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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,MMario 01 Jul 04 - 09:55 AM
GUEST,Rapaire 01 Jul 04 - 09:44 AM
Amos 30 Jun 04 - 11:16 PM
khandu 30 Jun 04 - 10:26 PM
Amos 30 Jun 04 - 08:34 PM
Rapparee 30 Jun 04 - 12:15 PM
freda underhill 30 Jun 04 - 10:44 AM
42 30 Jun 04 - 10:41 AM
Amos 30 Jun 04 - 10:40 AM
Little Hawk 30 Jun 04 - 10:33 AM
Rapparee 30 Jun 04 - 09:25 AM
Amos 30 Jun 04 - 09:13 AM
freda underhill 30 Jun 04 - 09:06 AM
42 30 Jun 04 - 07:45 AM
GUEST,freda 30 Jun 04 - 12:20 AM
Rustic Rebel 30 Jun 04 - 12:05 AM
Rapparee 29 Jun 04 - 10:34 PM
khandu 29 Jun 04 - 09:50 PM
Amos 29 Jun 04 - 09:50 PM
freda underhill 29 Jun 04 - 09:40 PM
Amos 29 Jun 04 - 09:28 PM
khandu 29 Jun 04 - 08:42 PM
GUEST,Magenta 29 Jun 04 - 08:12 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 29 Jun 04 - 06:15 PM
GUEST,Shongo, Mom's Favorite 29 Jun 04 - 06:09 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 29 Jun 04 - 04:35 PM
Tweed 29 Jun 04 - 01:32 PM
Amos 29 Jun 04 - 12:04 PM
GUEST,MMario 29 Jun 04 - 11:47 AM
Tweed 29 Jun 04 - 11:29 AM
freda underhill 29 Jun 04 - 10:45 AM
beardedbruce 29 Jun 04 - 10:42 AM
Amos 29 Jun 04 - 10:39 AM
freda underhill 29 Jun 04 - 10:34 AM
beardedbruce 29 Jun 04 - 09:21 AM
42 29 Jun 04 - 09:10 AM
GUEST,Shongo, Chongo's Evil Twin 29 Jun 04 - 09:05 AM
GUEST 29 Jun 04 - 12:28 AM
Rustic Rebel 28 Jun 04 - 11:59 PM
khandu 28 Jun 04 - 10:38 PM
Amos 28 Jun 04 - 09:39 PM
Rapparee 28 Jun 04 - 08:49 PM
Rapparee 28 Jun 04 - 08:39 PM
Amos 28 Jun 04 - 04:00 PM
Little Hawk 28 Jun 04 - 03:35 PM
Amos 28 Jun 04 - 12:49 PM
Little Hawk 28 Jun 04 - 11:27 AM
Rapparee 28 Jun 04 - 10:50 AM
Rapparee 28 Jun 04 - 10:03 AM
GUEST,melanie 28 Jun 04 - 12:37 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 09:55 AM

huh?

I can usually follow the conversations around here - but I am lost,lost,lost.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 01 Jul 04 - 09:44 AM

Amos, do you mean the classic equation?

(.) (.)

   .

   v


or

. .


.

?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 11:16 PM

Thanks Yer Majeste-Lese.

I want to point out in case it was missed that there is one death-defying, Cosmic Bank-Breaker proposition amongst ALL the BS on this thread, one that is right up there with e=mc^2 as a Classic Bee-Essical Proposition. It is the nature of the square root of infinity, revealed just a few posts earlier. It is easy to understand when you pause to reflect on the process of reaching a square from a square root:

(I)*(I)= Oo (Infinity)


But it only works when you clear away the parentheses.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 10:26 PM

"Ergo, if then everyone here is "insane", "insanity" is "sanity" and khandu is "insane.""
Rapaire hit the head on the nail!!!
Exactly what I meant regarding "normal" & "dizzy"!!

Methinks, Sir Rapaire, that you understand the "2+2=5" concept! I am certain Little Hawk does, as he was an early disciple of Harry Lee Wigley!

42, I am pleased that you were affirmed & consoled! That is what I am here for!


