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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Acme 23 Mar 07 - 12:09 AM
Amos 22 Mar 07 - 07:52 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 07 - 05:40 PM
Amos 22 Mar 07 - 05:28 PM
Rapparee 22 Mar 07 - 05:19 PM
Amos 22 Mar 07 - 11:04 AM
Amos 22 Mar 07 - 09:35 AM
Acme 22 Mar 07 - 02:17 AM
Rapparee 21 Mar 07 - 09:14 PM
Amos 21 Mar 07 - 08:52 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 07 - 08:48 PM
Amos 21 Mar 07 - 08:45 PM
Acme 21 Mar 07 - 06:15 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 07 - 06:05 PM
Acme 21 Mar 07 - 03:30 PM
Amos 21 Mar 07 - 03:29 PM
Rapparee 21 Mar 07 - 03:21 PM
Amos 21 Mar 07 - 11:33 AM
Acme 21 Mar 07 - 11:12 AM
Amos 20 Mar 07 - 11:56 PM
Acme 20 Mar 07 - 11:51 PM
Amos 20 Mar 07 - 09:25 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 07 - 08:48 PM
MMario 20 Mar 07 - 01:44 PM
Amos 20 Mar 07 - 01:27 PM
Acme 20 Mar 07 - 12:47 PM
Acme 20 Mar 07 - 12:46 PM
Kim C 20 Mar 07 - 12:35 PM
Rapparee 20 Mar 07 - 12:17 PM
Amos 20 Mar 07 - 12:10 PM
Amos 20 Mar 07 - 11:34 AM
Acme 20 Mar 07 - 09:59 AM
Amos 20 Mar 07 - 08:27 AM
Rapparee 20 Mar 07 - 08:21 AM
Amos 19 Mar 07 - 09:47 PM
Rapparee 19 Mar 07 - 09:42 PM
Amos 19 Mar 07 - 08:50 PM
Acme 19 Mar 07 - 07:25 PM
Amos 19 Mar 07 - 07:19 PM
Charley Noble 19 Mar 07 - 06:57 PM
Rapparee 19 Mar 07 - 06:24 PM
Amos 19 Mar 07 - 06:21 PM
Rapparee 19 Mar 07 - 05:31 PM
Amos 19 Mar 07 - 05:12 PM
Amos 19 Mar 07 - 03:17 PM
Rapparee 19 Mar 07 - 02:10 PM
Amos 19 Mar 07 - 01:02 PM
Acme 19 Mar 07 - 12:39 PM
Rapparee 19 Mar 07 - 11:30 AM
Amos 19 Mar 07 - 10:33 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 23 Mar 07 - 12:09 AM

I usually have to go back to work to rest up from my days off. You're in good company!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 07:52 PM

Hmm. I'll have to be having a talking with these excellentest peoples. Mine is kind of condensed and laggardly -- something like treacle -- these days. I need some energy to fill it up and make it sparkle.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 05:40 PM

The Indians, Chinese, and Japanese, I think.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 05:28 PM

A day off some things is a day on other things; 'twas ever thus. I have gotten so lazy I won't take up my sledge and pickaxe after 8 hours of work in the office any more. I'd rather pay someone more rubbery than I am.

But molding and wires and overseeing contractors, yeah, I'll still do that. By the way, who is in control of Space these days?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 05:19 PM

Pat's in DC with her mother.

I took the day off because the Marble Man was coming to put the panels up in the basement bathroom (so we could use the shower without rotting the walls).

Pat's car is in the shop because it wouldn't start. Not even an urr-urr.

The lawn has been fertilized.

The shower walls are up.

And the guy is coming to fix the light switch in the kitchen.

I've run phone wire through wiremold.

This is a day off???????????


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 11:04 AM

I left my parents' homestead
"Succeed!" they did often me tell.
And little did I think I would shame them
By the cruel fate, that then me befell.

I wandered from city to sity,
Endeavouring my talents to sell,
But my efforts did fail, and at the end of my trail,
I'm only a poor ne'er-do-well.

I'm only a poor ne'er-do-well.
I'm only a poor ne'er-do-well.
At the end of the line, I look 'round me and find,
I'm only a poor ne'er-do-well.


