Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134] [1135] [1136]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Rapparee 24 Dec 03 - 01:13 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Dec 03 - 11:40 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Dec 03 - 11:37 PM
Little Hawk 23 Dec 03 - 11:25 PM
Amos 23 Dec 03 - 11:12 PM
khandu 23 Dec 03 - 10:54 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Dec 03 - 10:31 PM
Rustic Rebel 23 Dec 03 - 10:16 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Dec 03 - 08:40 PM
Amos 23 Dec 03 - 08:30 PM
Little Hawk 23 Dec 03 - 08:04 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Dec 03 - 08:02 PM
Little Hawk 23 Dec 03 - 11:32 AM
Tweed 23 Dec 03 - 11:20 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 23 Dec 03 - 10:15 AM
Amos 23 Dec 03 - 08:27 AM
Rapparee 23 Dec 03 - 06:55 AM
GUEST,William Shatner 23 Dec 03 - 12:39 AM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Dec 03 - 11:45 PM
Little Hawk 22 Dec 03 - 11:27 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 22 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM
Amos 22 Dec 03 - 07:56 PM
Rapparee 22 Dec 03 - 06:04 PM
Amos 21 Dec 03 - 11:53 PM
Little Hawk 21 Dec 03 - 11:23 PM
khandu 21 Dec 03 - 10:54 PM
khandu 21 Dec 03 - 10:23 PM
Amos 21 Dec 03 - 10:20 PM
khandu 21 Dec 03 - 09:34 PM
Rapparee 21 Dec 03 - 09:33 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Dec 03 - 09:28 PM
khandu 21 Dec 03 - 09:26 PM
Rapparee 21 Dec 03 - 08:47 PM
Tweed 21 Dec 03 - 08:35 PM
Amos 21 Dec 03 - 08:17 PM
Little Hawk 21 Dec 03 - 08:05 PM
khandu 21 Dec 03 - 07:53 PM
CarolC 21 Dec 03 - 07:48 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 21 Dec 03 - 07:29 PM
Amos 21 Dec 03 - 07:18 PM
Little Hawk 21 Dec 03 - 06:54 PM
Tweed 21 Dec 03 - 05:05 PM
Little Hawk 20 Dec 03 - 11:46 PM
CarolC 20 Dec 03 - 11:36 PM
Rapparee 20 Dec 03 - 10:38 PM
khandu 20 Dec 03 - 10:34 PM
Rapparee 20 Dec 03 - 10:26 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 20 Dec 03 - 10:12 PM
Amos 20 Dec 03 - 07:31 PM
Rustic Rebel 20 Dec 03 - 07:03 PM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:



Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 01:13 PM

MO-ab!! MO-ab!! Gotta have MO-ab!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:40 PM

MOAB rhymes with Ahab
(the Captain, or the Arab).
It also rhymes with taxicab
and a Brylcreen user's little dab.

MOABites have the gift of gab
and wit that pierces with a stab.
Minds sharp and lean (no fat or flab)
that snap like pinchers on a crab.

With all these rhyming words to grab
any other way to say MOAB
would be offensive, dull and drab
and make us far less prone to blab.

Now if we pronounce MOAB "mobe"
and contemplate this lonely globe
while wearing nothing but a robe
(it's somewhat like the trials of Job).

We soon run out of words that rhyme
"mobe" just won't work most of the time.
To end the same on every line
you'll see that MOAB works just fine.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:37 PM

Kandu- could you please put Mo-ab to a rhyme so I can grasp your version of pronunciation. I am inclined to go the easy way out and probe the moab.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:25 PM

That was nasty, Amos.   I am gonna have to have Chongo contact some of the simian muscle-boys in your area and shake you down. No free bananas for you this Christmas, boyo!

Now I am turning this thing off and getting some sleep. Good night.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:12 PM

Moe-Abh!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:54 PM

AHHHH! RR. Music to my Royal Ears! I thank thee!

She brings up a point. . . the pronunciation of MOAB! Rustic Rebel rhymed it with "probe" as though it is pronounced "Mobe".

I have ever pronounced it as "Mo-Ab".

