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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 12 Jun 07 - 10:52 AM
Rapparee 12 Jun 07 - 09:52 AM
MMario 12 Jun 07 - 09:17 AM
Acme 12 Jun 07 - 12:17 AM
Acme 11 Jun 07 - 09:43 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 07 - 02:59 PM
Amos 11 Jun 07 - 02:45 PM
Acme 11 Jun 07 - 01:05 PM
Rapparee 11 Jun 07 - 12:09 PM
Acme 11 Jun 07 - 11:58 AM
Amos 11 Jun 07 - 11:19 AM
Acme 11 Jun 07 - 10:04 AM
Rapparee 11 Jun 07 - 09:54 AM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 11:15 PM
Amos 10 Jun 07 - 08:25 PM
Acme 10 Jun 07 - 03:59 PM
Acme 10 Jun 07 - 03:56 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 02:33 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 02:32 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 02:31 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 02:31 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 02:06 PM
GUEST,MMario 10 Jun 07 - 12:03 PM
Rapparee 10 Jun 07 - 10:47 AM
Acme 10 Jun 07 - 02:40 AM
Rapparee 09 Jun 07 - 10:49 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 07 - 10:40 PM
Amos 09 Jun 07 - 09:28 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 07 - 05:35 PM
Acme 09 Jun 07 - 03:55 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 07 - 02:42 PM
Amos 09 Jun 07 - 01:18 PM
Little Hawk 09 Jun 07 - 11:56 AM
GUEST,MMario 09 Jun 07 - 11:38 AM
Amos 09 Jun 07 - 09:43 AM
Acme 09 Jun 07 - 12:37 AM
Amos 09 Jun 07 - 12:24 AM
Rapparee 08 Jun 07 - 12:39 PM
Amos 08 Jun 07 - 10:05 AM
Acme 08 Jun 07 - 09:48 AM
Acme 08 Jun 07 - 09:48 AM
Acme 08 Jun 07 - 09:28 AM
Rapparee 08 Jun 07 - 09:15 AM
Rapparee 07 Jun 07 - 03:13 PM
MMario 07 Jun 07 - 01:39 PM
beardedbruce 07 Jun 07 - 01:34 PM
Rapparee 07 Jun 07 - 12:30 PM
Amos 07 Jun 07 - 10:23 AM
Acme 06 Jun 07 - 11:56 PM
Rustic Rebel 06 Jun 07 - 11:21 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 10:52 AM

I am sure the mallows of the world -- the fen mallows, the bog mallows, the hill mallows, the valley mallows, the river mallows, and the marsh mallows -- will now see you as the Great Anti-Mallow and will pass the word to hinder you at every opportunity. You will never again be accepted as a mallow fellow. Not even yallow mallows will talk to you, cuz they're such mellow mallows. Best to let the subject lie fallow, fellow, for mallows will follow and fill your fate with failure and falling.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 09:52 AM

A stop at a nursery last evening elicited the answer: what I am try to eradicate is mallow. The nursery has a spray that will kill it quite dead -- and also the surrounding flowers, grass, shrubs, and vegetables.

Shucks, I've got some extended release Round-up that'll do that AND make the ground fallow for three months thereafter. (I use it on the golf course fence line and on the stuff that comes up in the cracks in the driveway. You can also use it to write stuff on your neighbor's lawn if you don't like your neighbor, but I wouldn't know about things like that.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 09:17 AM

Treacle trickle?

The pink thingies do sound as if they might be one of the wild geraniums.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 12:17 AM

I think MOM got stuck in a little of BWLs treacle trickle.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 09:43 PM

Mom, what are you doing, rolling around laughing down here in the cellar with all of the gardening implements?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 02:59 PM

Amos, if you'll send me your email address I'll forward to you all of the email I receive about making your minute pink trowel thingy larger, thicker, last longer, and in general endow you with a better life, approved loans, and cheap pharmaceuticals.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 02:45 PM

So I suppose making wise cracks about someone's minute pink trowel thingy would be out of the question?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 01:05 PM

Oh, good. Maybe it will compete with and eradicate the Virginia creeper I think I finally dislodged from over and around my office window. What that stuff does to wood and mortar. . . oy.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 12:09 PM

'Sokay. I got 'em out of the garbage and have sent them to SRS because I know she can use the money. No, don't bother to thank me because I do it because I like doing good for others.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:58 AM

Pronounced "my-NUTE" as in "my-NUTE waltz" by Chopin and "my-NUTE" as in my paycheck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 11:19 AM

I don't think he's going to fall for becomeing a "Pink Minute Man", ready and willing to grab his trowel and turn out at any hour to defend the world against the overbearing turf-landers..."Muskets? Oh, no, silly, you must be thinking of the OTHER Minute People. We're the geranium minute people. We use garden tools..."