So I wandered to far distant regions,
I hoped to leave shame far behind,
'Neath the Idaho stars, in the cheapest of bars
With worry my poor face is lined.

I cannot reach Upper CLass Heaven,
Not even Middle Class Hell,
I'm afraid in my time, I will turn next to crime,
As a nefarious ne'er-do-well

A nefarious ne'er-do-well!
A nefarious ne'er-do-well!
I have fallen so low, to my fate I must go,
As a nefarious ne'er-do-well!


So come, all you lads from the city
And may your endeavours be blessed,
Take a lesson from me,
No ne'er-do-well be!
Go become a nefarious success!

Become a nefarious success!
Become a nefarious success!
Take a lesson from me,
No ne'er-do-well be!
Go become a nefarious success!



Gobsahve Luce Spiddle
Spray When You Sing!
Misunderstood Revelations Press, Saskatchewan 1954

Way out on the


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 09:35 AM

Duckdogs go right through parking brakes. They don't stop for each other. It's their nature.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 22 Mar 07 - 02:17 AM

'Night, MOM. It's late, but a friend just now brought my pickup truck back after fixing the parking brake. It took all evening, but he finished. So nice! Otherwise I'd have had to send my son to his Dad's house in a cab in the morning. He takes a school bus from there every day. That brake certainly holds now, like it never did in all the years I have owned it. I bet even Gluon couldn't fly past and budge this truck, I betcha.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 09:14 PM

Odd. Someone said the same thing about me just today. "Nefarious ne'er-do-well...."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 08:52 PM

I like it; it has a certain nefarious but ne'er-do-well ring to it. So glad you contirbuted it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 08:48 PM

He told me that George Bush and the Oil Cartel, in connivance with the Auto Industry, had kept the thing from the market.

(That's the first time the word "connivance" has been uttered on MOAB, I think.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 08:45 PM

...assuming you can find it somewhere!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 06:15 PM

Ah! An investment opportunity! Go pull out your life's savings and get in on the ground floor!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 06:05 PM

I just bought the neatest thing from a guy outside the auto store. You put it on your carburetor and in your gas tank and you can run your car on WATER!! And it only cost US $200.00! And he said that if I have any problems he'll be right there tomorrow to help me, and if he's not I can email this nice man in Nigeria.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 03:30 PM

When I bought my pickup truck in 2000, gas was costing me about $100 a month. It now costs me about $300 a month, and I don't drive nearly as much as I did back then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 03:29 PM

Well, I can suggest to you how to get a pocket full of gas, but that wouldn't be the same, somehow. And I am sure you are well-practiced in the art. It would save you a lot of money per liter, though.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 03:21 PM

I'd like a pocketful of gas money.... It's gone up 30-some cents in a week here.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 11:33 AM

Right -- I don't remember seeing the Full Moon Inn, which I suspect in Texas has a less romantic meaning than it might in Connecticut. We saw one feed store by the side of the road and we were out of Luckenbach. But the hill country is downright purdy, even without Willie and Whalen and the boys. I believe old Al Grierson lived in the region before he got carried away by a flash flood. I would love to be rambling those roads again, with no schedule and a pocket full of gas money!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 21 Mar 07 - 11:12 AM

The song is longer than the town is big. I had to look it up--that's a favorite area of ours from past camping vacations, down to Enchanted Rock and wandering around the region. Fredericksburg is the entirely land-locked little town that claims a great admiral (Nimitz) from it's population. It's near Kerrville and the beautiful Guadalupe River, and if you travel west a ways you'll get to Utopia and Uvalde and on the way you'll pass the marvelous Caverns of Sonora. Camp at Lost Maples, or head further west to Garner State Park (and old CCC park). Wonderful region.

