Lyrics & Knowledge Personal Pages Record Shop Auction Links Radio & Media Kids Membership Help
The Mudcat Cafemuddy

Post to this Thread - Printer Friendly - Home
Page: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18] [19] [20] [21] [22] [23] [24] [25] [26] [27] [28] [29] [30] [31] [32] [33] [34] [35] [36] [37] [38] [39] [40] [41] [42] [43] [44] [45] [46] [47] [48] [49] [50] [51] [52] [53] [54] [55] [56] [57] [58] [59] [60] [61] [62] [63] [64] [65] [66] [67] [68] [69] [70] [71] [72] [73] [74] [75] [76] [77] [78] [79] [80] [81] [82] [83] [84] [85] [86] [87] [88] [89] [90] [91] [92] [93] [94] [95] [96] [97] [98] [99] [100] [101] [102] [103] [104] [105] [106] [107] [108] [109] [110] [111] [112] [113] [114] [115] [116] [117] [118] [119] [120] [121] [122] [123] [124] [125] [126] [127] [128] [129] [130] [131] [132] [133] [134] [135] [136] [137] [138] [139] [140] [141] [142] [143] [144] [145] [146] [147] [148] [149] [150] [151] [152] [153] [154] [155] [156] [157] [158] [159] [160] [161] [162] [163] [164] [165] [166] [167] [168] [169] [170] [171] [172] [173] [174] [175] [176] [177] [178] [179] [180] [181] [182] [183] [184] [185] [186] [187] [188] [189] [190] [191] [192] [193] [194] [195] [196] [197] [198] [199] [200] [201] [202] [203] [204] [205] [206] [207] [208] [209] [210] [211] [212] [213] [214] [215] [216] [217] [218] [219] [220] [221] [222] [223] [224] [225] [226] [227] [228] [229] [230] [231] [232] [233] [234] [235] [236] [237] [238] [239] [240] [241] [242] [243] [244] [245] [246] [247] [248] [249] [250] [251] [252] [253] [254] [255] [256] [257] [258] [259] [260] [261] [262] [263] [264] [265] [266] [267] [268] [269] [270] [271] [272] [273] [274] [275] [276] [277] [278] [279] [280] [281] [282] [283] [284] [285] [286] [287] [288] [289] [290] [291] [292] [293] [294] [295] [296] [297] [298] [299] [300] [301] [302] [303] [304] [305] [306] [307] [308] [309] [310] [311] [312] [313] [314] [315] [316] [317] [318] [319] [320] [321] [322] [323] [324] [325] [326] [327] [328] [329] [330] [331] [332] [333] [334] [335] [336] [337] [338] [339] [340] [341] [342] [343] [344] [345] [346] [347] [348] [349] [350] [351] [352] [353] [354] [355] [356] [357] [358] [359] [360] [361] [362] [363] [364] [365] [366] [367] [368] [369] [370] [371] [372] [373] [374] [375] [376] [377] [378] [379] [380] [381] [382] [383] [384] [385] [386] [387] [388] [389] [390] [391] [392] [393] [394] [395] [396] [397] [398] [399] [400] [401] [402] [403] [404] [405] [406] [407] [408] [409] [410] [411] [412] [413] [414] [415] [416] [417] [418] [419] [420] [421] [422] [423] [424] [425] [426] [427] [428] [429] [430] [431] [432] [433] [434] [435] [436] [437] [438] [439] [440] [441] [442] [443] [444] [445] [446] [447] [448] [449] [450] [451] [452] [453] [454] [455] [456] [457] [458] [459] [460] [461] [462] [463] [464] [465] [466] [467] [468] [469] [470] [471] [472] [473] [474] [475] [476] [477] [478] [479] [480] [481] [482] [483] [484] [485] [486] [487] [488] [489] [490] [491] [492] [493] [494] [495] [496] [497] [498] [499] [500] [501] [502] [503] [504] [505] [506] [507] [508] [509] [510] [511] [512] [513] [514] [515] [516] [517] [518] [519] [520] [521] [522] [523] [524] [525] [526] [527] [528] [529] [530] [531] [532] [533] [534] [535] [536] [537] [538] [539] [540] [541] [542] [543] [544] [545] [546] [547] [548] [549] [550] [551] [552] [553] [554] [555] [556] [557] [558] [559] [560] [561] [562] [563] [564] [565] [566] [567] [568] [569] [570] [571] [572] [573] [574] [575] [576] [577] [578] [579] [580] [581] [582] [583] [584] [585] [586] [587] [588] [589] [590] [591] [592] [593] [594] [595] [596] [597] [598] [599] [600] [601] [602] [603] [604] [605] [606] [607] [608] [609] [610] [611] [612] [613] [614] [615] [616] [617] [618] [619] [620] [621] [622] [623] [624] [625] [626] [627] [628] [629] [630] [631] [632] [633] [634] [635] [636] [637] [638] [639] [640] [641] [642] [643] [644] [645] [646] [647] [648] [649] [650] [651] [652] [653] [654] [655] [656] [657] [658] [659] [660] [661] [662] [663] [664] [665] [666] [667] [668] [669] [670] [671] [672] [673] [674] [675] [676] [677] [678] [679] [680] [681] [682] [683] [684] [685] [686] [687] [688] [689] [690] [691] [692] [693] [694] [695] [696] [697] [698] [699] [700] [701] [702] [703] [704] [705] [706] [707] [708] [709] [710] [711] [712] [713] [714] [715] [716] [717] [718] [719] [720] [721] [722] [723] [724] [725] [726] [727] [728] [729] [730] [731] [732] [733] [734] [735