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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 11 Jul 07 - 08:49 AM
JennyO 10 Jul 07 - 11:15 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 07 - 11:05 PM
Acme 10 Jul 07 - 03:45 PM
Amos 10 Jul 07 - 12:40 PM
MMario 10 Jul 07 - 12:31 PM
Amos 10 Jul 07 - 12:29 PM
MMario 10 Jul 07 - 12:26 PM
Rapparee 10 Jul 07 - 12:14 PM
Amos 10 Jul 07 - 12:13 PM
MMario 10 Jul 07 - 12:03 PM
Amos 10 Jul 07 - 12:01 PM
MMario 10 Jul 07 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 10 Jul 07 - 11:23 AM
Rapparee 10 Jul 07 - 11:22 AM
Acme 10 Jul 07 - 11:21 AM
beardedbruce 10 Jul 07 - 11:15 AM
beardedbruce 10 Jul 07 - 11:13 AM
MMario 10 Jul 07 - 11:09 AM
Amos 10 Jul 07 - 11:04 AM
beardedbruce 10 Jul 07 - 10:30 AM
MMario 10 Jul 07 - 10:23 AM
JennyO 10 Jul 07 - 10:11 AM
Amos 10 Jul 07 - 10:08 AM
Rapparee 10 Jul 07 - 08:58 AM
Amos 10 Jul 07 - 08:33 AM
Rapparee 09 Jul 07 - 09:22 PM
Acme 09 Jul 07 - 08:35 PM
Acme 09 Jul 07 - 04:20 PM
Amos 09 Jul 07 - 12:45 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 07 - 12:30 PM
Amos 09 Jul 07 - 12:16 PM
Amos 09 Jul 07 - 12:03 PM
Rapparee 09 Jul 07 - 09:17 AM
Amos 09 Jul 07 - 01:10 AM
Acme 09 Jul 07 - 12:13 AM
JennyO 08 Jul 07 - 11:54 PM
Acme 08 Jul 07 - 11:52 PM
GUEST,Rustic Rebel 08 Jul 07 - 11:31 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 07 - 10:54 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 07 - 06:43 PM
Acme 08 Jul 07 - 06:37 PM
Amos 08 Jul 07 - 02:11 PM
Rapparee 08 Jul 07 - 11:49 AM
Acme 08 Jul 07 - 11:31 AM
Acme 08 Jul 07 - 01:25 AM
JennyO 07 Jul 07 - 11:40 PM
Rapparee 07 Jul 07 - 11:00 PM
Amos 07 Jul 07 - 10:45 PM
Rapparee 07 Jul 07 - 10:21 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jul 07 - 08:49 AM

Yes, it does. And for other things as well. Say, for example, you just want a "drop of tea." This handy-dandy little table (and the formula you can derive from it) will let you find immediately how much that drop is. It gives a new meaning to "let's just nip in for a drop" as well as to the phrases "a drop of the cure," "at the drop of a hat," and "drop in anytime." You will see a whole new world opening up as you decide to drop a subject or a discussion or even someone from your holiday mailing list.

In fact, this little table may hold the entire key to the World Peace.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:15 PM

Does this work for curtains? If I want an 8 ft drop, do I have to put 14 stones in them? Might make them a bit heavy when I pull them back. Lumpy too. Not one or two, but fourteen.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:05 PM

Now, here's a little bit of info you don't find around every day. But you never know when you might need this data. This is the table used by British hangmen to determine the "long drop"; a strong, thick rope is assumed.

Hanging drop (assuming thick strong rope):

Weight                                 Drop

14 stone (196 lbs.)                   8 ft. 0 in.
13 1/2 stone (189 lbs.)                8 ft. 2 in.
13 stone (182 lbs.)                   8 ft. 4 in.
12 1/2 stone (175 lbs.)                8 ft. 6 in.
12 stone (168 lbs.)                   8 ft. 8 in.
11 1/2 stone (161 lbs.)                8 ft. 10 in.
11 stone (154 lbs.)                   9 ft. 0 in.
10 1/2 stone (147 lbs.)                9 ft. 2 in.
10 stone (140 lbs.)                   9 ft. 4 in.
9 1/2 stone (133 lbs.)                9 ft. 6 in.
9 stone (126 lbs.)                     9 ft. 8 in.
8 1/2 stone (119 lbs.)                9 ft. 10 in.
8 stone (112 lbs.)                     10 ft. 0 in


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 03:45 PM

It probably slipped off his his mother's refridgerator larder and was hidden under a cabinet all of this time. Lucky you! Now let's see you sell it on eBay.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 12:40 PM

There is one additional legible line below the smear, which reads, "Bye W. Shxper, age 12 -- Milady Rodmanners' Thirde Year Classe"

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 12:31 PM

I see you got ahold of a final draft of his "Romeo - the early years"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 12:29 PM

Mercutio: Come sir, we must do away with all these broadsides.