Map


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 11:56 PM

I think what it was we headed up there from Luckenbach, Texas, another place we navigated to by song lyrics. That time, we got to the right place only to find no there there.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 11:51 PM

If they ever bothered to flatten out Tennessee, it would be three times as long as it is now. You spend all of your time on the interstate driving up hill and down hill and up hill and down hill. . . How did you mistake your placement in the state? Did you drop down from on top, from Kentucky? It would be difficult to miss Memphis if you got there via Arkansas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 09:25 PM

I went to Nashville one tiome when I meant to go to Memphis -- or maybe it was the other way around. What it was, was, we were taking our driving instructions from a memory of Paul Simon singing "Graceland", but we remembered the lyrics wrongly and ended up in Nashville singing "Poppa sang bass, Mama sang tenor...." to the rollicking good cheer of a second-rate country band. What we had meant to do was to see Graceland and think about Elvis.. This is a true story, and it is only here amongst my MOAB brethren that I have the courage to recite it.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 08:48 PM

I was in Nashville twice. Once on a cruise and once just about a year ago. I didn't meet any singers, but the first time we did visit Loretta Lynn's house (she wasn't home).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 01:44 PM

Where are you if the tickets are in Nashville? Wait - aren't you in Nashville as well? Then Where is Loreena?


I am *so* confused.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 01:27 PM

A dykbuck, upon my word!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 12:47 PM

16700 and not even winded.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 12:46 PM

Hmmmm. Another hurdle.

Thump. Okay


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Kim C
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 12:35 PM

Sweet Fancy Moses, I can't believe this thread is still here. Oh... wait... yes I can. ;-)

In other news, I've got tickets to see Loreena McKennitt next month in Nashville.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 12:17 PM

Hey, I'm still writing it, okay? I've decided that Peter Pan and the Lost Boys have to figure in as a street gang or a group of monks, one or the other. No, wait. I'll have them find the Lost Girls and leave Peter and Tink to do whatever they do together.

And the Admirable Crichton, too.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 12:10 PM

At sixteen thousand six-nine-seven letters
I'd like to say the MOAB still grows better.
I'd like to sing the praises of her station --
The charm, the grace, the canny peroration.
That wiser grow, and wiser growing still,
Surmount all hurdles of the world and will.

I'd like to hymn her beauty and her grace --
The light she brings to every reader's face.
How fine, to praise the rhyhm and the temper
That makes each Son of Mom swear, "Semper!
Semper Fi! We pledge our souls to you!"
I'd like to write such paeans -- as would you!

But sadly, none of it is true.

Obi Whachu Wannabe, Syrius XI Planetary Laureate

Starview Publishining, Ether Editions Press
Glimmer City, 4345


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 11:34 AM

Wow, real beefsteaks, huh? I don't get particularly excited about pictures like that, but have gradually gotten tolerant enough to understand why some of the Innie persuasion might do. Those large muscles gleaming, with those sensitive eyes begging for understanding...irresistible combination, in their way.


Sometimes it seems we are all eternal bond-slaves to the dictates of protoplasm. Not irreversibly so, but it seems to be the dominant condition. Protoplasm is fine for what it does, but methinks there are broader ranges to explore.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 09:59 AM

The guy in the kilt--who plays him? I'd like to offer a suggestion (Connery in 1953) or two (who knows what year).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 08:27 AM

I want the role of Paris Hilton's companion. Can I? Huh?

What do you mean, it hasn't been bought up for moview production yet? You slacker!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Mar 07 - 08:21 AM

I would write a poem about Mom's 250,000th post, but we're not there yet. I should be more precise and say that I'll publish the poem I'm already writing.

It's an epic. There is a hero, a ruggedly handsome librarian who can whip out an analytic or a 008 field as quickly and as well as he can his bejeweled sword. There's a heroine, a beautiful and sexy, yet virtuous, woman who falls into the clutches of an evil monster named "fred." There's a king and a sailor and a potter and an evil wretch who creates a zombie in the tower of the long-abandoned castle and three witches and a guy who provides comic relief because his kilt is too full and too short for the windy conditions on board the ship, where he is especially embarassed when he has to climb the ratlines to rig sail. And there's horses and Gabby Hayes, who rescues John Wayne from the Picts, who bought him from Rory the Leper...Lepra...Irish Elf. James Bond figures into it too, as does Paris Hilton and Greta Garbo and Thucydides. And a giant squid. And a duckdog.

