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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

gnu 15 Jun 14 - 08:39 AM
Acme 15 Jun 14 - 02:16 AM
gnu 15 Jun 14 - 01:32 AM
Rapparee 14 Jun 14 - 10:38 PM
gnu 14 Jun 14 - 02:03 PM
gnu 14 Jun 14 - 07:46 AM
Rapparee 13 Jun 14 - 10:27 PM
gnu 13 Jun 14 - 06:13 PM
Amos 13 Jun 14 - 02:32 PM
Rapparee 13 Jun 14 - 01:19 PM
Acme 13 Jun 14 - 11:03 AM
gnu 12 Jun 14 - 08:04 PM
Amos 12 Jun 14 - 07:34 PM
Acme 12 Jun 14 - 04:59 PM
Rapparee 12 Jun 14 - 03:25 PM
Amos 12 Jun 14 - 12:42 PM
gnu 12 Jun 14 - 06:06 AM
Acme 12 Jun 14 - 12:44 AM
gnu 11 Jun 14 - 05:23 PM
gnu 11 Jun 14 - 04:57 PM
Amos 11 Jun 14 - 03:10 PM
Ebbie 11 Jun 14 - 03:07 PM
Acme 11 Jun 14 - 02:07 PM
Amos 11 Jun 14 - 11:22 AM
Rapparee 11 Jun 14 - 11:21 AM
Amos 10 Jun 14 - 09:59 PM
beardedbruce 10 Jun 14 - 10:39 AM
Acme 10 Jun 14 - 10:27 AM
Rapparee 10 Jun 14 - 10:14 AM
gnu 10 Jun 14 - 06:07 AM
Rapparee 09 Jun 14 - 11:56 PM
gnu 09 Jun 14 - 06:41 PM
beardedbruce 09 Jun 14 - 05:03 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 14 - 04:39 PM
Amos 09 Jun 14 - 04:33 PM
gnu 09 Jun 14 - 03:58 PM
Acme 09 Jun 14 - 01:04 PM
Rapparee 09 Jun 14 - 12:28 PM
gnu 09 Jun 14 - 08:26 AM
Acme 08 Jun 14 - 11:09 PM
Rapparee 08 Jun 14 - 05:51 PM
gnu 08 Jun 14 - 02:08 PM
Amos 08 Jun 14 - 11:56 AM
Acme 08 Jun 14 - 11:43 AM
Rapparee 08 Jun 14 - 10:59 AM
Amos 08 Jun 14 - 01:10 AM
Rapparee 07 Jun 14 - 10:36 PM
gnu 07 Jun 14 - 06:05 PM
Amos 07 Jun 14 - 01:34 PM
gnu 07 Jun 14 - 06:37 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 08:39 AM

No, I don't think the cop was outta line. If you start moving a guy along and he gets owly with ya, ya gotta do what ya gotta do. He wasn't rough with the. He was... ah... using due force.

A dog? I don't have time for a dog. I gotta eat, sleep, cook for Mum, take care of two properties... Why, if I had a dog, I wouldn't have any time to waste on the internUt. Hmmmm...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 02:16 AM

Sounds like a bit of an over-reaction by the local gendarme, gnu. Any idea who the inebriated one was?

Headed to bed myself. I slept late because I did and now I'm up late because I am. Dogs snoring quietly on the floor (why don't you get a dog, Gary - it could have barked at the back door, a canine version of "move along, my good fellow!")


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 14 - 01:32 AM

It's near the little 2-thirty on the o'clock and I can't sleep. The RCMP didn't leave until near 1AM. Took a while for officer good lookin blond lady to take my statement.

I was havin a few ales whilst watchin the football game (soccer as you Yanks call it) and fell asleep in the chair as one often does whilst watchin the team with a one goal lead rag the puck in an adult game of keep-away. I woke nigh to midnight, proceeded to do the usual regimen... pee, floss, brush, gargle, check the perimeter. When I opened my back door to ensure all was secure, it was not. There was a person sitting on my back steps in what appeared to be a semi-conscious state. Closed and locked the door and dialed 911.