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 10:04 AM

No, Amos, not all of what Rapaire described. Just your simple opportunist.

Rapaire, I do believe that is the rare endangered protected cancer-curing "Minute Pink" geranium. The root has many told and dreamed-of properties, and there is a bounty of $50,000 an ounce on the plant.

I sure hope you can catch the garbage truck this morning. . .


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 09:54 AM

Refresh, cher madre.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 11:15 PM

Ah, you youngsters are just jealous of my talents.

I spent the day pulling weeds and planting flowers, making the planet a little more beautiful. English daisies, penstemon, black-eyed susans, shasta daisies, salvia, Icelandic poppies, sweet William -- yes, I have done my part to bring beauty.

Does anyone know what sort of weed produces leaves that look like small geranium leaves, has tiny pink flowers, and a root that can be 18" deep? I always like to know the name of what I'm killing.

And I took a dead vole out of the yard today after putting out poison yestereve. And I'll keep poisoning the little b*st*rds, because the city won't let me shoot 'em.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 08:25 PM

Stilly:

Arte you thereby admitting those traits in yourself? Cunning, deviousness, and so on? Especially as Rapaire defines them?

He's an Olympian in such things, so be careful.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 03:59 PM

Busy busy weekend, muggy as what MMario describes, so one must pace oneself. Come indoors to do a task for a while in order to cool down, and have the sprinkler head set up for a cool down out back.

Been calling old friends to torque up the surprise element of next weekend's birthday party. Fun!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 03:56 PM

I will, though.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:33 PM

But I'm a swell guy and so I won't do that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:32 PM

I'd snatch seventeen-eighty-oh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:31 PM

Cunning and devious,


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:31 PM

Were I mean and naughty


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:06 PM

72 F, cloudy, 40% humidity here right now. Perfect weather for going out in the yard and working...or taking a nap first. Decision, decisions....

LH, compared to some things my relatives both near and far have done hinging the front of the barn was fairly mild. Unusual, true, but mild. After all, he could have built the thing the cellar. And his horse wasn't named "Jonah" on a whim.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 12:03 PM

Rap - we would never have guessed!

Beautiful Bride, handsome groom; and best of all, my brother cried as he walked his daughter down the aisle, and again at the father daughter dance.

still hot and humid - we're going to a botanical garden this afternoon and flying out tonight


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 10:47 AM

My grandfather once built a boat in the second floor of his garage/barn. It was too big to get down the steps, so he hinged the triangular end of the structure and let it down on the beam he used to use to bring up bales of hay. Then he locked the new doors down just in case he ever built another boat up there.

Yes, this is a true story. Sometimes people in my family do unusual things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 07 - 02:40 AM

Build a dog trot or dog run through the middle of the house, open to the outside on both ends. Have screen doors into both halves of the house. It's what they used to do down here in Tejas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 10:49 PM

Amos, I don't HAVE any closets that back onto an outside wall. Not a single one. I do have a couple of bathrooms that do -- would one of them work?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 10:40 PM

A true story. My wife told me this, so it must be true and besides, you can come look for yourself.

We were having the downstairs bathroom finished up so that it could be used in conjunction with the basement bedroom. When the remodelers lifted the suspended ceiling tiles they found a T-junction where the exhaust hose from the (former) dryer and the bathroom exhaust fan met the main exhaust duct (yes, yes, I know -- but this was a homemade job). Pat told them to just take it all out and the bathroom could exhaust into the hall when the door was opened (we don't use those washer and dryer connections). When they followed the main duct they found that a hole had been very neatly cut in the wall sheathing to accomodate it -- only behind the wall sheathing was a brick wall. The duct ended there, flat against the bricks.

The ductwork was removed and one of these days I'll close up the hole in the (kitchen) wall where the dryer vent was.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 09:28 PM

Rap[aire:

First cut a large hole, circular-like, or as near as is easy for you to do, in the upper part of the house. If you can't do it in the roof, try the back wall of a closet on the upstairs outer wall of the house. Then insert fan into hole, secure with duct tape and ten-penny nails, run extension cord to nearest outlet, and Bob's your stepfather-in-law-once-removed.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 05:35 PM

I really, really would like a whole-house fan like we had in Indiana, but we can't figure out how to work it into the existing house structure. But it sure was nice!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 03:55 PM

And they probably don't have a Hilton in Paris, Texas.

