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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 28 May 04 - 09:34 AM
GUEST,MMario 28 May 04 - 09:07 AM
Rapparee 28 May 04 - 08:59 AM
freda underhill 28 May 04 - 08:08 AM
JennyO 28 May 04 - 08:02 AM
Amos 27 May 04 - 02:53 PM
GUEST 27 May 04 - 02:45 PM
Rapparee 27 May 04 - 02:01 PM
Amos 27 May 04 - 12:47 PM
Rapparee 27 May 04 - 12:07 PM
Acme 27 May 04 - 10:23 AM
GUEST,Ponderer of the inpondrable 27 May 04 - 09:08 AM
Rapparee 27 May 04 - 09:01 AM
Amos 26 May 04 - 11:33 PM
GUEST,lurker 26 May 04 - 06:50 PM
Acme 26 May 04 - 04:44 PM
Rapparee 26 May 04 - 03:58 PM
Rapparee 26 May 04 - 03:57 PM
Amos 26 May 04 - 03:47 PM
GUEST,James Tiberius Kirk 26 May 04 - 03:43 PM
Amos 26 May 04 - 03:21 PM
GUEST 26 May 04 - 03:11 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 26 May 04 - 03:10 PM
GUEST,Leonard Nimoy 26 May 04 - 03:09 PM
GUEST,William Shatner 26 May 04 - 03:04 PM
GUEST,MMario 26 May 04 - 02:35 PM
Acme 26 May 04 - 02:22 PM
Amos 26 May 04 - 01:03 PM
Little Hawk 26 May 04 - 12:41 PM
Amos 26 May 04 - 12:31 PM
freda underhill 26 May 04 - 11:52 AM
GUEST 26 May 04 - 11:28 AM
freda underhill 26 May 04 - 11:26 AM
GUEST,MMario 26 May 04 - 11:23 AM
Amos 26 May 04 - 11:16 AM
GUEST 26 May 04 - 10:31 AM
GUEST,First Cousin of Ceaseless Debauchery 25 May 04 - 06:25 PM
Amos 25 May 04 - 12:47 PM
freda underhill 25 May 04 - 12:16 PM
Amos 25 May 04 - 11:26 AM
Acme 25 May 04 - 11:12 AM
Rapparee 25 May 04 - 08:54 AM
Amos 25 May 04 - 12:43 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 25 May 04 - 12:07 AM
Little Hawk 24 May 04 - 11:57 PM
GUEST,sister of perpetual indulgence 24 May 04 - 11:50 PM
Acme 24 May 04 - 11:37 PM
Rapparee 24 May 04 - 07:38 PM
Tweed 24 May 04 - 05:46 PM
Rapparee 24 May 04 - 04:08 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 09:34 AM

I got it! I got it!

How about:

Boosting the matter-energy conversion of lithium VI deutride in fission-initiated fusion reactions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who can resist talkin' 'bout makin' thermonukler bombs better???? Us real men kin talk 'bout boosting the matter-energy conversion of lithium VI deutride in fission-initiated fusion reactions and them real wimmin kin bring us cold beer 'n' hot brats!!

Amos kin do implosion-type initiators, and MMario kin do gun-type. Bee-dubya kin talk 'bout the lithium VI deutride, an' since I'm a candydate fer President I can't 'sociate with such war-like talk, so I'll jist eat the brats an' drink the beer an' fondle the wimmin.

Then I'll talk 'bout how we're studyin' up on how to git more bang fer the taxpayer's buck.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 28 May 04 - 09:07 AM

well - option "f" is definately out - WAY to effete a subject.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 May 04 - 08:59 AM

I'm male (at least, I was when I...checked a few minutes ago), but I simply CANNOT stomach talking about Britney Spears, et al. So, would you rather talk about

a) belching and other bodily expulsions?
b) guns 'n' huntin'?
c) football?
d) wimmin?
e) what we did in The War?
f) Werner Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle and its implications for our ability to ascertain knowledge about the cusp of the Blue Event Horizon?
g) my best drunk?
h) making armpit noises?
i) spittin'?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 28 May 04 - 08:08 AM

it's all blindingly obvious, whatever thread we have , at some point men start talking about....
















