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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 25 Oct 07 - 01:20 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 01:14 PM
beardedbruce 25 Oct 07 - 01:07 PM
Little Hawk 25 Oct 07 - 12:29 PM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 11:50 AM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 09:34 AM
Rapparee 25 Oct 07 - 09:08 AM
Amos 25 Oct 07 - 07:44 AM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 11:13 PM
Acme 24 Oct 07 - 11:06 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 10:48 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 10:36 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 10:36 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 10:25 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 10:24 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 08:29 PM
Rustic Rebel 24 Oct 07 - 07:59 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 07:03 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 06:53 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 06:44 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 06:42 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 06:34 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 06:12 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 05:25 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 04:28 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 04:04 PM
Little Hawk 24 Oct 07 - 03:11 PM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 01:48 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 12:11 PM
MMario 24 Oct 07 - 12:06 PM
Amos 24 Oct 07 - 10:42 AM
Acme 24 Oct 07 - 10:41 AM
Rapparee 24 Oct 07 - 09:00 AM
MMario 24 Oct 07 - 08:55 AM
Amos 23 Oct 07 - 10:47 PM
Rapparee 23 Oct 07 - 10:41 PM
Amos 23 Oct 07 - 05:41 PM
Amos 23 Oct 07 - 01:29 PM
Amos 23 Oct 07 - 10:35 AM
Rapparee 23 Oct 07 - 09:18 AM
Acme 23 Oct 07 - 01:09 AM
Amos 22 Oct 07 - 10:05 PM
GUEST,freds 22 Oct 07 - 09:47 PM
Amos 22 Oct 07 - 09:27 PM
Acme 22 Oct 07 - 02:12 PM
Rapparee 22 Oct 07 - 11:31 AM
Amos 22 Oct 07 - 09:58 AM
Rapparee 22 Oct 07 - 09:29 AM
Acme 22 Oct 07 - 12:13 AM
Amos 22 Oct 07 - 12:09 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:20 PM

J. K. Rowling.

What a subtext!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:14 PM

It's foul, disgusting, perverted, degenerate, revolting, repugnant, loathsome, vile, scandalous, appalling, repellent, shocking, and abhorrent to everyone except those scum who revel in such things. You will never hear it sung anywhere outside of the Legion Hovel.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 01:07 PM

"Nah, I can't finish this on a family thread. "


PLEASE! We wait with bated ( and baited- I had sushi) breath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 12:29 PM

H.G. Wells.   W.H. Auden. The list goes on and on.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 11:50 AM

Lemme tell ya of a story 'bout a man named Zed,
Mellow Californian barely kept his family bed
Then one day he was out a-buyin' food
When out of the produce came a good-lookin' nude.

Girl, that is. A woman.

Next thing ya know ol' Zed's....

Nah, I can't finish this on a family thread.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 09:34 AM

Well, it's not that they were all named Roger. I said some folks. But it's a complicated world and the hunger for clarity can make a man want to erase his whole name and just call himself Zed.

There are other reasons, not least of which are Horatio, Dionysius, Dithyrambo, and Heracles, all names which end up getting one laughed off the playground.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 09:08 AM

H. P. Lovecraft and D. H. Lawrence were really named Roger? I had an uncle named Roger. Could they possibly be my Uncle Roger? H. P. and D. H. share a lot with my uncle besides the name "Roger" -- for example, they're all dead. Wow. The unwritten books: The Horror Over Innsmouth and Lovers...Lady Chatterly's Rats In The Walls....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 Oct 07 - 07:44 AM

Some folks are named Roger, and they yearn for simplicity. That's about all there is to it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 11:13 PM

H.P. Lovecraft went in for it in a big way too, perhaps even more so than D.H. Lawrence.

Say, what is this thing with authors that use 2 initials and their surname to identify themselves?

We oughta start a thread about that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 11:06 PM

D.H. Lawrence was particularly fond of that last word. Used it over and over in Women In Love.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:48 PM

Not to mention inchoate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:36 PM

innumerate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:36 PM

You forgot intangible, ineffable, and


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:25 PM

And completely unrogered, his poor ashes left unhauled, feeling impregnable, impenetrable, unbearable.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:24 PM

I dunno about Hendrix, but "Shane McBride" did...over and over and over and over and over and over until he finally believed it, even though he was and probably still is unswiven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 08:29 PM

That's true here as well. Everybody pretends to be quite "experienced" regardless of whether they are or not. They're afraid people will think they are losers. Some, sadly, have gone on pretending for so long that they finally got too old to do anything about the situation.

