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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 03 Jul 07 - 01:45 AM
JennyO 03 Jul 07 - 01:20 AM
Acme 03 Jul 07 - 12:19 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 10:11 PM
GUEST,Amos 02 Jul 07 - 08:27 PM
JennyO 02 Jul 07 - 07:56 PM
beardedbruce 02 Jul 07 - 04:17 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 04:14 PM
beardedbruce 02 Jul 07 - 04:09 PM
beardedbruce 02 Jul 07 - 04:07 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 04:02 PM
Acme 02 Jul 07 - 03:51 PM
beardedbruce 02 Jul 07 - 01:32 PM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 01:31 PM
MMario 02 Jul 07 - 12:40 PM
Acme 02 Jul 07 - 12:36 PM
JennyO 02 Jul 07 - 11:22 AM
MMario 02 Jul 07 - 11:12 AM
SINSULL 02 Jul 07 - 11:10 AM
MMario 02 Jul 07 - 10:37 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:47 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:45 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:40 AM
Rapparee 02 Jul 07 - 09:35 AM
JennyO 02 Jul 07 - 01:36 AM
JennyO 02 Jul 07 - 01:28 AM
Acme 01 Jul 07 - 11:16 PM
Bill D 01 Jul 07 - 11:05 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 07 - 09:29 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 08:24 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 07 - 06:51 PM
Bill D 01 Jul 07 - 06:26 PM
Rapparee 01 Jul 07 - 04:41 PM
Bill D 01 Jul 07 - 01:36 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:46 PM
John MacKenzie 01 Jul 07 - 12:32 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:20 PM
John MacKenzie 01 Jul 07 - 12:20 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 12:09 PM
Acme 01 Jul 07 - 12:05 PM
JennyO 01 Jul 07 - 11:46 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 01:45 AM

I'm sorry, but I really can't bring myself to describe it. Suffice to say that it involves several swans, chicken fat, several members of the human sexes, fresh raw liver, a couple of live snakes, several pounds of melted chocolate, five or six largish pieces of quartzite, a copy of the original unexpurgated Kama Sutra, several white mice, and a room in a seedy motel that has one of those vibrating beds.

Beyond that I must draw the veils of Discretion and Good Taste.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 01:20 AM

Well at least your water stays on the ground, where it's supposed to, instead of flying off into space.

I see you have quite a nice number there SRS - 18118 - not quite symmetrical, but nice all the same.

an indescribably filthy sexual practice

Does it make their balls fall off?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 03 Jul 07 - 12:19 AM

I may sound nuts to say it, but I kinda wish it would get hot here again. It rained three times today, an inch each time. It has rained every day for the last week, and several times a week for the last month. We're a bit waterlogged right now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 10:11 PM

San Jose spelled backwards is esoJ naS, which are a couple of extremely obscene words describing an indescribably filthy sexual practice in the language of the Omtig people of Great Eastern Desert of South Ohadi land.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Amos
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 08:27 PM

Reminds me of some folkies I have not yet met but who have that problem, too.

It is very hot today in San Jose, where I am now, Mom. I am taking it slow and easy for the first time in years, and I must say it is a very bizarre experience, like walking around underwater.

And I have to say I am thrilled at all the support Mom is getting. A fine head of steam, indeed.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 07:56 PM

SRS, you're quite right that we don't need a bathmat to keep water off the floor. It's tacked to the ceiling to keep water off the ceiling!

The little boys are a problem though - I've got one here right now - my grandson Max. He's very cute but he wants to take over my computer and play computer games. Those upside down games are very strange - particularly the one with the balls that keep falling off.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 04:17 PM

Or by playying it upside-down... I should send it to Australia!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 04:14 PM

You can play it right-handed by turning the strings toward you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 04:09 PM

Speaking of which, are there any left-handed banjo players out there? I picked up a left-handed 5 string...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 04:07 PM

And many of the inhabitants play BANJOS!!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 04:02 PM

Well, that, and everyone there has to walk on their hands and type with their toes. Also, their feet smell and their noses run due to gradual adaptation to being upside down all the time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 03:51 PM

When little boys pee and miss the toilet they hit the ceiling instead of the floor.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 01:32 PM

Because it rains on the bottoms of one's feet?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 01:31 PM

That's why it was used as a prison colony.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 12:40 PM

Didn't they teach you in grammer schol about the hydrological cycle? How in the Southern hemisphere water seeps out of the earth and falls into the sky, thus replenishing the clouds?

That's why so much of Australia is desert.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 12:36 PM

Hmmm. Does that mean you don't need a bathmat to keep water off the floor?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 11:22 AM

All the pinwheels in Australia are upside down and hence will not work

Well, I never in my life heard such BS! Any fule kno that pinwheel numbers are the same up or down.

And filling bathtubs is easy. We have them bolted to the ceiling. So there.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 11:12 AM

high pressure systems.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 11:10 AM

Congratulations to the family, MM.

Funny - Austrailan toilets flush down not up. Why is that?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 10:37 AM

well mom, the nephew is a deacon. it's official. it only took him seven years to accomplish what is now an 18 month process. My great-niece was really tired and I rocked her to sleep at the back of the church - so when I went to present rabbit's stole at the appropriate time rowan was snoring on my shoulder. it was fun trying to put the stole on him one handed!

but the "official" photographer took a bunch of pictures of Rowan as well - so she is now immortalized in the annals of the Episcopal church.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:47 AM

in orbit INSIDE the globe.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM

and it was successfully placed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM

back in the sixties


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:46 AM

tried to launch a satellite


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:45 AM

In fact, Australia


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:40 AM

It's a little-known fact, but there isn't any hydro power in Australia because the water all flows uphill. It's pure hell trying to fill a bathtub.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 09:35 AM

All the pinwheels in Australia are upside down and hence will not work.

