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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 19 Dec 13 - 10:16 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 13 - 09:09 PM
gnu 19 Dec 13 - 06:27 PM
Acme 19 Dec 13 - 05:25 PM
gnu 19 Dec 13 - 01:11 PM
Pete Jennings 19 Dec 13 - 12:34 PM
Rapparee 19 Dec 13 - 11:25 AM
Rapparee 19 Dec 13 - 12:29 AM
Amos 19 Dec 13 - 12:00 AM
gnu 18 Dec 13 - 09:27 PM
Rapparee 18 Dec 13 - 09:09 PM
Acme 18 Dec 13 - 03:21 PM
gnu 18 Dec 13 - 10:38 AM
Rapparee 18 Dec 13 - 09:18 AM
gnu 18 Dec 13 - 06:46 AM
Amos 18 Dec 13 - 03:45 AM
Rapparee 17 Dec 13 - 09:54 PM
gnu 17 Dec 13 - 02:29 PM
gnu 17 Dec 13 - 01:33 PM
Pete Jennings 17 Dec 13 - 12:55 PM
Acme 17 Dec 13 - 12:41 PM
Rapparee 17 Dec 13 - 10:11 AM
Rapparee 17 Dec 13 - 10:08 AM
Pete Jennings 17 Dec 13 - 06:26 AM
gnu 17 Dec 13 - 06:17 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 13 - 10:01 PM
Amos 16 Dec 13 - 07:49 PM
gnu 16 Dec 13 - 01:30 PM
Ebbie 16 Dec 13 - 11:48 AM
Rapparee 16 Dec 13 - 10:19 AM
gnu 16 Dec 13 - 10:11 AM
GUEST 16 Dec 13 - 09:05 AM
GUEST 16 Dec 13 - 07:14 AM
Rapparee 15 Dec 13 - 08:51 PM
GUEST,gnu 15 Dec 13 - 08:21 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 13 - 03:18 PM
GUEST 15 Dec 13 - 01:06 PM
Rapparee 15 Dec 13 - 10:37 AM
Amos 15 Dec 13 - 12:21 AM
Rapparee 14 Dec 13 - 09:59 PM
gnu 14 Dec 13 - 03:55 PM
Rapparee 14 Dec 13 - 01:48 PM
gnu 14 Dec 13 - 01:22 PM
Acme 14 Dec 13 - 01:05 PM
gnu 14 Dec 13 - 07:07 AM
Pete Jennings 14 Dec 13 - 06:18 AM
Amos 13 Dec 13 - 11:33 PM
Rapparee 13 Dec 13 - 10:09 PM
Acme 13 Dec 13 - 08:47 PM
gnu 13 Dec 13 - 06:33 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 13 - 10:16 PM

Just as well. Either would have been useless.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 13 - 09:09 PM

A True Believer would dance around without worrying about a little snow. It didn't stop your neolithic ancestors, did it? It didn't stop the Celts, did it? It doesn't stop the mythical "Pats" does it?

As to how I pulled that little trick off I shall only say, with a sly grin, that I exist in many Universes of which you are unaware. (Please note that I did not end that last sentence with either a preposition or a proposition.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Dec 13 - 06:27 PM

Apparently, 0:00:00h does not exist in Max's universe.

In my universe, it's Happy Winter Solstice on Saturday at 13:11h. I usually dance naked around my backyard maple tree in celebration but, seeing as to how I would have to shovel a shitload of snow, I may have to forego it this year as I have just today slipped twice on ice and slush and angered BOTH Satanic nerves. Hurts like hell! Besides, the neighbours are Baptists and they frown on such pagan rites. And, so does little gnu... but he's just prejudicial about the cold and withdrwaws into himself.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 19 Dec 13 - 05:25 PM

That is a good trick!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 19 Dec 13 - 01:11 PM

He's a warclock.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 19 Dec 13 - 12:34 PM

Hey Rap, how'd d'you manage to post your last post (11.25AM) later than the previous one (12.29AM)? You got a secret time machine?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 13 - 11:25 AM

Ah, Mother. No one cares, and today I'm of to the VA in SLC for a C&P tomorrow. The weather down there is supposed to be frightful. If I make it I'll try to post again this evening after a nice dinner at the Bombay House.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 13 - 12:29 AM

Yeah! Ante up that status quo so I can see it and double.