And there are others who have been acting "experienced" for so long that they have begun to believe their own stories!

Didn't Jimi Hendrix write something about that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 07:59 PM

I hear those virgins are fairly 'tight lipped' about certain aspects of their virgin-ity-ness.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 07:03 PM

Yes, but not if the 97 year old says "no"...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:53 PM

Even in Ontario it's legal to have sex with a 97 year old.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:44 PM

You are most welcome. I have often made the mistake of assuming that you were saying what you meant too, so you're forgiven.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:42 PM

Aha!! Thanks for clarifying that. Of course, I assumed you were saying what you meant. Thanks for the correction.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:34 PM

I meant legal to have sex with, you nong! ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 06:12 PM

Well, they gotta catch 'em first, and some of them old virgins swing a mighty mean cane.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 05:25 PM

Oh, and I am just positive there are teeming ranks of Correction Department employees of both genders lining up to serve in rectifying the thinking of these poor, misled souls...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 04:28 PM

Well, Amos, not in Idaho. It's a criminal offense here if you're still virgin, or even vergin' on virgin, after you reach the age of 97 years.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 04:04 PM

I don't think there is a legal age limit on virginity, Little Hawk. It runs from 0 to as old as you care to extend it.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 03:11 PM

Yeah...but you didn't have any virgins out there either until the Catholic Church threatened to permanently boycott Boise and issue a Papal Bull! You guys were facing complete excommunication. I understand that there are now at least 3 virgins of legal age in the greater Boise area. ;-)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 01:48 PM

We're probably going to go with fiberglass, or something other than metal -- but it WILL be Class A fire resistant!

Lots of folks around here don't have gutters -- with an average of 17 inches of precip of all forms per year gutters aren't often needed. Heck, the city didn't even have storm drains for a century, and then the EPA insisted.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 12:11 PM

I'm surprised they didn't put those alpine deflectors in when the installed the roof. I suppose you could go up and tack in some deflector strips.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 12:06 PM

gutters ain't gonna stop snow from sliding off a roof - they fill up too fast.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:42 AM

Well, see, it's this way, ole pal. If I don't cite a source, then the work is genuine creativity on my part. Unlike some folks I could mention.

And as I recall, citing sources is a recently learned skill on your part; it is bad form to brag about it until you've had a bit more experience...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 10:41 AM

Hey, Rap, when I called Capital One today to get them to lower the rate on my credit card we got talking about expenses and I mentioned needing a new roof. She said she put a new metal roof on her house (that has already had snow on it, she's just north of you, apparently) and now every time they slam the door the snow on the roof slides off. If someone is near that eve they get snow on their heads or down their necks.

Don't Idaho folks believe in gutters? Or does this happen just at her house?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 09:00 AM

I cite MY sources, Amos.

Unlike some I could mention....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 24 Oct 07 - 08:55 AM

Arise! Arise, Mother, from the gloam
As Aphrodite did arise from foam
And like unto the sea-girt wave
About thy feet BS replete



J.J.J.Smythe, excerpt from 'Shite Happens with Classical References'
manuscript from the personal collection of
O.M. River, Jackson, Mississippi


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 10:47 PM

Wow, IDaho -- that sounds almost GEN-yewine!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 10:41 PM

There ain't no jive to shuck, my man
Cuz the Hovel's under a Health Dept ban.
Seems the grease was thick and the soap was thin
And Sam 'n' Ella wuz movin' in.
Toe Main and Cryptosporidium too,
Ol' E. Coli and quite a few
Other fellers who'd make you sick
So the Health Dept shut the place up quick.
Now all the guys 'n' gals are lost,
Cuz the taverns don't sell booze at cost
Like the Hovel does to the Legion folk
(Or give it away if they come in broke).
They're wanderin' around corruptin' youth,
Sellin' dirty postcards at a church fair booth,
Startin' fights and kickin' ass,
Whistlin' at a handsome lad or lass.
Oh! what will the ree-sult be
If the Hovel is not soon set free
Of the Health Department's awful ban
So the girls and boys can once again
Cavort and gambol as they did of yore,
And drink and lie and sleep and snore?

      -- Prudence Chastity Marx-Engels, Songs Of My Youthful                                       
         Desperate Days
(Midlothian, Idaho: Ft. Hall Press, 1847)
         (


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 05:41 PM

I never dreamed that I would strive
Even if I were the last man alive
To write 20, rwo-seven-five.
But someone has to shuck this jive!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 01:29 PM

I didn't mention this but Wild Animal Park reports they have safely evacuated all their large animals. This is an organizational miracle all by itself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 10:35 AM

So far ourneck of the woods which is just by the coast inside the La Jolla curve is in the safe zone; the main Witch Creek fire is no less risky than t was, no more contained. It will get better today -- the Feds are sending in Big Momma water-bombers this morning.