I'll forego the details but a lone HUGE RCMP officer arrived in a big van and said (when I got to the back door after talking to him out front), "Do not resist." and had his arm around buddy's neck. When he had him on the ground, knee in his back and holding both wrists with his massive left mitt, he said, "When a police officer tells you to do something, you don't resist." Buddy says, "I agree 110%. 115%." More details are available but not required for the gist of the story. Then a cruiser pulls up and... well... details are not important. What is important is the good looking blond lady RCMP (yes, even at such a time, I, being a male, was admiring her looks... sue me) took my statement and she wrote the works down which she then read back to me before I signed it and initialed the first page. That took a while.

Times have changed in the old hood. And I can't sleep and there's no football on the telly. Soooo, you gotta read this. Sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Jun 14 - 10:38 PM

Actually, I believe that was written by Dominic Behan. I think it was, anyway. I could just be testing you.

Went out and shot cowboys today. Did okay, but this was the first time my .45-70 was fired AND I didn't have to do it! That way if it blows up someone else is holding it. You learn these things as you get older. Shootin' ahrns are all tucked snugly in bed, bullets are bedded down Elsewhere, and I'm content with my score, whatever it was. Won't do it again until August (gonna be out of town in July).

Mom knows what a good boy I've been, and yes, I can play the trumpet AND sing AND play the bodhran AND the piano AND the banjo at the same time if I should want to do so. Which I don't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 14 - 02:03 PM

Fondly thinking of the British Crown today by recalling a song I used to be able to sing in praise with great gusto.

God Bless England

Oh, I'll tell you a tale of peace and love
Whack fol the diddle o the die do day
Of a land that reigns all lands above
Whack fol the diddle o the die do day
May peace and plenty be her share
Who kept our homes from want and care
Oh, God bless England is our prayer
Whack fol the diddle o the die do day

Chorus:
Whack fol the diddle o the die do day
So we say "hip hooray"
Come and listen while we pray (1st chorus only)
Whack fol the diddle o the die do day

Now our fathers oft were naughty boys
For pikes and guns are dangerous toys
At Ballinahabwee and at Bunker's hill
We made poor England cry her fill
But old Brittania loves us still

God bless England so we pray (remaining choruses)

Now, when we were savage, fierce and wild
She came as a mother to her child
Gently raised us from the slime
And kept our hands from hellish crime
And she sent us to heaven in our own good time

Well, now Irish men forget the past
And think of the day that's coming fast
When we shall all be civilized
Neat and clean and well advised
Oh, won't mother England be surprised?


God Bless England lyrics - Tommy Makem | AllTheLyrics.com


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 14 - 07:46 AM

I figured you could do both at the same time, omnipotent one.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 10:27 PM

I did a good deed once. I stopped singing and took up the trumpet.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 06:13 PM

So. I am up ta yer Sobeys and only get in two good deeds. Off ta yer Coop. As I am walking ta the door, I spot a middle aged woman putting her last item in her car so I strode over and said, "Grab yer wallet, Maam, and I'll take the cart back for you. She reaches for her wallet and says, angrily, "I wasn't DONE, quite YET." after I had the cart about 6 feet toward the door. I turned and said, "That's why I told you to grab your wallet." The ensuing spew of crap from her led me to say, on my walk to the Coop, loudly, "Have a nice day." Then, while she was still ranting, I said, so she could not hear, "Stupid bitch." just as a gentleman was passing by on his way to his car, about ten feet away from me. She was still ranting but I was oblivious.

I began inspecting the hanging flower pots near the front door and the gentleman returned and approached me and asked me what she said. I recounted the encounter. Then, he recounted his encounter with her about 30 minutes prior upon parking at the Coop and added, "So, it isn't just you she is mad at... it's the world." Nice guy that took time out of his day to do a good deed. Made me feel good and I thanked him graciously.