How do the rest of you Moabites pronounce "Moab"?

Kk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:31 PM

Ps. Carol- it looks more like a camel wearing an eel shawl and doc marten boots went through your truck. Damn glad your all ok woman. You definitely had more damage than I did. I had a great outcome for my bird through window thing. I finally got some windows washed upstairs!

While I'm back here- I had to post to Tweed board the other night because I was feeling so overwhelmed with insight and inspiration and I couldn't get on the cafe for three days so thank you Tweed my bro for just being there. King Kantweedu- I did not forget to mention you while I was caught up in inspiration.the post went like this...

heard the ashes of this rebel thread, made a need inside if me to respond. I am at a loss right now, because I cannot post to the MOAB thread. So I 'll do it here because of need to be heard and it's inspirational(or not). And all I need is a choir to back me in case I become perspirational. (What the hell is that word?)
I admitt I think in terms of shit, every time I contemplate, and things are good , whenever I should... shit instead of constipate.
So where-ever I go I need to know that MOAB is a passion, and it doesn't matter how I dress, as long as it's in fashion (Ha-yeah I like that).
How-ever the time of love and joy, it is riding in the air- I'll remember the time I related my thoughts, while sitting at my computer bare.
It's funnier than hell as I proceed on this poem, that a need I have no desire to do. But it was asked, and I must respond to our faithfull King Khandu.
So I wish you a joyous Christmas day and I wish you a great holiday. I wish you great love and I wish you success and I wish you a roll in the hay.
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.


ok so i was drunk again... tis the season...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:16 PM

'Tis the season to be smegma

Don't know what it means but it rhymes with zmegma. la la
'Tis the season to be jolly
grab your friends and smoke some holly. fa la
'Tis the season to be happy
I feel love, I'm feelin' sappy la fa
'Tis the season to get layed
unless your a dog that has been spayed. la la la

'Tis the season to be prancy
if your gay and you've changed your name to Nancy. fa fa
'Tis the season of the MOAB
freds have performed many a mind probe. fa la
'Tis the season for having fun
Did I tell you all I'm really a nun? Fa la la la la.....la la la la.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:40 PM

Sorry, LH, the "S" item on the list is "solar heating". Not nearly as provocative as smegma, I know. But, remember that the list is limited to things about which we've never chit-chatted here on the MOAB. With this crowd the chances of smegma not having been discussed somewhere in its 1700+ post history are pretty slim. (Sorry, but I'm not going to reread the entire thing to make certain.)
Anyway, even if we've never discussed smegma previously, now we have discussed it so it is disqualified.

Wasn't "Smegma" the name of the Gollum character in Harvard Lampoon's LOTR parody Bored of the Rings?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:30 PM

Little Hawk:

In your case, it is too late.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:04 PM

So, when do we get to hear all about smegma?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:02 PM

Yes, folks! Once again it's time for our daily installment of "Bee-dubya's stupid list of crap we've never talked about on the MOAB"!

Today's installment:

FOOTWEAR

In the summer I wear cheap rubber flip-flops. The rest of the time I wear Doc Marten boots. I've been wearing Doc Martens for ten or twelve years and am only on my second pair. They aren't cheap, but they sure do last. Cheap rubber flip-flops, on the other hand, don't last for shit, but who cares when they only cost a buck a pair?

Only twenty more exciting episodes to go!


BTW, this list is going on its Christmas hiatus for three or four days.

Happy first MOAB Christmas! May there be many more to come.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:32 AM

Yeah? I've got a better link than that! Go to...

* * * THE COMPLEAT APE-ENGLISH DICTIONARY * * * at...

http://www.ac.wwu.edu/~stephan/Tarzan/tarzan.dict.html

Street-ape patios is a big feature in any Chongo Chimp story, and it's all here! Edgar Rice Burroughs is the one human being that all apes truly respect and revere, kind of like the Chinese feel about Norman Bethune (the Canadian doctor)...or the Apaches did about the army scout, Al Sieber.

George


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 11:20 AM

You habv showed grate restrante BDubz and shuld get a reward ob some sort or other. Tharfore I gibv undo you this link to the best danged Cajun and Zydeco station on the earth.