William Shatner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: JennyO
Date: 28 May 04 - 08:02 AM

And the exercise is Pilates. Don't know about laying on balls tho - sounds kinda painful - but then I wouldn't know, cos I'm a grrrrl.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 04 - 02:53 PM

Palm Pilate washed his hands, and said, "WHat IS truth?".

Palm Pilot just directs the movement of the palm. Different.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 27 May 04 - 02:45 PM

he does WHAT with WHO's Balls?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 04 - 02:01 PM

Wasn't Palm Pilot the Procurator of Judea who was in power way back when? Or am I thinking about the guy who makes you lay on balls and calls it exercise?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 27 May 04 - 12:47 PM

Rapaire --

You are your own Palm pilot. Who else??

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 04 - 12:07 PM

So THAT'S what happened to my Palm Pilot (this is not a reference to onanism or self-abuse or masturbation or...).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 May 04 - 10:23 AM

Why on earth would you load the entire thing? You might need some counselling, lurker. That's a self-defeating self-flagellating thing to do. Always click on the number, never on the thread!

(Don't ever load this whole thread if you're on a laptop--your battery might catch fire from the effort!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Ponderer of the inpondrable
Date: 27 May 04 - 09:08 AM

the wisdom of the ages is enclosed within the loving arms of MOAB

but only you can determine if it is worth it!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 May 04 - 09:01 AM

My thoughts exactly. If you can't take the wait, never masturbate.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:33 PM

Lurker:

No, you should steer clear of it in the future.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,lurker
Date: 26 May 04 - 06:50 PM

I've been waiting for ten minutes for this thread to load...was it worth it?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 May 04 - 04:44 PM

Good! Shatner, eat your heart out!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:58 PM

3300! I did it!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:57 PM

3299...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:47 PM

Captain Kirk:

I wasn't talking to you, but to a dull witted wannabe actor who comes around these parts from time to time looking for a role to play. Now you have taken all my wrath on a s some kind of personal insult, right? That was inaccurate and illogical.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,James Tiberius Kirk
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:43 PM

You wound me, Amos. Is it for this that I gave the best years of my life battling Klingons and phaser-wielding maniacs so that you and you ilk could produce more squalling brats on an insignificant planet rotating around a minor star called Sol? Is it for this that I went boldly where no man had gone before? Is it for this that...

Naw. Couldn't have been for this. I know what it was for. It was for this great place I've got, the horses, the barbecued steaks, the glory, and the leisure time. My 4 x 4 and my jacuzzi. That's what it was for.

So screw you, Amos. I laugh in your general direction.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:21 PM

Bill:

Get bent. F**ck off. Get out of here. Go. Leave. Avaunt, aroint, begone. You are a nuisance and a fat distraction, a Bad Actor and an Overweight Person. Your input is unwanted here, your advices unsought, your humor unfunny, your insight unwise, your reflections shallow, and your compassion unfeeling.

Go away, get thee gone, get thee to a nunnery, be off, hie thee hence, get lost, take a long hike off a short pier, take a powder, get on your bike, disappear, make like ice and melt, go to, go elsewhere.

You are unwanted in these sacred MOAB halls.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:11 PM

for the best of all reasons - to annoy Shatner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:10 PM

For the hell of it, Leonard, that's why.