Amos, I secretly admire & respect you! I will bet you ocassionally enjoy a good slice of cheese!

Freda, you show an unkhanny grasp of the reality of BS of which this is the MOTHER! I am bewildered as to your origins!

Now, I must say "ta-ta" for some time as my ASCID is beginning its induction; Meanwhile...carry on...

TA-ta!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 08:34 PM

The square root of infinity is I. It is a strange coincidence that the symbol i was adapted to represent imaginary numbers and the square root of -1.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 12:15 PM

Every number is significant. Like every human being it should be enfolded in warmth and love, embraced for itself alone, its self-esteem reinforced and strengthened at every possible opportunity. Otherwise, it will run rampant and end up like the square root of negative 1, or e, or (shudder!) infinity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 10:44 AM

it certainly is!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 10:41 AM

is this a significant number?
j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 10:40 AM

Yeah -- it could have been derailed by the merest glimmer of talent, but he avoided that catastrophe most deftly.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 10:33 AM

Not so! William Shatner is relatively sane. His success in a cleverly conceived career, despite the obvious disadvantages that could have derailed it, is proof of that.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 09:25 AM

khandu - you are the only sane one here.

As the sole "sane one", there is no standard against which to judge. Therefore, how do we know?

Apart from the difficulty of defining "sanity" and "insanity", poets (such as Dickinson) and natural philosophers (such as Paul Dirac) have noted that one defines the other by comparison. Ergo, if then everyone here is "insane", "insanity" is "sanity" and khandu is "insane."

As we used to say in the Forum, "Res ipsa loquitur, dudes and dudettes."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 09:13 AM

Well, I am woebegone to see that Freda has expressed such admiration for our once and future King who is so corrupt in his duties and so elliptical in his technologies.

I want equal compliments for all.

I will go on strike.

:>)


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 09:06 AM

khandu - you are the only sane one here.

x freda


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 07:45 AM

khandu...you are a madman.

ahhhh that feels better...affirmed and consoled

j


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,freda
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 12:20 AM

you're right, RR. I never did like beetroot sandwiches, anyway!

freda


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 30 Jun 04 - 12:05 AM

Freda, I
love you, but fuck the disease. With that said...

Salvatingly yores,
Tweed
Oh yes.
I am always nekkid when I sit in the light of the computer. I am the salvating woman. But I have to know Tweed.
Did you feel the gem?
Are you the gem?
If not, will you eventually be the gem?
Friends, brothers and sisters, I want you all to know I am not bullshitting here when I practice the art of getting to know your body in a different perspective.
This is real shit.
This is not anything you can throw a back-slide piece of turd at.
I am Real, and I am Naked.
ps I believe in you all. you can glisten.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 10:34 PM

Well, I'll be danged. I thunk that Tinnitus was the Roman Empire ancestor of Tin-Tin or maybe Rin-Tin-Tin.

So, one day I went out and drunk about seventy-leven whiskeys, and a whole buncha beers. Everthing was goin' round and round, and finally I started goin' round and round too, faster and faster, and afore I knew it I'd drilled myself inta a hole in the ground! I was worried 'bout gettin' out, but long about three hunerd feet down I struck a pretty decent flow of water, which washed me plumb outa the hole. Tossed me up into the air, and then the pressure kinda backed off and it dropped on the ground jist a nice as you please. Couple or four folks were standin' around, a couple soldiers and a couple real people, watching me up on the top of that water fountain. One of the soljers, a private, said to the second looey with him, "Look at the guy, Sir!" and pointed at me. One of the civilians took that to be fact, and from then on folks called this sort of fountain a guysir, only they changed the spelling eventually.

So, was this here goin' round and round I experienced, was that this here Mean Ears Disease?