KBON RADIO FROM EUNICE, LOUISIANA!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 10:15 AM

I'm not going to post an absolutely gratuitous, pointless, nothing-to-say message just to get to post #1700. Nope! Not gonna do it. Not me.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 08:27 AM

Slashdot cubed? Go down three directories? WTFO??


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 06:55 AM

/. /. /.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 12:39 AM

You realize that in just a few more posts I will chime in again, just to let you all know who is still really in charge here on the bridge of Starship "Get A Life"...

Actually...I don't have to now, do I? (grin)

Beam me up, Mr Scott. Our work here is done...at least until the next episode begins.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 11:45 PM

Speaking of P.R., haven't heard from the poor dear in a few. Hope she didn't get her knickers in a wad. Wait! Let me rephrase that... Hope she didn't get her knickers in a bigger wad than the one they're usually in. There. That's better.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 11:27 PM

Nailing an eel to a tree is a slippery proposition, not for the faint of heart, but I don't doubt that Penelope Rutledge would be capable of it if the eel gave significant offense to her.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM

Without further ado....

EELS

Americans do not eat eels. Europeans do eat eels. Many Americans do eat catfish. I don't know if Europeans eat catfish or not. I imagine they do. Anybody that would voluntarilly eat an eel shouldn't have any problem with a catfish.

One of my favorite fiddle tunes is "Nail That Catfish to the Tree". I doubt it would have the same appeal if it was called "Nail That Eel to the Tree".

To fish for eels is to sniggle and a person who fishes for eels is a sniggler. This is good to know if you do a lot of crossword puzzles. It is also a seven-letter word in Scrabble which will get you an extra fifty points.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 07:56 PM

I always suspected Rapaire was a scopolapsist, and now he has confessed. That means he thinks the whole world is caused to exist by motion sickness. This philosophy is spreading rapidly because it touches a chord in many people, for some reason, but I do not trust it.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 03 - 06:04 PM

Freshmeat, redmeat...it's all Linux to me.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 11:53 PM

Red Meat is a long-term rap by a really ellipsoidal mind. I love 'em!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 11:23 PM

The Karen and Milkman Dan episodes may just be the sickest running joke routine in what is an amazingly sick comic strip, Khandu. Gotta love it, eh? :-) Bug-eyed Earl is pretty weird too.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 10:54 PM

Heck,why not?? Here's another!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 10:23 PM

See! I was Right About the Manatee!!

& I will be proven right about the damned cats!!!!

Kk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 10:20 PM

Khandu --

When your area graduates from outhouses, you will learn about rudimentary indoor plumbing with high-on-the-wall flush tanks which are activated by puling a chain. BWL is trying to tell you that he thinks I am made of porcelain, an obvious delusion. The only thing I have in common with porcelain is that we both feel the quality of mercy is not strained...or shouldn't be, in any case.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 09:34 PM

Uh...the "yanking the chain"...is that another term for "flogging the mule" or "choking the chicken"?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 09:33 PM

If you ain't had processed mastoid, you ain't et.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 09:28 PM

Tweed - (and I'm talking to the original Tweed here - the expatriate Indianan, current South Floridian, Mayor of Tweedburg etc. - not the incoherent babbling fount of BS masquerading as The King of Mississippi currently calling himself "Tweed Sploodge")

I think what Amos said was that my attempt at yankin' his chain was successful.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 09:26 PM

I don't like mastoids. Neither did God...that's why he killed them off. He did like the concept however,so He made elephants instead!

BTW, I am in conference with Him about the cat problem!

Kk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 08:47 PM

If 'tis true, 'tis a pity, and the pity 'tis, 'tis true.

I don't use Dramamine; I prefer those scopolamine patches you stick on your mastoid process.

There, I said it: mastoid process. Right out in public, too!

A new topic! I'll betcha that the mastoid process hasn't been discussed much on Mudcat! New ground to break!

Mastitis is another area for fruitful discussion.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 08:35 PM

WHUT THE HAIL??? Whudidyou just say Amos???