Once upon a time, a long time ago, a chap from Mexico was attending the undergrad college I went to. Now at the time I moved in an interesting crowd -- they were interested in partying, drinking, and generally having fun. Anyway, Jose (I'll call him that) had two quarts of homemade tequila sent up to him by one of his friends on his father's ranchero. He mentioned it, and the coming weekend was set for a trip to the camp for tequila swigging and poker.

When the three others (including my late brother, who spoke fluent Spanish) arrived, they hauled the beaten up old table out to the middle of the room, helped themselves to some tequila and announced it was good, and said, "Awright, let's play cards!" Naturally, no one wanted to play with anyone else;s deck and finally an acceptable deck was created out of three separate decks. Jose admired the profanity.

Then someone stabbed a massive Bowie knife into the table and said, "I wand an honest game, by God!" At that, move knives, were jammed into the table, lead pipes appeared, revolvers, chains, machetes, nail-studded clubs and other playthings started piling up on the table. Finally, a 12 gauge shotgun was placed on the top of the pile. Jose was white, he had no idea what was going on, and at that point the others broke down laughing. Jose saw the joke, and the card party progressed through the night, Jose only skinning them for most of their money. The next afternoon they loaded all the crap back into the car and headed for home, the hangovers being then at a level where they decided that they would indeed live.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 19 Dec 13 - 12:00 AM

ALl I wished was that their wives be thrifty; if you don't have one, then she can't, and you will have to do it yourself. Back to the status quo ante, everyone! On the double!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Dec 13 - 09:27 PM

A wife? I missed that. But, I will gladly offer if you are so inclined. I am ken on hookin up with a good lookin intelligent woman. Of course, you would have to become a Canuck and you would have to wait until the snowstorm is over come April or so.... then, skeeters and blackflies await. Perhaps we could be intrnUt spouses? I would be thrilled. And saddened at your loss.... of sanity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 13 - 09:09 PM

Texas allows that sort of thing now? W must be having a coronary, not to mention all of those mega-church dudes.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 18 Dec 13 - 03:21 PM

I saw LH on facebook the other day and told him that MOM misses him.

So you think I need a wife, Amos?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Dec 13 - 10:38 AM

Gnarly!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Dec 13 - 09:18 AM

Ja. Mein uncle Hermann fought a mensur vid him vhen dey were in schule togetehr. Mein uncle, not beink Zorro, carved der entire vorks of Heinrich on his heinie.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 18 Dec 13 - 06:46 AM

Raps right. WHAT was I thinkin?!

That there Gottfried's quite the guy eh?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 18 Dec 13 - 03:45 AM

HUrrah for Mom, Hurrah for Rapp
HUrrah for fifty thousand posts of pap!
Hurrah for Gnu, the Almost CHosen
Whose gonads seem to've gotten frozen!
Hurrah for Stilly, Queen of Nexus
Who orders insights big as Texas
Hurrah for missing Hawk the Smallen
Who by the wayside now has fallen.
My their lives be rich, their wives be thrifty
And their posts arrive at thousands fifty.

Gottfried Wanderlust, Third Duckling of Lichtenstamps
Carved by pen-knife in a restroom wall on the occasion of his graduating from his baccalaureate program in the late summer of 1853, at Heidelberg


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 13 - 09:54 PM

gnu, no! Say it wasn't so! Tell me you weren't thinking. Please. Don't do it or you'll end up like Amos or worse.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Dec 13 - 02:29 PM

I was thinkin just t'other day... if ya take viagra, do ya have a GMO?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Dec 13 - 01:33 PM

A little reminiscing.