Oh, yeah, the guysir still spouts off. It's still aruptin', too, and not too far from here. Yep, every hour on the hour, regilar as clockwork, whoooooooosh, up shoots the old water.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 09:50 PM

Call me a madman, if it affirms your existence & consoles your dizzy emotions.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 09:50 PM

Freda:

As usual you have outdone yourself. If you keep up this remarkable track record we will find ourselves losing sight of you altogether!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 09:40 PM

What Is Meaniere's Disease?
Méanière's disease, also called idiopathologic endolymphatic hyadrops, is a disorder of the inner thread. Although the cause is unknown, it probably results from an abnormality in the druids of the inner universe. Méanière's disease is one of the most common causes of dizziness originating in the inner universe. In most cases
only one brain is involved, but both brains may be affected in about 15 percent of patients. [those who have a brain both in their skull and in their elbow].

The symptoms of Méanière's disease are episodic rotational vertigo (attacks of a spinning sensation),hearing loss, tinnitus (a roaring, buzzing,or ringing sound in the ear), and a sensation of fullness in the affected thread. Tinnitus and fullness of the ear in Méanière's disease may come and go with changes in hearing, occur during or just
before MOAB attacks, or be constant.

From all the Méanière's disease's symptoms,vertigo is usually the most troublesome. Vertigo may last for 20 minutes to two decades or longer. During attacks, patients are usually unable to perform activities normal to their work or home life, such as roller blading, tap dancing or putting the garbage out. Sufism is often suggested as a means of stabilising the vertigo [see Whirling Dervishes and their impact on MOAB Meaniers]. Beetroot sandwiches are recommended, but the research is not yet complete.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 09:28 PM

I squawk! I phlegm upon your shoes!! The time I have to spare for a self-styled King who can't even maintain his own orientation without being stuck in a whirling machine, let alone a gray box of wetware, is an asymptotic curve approaching zero rapidly.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 08:42 PM

"Normal" is relative. "Dizzy" is relative.
Spin in a circle & you will become dizzy.
All of us were born on a spinning orb. We are all dizzy but we do not realize it because it is "normal" for us to be.
We are all dizzy... except for me. "Why?", you ask.

Because of my creation. A device in which I remain 24/7. A device which rotates at the same speed of the earth's rotation, but in the opposite direction!!

My directions are not based upon the magnetic poles, as are your's. Your North, South, East, West, up & down mean nothing to me. I face one direction, toward the Sun. I do not spin with the Earth's rotation, as do you. Therefore, I have overcome the "normal" dizziness which effe c ts the rest of you.

It took a while to become oriented to this non-dizziness. But, as I did, I became aware that the "laws" which rule us are merely illusions! In fact, the "true" reality is summed up an the phrase "2+2=5". Gain an understanding of that truth, then you will understand the non-dizzy universe.

But I do not expect you to comprehend for you are all dizzy & know it not.

Call me a madman, if it affirms your existence & consoles your dizzy emotions.

But ask yourselves, "Could this be why he is King?"

The answer is "Yes."

King khandu King of the non-dizzy Universe


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Magenta
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 08:12 PM

Chongo, you're the one for me! who needs colonics when I've got you?

I'm waiting for you, baby..


Magenta


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 06:15 PM

I know I should know better than to even pay any attention to this crap...

I would laugh if I got a chance to see you face to face, bozo. I know what you are. You're a dumb, pathetic human posing as an ape, that's what you are. You couldn't climb a tree if it had stairs on it. You're an embarassment. Go climb up your thumb, jerk. I got work to do. I'm employed. You oughta look into that concept, meatball.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shongo, Mom's Favorite
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 06:09 PM

Know why you turned out like you did, twin of mine? Because I was born first, and you have had an inferiority complex ever since. Only it ain't no complex, platter-lips, you're just inferior. And you've always been inferior. Remembe how you'd whine when you didn't get your way? Well, you ain't stopped whinin', and I'm gettin' pretty sick and tired of it, ya big lump of fat.

Yeah, you. Fatboy Chongo. We used to call you that. You remember, doncha, Fatboy? You'd come home sniveling, wiping your nose in the hair on your arm, your eyes just streaming tears, "Mom, Shongo called me a bad name!" "Mommy, Shongo hit me!"