What goes around comes around, eh? Good deeds included. Made my day.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 02:32 PM

Especially before-and-after-chewing side by side photos.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 01:19 PM

Tell her to provide close-ups of the food -- REALLY close up close ups. Like the texture of the bread and stuff.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Jun 14 - 11:03 AM

She's probably hitting facebook via restaurant WiFi, hence the preponderance of food photos. I've removed a couple of my remarks (asking for a wider view of what she's seeing) so maybe she'll stop the pushback (only posting phood photos). Psychology 201 - child-rearing and more.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 08:04 PM

All things glow in Japan due to that fucked up Shima. Getting worse if you follow the news. About 1/3 of young children recently tested in the prefecture and close by it have been referred for further testing for thyroid disease (cancer). One old fellah found out his crops that were cleared to be sold were contaminated and he committed suicide. The 'news' is not readily found but it is available. It's tragic and frightening. Amos... I hope you are not eating any tuna.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 07:34 PM

I don't need an big old jet plane
I don't need my own sampan
All I want is you with me
And moonglow in Japan.
To walk the streets of Tokyo
With you my geisha-san
To sip some rice wine on the shore,
ANd moonglow in Japan.

Irving Dusseldorf
Tin Plate Alley, 1928


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 04:59 PM

Moonglow is in Japan for a week. So far posting photos of meals. I hope she looks up from her plate and examines the countryside around her. In one photo I see my the strap of my camera (a loaner) around her neck, so I know she has intentions to take photos and look around. :)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 03:25 PM

Actually and really I've used both a slipstick AND a slapstick. The latter was during my career on stage...top billing in, for example, Shaw's "Androcles". The critics were unanimous in their praise for my role, but I left it for tech so I could set fire to Dracula.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 12:42 PM

Evil black harbingers of chaotic dissipation, be gone!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 06:06 AM

I woke at 5AM with a song playing in my head. It went... Caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw; CHO : Caw, caw, caw, caw, caw, caw.

I call it, "Die Crow Die". That's the short title.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 12 Jun 14 - 12:44 AM

Brown dogs snoring softly on the floor beside my chair. All is right with the world.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Jun 14 - 05:23 PM

INCORRECT! I feel deep shame. To right this wrong...

"Sunday Morning After"


I woke up with a killer hangover
Hope it was worth all this pain
(I'd do it all over again)
By the time the party was over
Tequila was my claim to fame
(I couldn't remember my name)

I was dancing with Jake when I last saw my keys
That was my first mistake
'Cause, what happened to me?
I look down at my arm, baby
And something's lookin' back at me
And I cannot believe it

[CHORUS:]
Oh my God!-- I woke up with a snake tattoo
Oh my God!-- and I think that my tongue's pierced, too
Oh my God!-- Oh my God!
It's the sunday morning after
And baby, who the hell are you?

I remember yelling, "Hey, DJ!"
"Jack the volume, I love this song!"
(And then it all gets hazy)
And my clothes are selling on e-bay (clickclick)
And I don't know what I'm gonna put on
(Where were my friends to save me?)

I blacked out I came to
And it's all such a blur
Had a blast, I assume
But I'm really not sure
Exactly where am I now, baby?
Wake up and tell me your name (Excuse Me?)
'Cause this is insane

[CHORUS]

Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
My alter ego took over and took me on a fantasy ride
You can take me anywhere twice
But the second time will be to apologize

[CHORUS x2]

Where am I...?, What am I...?, Who am I...?, How am I...?,
How did I...?...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 11 Jun 14 - 04:57 PM

I remember sayin

Hey DJ
Jack the volume
I love this song

Snake Tattoo, Amanda Marshall (amazing talent; her body of work spans all genres)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 14 - 03:10 PM

Well, I've used slapstick
And I've used bright riposte
So many entendres
That they've doubled my ghost
I've used alienation
And folksongs in swirls
Just to get a small smile
From a pretty girl.