Betcha can't wait!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 09:47 PM

MOAB Post #1: From: khandu 05 May 03 - 08:31 PM
MOAB Post # 1000: From: Noreen - 26 Aug 03 - 09:37 AM
MOAB Post @ 2000:From: GUEST,William Shatner 22 Jan 04 - 06:34 PM

                               ODE TO THE MOAB UPON ITS 2000TH POST

When MOAB reached its thousandth post
I wrote a pome, said 'twas the most
That any thread had ever had
It warn't too shabby, not too bad.

It now has that thousand times two.
'Cause some folks don't have shit to do
'Cept shoot the breeze and waste their times
With foolishness and goofy rhymes.

Yes, MOAB it continues on.
The Goddammed thing just won't be gone!
A dream from which we cannot wake,
A never-ending stomachache.

It now looks like it may be true
That this thread never will be through!
So, what the hell? Don't buck the tide.
Just grab yer nuts* and enjoy the ride!

From BWL


MOAB Post #3000: From: Amos 05 May 04 - 10:35 AM
MOAB Post #4000: From: Amos - 22 Jul 04 - 08:20 PM
MOAB Post #6000 GUEST,heric 03 Feb 05 - 10:16 AM
MOAB Post # 7000 From: Stilly River Sage 25 Mar 05 - 10:26 AM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 09:42 PM

Stick around, Charley. Amos thinks he wants to move to France where they have those combination toilet/drinking fountains and eat snail legs in an ozou-based beauchamel sauce all day.

And I was wondering if using a guillotine would destroy any chance of copping a self-defense plea....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 08:50 PM

LOL! Charley passing through like that made me feel like I was curled up in one corner of a rundown broke-backed opium den in a Shanghai slum.

But I know better than that. The secret towering grace, the impeccable rhythms, the flashes of divine wit, harmony and inspired phrase -- these are the gems of the MOAB, which only her children can know.   And if I do end up being a lazy genius in a fine chateau in Normandy, I can assure you I will not forget Mom. She can have visiting rights.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 07:25 PM

Charley, good to see your face! Stick around and contribute to the nonsense. There are probably a half-dozen who contribute regularly, not counting extra-terrestrials. And we have some irregular regulars.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 07:19 PM

Where?


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 06:57 PM

So only three of you fellers are still plugging along on this thread. Well, here's some much needed help.

Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 06:24 PM

I wonder...could you be arrested for carrying a concealed weapon if you were armed with a pike?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 06:21 PM

They think well of you if you do that, I know. But it's not because of where you live. It's all about you. They think there's perhaps some glimmer of hope you can learn to do something productive, is all.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 05:31 PM

...not encouraged to take down his squirrel musket from the mantel, and not thought well of if found sharpening his broadsword or pike in the hearth corner...

Maybe not where YOU are!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 05:12 PM

Besides, in this day and age, when a man is no longer allowed to pick up his bindle stiff, not encouraged to take down his squirrel musket from the mantel, and not thought well of if found sharpening his broadsword or pike in the hearth corner, when all a man really is is a hot spot in the cognosphere, a cyber-figure, why not do all you can do to make your input interesting and enlivening? Hmmmm?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 03:17 PM

...on his economy size album. "NOW!! Sings TWICE as loud!!"...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 02:10 PM

Motherless children have a hard time when MOAB is gone
Motherless children have a hard time when MOAB is gone
Wanderin' 'round from thread to thread
They don't have no place to go to bed
Motherless children have a hard time when MOAB is gone.


                         -- From the singing of Blind Lemon Pledge


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 01:02 PM

So now you have to love the MOAB that's left, twice as much.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 12:39 PM

WHooo hooo! Finally! That goofy MOAB ghost (two occurances of the thread line) is FINALLY gone! For a while I thought everyone saw it, then realized it was probably in my browser. But now I see it was some combination of Mudcat and my browser. I accidentally hit "detrace" instead of the little "d" a few minutes ago, and when I retraced the thread it came back only once. I never could figure out what the problem was there. It didn't mean twice as much MOAB to love, just a strange duplicate line.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 11:30 AM

What about the toilets?

And the French can't even "Paris" correctly!

(Don't forget that my backyard IS a golf course. Well, after you leave my backyard that is.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Mar 07 - 10:33 AM

Meanwhile, if you are short on space, try this flight across the plains of Mars to give you that roomy feeling!


A


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