way, Rapaire? I hear that they are quite fearsome creatures.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 02:40 PM

Well, I do too. It's something I have in common with Chongo, I guess. That and the Tommy Gun, but I use mine for hunting rabbits. Just one of the rabbits out this way will feed a family of six for a whole winter.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 02:27 PM

LOL! That was a low blow, Amos. Nasty. No Christmas bananas for you this year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 02:20 PM

YEah. It is responsible for his life long depression. He goes off mirrors for weeks at a time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 02:01 PM

Good looks will get you far in life too. Chongo has always been well aware of that. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 09:30 AM

Top and bottom are especially uncertain. Up and Down will elude you. Strange will confuse and mislead you. But you can always count on Charm.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 09:24 AM

I'm not sure we can be sure. Ol' man Heisenberg (a surname which always reminds me of beer -- "Hey, barkeep! Gimme a Heisenberg." "I'm not sure we have any, but then again we might. It depends on how fast it flows outa the spigot.") could be getting his licks in.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Jul 08 - 12:47 AM

I think this is the answer to Gluon's pups.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 08 - 08:14 PM

Just don't walk oonto an asphlt parking lot.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jul 08 - 03:38 PM

Well, that might be fine back in the East, back where there's high humidity. Out here we're lucky to see 17% humidity, so when we finish we just leave it out for a while and stroll on about our business. Evaporation is quite rapid and it adds a drop of moisture to the air.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jul 08 - 03:08 PM

There's a way to avoid that "last drop" problem, Amos. What you have to do is stand there with your willy out and wait for about 15 to 20 minutes. The last drop will eventually evaporate. Problem solved.

You can, of course, speed up the process by blotting it out with some kleenex.

Or you can do what I do. Pack a battery-powered mini-hair dryer in a pack on your back. After having relieved yourself at the urinal you blot with kleenex, then blow off your willy vigorously with the hair dryer. This will result in the offending "last drop" being evaporated in jig time...figure considerably less than a minute. This is for men on the go, men whose time is valuable, men who cannot spare the delay of standing around for 15 to 20 minutes in a public (or private) washroom with their willy hanging out.


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