Bob Dylan Thomas Jr.
Good Songs from Bad Places
Manketo, MN, 1972


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jun 14 - 03:07 PM

And at 4:39 I read Rap's comment as "have half a dozen lipsticks around the house"


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 11 Jun 14 - 02:07 PM

When I read Amos' last post I saw I've used a slapstick and thought the conversation was taking a really interesting turn. Then I looked again. Oh, well.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 11 Jun 14 - 11:22 AM

The buh-buh-buh-buh-beat goes on. Raise MOM! Raise MOM! She raised you then, she needs you NOW!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Jun 14 - 11:21 AM

I get it, Amos -- you call someone with a slide rule to do the calculations!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 10 Jun 14 - 09:59 PM

I've used a slipstick but I wouldn't use one now. My phone does all that for me...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 10 Jun 14 - 10:39 AM

I was one of the last slide rule users in college. The SR-51 calculator was out, and everyone had one for Physics classes- BUT my part-time job was as an electronics tech for the cyclotron lab, and we were not allowed to take calculators into the working areas.

The background radiation was high enough to destroy the electronics in the calculator, and THEY were expensive- (unlike the student techs), so we had to use slide rules when working in the experimental areas.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 10 Jun 14 - 10:27 AM

A retired engineer friend (the folks I stayed with in the Davis Mountains during the car debacle) tells me that slide rules are collectible and becoming expensive on eBay. I used to have a couple around the house from my high school and undergraduate days.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Jun 14 - 10:14 AM

Actually, since the demise of the slide rule I have to do all of my calculations beyond 20 using pieces of knotted string, but I now have so many pieces of knotted string that my calculatin' gets confused sometimes. Just the other day I misread a knot and used 3000 kg. of slurry to toss a golf green -- I was upset, bu cheered by the golfers because they now CANNOT miss the 8th hole.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 10 Jun 14 - 06:07 AM

If I ever come across one of the larger ones, it'll show up in yer mailbox.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 14 - 11:56 PM

How much would one cost me?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jun 14 - 06:41 PM

I got at least three of them, Rap. Somewhere. Don't ask me where. Amos was here for a visit and he can attest to the difficulty of finding anything but the Bud in this fettered and unkempt nest that I sleep and create in. I had one that would fit in my shirt pocket. Alas, likely lost forever until someone discovers it whilst cleaning out my house for the auction after my demise. "What am I bid for this? Going, going... GONE... to the trash."


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: beardedbruce
Date: 09 Jun 14 - 05:03 PM

An E-6, perhaps? ( Flight)



I can get it for you...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 14 - 04:39 PM

It is possible that we not only have half a dozen slipsticks around the house, but a rather thick book on how to use them.

I always wanted a circular slide rule but I suppose now it is never to be. Sigh.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jun 14 - 04:33 PM

Antiquating math is like retiring concepts--they always come back sooner or later, and are always useful in the right context. Anyone who doesn't know what Fibonacci means (and it is not a flavor of exotic ice cream) doesn't deserve a degree.

I love your sliderule story, Gnuzer.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jun 14 - 03:58 PM

I still prefer a slide rule for most engineering calculations in heavy civil construction. Well, I did when I was a injuneer just a few years back. Lots faster than a calculator and it just seemed to "feel more real". Heheheee... I recall I had one senior tech working for me doing a simple fuel containment dyke grade design. He was using AutoCadd on his computer and he couldn't match a 20mm grade difference. I said, "Buddy, yer gonna be on site so you can see what gravel is." He was not amused. He did a cut/fill estimate with a new fancy PC program on a 2km access road from a highway to an outport in NF. Took him 4 days. He brought it to me and before I looked at it, I looked at the survey plans and borehole analyses for about 30 minutes, made a few mental notes, slided some rule for 5 minutes and said, "180,000 cut and 40,000 fill with 20,000 blast." He stared at me. I waived my slide rule and said, "Computers suck." Ahhhh... I long for the good old days when engineers were engineers and CETs were guys who drew stuff and detailed drawings. Ya can't stop progress they say... or regression, unfortunately.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 09 Jun 14 - 01:04 PM