Now listen, Fatboy. Either grow up and be a Primate or shut the hell up! Just quit your whining before you make me puke like you did Mom.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 04:35 PM

Hey, Shongo! I ain't got no twin, smart guy...evil or otherwise. I am the one and only Chongo, you dumb plug-ugly, and I will bust yer chops if I see you shambling around my neighborhood with yer lip hangin' out. You ain't no gorilla, you're just a little puddle monkey.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 01:32 PM

Amos, I shuld think thet dribbling all obver Rustic's nekkidness wuld be frowned upon in reglar circles ob religion. Posonby this thread will involve into a regilion ob it's own somehow and the ack ob drivveling upon a nekked Rustic culd be a form obv baptism, as well az havin' to read the whole thread wif four hour test etc. Thar iz plenny obv drivvel to be found har and whar better to drivvel than on Nekked Rustic? How bout it RR? Ar you game?

Salvatingly yores,
Tweed


PS. I would exclude King Khnuttbag from this custom if it should take off az he appears to be in full foam and spew mode ob late. Perhaps he could don the remains ob the Cherokee headress and stand outside TEMPLE D'MOAB profurring cheap cigars for the incoming parissioniers or something equally useful.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 12:04 PM

LOL, MM ... I kinda know the feeling.

I like RR's preescripshun. It oughta go a long way to establishing world piece as it is somthin' both Muslims and Christians can do in common/...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 11:47 AM

reading this thread is sorta like picking at a scab; or scratching when you have a rash; or having that drink you know you really shouldn't have; or racing the red light at the intersection.

not the smartest thing in the work to do - but irresistable at the time


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 11:29 AM

Rustic are you allus nekkid? I am wondering if thar is some possimuss way whar all ob the MOABITES culd dribble water down yore nekkid skin also. Mebbe we culd all dribble water on ar screens while reading yore mos vivid post an' acheive virnahnna in thet manner.

Yores,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 10:45 AM

charming.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 10:42 AM

MOAB 3765 posts since 3 May 03    about 14 months

IETSHTBL 1044 posts since 16 March 04   about 3 1/2 months... at this rate, it would have 4176 in 14 months.....

Maybe I need to bring my sonnets over here?

8-{E


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 10:39 AM

Maybe we needed a colonic hereabouts and maybe we did not, but why did they have to send such an ugly nurse??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 10:34 AM

Shongo, you are a breath of fresh air, a badly needed colonic for this thread.... glad you've come in n sorted out the hierarchies here - we needed a higher species to put things in line.

freda


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 09:21 AM

And someone has a problem with bad verse?

8-{E


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: 42
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 09:10 AM

WELL! look who just walked into our cozy little thread!

God's(Goddess, Buddha, etc) Gift to Warthogs!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Shongo, Chongo's Evil Twin
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 09:05 AM

You want bananas, GUEST? I'll give you some @#$!@ bananas! Ain't nobody gonna be the Top Gorilla round here, see? Unless it's me, see? And don't give me that guff about Chongo, 'cause that punk wants you to think he's tough, see? You know what his first job was? He collected money from the marks from an organ grinder, scabbing when the capuchins went on strike. Everybody thought it was me, so I busted the little smartass in the nose and that was the end of that.

Like I say, ain't nobody but me gonna be Top Gorilla in the BS department. Them other people, Amoss and Tiny Titmouse and Rapear and Cantdo and Twit and the rest, they don't know BS from dog doo. They wouldn't know BS if they fell in a pile of it.

Me, now I know BS. I'm the King of BS. And if you don't like it, you'll be going down, see? Cuz I OWN this thread. Me.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Jun 04 - 12:28 AM

You know, this thread was a welcome relief from the one upmanship being played out on some of the other threads, particularly one being laden up with bad verse.. Now, in our own dear MOAB, someone is trying to be the Head BS Gorilla.


This place is bananas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 11:59 PM

Amos and Little Hawk- this "Getting to know your body- part two is dedicated to you both.

This week we will delve into the body becoming a glistening gem.
Simply, drink a water from a vessel of your CHOICE and let the water dribble down your naked body.
Gaze at the dribble in the light of the computer and see the glistening gems sparkle upon your body.
Imagine the dropplets being a part of your being. Imagine that you are the glistening diamond upon your chest, dripping down, and spreading to your loins.
Imagine that you are the being of the glistening gem, spreading your energy inward and you are becoming the shiny rock that is dripping down your bare chest.
Then imagine that you are the gem. And then, with the heat of your body, you dissipate into ....