Benvolio: What, cuz? The broad sides of the barns?

MErcutio: There is no hit there, good cuz.

Benvolio: Then, sir, the sides of all the broads? And what of the mewling infants whom wouldst deprive thereby?

Mercutio: The side of a broad is a better home than any broadsided barn.

Benvolio: Aye, but no barn gives out a bairn, and every broadsided broad will do at the drop of a ball.

MErcutio: Drop your balls, not, cuz, but leave your bales for the barn.

Benvolio: Ah, sir, 'twas a baleful riposte. It will undo my wires all.

Mercutio: Better than your own undoing of many a broad's wires, thou deft varlet.

(The balance of this page is obscured by an unidentifiable thick brown smear...)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 12:26 PM

Do you mean Willy the Shakes when you say "the Bard"? If so, the skinflint **charges** for his trash! and cuts each sheet in 8ths! (the ink he uses runs, anyway)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 12:14 PM

Broadsides? I wouldn't think they'd be much wanted. Cannonballs flying all over, grapeshot, masts and rigging falling....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 12:13 PM

To think the immortal pennings of the Bard, the first draft rich with crossed out brilliance, could end up serving such a sorry secondary purpose!! I weep.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 12:03 PM

About those broadsides, the reason they are in high demand? Well, let us just say they are softer then leaves.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 12:01 PM

I think I know where he reincarnated this time.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:27 AM

Marlowe! My god, the man can DRINK! And He is hysterically funnny.

but he does tend to blather on about himself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:23 AM

One boulder? Or two?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:22 AM

I'll settle for the stuff that ended up in the trash of Bill Shakespeare, Chris Marlowe, and their acquaintances and friends. Just the trash, just the trash....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:21 AM

Bring back a few British broadsides next time, MMario. If you can find any--they were in high demand, but I understand pedlars could be found to be distributing them. Roll them, don't fold them. Thanks!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:15 AM

MMario, MMario...

There is quite a difference between the crass comercial Ode and the sweet dulcet tones of the heartfelt Sonnet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:13 AM

A small fund, with the mandate to buy first editions would be adaquate. They could spend the surplus ( over the years) to finance a few of the people who died young due to lack of money. Say, a good doctor for Keats.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:09 AM

The sonnet business is pretty cut-throat. And they don't command that big a price - too many would be poets running around trying to cadge drinks.

Though I wish I'd gotten the text of one this weekend - he called it "Clap for my Sister; An Ode to Clymidia"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 11:04 AM

Just have him invest the money for you, Bruce. Maybe buy a few acres on Manhattan, or even just outside then-London, and place them in perpetual trust for you. Maybe add a strongbox of mint-condition gold coins, manuscripts from the time, priceless stuff like that. When you come to collect, you'll be set for life.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 10:30 AM

MMario,

If I send you my sonnets, and you took them back to 1585, you could spread them around BEFORE Shakespeare even wrote his! They actually paid money for poetry back then- I see a chance to turn a hobby into income!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 10:23 AM

Hello again Mom!

y'know, time travel was a lot easaier 16 years ago. Even 10 years ago.


these days I find the round trip a bit exhausting. But I made it to 1585 and back. I'm not sure all my brain cells did, so If gluon shows up with one or two, see if you can get her to bring them to me, allright?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 10:11 AM

I had home-made apple pie for dissert tonight. It was just.....wonderful!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 10:08 AM

Stop maundering, faire friende. Dissert on something, it would only be just.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 08:58 AM

One boulder or two? One boulder or two? Hmmmmmmmmm....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jul 07 - 08:33 AM

One could argue that Colorado is a one Boulder state. But one would be missing the forest for the trees.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 09:22 PM

One boulder or two? That is the question.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 08:35 PM

As do bloggers understand that this is behind the times, though the blogger still isn't apparently a librarian. You have to drop down to the remarks by ACTUAL librarians to get some balance.

http://annoyedlibrarian.blogspot.com/2007/07/take-hip-librarians-please.html


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 04:20 PM

Thanks for that citation. I forwarded it to the library staff. (That is a lot of stereotyped stuff for any normal library staff to wade through, but I'm sure they'll understand that the New York Times is a bit behind the times.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 12:45 PM

SOrry, I forgot about your recent trip to Egypt.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 12:30 PM

...and you've grown too old to enjoy it?