MMario, I hope that's a hotel room wherer you've adjusted the thermostat. If someone tried that here at the house I'd have to get a second mortgage to pay the electric bill.

This is the summer for ceiling fans, baby powder, cross-breezes and lots of iced tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 02:42 PM

When I was in Paris I never stayed at the Hilton. I stayed in some cheap little dive that offered such amenities as indoor plumbing and electricity. Actually, I don't usually stay at a Hilton in Paris, France or Paris, Missouri or anywhere else because I think they cost too much for what you get, unless it's a conference hotel or something. Ptui on Hiltons, even on their Head.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 01:18 PM

You would have to haul in the trash of the outside world, eh, Leedle Hack?

Ptui on Paris Hilton. I hpe someone ... no, I take it back. But not the ptui part. It comes straight from the ptuitary gland.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 11:56 AM

What? No gossiping about Paris Hilton here?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 11:38 AM

Hi MOM! I'm in Flouridiah! It's hot and it's humid and hot. we've got the thermostat in our room down to 55 though so were able to sleep in comfort. big Wedding this evening, spossed to be outdoors so hoping the thunderstorms predicted don't occur.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 09:43 AM

Would you be interestied in an All-American Cradle-Robbing Competition? As a prize?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 12:37 AM

And I'm not even close.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 07 - 12:24 AM

Well, Rapaire, I have given up trying to catch up to you.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 07 - 12:39 PM

Sixty! Ha! I spit on your sixty! Oops. Well, I guess when you get to be my age you're expected to drool a bit.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 07 - 10:05 AM

Wow, Stilly, that's a heap of luck, a passel, a crop, a ream, and a big slice. Just TONS of good fortune heaped upon your lucky, lucky head.

Dang!! Here I thought turning sixty was just some kind of bad dream I had once. Now I find others are doing it too!! Most disconcerting, I have to say. I am beginning to suspect there might be some kind of reality behind it. Damn....


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jun 07 - 09:48 AM

17777


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jun 07 - 09:48 AM

Hey, Mom, I have a lot to do this week coming up, what with preparations for the surprise birthday for the ex (60!) so I'll dip in quickly and grab all of those lucky number 7s.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jun 07 - 09:28 AM

That's what she gets for paying attention to Bearded Bruce. Be more subtle, Rap, put that garden hose down. Get her a clean towel and send her in for a shower.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 07 - 09:15 AM

Goodness, Mom! You're slumming again! Amos has warned you about that neighborhood, so you just come on back up. We'll have a nice glass of blackberry wine and...

YEEW!!! Mom, whatever have you been drinking? You smell like a sailor on a short shore leave drunk! Get back up there and I'll make some strong coffee.

Goodness!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 03:13 PM

Well, the brouhaha is over and we're all still alive. My linens are unsoiled, sort of, and as far as I know nobody except Crazy Gopher peed on his or her hanky. Crazy doesn't count because Crazy keeps Depends in business; it goes back to his youth when he was frightened by a politician who was kissing babies, which Crazy was at the time. He got the name Crazy Gopher from his work, which is gopher extermination. He drowns 'em, and the less said about his method the better. The name his parents gave him was (and this is true!) Roy Rogers And Trigger Lefkovitz; in grade school they called him "Crazy Geyser" because of the aforementioned incident with the politician. Nobody knows what they called him in high school because he was educated Elsewhere, but somebody once said that he'd heard from his best friend's cousin's second wife's mother that Crazy was given the name "Fresh Meat" when he was pushed through the door of the rec area.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 01:39 PM

It's the water in the pee that actually counteracts the chlorine; but why waste the water?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 01:34 PM

Rapaire,

That is a WWI method, determined in the trenches. Must have worked, since the ones who cam back swore by it.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 12:30 PM

Amos, just for you:

A E I O U and sometimes Y and sometimes W

A genuine vowel movement!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 07 - 10:23 AM

Wow! My First Vowel!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 11:56 PM

Wasn't that sweet? Amos, you lucky fellow, you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 06 Jun 07 - 11:21 PM

Ode to Amos

A

fin


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