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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

GUEST,Thetis and Kalypso 14 Mar 04 - 08:48 PM
Amos 14 Mar 04 - 02:42 PM
Tweed 14 Mar 04 - 02:25 PM
Amos 14 Mar 04 - 02:01 PM
Rapparee 14 Mar 04 - 01:33 PM
Amos 14 Mar 04 - 01:03 PM
Tweed 14 Mar 04 - 12:01 PM
GUEST,Guests: Thetis and Kalypso 14 Mar 04 - 10:28 AM
Amos 14 Mar 04 - 10:25 AM
Tweed 14 Mar 04 - 09:53 AM
Amos 14 Mar 04 - 06:04 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 14 Mar 04 - 02:30 AM
Little Hawk 13 Mar 04 - 11:20 PM
Rustic Rebel 13 Mar 04 - 07:03 PM
GUEST,ZetaZetaZetah! 13 Mar 04 - 01:48 PM
Amos 13 Mar 04 - 01:26 PM
Acme 13 Mar 04 - 12:21 PM
Amos 13 Mar 04 - 12:18 PM
Acme 13 Mar 04 - 11:55 AM
Acme 13 Mar 04 - 11:54 AM
Acme 13 Mar 04 - 11:53 AM
Acme 13 Mar 04 - 11:53 AM
Acme 13 Mar 04 - 11:52 AM
Acme 13 Mar 04 - 11:52 AM
Acme 13 Mar 04 - 11:52 AM
Tweed 13 Mar 04 - 11:32 AM
Amos 13 Mar 04 - 09:55 AM
Rustic Rebel 13 Mar 04 - 03:09 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 13 Mar 04 - 01:23 AM
Amos 12 Mar 04 - 11:20 PM
Rapparee 12 Mar 04 - 11:40 AM
Amos 12 Mar 04 - 11:36 AM
Rapparee 12 Mar 04 - 11:20 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 11 Mar 04 - 02:09 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 04 - 01:13 PM
Amos 11 Mar 04 - 12:19 PM
Rapparee 11 Mar 04 - 12:12 PM
GUEST,Cookieless W.E. 11 Mar 04 - 04:00 AM
Amos 10 Mar 04 - 11:16 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 04 - 08:35 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 10 Mar 04 - 08:17 PM
Rapparee 10 Mar 04 - 10:12 AM
Amos 10 Mar 04 - 10:06 AM
Rapparee 10 Mar 04 - 09:32 AM
Amos 09 Mar 04 - 09:56 PM
Rapparee 09 Mar 04 - 09:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 09 Mar 04 - 07:59 PM
Sttaw Legend 09 Mar 04 - 06:27 PM
Tweed 09 Mar 04 - 06:27 PM
Amos 09 Mar 04 - 06:17 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Thetis and Kalypso
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 08:48 PM

Hey, guys,

We don't sound like that at all. Ulysses liked our songs, as have a lot of other men and women. Our sister Ionone even has a career in the music business and has done quite well for herself -- she has quite a following singing under her stage name of Brittany Spears. And Jennifer Lopez -- the one you all call "J. Lo" -- has a real name as well.

They're the worst singers of the bunch, and even they admit it.

And as for those Parisian ladies Amos was going on about, well, Amos baby, try us on and you'll never want to come up for air.

Love,

K & T


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 02:42 PM

RIght-oh, Sir Tweed; I thought I had approximated it with my onomatapoetic construction "waahhhBWAH" but I think on reflection that it depends on whether you ar elistening to them from the street (where hawwwHEEEEEE is definitely a closer approximation of the reality) or from across the Seine ensconced in a third-=floor hotel room and wrapped in the tangled embrace of an auburn-haired jewel-eyed, velvet-tongued demoiselle with her thighs over your earlobes...under which circumstances it is definitely kind of closer to "waahhhBWAH" "waahhhBWAH" !

Or so I am told.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 02:25 PM

Amos, a Parizhun sireen go hawwwHEEEEEE hawwwwHEEEEEE....sort obv like a mule played backwards you know.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 02:01 PM

ROTFLMAO!! Who'd a thunk we'd have typographic onomatopoetics contest imitating SIreens, of all things!! LOL!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 01:33 PM

Maybe, since they're water nymphs, they go AHWOOGA! AHWOOGA! like the old WW2 submarines did when they dived.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 01:03 PM

They go waahhhBWAHwaaaaahBWAHwaaaaahBWAH, like Parisian sireens.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 12:01 PM

Yaz,yaz, but do you go...HOOOOOOooooEEEEE..... or are you them French soundin' Cloozo-type sireens?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Guests: Thetis and Kalypso
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 10:28 AM

Dear friends,

Please! Neither we nor our forty-eight sisters have sirens on our backs. Nor are we accounted as less than extremely attractive to both men and women.

Drop down to our place sometime and find out why. After a few hours with us you'll never enjoy a landlubberess again.

Love,

T & K


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 10:25 AM

An' even if you feel squared wiv Tweed, please send him a few sujjestchuns annyway as he obviuously enjoys them a lot...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 09:53 AM

Ony yesturday I seen Wild Bill eating salad in a tv commercial. He had a strap-on siren an' was bein' spanked vigamouslly by a fine lookin' woman wif roojed avocados while the sireen went HOOOOOOoooooEEEE....