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 08:17 PM

Dramamine might cure you of making sweeping value judgements about areas whose residents, sir, you wot knot of! An' t'were so, 'twould be for the better of it, methinks!

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 08:05 PM

Your line of reasoning is impeccable, Khandu. I think you should consider becoming a full-time crime analyst and consultant, and assist hardworking primate eyes like Chongo Chimp, who are out there busting their little simian asses on the streets so the rest of us can sleep safe and secure at night in our comfy beds.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 07:53 PM

YES!!!! Tweed...or Twandu...whatever, whoever... , The evil felines are being revealed at last! I have known for centuries how diabolicial these hideous creatures are, yet none would listen. Yes! My own Royal Grandpappy was murdered & devoured by his "sweet little kitty cats". Everyone said it was the work of the mob, but not me. . .I knew better!
I spent decades in research trying to prove to the world this evil. Unfortunately, these accursed felines are clever. I have no "smoking gun" but I offer these facts:
1. . . The word "feline" has 6 letters, as does "murder"!! In fact, if you rearrange the letters of "feline", take out some & add a few others, you have the word "murder"!!

2. . . Self-respecting dogs hate cats & remember dogs are men's best friend! Hence, cats are men's worst enemy!

3. . . Cat's carry "concealed weapons", their claws!!

4. . . I don't have a "4" but I do have a "5".

5. . . Cat's are totally self-centered. . . even their speech is "me" centered (ME-ow)!!

6. . . Conundrum magazine did a survey in the late 1940's which showed that 97% of all humans detested the smell of cat crap. . . a mere 73% detested the aroma of dog doo! Incredibly,
the same survey was re-ran ian 1998 with the EXACT SAME RESULTS!!!
A strange twist to this was another survey that ran concurrently with, yet independently of both the Conundrum surveys which showed that 3% of all humans are insanely evil!

Could this 3% of insanely evil humans be the same 3% that does not detest the smell of cat crap???

No, no conclusive proof, but you must admit, there are heavy questions here!

Kk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 07:48 PM

If you have a cold, Dramamine would probably help, since it's an antihistamine. I''m feeling pretty crappy myself, but I think it's probably just corn-poisoning.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 07:29 PM

You will please make note of the fact that the incident occurred in California, not in any part of the rational world. There is absolutely no telling what the poor cats in question had been subjected to in the ways of orgies, dope parties, Satanic rituals and all the other lively social events for which California is so well known. If it had taken place in Panama City instead of Panorama City the cats would have called 911. It's not that southern cats are any smarter than average, just that they aren't subjected to the ravages of the Califirnia lifestyle.


And now, for tonight's installment in BWL's stupid damned list....

DRAMAMINE

Another drug I know nothing about. I don't get seasick.

Okay, so it's not proper BS. Isn't one of the definitions of BS "attempting to appear knowlegeable about something about which you really know very little"? So, I'm copping out. I should be spouting pseudo-knowledge, but I just don't feel like it. I have a cold, complete with screwed up equilibrium and dizzy spells.

Hmmmm.... Wonder if Dramamine would help.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 07:18 PM

Nothing cannibalistic about it for the cats to want a little white meat from their keeper. Why should that be cannibalistic? Nipping on the dog, same thing!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 06:54 PM

Great story, Tweed. I hasten to add that chimps do not do this sort of thing at all, and I hope that is clear to everyone.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Tweed
Date: 21 Dec 03 - 05:05 PM

CATS TRY TO EAT OWNER!

A group of hungry cats began to eat their 86-year-old owner after she suffered an apparent stroke and couldn't get up for nearly a week, officials said Thursday.

Mae Lowrie, who lives with seven cats, was discovered unconscious and riddled with bite marks Wednesday night at her Panorama City apartment, Fire Department and hospital officials said.

"The cats were trying to survive in the conditions that they were in, faced with the outcome they had. They did what they had to do to survive," animal control Officer Ernesto Poblano told KABC-TV. "The cats were all emaciated, very, very emaciated."

The cats, apparently without food for that time, also tried to eat Lowrie's small dog, said Jackie David, a spokeswoman for the city Animal Services Department. The terrier showed signs of hypothermic shock, severe dehydration, respiratory illness and was later euthanized, she said.