Wherever did you get that idea about me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 12:16 PM

The NY Times reports that Rapaire's dreams and fantasies are being realized, if too late for him...a whole generation of hip, bright, technosavvy meterosexual librarians is in bloom. Don't you hate it when your best and brightest concepts finally come to fruition, and you've grown too old to enjoy it? Sigh. I do.

Story here.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 12:03 PM

Thanks to nano technology and supermicroscopy, even the most diligent filer can be caught with bad numbers and hounded by the Feds. Of course, some of the Feds insist on harassing even the most diligent non-filers and catching their bad numbers, too, so ya can't win. Wodda racket!! No wonder Cheney is racking up bigger crime hits than the Mafia these days.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 09:17 AM

Geez, I thought you guys woulda heard about filing off the serial numbers. So I had these numbers, see? And I was sanding off the serial numbers so they couldn't be identified by the Mathematikstaatspolizei.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 01:10 AM

Rapaire's sainted mother told him often, "Always remember, my boy, your numbers can never be too smooth,"   He has taken this, out of all her advices, to heart, for reasons shrouded in mystery.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jul 07 - 12:13 AM

I bet he's making a numbers racket while he does it, but I bet it is all for a numbers game.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 11:54 PM

Oh goody - numbers for all! 7/7/07/7:00 pm is pretty impressive!

Rapaire, why are you sanding your numbers? Are they a bit rough around the edges?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 11:52 PM

Wow! If I'd been paying attention, I'd have waited seven minutes and called coup fourré! Thanks for pointing that out. Hmmm. Guess I'd better go see what the numbers were on my 7/7/07 lotto ticket. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rustic Rebel
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 11:31 PM

Talking numbers Stilly- You posted on 7/7/07/7:00 pm. That's a counterbalance for your 866666 thing right?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 10:54 PM

I'm sanding numbers.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 06:43 PM

Drown the skeeters. Simple. We're tryin' ta burn ours out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 06:37 PM

Hey, MOM, didja notice how good the lawn looks? I mowed the front yesterday and the back today and even did the trimming. I also gave the dogs each a bath. Time to shape up around here, no more of this everything looking and smelling like the edge of a swamp.

Fars? What fars wouldja be talkin' about? We're flooded around here, swarms of skeeters everwhere.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 02:11 PM

They will be delivered to their local high school to start the year swathed in white bandages, if that's any indication...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 11:49 AM

The big un' is about 70 miles west. Nothing burning in the immediate area at the moment -- some young adults(?) decided to have a campfire the other night and it burned up a shed and 25 acres of the folks' farm. It's out, and I assume that mom and dad are not pleased....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 11:31 AM

Wake up MOM! It's a nice day out there!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jul 07 - 01:25 AM

It used to drive me nuts to hear about all of the wildfires that I wasn't out fighting. For years. I seem to have gotten over most of that finally. I put myself through my undergraduate years working for the Forest Service and raking in the overtime and hazardous duty pay and per diem and holiday double time, etc.

My pickup experienced an interesting number this evening. 86666. Not quite a pinwheel, but certainly round!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 11:40 PM

Yikes! That big fire sounds dangerous. I hope it isn't coming your way, Rapaire. How close is it?

It's hard to imagine heat and fires at the moment here in Oz where it's cold, damp and wintery, but we certainly have our share of bushfires in summer.

Jenny (sending damp wintery thoughts to those fires).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 11:00 PM

Sorry, the big fire is WEST of us.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 10:45 PM

Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in stress.
From what I 've tasted of desire,
I'd say by fire;
But more than stress,
My second guess
Is by BS.

Robert Hail Noe
Memories of Paths Not Known
Gullible and Smellable, Brattleboro, 1967


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jul 07 - 10:21 PM

At the moment, Idaho has 11 new fires burning 31,750 acres. Only one is contained. One, 15,000+ acres, is east of here and another, 515 acres, is north and east.


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