At least I think that's what I seen. It ran purdy late and woke me up from a sound sleep on the USA channel.

Rustic, I went and mooned the moon like you sed and got caught by the local police who whupped me wif radishes and tied me to the flag pole down at the town square. I hope this squares you and me as I feel thet I habv gone above and beyond to recclify ar bond obv frendship.
Ef you kin think obv enny obver display to mek you satisfied let me know an' I will try to schedool it accordianly.
Yore Sarvant,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 06:04 AM

Dear RR,

I think your mind is wonderful vivid and full of color.

Dear LH:

You're mistaken. He just couldn't keep up. He is overweight in mind and body and doesn't quite click like he did bck when he was only in his 50s. He's overly vunerable to little things like gravity and inertia and his dexterity is badly compromised. His wit stops by for occasionaly visits, and his memory turns on nce a week just in case anyting interesting has crept into it by mistake, but by and large he couldn't handle MOAB if it crawled in to bed with him. (Which we will NOT let it do!!) He's dull, man! He sings off key, can't focus and needs help with his polyester tops.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 14 Mar 04 - 02:30 AM

Nah! We're just hesitant to post anything "cutting edge" for fear that Shatner will post here. We're trying to stay out of Shat's field of view. It's sorta like avoiding the crushing bore at a dinner party.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 11:20 PM

I note that William Shatner has not dropped in here in some time. This means that the MOABS has ceased to be relevant. It's no longer cutting edge. Sad. I fear it's too late to do anything to change that.

- LH


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 07:03 PM

Okay, so I'm really not embarrassed but, yes Tweed, I think you should go out and moon the moon anyway.

Set sirens on your back.

I can see it in my head.
You have a sea nymph on your back, the nymph is spanking and singing lurid songs to you, while your riding your pony.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,ZetaZetaZetah!
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 01:48 PM

well. If you really want it that way we can set the sirens on your back and spank you before you go in. i dont recoomend it though, being a pony girl is tough and hurts my back.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 01:26 PM

Ahhhhhhhh SO!!! You are clearly a madamoiselle of uncharted depths! MmmmmHM!! Multiple windows and number envy....I suppose you don't mind waiting until 7777? Or would you be satisfied with 3333?

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 12:21 PM

Well, Amos, I should explain that it was a little experiment, to see how many windows I could juggle and still see what I was doing when aiming at a numerical goal. Ever since you hit the big 2222, there has been a little number-envy in our midst.

SRS


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 12:18 PM

SRS:

I would want you to put in each of the above posts, were it not too late, some sparkling dissertaion or pithy slice of truth or p'raps a succinct vignette or haiku in which the Spirit of the MOAB might resonate!!

But I suppose it is too late.

Sigh.

Sometimes I hate numbers...


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 11:55 AM

2300

Just wasting a little time this morning.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 11:54 AM

2299


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 11:53 AM

2298


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 11:53 AM

2297


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 11:52 AM

2296


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 11:52 AM

2295


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 11:52 AM

2294


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 11:32 AM

I yam so danged sorry Rustic thet I made mention obv melons, moons, stars, rooje or ennything else thet wuld embarrass you in enny way. In fack I am flogging myself vigomously wif barbed wire as I type. Please forgibv my indissertion, I will try an do better. Roojed melons habv no place in a discursion on BS at all and in all liklihude, git me varnished for life. Tonite I will go out and moon the moon ef you think it will do sum gude.
Yerz,
Tweed


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 09:55 AM

RR:

I am most embarassed by yore embarassment, ma'a'am and I heartily apologize for contributing to any discussion about melons in association with your own superior structure. Thank you for coming back to the MOAB, where you are welcome and wanted.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 03:09 AM

You mean I have to leave this intelligible conversation to go look at some fat naked guy in the shower? Rapaire, I hope you bathe with melons.
Now, I think I have to defend myself and some talk about melons.
I referred to the moon, in another post as a melon, but oh-no, nobody ran with that...
Instead someone had to embarrass me to the point of not posting on MOAB for three days.
Instead, some perverted mind picks up on a mention of the sweet fruit of the loins and turns it into the sweet fruit of the breasts, and thought they should run with it, (and you all know of who I speakith(sp?) of).
If I were a nursing mother and my breasts dripping of the sweet juices like a melon, I would certainly excuse such talk, but since I am not a nursing mother dripping of the sweet juices I can only surmise that someone needs to go out into to the forest and bare there bareness to the moon.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Mar 04 - 01:23 AM

I like the "after" picture better, Rap. What was in that drink?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 04 - 11:20 PM

Looks downright civilized -- welcome to the club!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 04 - 11:40 AM

Look again at the picture in Profiles. It's me before I get to work, and before my wife lets me out of the cage.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Mar 04 - 11:36 AM

That shore proves a heap, don't it? Here's a quote from a letter _I_ got from your father, Rapaire:

"It is with great regret that I inform you that my son, whom I cherish most deeply, is given to flights -- not to say rhapsodies -- of imagination at times, and as such can be found drifting occasionally, unmoored and fancy-free beyond the edges of normal reality. In spite of this he is a fine upstanding citizen, and I will vote for him as soon as his campaign is clarified...