Sorry, folks, it seems that you are on your own on this one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Leonard Nimoy
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:09 PM

I fail to see any logical reason why I should post to this thread or even make any appearance on this forum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 26 May 04 - 03:04 PM

I've been wondering if I should have mercy on you poor obsessed people and not bother posting here when it hits the next 100. I could call up Leonard and have him do it instead, I suppose. Or we could just leave you alone for awhile to stew in your own juice. Decisions, decisions...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 May 04 - 02:35 PM

Nimoy played an excellent Tevya (fiddler on the Roof) and quite a passable Arthur (Camelot).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 26 May 04 - 02:22 PM

Isn't anyone going to give Leonard Nimoy a chance to take us up to the next level?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 01:03 PM

Dear Gawd, can't you find something else to play with Little Hawk? Shatner is growing REALLY old.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 May 04 - 12:41 PM

Cross your fingers, folks. We might get another visit from the Shatman soon!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 12:31 PM

I think GUEST must be male...or wish to be.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:52 AM

charming.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:28 AM

I've been posting on the MOAB
All the live-long day!
I've been posting on the MOAB
Just to pass the time away!

Can't you smell the BS rising?
Rising each hour of the morn?
Can't you smell the BS rising;
Dinah won't you blow MY horn.

dinah won't ya blow,
Dinah won't ya blow?
Dinah won't you blow my HORN!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:26 AM

Amos, not only do you have your very own MOAB, you ARE a MOAB.
it's like that medieval etching of the guy sticking his head through and looking out to see the cosmos (you know the one I mean..)
we are immersed in MOAB, we are living breathing MOAB, and this thread is a sort of hint of reality, which is screaming all around us... MOAB! we think we have a spine, but its a MOAB, we think we have an intestine, its a MOAB, this long thread is like a cyber threadworm, devouring us from within, while we keep consuming, unaware that we are being .. consumed.

good night all

freda


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,MMario
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:23 AM

Nobody knows the MOAB I've seen....


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 26 May 04 - 11:16 AM

If I had a MOAB of my own
I wouldn't bitch or whine, or moan
About the problems that I see
Or difficult reality
I'd never want to leave my home
Or go off to the woods alone
If I had a MOAB of my own
BS would be my Blarney Stone
With a MOAB of my very own!
I could sit and sing a MOAB song
And BS all the whole day long!!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 26 May 04 - 10:31 AM

It was a slow day on the MOAB. The scents were veering from the earthy to the humourous and back again like a pendulum.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,First Cousin of Ceaseless Debauchery
Date: 25 May 04 - 06:25 PM

Bee-dubya-ell, that was not Perpetual Indulgence with whom you were associating back in your footloose days. It was My Main Man and first cousin, Ceaseless Debauchery. Perpetual Indulgence is related to our side of the family by marriage only. We see him and his sister at weddings and such but we don't really hang out together. Man, you must have been really fooked up to not be able to tell the difference.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 04 - 12:47 PM

ROTFLMAO!! These guys are teerriffic!! Thanks, Freda!! LOL!! What names!!

I am of the considered opinion that the Mudcat's own eternal Temple of the Golden Globes and Order of the Divine Curve should, in their typical up-front, touchy-feely manner, approach the Sisters to discuss a possible integration in massive public ceremonies.

We could provide the necessary hooks to support a great deal of the advance work, and stay ahead of the curve while the Sisters followed up with analyses of potential indulgence. Just think of the potential we could uncover and spring free from the oppressive restraints of guilt and garment if we combined forces!! Holy Moly!!

Brother Hapticus Intimus, Pastor
Temple of the Golden Globes


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: freda underhill
Date: 25 May 04 - 12:16 PM

The Sisters, an Australian order of nuns, have been described as..

the "Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence," a self- described "order of gay male nuns" whose vows are to "expiate stigmatic guilt and promulgate universal joy."

the quote goes on (from the Sister's own site) ..These sodomites dress up as Catholic nuns, and "rebaptize" themselves with such names as Sister Homocycle Motorsexual; Sister Sleaze Du Jour; Sister Florence Nightmlare, R.N.; Sister Boom Boom; Sister Mad, Power-Hungry Bitch; Sister Missionary Position; Sister Chanel 2001; Sister Sadie Sadie the Rabbi Lady; Sister Helen Damnation; Sister Opiate of the Masses; Sister Atrociata von Tasteless; Sister Exposia; and Sister Perpetually Pruretic Prostate.