No Bill, there wasn't anything in that list about 18181. That's because it was all that was left to my mother (apart from the kids, of course) when he died. She kept it close to her heart, but she'd let us see it when we brought dandelions and other flowers that children pick to put on his grave. It was, she said, "their number" just as they considered "Stardust" as "their song."

Ah, I remember those days so well...our grubby chubby little hands clutching wild violets and dandelion flowers in aluminum foil "vases"...the tears...the prayers said around the grave as we knelt on the scabby knees of children...my mother gathering us around and saying "Here is the Family Number, passed down from generation to generation. Someday I will pass it on to the oldest son as it was passed on to your father by his mother."

And we children took the message to heart, and even though my brothers, tried their best to succeed me as the oldest son, I survived and Mom passed that number on to me with her dying breath.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 01:36 AM

By the way, I don't believe that nonsense about 18091 for a moment. Being off balance like that would make my pinwheel all wobbly. Quite happy with what I've got, thank you - until the next one, that is.

*cue the violins*

I am very poor and own nothing of any monetary value, so I intend to leave my collection of pinwheel numbers to my children when I die. SURELY nobody would deprive my poor children of their inheritance!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 02 Jul 07 - 01:28 AM

Rapaire, it sounds like living at your place must have been a real "blast". Your mother was obviously a saint!

Actually, I do know a little bit of what she would have gone through. I wasn't widowed, but my husband left, leaving behind a trail of unpaid bills and two traumatised children. They were a bright bunch too. My son's hobby was pulling apart anything with workings (he's a tech person now, so he followed it through) and one of my daughter's favourite things to do was to sit on the garage roof looking for aliens when she wasn't getting herself into trouble. Money was always short (no support) but we got through somehow.

I have one grandson, Max. He's been keeping me company today. He'll be 4 in a couple of weeks, and is already starting to find his way around the computer pretty well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 11:16 PM

18091 weighs almost as much as 18081. In fact, since they "balance" tires in such a way to have the weight a little off-center so it rolls properly, perhaps you should have aimed at it instead.


18091


Wheeeee!!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 11:05 PM

....hmmm...admirable woman. But I see no evidence that she posted "Go for 18181." as part of that list....and whispered in your ear on her deathbed? HAH! I'll bet she said something like, "Get that aluminum dust and gelignite out of my jello!"

I have the UTMOST respect for hard-working, penurious widows, but VERY little for rapacious librarians who entreat with prevarication.


("I wonder what I meant by THAT.", he said.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 09:29 PM

In all seriousness, my "poor dear sainted mother" raised four kids alone (she was a widow for 31 years, I ain't lying!) on social security survivors' benefits and a pittance from the Veterans' Administration. The total was never more than US $120.00 per month. She saw all of us get at least an undergraduate degree and three sons serve and return from military service at the same time -- two went to 'Nam and one to Korea. She saw all three sons get married, and she was able to bounce two grandsons on her knees before she died.

I sorta suspect it wasn't easy, what with four kids with IQs in the upper brackets and an insatiable curiousity about...things. Like our Three Big Rules (all promulgated ex post facto):

1. You will not make explosives or fireworks in the house, including the basement.

2. You will not make lachymators* or any other war gases in the house, including the basement.

3. If you're going to experiment with electricity, don't blow the circuit breakers.

For a while these were literally posted, as written above, in the kitchen.




*Tear gas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 08:24 PM

..or little johnnie howard even.

Rapaire, have you no scruples? Fancy using your poor dear sainted mother to try and gain our sympathy! For shame, man.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 06:51 PM

You wouldn't steal the dying wish of a poor widow to her eldest son, would you? The only thing she had to give him, apart from a pile of bills? Only a blackguard and villan would do such a foul, disgusting, deed! Someone like George W. Bush or Snidely Whiplash.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 06:26 PM

sure, Rap...sure...*evil grin*


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 04:41 PM

Okay, you all can have whatever numbers you want. But I get 18181, okay? That number is very important to me, for it was my late, beloved mother's number. She left it to me in her will; in fact, apart from a few debts that was ALL she had to leave me. I will never forget leaning over to kiss her one last time, tears streaming down my face and my body wracked with sobs, and she whispered, with her dying breath, "Remember the number...it's...yours...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bill D
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 01:36 PM

coises, foiled again....just wait till #80808!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:46 PM

That too, Giok.

Sorry Mom for that undignified scramble towards my pinwheel number - very uncouth I know, but I did have dibs on it, and it's very late - I need to go to bed, and there are unscrupulous scoundrels like Giok waiting in the wings that would be only too happy to steal it. You know how it is.

I promise to be more couth in future







































until the next pinwheel comes along - heh heh!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:32 PM

Palindromic even


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:20 PM

***PINWHEEL NUMBER 18081***


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:20 PM

fuggedaboutit Jenny
G.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM

until I remember it


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM

I won't be able to get to sleep


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:19 PM

and if I don't remember it,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM

that I've forgotten something


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM

I have this nagging feeling


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:18 PM

Trouble is...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:09 PM

Thanks SRS, I'll have a look tomorrow. It's rather late here and I should be in bed.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 12:05 PM

Pyrethrum has problems also.

http://www.dirtdoctor.com

This site has a lot about organic remedies. There is a membership area but a lot of information is in the public area. He uses a combination of fertilization (healthy plants are less susceptible to bugs and disease), repellents (things like garlic and hot pepper tea) and organic stuff to kill or trap (orange oil, nematodes, vinegar, BT, etc., depending on the pest).

Back to our regular BS. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 01 Jul 07 - 11:46 AM

I suppose it's worth a try, while they are very young, but they are tough little buggers, and the milder pyrethrum sprays don't work on them. What is orange oil supposed to kill? Any other suggestions?


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