The Great King khandu started this thread with these immortal words...

"Another brainstorm of mine, inspired by Tweed, Spaw, Carol the Sailor and their elk."

Obviously a little mixed up in animule family classification but, little did I know I would have been called perspirational by his wise and gracious Majesty.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 17 Dec 13 - 12:55 PM

Alas, poor Hamlet, I knew him not.

(Well, it's a start, ook! ook!)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 17 Dec 13 - 12:41 PM

My goodness, this is a long, long thread, innit? Are we running out of steam? Or is the supply of BS in the universe, waiting only to be filtered into these symbolic chains by our flashing fevered fingers, fundamentally infinite?

We are fulfilling the role of all of those monkeys locked in a room with typewriters, eventually tapping out the complete works of Shakespeare. Some filtration required.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 13 - 10:11 AM

gnu, the Idaho Legion is working hard to find out who THEY are. Don't worry, the Bureau of Finding Things Out (BFTO) will find out.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 17 Dec 13 - 10:08 AM

Songwriter, perhaps:

Good King Frankenstein looked out
On his feets uneven
While the sno lay round about
Slushy and quite riven.
Brightly shone the moon that day
Tho' the King was cruel
When a poor man came in sight
He was quite a fo-oo-l.
"Bring me booze and please don't whine!
Bring me lots of livers!
Me and him will have a time
Eating horse's wi-i-thers."

That there is copyrited, so don't you go stealing it and singing it all over the place for money unless you give me 90% of the take.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 17 Dec 13 - 06:26 AM

Ey up, me duck, Rap's turning into Songwronger!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 17 Dec 13 - 06:17 AM

If THEY is any more than a delusion, who be THEY?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 13 - 10:01 PM

Amos, not only are we nearing the 50,000th post, but we are also nearing the 1,000th page.

Have you ever heard infinity described as a hotel with all the rooms full but there is always a room available? Oh, sure, the quality of the rooms can vary from a set of rusted box springs, a thundermug, and a fly-specked single bulb to the most lavish suite you can imagine. But a room is always available.

So it is with BS. The quality can vary considerably, but BS goes on forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever, ad nauseam.

Just consider gnu's obsession with the New England Patriots. That's pure BS -- not very good BS, but the pure stuff, because anyone with a lick of reality knows that there is no such American football team as the New England Patriots. He calls them "Pats", of course, but he's talking about an imaginary football team. In point of fact, I should point out that there is no such game as "American football" either. No NFL, no goalposts, no Superbowel, no touchdowns, no field goals, nope, none of it. What you see on television or "on the field" is animation or animatronics/holography created to keep the unwashed masses entranced while THEY do THEIR unholy work.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 16 Dec 13 - 07:49 PM

My goodness, this is a long, long thread, innit? Are we running out of steam? Or is the supply of BS in the universe, waiting only to be filtered into these symbolic chains by our flashing fevered fingers, fundamentally infinite?

Inquiring minds want to know...

Little Hawk, you have been too long away. If you come back this is your welcome back present.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Dec 13 - 01:30 PM

Ebbie... hahahahaaa!

My back is baaaaad and has knotted muscles and I still gotta shovel out the bed of my truck. Thank goodieness it was a fluffy snow and not that wet heavy crap we usually get with first few storms of the season. But, the absolute worst thing about yesterday was the two pass interference NON-calls on the second and third last plays of the game... I had the Pat's on a tie at 3.35. I nailed the other 5 games. I may write a Goddamn letter! "Are you shittin me? Are you fuckin BLIND?. Everybody saw it! You were standin right there! *I* SAW it and I am in New Fuckin Brunswick watchin it on a little TV screen!!! Why don't you suit up and PLAY for Miami fer Chrissake? AND YOU, Bellycheck! No red flag to throw? Did you blow yer nose in it and toss it away? WTF?"