When Pope John Paul II visited San Francisco in 1987, the "Sisters" "canonized" Harvey Milk, the murdered homosexual city supervisor, and then conducted a parody of the Roman Catholic Mass. They handed out foil- wrapped condoms at "communion," and referred to them as "our holy savior," who was to "vouchsafe the safety of our sexual play." The enthusiastic "congregation" was then instructed to inflate the condoms with "the guilt and shame organized religion has foisted" on them, and then pop them.

http://www.zip.com.au/~mmqc/siscrd/sissy.html

http://www.zip.com.au/~mmqc/hitmil/review.html

check these for more insight into our sisters, including the great Mother Inferior and others

best wishes

freda


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 04 - 11:26 AM

The Sisters of Divinity were famous in my town for allowiing folks to fudge everything just a little.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 25 May 04 - 11:12 AM

They're sweet things like the Sisters of Divinity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 04 - 08:54 AM

Are the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence anything like the Sisters of the Holy Smokes or the Sisters of the Divine Figure?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 25 May 04 - 12:43 AM

Don't pay him no mind, Sister - thet BWL is over indulged long ago since, I promise you. Iffen you granted him one more indulgence, even effen it were a teensy one, he'd likely just POP!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 May 04 - 12:07 AM

Welcome to the MOAB, Sister of Perpetual Indulgence. I used to hang around with your brother, Perpetual Indulgence back in my single days. I didn't even know he had a sister. Hell, If I had known I would have probably asked you out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 May 04 - 11:57 PM

Reverend Twobyfour, that is certainly a refreshing new take on the whole subject of BS. It was courageous of you to take the bull by the horns as it were and EXPOSE Satan's use of this deleterious thread to mislead the INNOCENT!!! There is one thing that worries me, however. You stated that you had read this entire thread "from beginning to end"...

If so, I fear that you have most certainly lost your mind and that casts doubt on your reliability as a spiritual advisor.

Are you aware that Oscar Meyer died for the collective sins of all weiner dogs? (which sins, even if they were listed sequentially in shorthand, would make even this thread look like a flyspeck in comparison) We owe Oscar Meyer a lot.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,sister of perpetual indulgence
Date: 24 May 04 - 11:50 PM

jennyo and bee-dubya-ell

your poems just hit the spot.

i pray that you will be free fromf guilt and dogma, that you express your full potential and juiciest desires, and that you reject cant, hypocrisy and superstition. enjoy your mind, your heart and your body, however comfortable it may be, and give thanks to hormoans, cicadas, and song.

May you indulge in life, tasting its pleasures, and give freely to your fellow beings without superciliousness, self righteousness or arrogance. for you have inherited the loves and joys of life.

LIVE IT UP!

in praise

Sister Yogini Bare
from the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 24 May 04 - 11:37 PM

Good song, Jenny! It works out sort of like a modern play on Scylla and Charybdis.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 04 - 07:38 PM

I dunno, Tweed. You might want a life jacket or sumthin, cuz iffen your gonna wash away all of yer sin and corruption and stuff, you'll probably have to be anchored out in deep water fer quite some time. MOAB alone'll probly take three or four weeks, at least.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 24 May 04 - 05:46 PM

O Reverend Twobyfour pleeze help my pore dumbasst self to reclaim the rightful path...I iz a pitimous sinner and habv frequented this godawful road at MOAB sinse the conception, which had no virgins involved whatsomever thet I culd tell. It iz a pit of awful sin and corrumption and I am ready for the river to warsh away the filf and decay on my pore performated soul.

How much will it cost me and kin you take a tattered Visa card to git the job done? I kin tell thet you are a man obv great compassion, mercy, forgibness and general good will tward obther childern obv the Lord.

Yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 04 - 04:08 PM

Mark Twain (as usual) said it best, Rev:

Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.


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