If they're not buttons on a calculator, chances are students today haven't heard of most of those things.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jun 14 - 12:28 PM

Just a few days in Philly for her college reunion. She graduated a half a century ago so her math is all out of date now. Logarithms, Fibonacci sequences, calculus, quadratics -- all antiquated and of no more use! Quelle dommage!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jun 14 - 08:26 AM

144 snapdragons = $60; hanging baskets are $6.50 at Coop on Thursday in the Father's Day sale so I will be there 30 minutes before they open.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jun 14 - 11:09 PM

I didn't know Pat was gone. I hope she doesn't kill herself walking into the house through the rubble you've created during her absence.

gnu, I'm sure you can find a fine new mop from any number of merchants in your town.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 14 - 05:51 PM

Pat comes back tomorrow afternoon!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 08 Jun 14 - 02:08 PM

Crappy day here. Sunny, 25C, not much of a breeze. Guess I'll just have to keep my windows shut and hunker down. Do some writing. Some housework. Wanted to mop floors but my mop broke in two. At least that's one good thing.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 14 - 11:56 AM

We who sell our souls for the sake of art, crafting words and songs that reflect the velleities of the very soul, do not work for Mammon. Mainly because Mammon won't talk to us, and is always busy doing her hair or washing her dog or something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 08 Jun 14 - 11:43 AM

We seem to have become a society of people unwilling to pay for things of quality if we think we can get them for free. Some things should be free, but the idea of saving up for important things is devalued now.

Raining here today so I don't get to mow the lawn. Maybe tomorrow morning. I still have a couple of ideas to work on to more thoroughly dog-proof the back fence. And I need to get another collar from the Invisible Fence folks. I'm thinking an essay and a conversation about a deep discount. I know I've sold a lot of people on it with my essay about the possum that got in the yard. Something similar happened with a turtle this week.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Jun 14 - 10:59 AM

Amos play here?

Elks Lodge seamy dive. Have smoking room. No pay. I buy dinner beer. Amos ride rods here stay hobo camp. Learn how Wobblies live. Good training for Amos.


Your more humble and devotionless servant,
The Man Of Few Words


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 08 Jun 14 - 01:10 AM

Rapparee has become a man of few words, like < .1!

Spent the afternoon knocking out tunes at the Greek Sombrero, a charming rustic bar in the East County. Tomorrow afternoon it's The Renegade Honky Tonk, an even more remote hiding place for those who want to knock out good music in good company.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Jun 14 - 10:36 PM


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jun 14 - 06:05 PM

Yes, A. Took 12 minutes after the plane with the high tech camera was over the area... 11:58 to 12:10. It was on loan from the federal oceanographic service out of Halifax. "We are over the target area. There's a human crouching behind a tree where no human should be in lockdown." SWAT had him at 12:10.

THEN, it gets really complicated. But, Mom don't wanna hear about his buddy getting shot by RCMP last July that was not killed by the 4 bullets but by "prior stab wounds" according to the coroner's report... the thought plickens.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jun 14 - 01:34 PM

It seems they arrested the gentleman in question, yes?

I was up until midnight, rocking out at the Moose Lodge, a wonderfully seamy place in a back pocket of civilization over in Spring Valley with a good stage and a decent bar. 24 ounces of Amber Bock, and some first class harp playing, drums and bass, and I am good to go all night long.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 07 Jun 14 - 06:37 AM

Well said, all. Turning to a happier subject, we are having a real old fashioned spring here. "Close all the windows by mid morning" hot for several days and then, well, as I type, it's a damp and breezy 10C and you know what THAT means... roast chicken dinner!


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