Maybe not.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Dec 13 - 11:48 AM

Rap, when people moan - not naming names here - about Texas being #2 now, I remind them it could be worse: If Alaska divided itself into TWO states, Texas would be Number Three.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Dec 13 - 10:19 AM

gnu, stop tossing your cookies. Mom's getting tired of cleaning up your messes and is talking about making you clean out the pigsty. Or maybe that was something about our rooms?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 16 Dec 13 - 10:11 AM

Reset my cookie. Again.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Dec 13 - 09:05 AM

? Guest was me. I am on my PC and using IE but me cookie is tossed. ?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 16 Dec 13 - 07:14 AM

Yesterday morn, it was late fall. Yesterday afternoon, it was winter... still is, even more so.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 13 - 08:51 PM

I...I don't know what to say. We've got the tree up and lit (but not decorated), the candles in the windows, the wreath on the front of the house...and it's 33 F. outside. If by any chance any of you will be in Salt Lake City this coming Thursday evening, let me know and we could get together for something.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,gnu
Date: 15 Dec 13 - 08:21 PM

Oops. I guess I gotta sign in every time I restart the laptop. Too much football, chowder and ale.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 13 - 03:18 PM

You're watching three or four football games being played at the same time? That's great! I've long thought that if they'd make the playing fields like an asterisk a bunch of teams could play at the same time and apparently they've done just that! We can turn some of those "stadiums" into parks or something now.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Dec 13 - 01:06 PM

NFLNB HQ is up and running. Pats on the 46", Seahawks on the 28", Bears on the 26", nfl.com on the 17" (and FB, Mudcat, weather radar....).


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Dec 13 - 10:37 AM

Breathing IS legal in Idaho, as long as you vote Republican. That might change in this coming election, though. People are mildly annoyed with the various politicians in Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 15 Dec 13 - 12:21 AM

Hey, in some areas, breathing is illegal in Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 13 - 09:59 PM

What the States do doesn't really matter -- the stuff is illegal under Federal law. Rightly or wrongly, that's the way it is. And it causes all sorts of problems for people driving from, say, Seattle to Boise, Idaho -- they cross the state line with baggy and they're stopped they got more than a speeding ticket to worry about, 'cause pot is illegal in Idaho.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 13 - 03:55 PM

Ain't Alaska the first state to legalize (never made it illegal) pot?... hemp, boo, weed, Maryjane, reefer, ganja, funk, giggle weed, hookah, lamb killer, lamb's bread/breath, whack tabaccy, toke smoke......


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Dec 13 - 01:48 PM

Not in Texas, by God! Texas...biggest State...until...Alaska...sob sob.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 13 - 01:22 PM

6 state flags? Ain't there a rule fer that too?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 14 Dec 13 - 01:05 PM

One star per state, you know how it goes. But they have six flags!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 14 Dec 13 - 07:07 AM

But it's a BIIIIIG star!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 14 Dec 13 - 06:18 AM

If Texas is so great, how come it's only got one star?


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 13 Dec 13 - 11:33 PM

Trust Rapp to know about whut's bigger'n whut. HE was designing tall tales when he was knee-high to a grasshopper, and the tales were only knee-high to an elephant's eye. But he's gotten better since then.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 13 Dec 13 - 10:09 PM

Wahl, m'am, that there's Texas mud. Ya see, ever'things bigger 'n' better in Texas, includin' the mud. That there mud was used ta make the Alamo, afore they moved it to downtown San Anton'. When that mud dried them Mexican cannonball's jist bounce right off, an' iffen they'd made the whole place outen it Travis wouldn't have lost.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 13 Dec 13 - 08:47 PM

It's the kind of mud that sticks to dogs' feet, to my feet, that is a slick as an oil spill, and that seems to take forever to go away.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 13 Dec 13 - 06:33 PM

Ya mean that kinda mud what makes ya taller with every step?


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