With best regards,

Asomodeus P. Moloch, Paternal Edifice
Genuine Paternity or Bust!!"

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Mar 04 - 11:20 AM

Mom, I won't let you fall and not be able to get up!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 02:09 PM

Counterfeit! That's not Rapaire! It's Debbie Earl!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 01:13 PM

Nope,it's me. The picture was taken at work. To prove it, here's a quote from an email I just received:

"...great picture, son. You certainly do the family proud, and your parents and siblings are excusably vain about being related to someone like you.

Your Loving Father,
Moloch Asmodeus"


(sniff, sniff, sniffle)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 12:19 PM

Well, I don't belileve that's you, Rap. Too much cognitive dissonance, incompatabilities and such. That looks like some fat middle-aged guy dressed up in a Halloween costume because he can't find his role model. Not you at all!!

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 12:12 PM

Be it know to all MOABites that I, known throughout the Known and Unknown Universes and Dimensions, known throughout the Places Between, as "Rapaire", have deigned to post a picture of myself both at "Profiles" and at "Photos."

Women! Try not to swooon in delight! Men! Curb your jealousy!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Cookieless W.E.
Date: 11 Mar 04 - 04:00 AM

Uppsey Daisey


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 11:16 PM

Geeze, Rapaire!! Gag me with a spoon! It's under the couch, man.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 08:35 PM

What did you last play with it? Could it be ashamed and hiding in embarrassment? Might it be annoyed with you for not using it as often as you use, say, a capo? Did you somehow frighten the poor thing? Could you have made it feel so unloved and unwanted that it left home?

Remember, if you love it, let it go, and if it loves you it will return.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 08:17 PM

HELP!!! I can't find my slide! It's a regular nickel-plated Stevens Steel slide for lap-style/Dobro playing. I just used it a few days ago and I would swear I put it in the little catchall on the bookcase that all the small musical crap gets thrown into, but it's not there. I've looked everywhere I can think of. I've found two glass slides for bottleneck playing, a rolling capo, an autoharp tuning wrench, three string winders, two electronic tuners that need batteries, and an untold numbers of picks, but no Stevens. Has anybody seen it? If you have one and it gets lost, where do you usually find it? Do you think it might just be hiding and doesn't want to be found? Have I used it since Marion left? Maybe she stole it! Nah! She wouldn't do that! Maybe the Universe is trying to make me play banjo tonight! Or maybe, shudder, God wants me to start playing accordion!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 10:12 AM

Sorry. Flashback to all those lines I wrote after college.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 10:06 AM

Lucidity is optional, man...

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Mar 04 - 09:32 AM

Geez, Amos, don't you mean that there are 1100100 people and that there are 11001 of each?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 04 - 09:56 PM

Maybe 100 kinds of people -- those that understand binary, those that don't, those that do but deny it, those that don't but assert they do, -- 25 of each.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Mar 04 - 09:48 PM

Lucidity is optional. So are clothes, sanity, a job, the ability to play an instrument well or at all, education, grammar, spelling, sense, and almost everything else.

What is mandatory is that you understand that there are only 10 kinds of people in the world: those that understand binary and those that don't. Or maybe it's not mandatory. But whatever is not forbidden is required, and whatever is not required is forbidden, except that whatever is forbidden is not required, except in months with a "w" in them and/or during a full moon after the 12th of any month if the ambient temperature at standard pressure is greater than 0 degrees Kelvin.

Clear? Now, welcome.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 09 Mar 04 - 07:59 PM

Yeeeeehaaaaawwwww!!!!!! Sttaw Legend has posted to the MOAB!!!!

You do understand, Sttaw baby, that a single post does not mean you are a bona fide MOABite. You are now entitled to refer to yourself as "One Who Has Posted to the MOAB", but you must post repeatedly and spout copious amounts of unadulterated BS before you can call yourself a true MOABite.

Alternatively, if you have spouted copious amounts of unadulterated BS in other threads, or even in other forums, or in print, or on videotape, or if you happen to be a practicing member of any religious sect which worships Andy Kaufmann, Sam Kennison, The Three Stooges or The Marx Brothers, please provide documentation of said spouting in the form of links to appropriate posts, copies of appropriate publications or videotapes, or notarized documents certifying membership in appropriate religious sect and you will be afforded the title "Honorary MOABite" until such time as your actual posts to this, the Mother of All BS Threads have earned, for you, the right to call yourself a genuine MOABite.

By the way, the fact that your one post makes absolutely no grammatical sense will not be held against you. Lucidity is optional here on the MOAB.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Sttaw Legend
Date: 09 Mar 04 - 06:27 PM

Well that me posted on this mother f***er.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 09 Mar 04 - 06:27 PM

Hell no Amos. I still got three or four more weeks of gud ware on these!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Mar 04 - 06:17 PM

Wal, yew ain't sent her none o' yore undies either, I hope?


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