Next week's.... where does the body heat go, when you feel cold....Part Three.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 10:38 PM

Amos is notably serious about BS! Anytime he speaks BS, it is serious BS!
& I am not joking !

k


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 09:39 PM

Ok, wisenheimer. Let me clarify:

Dear Little Hawk:

No.

Amos


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 08:49 PM

I thought that I'd share the first line of an email I got from city hall today. It demonstrates the sort of clear, straightforward thinking America is noted for.

"For your information the 4th of July will be celebrated on July 4, 2004."

No indecisive wimps out here in the Pacific Northwest!

(This was sent to all city employees.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 08:39 PM

If you think the answer is "no" then you must also think that the answer is "yes" because inherent within the statement "I think the answer is no" lies the statement "I think the answer is yes." This being the case, the answer can be neither yes nor no since we are dealing with a two-valued logic system ("either-or" if you will) which does not allow for any third value ("either this or this or this"). Within a two-valued system, then, both statements would have a null value. This, however, is the MOAB, and we must therefore allow for a third possibility within the two-valued system defined: call it Schroedinger's Cat. Hence even within the two-valued, yes-no system there exists a third possibility which we will, for want of a better term, call "neither". Because we can neither apprehend or understand the "neither" term, we must again call upon the philosophers of the natural world and postulate, along with Werner Heisenberg, uncertainty. The correct phrasing should therefore be, "I am uncertain about thinking that the answer is 'no,' but I am equally uncertain about thinking that the answer is 'yes'."

I hope that this clarifies Amos' answer to Little Hawk.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 04:00 PM

Little Hawk:

This is a BS thread.

I use it to post BS.

In this context what does yourr question mean? I think the answer is no.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 03:35 PM

Are you serious?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 12:49 PM

A hunger, an appetite, or a starving sensation depending on the intensifying suffix chosen.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 11:27 AM

"Kleinschmidt"??? How generic can you get? That's like an Englishman named Smithjones!

And by the way, what did the name "Jones" derive from anyway? "Smith" was a profession (blacksmith). What was "Jones"?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 10:50 AM

3660! A wonderfully divisible number!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 10:03 AM

I knew a guy in the service whose name was Kleinschmidt; he was an electrician. And there was a drapes & curtains store, back when and where I was growing up, called "Klein's". So I guess that if I needed new electrical drapes, Mel could help, right?

As for knowing how the mind interacts with all it's parts, I know how my does, and why. When I was about three, my mother dropped me on my head (I still have the scar from the broken milk bottle I landed on). That opened up a whole new world to me and jumpstarted my thinking. By the time I was 3.5, I was working out algebraic matrices, by four I had invented matrix calculus. I was well on my way to a true Grand Unified Theory when, at the age of six, my brother Tony hit me on the head with a toy concrete block and...let's just say that my grades did not improve thereafter and my mother was highly annoyed with Tony. Naturally, I wasn't very pleased with him either because he had totally blown my chances of entering the Institute For Advanced Studies at the age of eight, so I tried to drown him in a bucket. My mother was on the scene too soon, however, and he only suffered from hypoxia long enough to change his personality from that of a nasty little brat to that of a raging, evil megalomaniac genius whose plans to rule the world are now, with most of his children grown, bearing fruit. I suppose I should warn the world about his evil schemes, but he and his spawn are kin, after all. I will only say that Microbiology will fall first, then the Graphic Arts, and then Theoretical and Experimental Physics (and Mathematics).       Oh, the plot is cunning and well-laid-out, but like I said, they're kinfolk and all so I'd feel bad about ratting on them.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,melanie
Date: 28 Jun 04 - 12:37 AM

there is a fine line between humour and competition. is this line being blurred?

This, the MOAB thread, is a river of BS. let it flow onwards uninterrupted, like our own unconscious strivings..

Melanie k. (the ghost of)


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