It is obvious that animal control has taken the cats' side and claiming temporary insanity on their behalf. I am certain that this is not an isolated instance and if these cannibals are allowed to go free we will all be in danger of being ripped to shreds by feral felines and devoured alive by roving packs of the beasts. I am surprised that no one else has found this disturbing enough to comment earlier! Possibly the major networks have not covered the story for fear of mass rioting, but I heard on NPR that the terror level has been jogged up a notch today for somewhat mysterious reasons...

Yerz,
Tweed...or Twandu...whatever, whoever...


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 11:46 PM

Old ad from the 50's: "Nine out of ten doctors prefer camels." The tenth prefers women.

EXTRA!!!

This is so cool it's almost incredible...the Orillia Packet today published an article about a Chimpanzee retirement home, to be built soon in Shreveport, La. I kid you not. The home is for "Over-the-hill chimpanzees who will soon spend their retirement years in a Louisiana old folks home."

"Construction has begun on Chimp Haven, planned as the only preserve dedicated to chimps who have been retired as entertainers or as subjects of laboratory research. Up to 300 chimps will find themselves on 80 hectares of grass and woods for foraging, climbing, and monkeying around."

Etc..Etc... I am dead serious. This is really happening.

Chongo would be very, very happy about this. In fact, he is very happy about it, although he's not planning to retire any time soon.

- LH


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: CarolC
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 11:36 PM

Wow, Rustic Rebel. That's uncanny. Last Friday the same exact thing happened to us. Only in our case it was a huge buck deer flying through our car window. Check it out:

Picture 1

Picture 2

I'm glad you weren't hurt. We weren't hurt either.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 10:38 PM

Was he gonna teach her about the vas deferens between men and women?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: khandu
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 10:34 PM

On her 18th birthday, a sweet Mississippi girl came to her uncle. "Uncle Fred, I just turned 18 & I'm ready to go to Florida!"

"Whaddaya mean you're ready to go to Florida?"

You said when I turn 18, you's gonna take me to Florida!"

"No, sweetie, I said when you turn 18, I's gonna tampa with you!"

Kk


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 10:26 PM

There are (or were) lots of camels just south of Kokomo, Indiana, on US 31. On the right side of the road as you head south towards Indianapolis.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 10:12 PM

CAMELS

I saw a camel just a few weeks ago.
I was driving south on Interstate 75 toward Tampa.

I saw lots of cows and horses too,
but just one camel.

The camel was in a field all alone.
Just one camel with no cows or horses around.

Why anyone in central Florida would have a camel
is a mystery to me.

Why the people of central Florida would worship a mouse
is also a mystery to me.

There must be a connection between the camel and the mouse.
I just haven't found it yet.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 07:31 PM

Well, dear R, p'raps the Universe was trying to act like an alarming clock, and get ou up in a hurry!

Helluva waste of a good grouse, though.    Next time some broad is whinging and complaining and nattering and carping at me, I'm gonna say, "Hey!! Knock it off!! You think grouses grow on trees???"

So, see? It was not for naught!! We got a good line out of your ordeal!


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 20 Dec 03 - 07:03 PM

It's all going to be okay Kantweedu. Really it will be!

I have to tell you a story about what happened this morning. I was just waking up and lying in bed and all of a sudden there is a huge glass explosion like someone had shot out my windows. Then I hear a fluttering to the back of my bed, so I knew what happened. I get up and at first it looked like a hawk, but then I picked up the bird and see it's a grouse. The bird flew right through my storm window and through one pane of my interior french style window and landed inside. The poor little thing. It died in my hands. But talk about a trip. The sound was so loud it scared the hell out of me, and just what I wanted to do was get up this morning and have a bird die in my hands and clean up two broken windows that are on the second story.
If it hadn't been for my curtain I would have been showered with glass, because the window is right above my head. So I consider myself lucky that way. Luckier than the grouse!

PS. King oh King Kantweedu- I will attempt a poem just for your asking but I seem to have a block going on right now. I can't rhyme for reason right now, or think for treason.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 22 November 1:46 PM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.