Over 300,000 people in this county are living in football stadiums, churches, and huigh-school parking lots. The entire county has become a social experiment in Mutual Support, and it is an experiment that is succeeding.

Although the fire-storm is worse than the famous Cedars fire of five yearts ago, the death toll has stayed at one this time, largely because of better communication, coordination, and a more coperative attitude of folks told to move out.

70,000 acres in the south region have been burned; 100,000 in the wilds north and east of here.

The key for us is the wind holding and not veering around too far northerly.

I've gone to work, but am keeping the public data stream on in case anything changes.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 09:18 AM

How are things today, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Oct 07 - 01:09 AM

Amos, you take it easy out there. Rescue the instruments only if they come when you call. Any banjo that hides under the bed, its a gonner if a human has to risk their life to find the foolish thing. OKAY?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 10:05 PM

Save yourself the cost of facial surgery, freds, and just look in a mirror and kiss it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freds
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 09:47 PM

If there is anything we can do to help just let us know because there is a plentiful store of protein and genetic material in the place you call San Diego. We will be happy to assist Amos in escaping and will be happy to probe his every opening for an opportunity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 09:27 PM

Between out of town troops and borrowed choppers and planes finally being able to make air drops, we may be about to turn this around. I am feeling more confident about getting through this unscathed. Morning will tell--the air drops stop at darkness except for one chopper which has infrared equipment.

The ground forces will probably dance all night.


Fingers crossed and 'bated breath.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 02:12 PM

Rainy day today here in North Texas. It shoulda' slid west and visited Amos before coming through here. We've had more than enough precip this year.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 11:31 AM

I thought you'd written "giraffes AND large eyelashes" and I thought perhaps it was also a refuge for...well, never mind.

I hope that the animals are okay. And if this was human started, I hope that the human is NOT okay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 09:58 AM

Oh, the humanity...I am worried about Wild Animal Park, a huge rolling environment housing all kinds of beautiful critturs, including giraffes with huge eyelashes. Fire within three miles. Thanks for your profound charity in offering the LEgionairre's hovel to refugees, Rapaire. You will be justly rewarded in the hereafter, if you survive.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 09:29 AM

Amos, did I mention that I've recently acquired an interest in "Cowboy Shooting" and that I now own a .357 magnum revolver and a .30-30 rifle? Unlike California, out here in the Wild West we tolerate guests with pets, but cell phones make great targets. Louie, who lives across the street, can shoot a cell phone out of an ear and hardly ever hits flesh and/or bone anymore (he shoots a .454 Casull because he's afraid of grizzlies in his backyard).

The Legion Hovel has more parking space, so I suggest that your neighbors put up there. There's also more beer, etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 12:13 AM

I have plenty of driveway for all of those vehicles also. My son has been paying attention to the length of the drive because he has the task of digging a wide swath of grass off of a large crack (seam) up the right side of the driveway. The grass has captured enough dirt to create it's own little spread-out ecosystem, all anchored down the middle by roots in the crevice. So by digging and prying and pulling he has been clearing his way down the drive. There are five large concrete slabs and he has finished two of them and had the third all ready to go (pulled up the sides but didn't cut off the roots) when he got tired and found more blisters. I was able to knock most of that one out with the string trimmer, but the last two are too much for the trimmer. They must come out by shovel.

My neighbors put in a pretty brick drive last month, then the city paved the street. So I told my son that we need to do our part and do a little road work. I am getting an unusually prompt reaction to the request for his help, because we have An Arrangement. I owe him $60 for some of his toys I sold on eBay a few weeks ago. He wants to buy a game that comes out next week (Guitar Hero III) that will come to almost $100 with tax. That $40 he needs is being earned by the hour with this work in the drive. I figure by next Friday when the game arrives (he reserved a copy) the drive will be completed.

MOM didn't raise no stupid children!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Oct 07 - 12:09 AM

That's real good Rapaire, because I have given your address to a bunch of nervous neighbors who don't know where they would go if they had to evacuate. I tell 'em just show up and I will be there to coordinate things for them, but I may not be able to get up that far, as I have family in Arizona. So please be on the lookout for them. You'll be able to recognize them by all the house-pets in their cars, and they'll be talking on cellphones as they pull in.


A


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