] [736] [737] [738] [739] [740] [741] [742] [743] [744] [745] [746] [747] [748] [749] [750] [751] [752] [753] [754] [755] [756] [757] [758] [759] [760] [761] [762] [763] [764] [765] [766] [767] [768] [769] [770] [771] [772] [773] [774] [775] [776] [777] [778] [779] [780] [781] [782] [783] [784] [785] [786] [787] [788] [789] [790] [791] [792] [793] [794] [795] [796] [797] [798] [799] [800] [801] [802] [803] [804] [805] [806] [807] [808] [809] [810] [811] [812] [813] [814] [815] [816] [817] [818] [819] [820] [821] [822] [823] [824] [825] [826] [827] [828] [829] [830] [831] [832] [833] [834] [835] [836] [837] [838] [839] [840] [841] [842] [843] [844] [845] [846] [847] [848] [849] [850] [851] [852] [853] [854] [855] [856] [857] [858] [859] [860] [861] [862] [863] [864] [865] [866] [867] [868] [869] [870] [871] [872] [873] [874] [875] [876] [877] [878] [879] [880] [881] [882] [883] [884] [885] [886] [887] [888] [889] [890] [891] [892] [893] [894] [895] [896] [897] [898] [899] [900] [901] [902] [903] [904] [905] [906] [907] [908] [909] [910] [911] [912] [913] [914] [915] [916] [917] [918] [919] [920] [921] [922] [923] [924] [925] [926] [927] [928] [929] [930] [931] [932] [933] [934] [935] [936] [937] [938] [939] [940] [941] [942] [943] [944] [945] [946] [947] [948] [949] [950] [951] [952] [953] [954] [955] [956] [957] [958] [959] [960] [961] [962] [963] [964] [965] [966] [967] [968] [969] [970] [971] [972] [973] [974] [975] [976] [977] [978] [979] [980] [981] [982] [983] [984] [985] [986] [987] [988] [989] [990] [991] [992] [993] [994] [995] [996] [997] [998] [999] [1000] [1001] [1002] [1003] [1004] [1005] [1006] [1007] [1008] [1009] [1010] [1011] [1012] [1013] [1014] [1015] [1016] [1017] [1018] [1019] [1020] [1021] [1022] [1023] [1024] [1025] [1026] [1027] [1028] [1029] [1030] [1031] [1032] [1033] [1034] [1035] [1036] [1037] [1038] [1039] [1040] [1041] [1042] [1043] [1044] [1045] [1046] [1047] [1048] [1049] [1050] [1051] [1052] [1053] [1054] [1055] [1056] [1057] [1058] [1059] [1060] [1061] [1062] [1063] [1064] [1065] [1066] [1067] [1068] [1069] [1070] [1071] [1072] [1073] [1074] [1075] [1076] [1077] [1078] [1079] [1080] [1081] [1082] [1083] [1084] [1085] [1086] [1087] [1088] [1089] [1090] [1091] [1092] [1093] [1094] [1095] [1096] [1097] [1098] [1099] [1100] [1101] [1102] [1103] [1104] [1105] [1106] [1107] [1108] [1109] [1110] [1111] [1112] [1113] [1114] [1115] [1116] [1117] [1118] [1119] [1120] [1121] [1122] [1123] [1124] [1125] [1126] [1127] [1128] [1129] [1130] [1131] [1132] [1133] [1134] [1135] [1136]


BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Little Hawk 03 Dec 12 - 03:17 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 03 Dec 12 - 01:00 PM
Rapparee 03 Dec 12 - 11:05 AM
Amos 02 Dec 12 - 11:41 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Dec 12 - 10:39 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 12 - 09:17 PM
Acme 02 Dec 12 - 09:13 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Dec 12 - 08:09 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 12 - 07:25 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Dec 12 - 07:01 PM
Acme 02 Dec 12 - 04:18 PM
Rapparee 02 Dec 12 - 02:39 PM
Acme 02 Dec 12 - 12:46 PM
Amos 02 Dec 12 - 09:38 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 02 Dec 12 - 09:06 AM
Amos 02 Dec 12 - 02:32 AM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 01 Dec 12 - 11:53 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 12 - 10:06 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 01 Dec 12 - 08:46 PM
Amos 01 Dec 12 - 08:37 PM
Rapparee 01 Dec 12 - 05:40 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 01 Dec 12 - 12:06 AM
gnu 30 Nov 12 - 07:18 PM
Rapparee 30 Nov 12 - 07:04 PM
Little Hawk 30 Nov 12 - 03:52 PM
Acme 30 Nov 12 - 02:09 PM
Little Hawk 30 Nov 12 - 11:38 AM
Rapparee 30 Nov 12 - 10:08 AM
gnu 29 Nov 12 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 29 Nov 12 - 10:14 PM
Amos 29 Nov 12 - 06:02 PM
Rapparee 29 Nov 12 - 01:10 AM
Amos 29 Nov 12 - 12:28 AM
Rapparee 28 Nov 12 - 09:27 PM
Acme 28 Nov 12 - 08:43 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 28 Nov 12 - 08:31 PM
Amos 28 Nov 12 - 07:19 PM
Acme 28 Nov 12 - 06:02 PM
Amos 28 Nov 12 - 05:04 PM
gnu 28 Nov 12 - 04:09 PM
Rapparee 28 Nov 12 - 04:04 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 28 Nov 12 - 11:01 AM
MMario 28 Nov 12 - 10:32 AM
Rapparee 28 Nov 12 - 09:50 AM
Rapparee 27 Nov 12 - 08:09 PM
gnu 27 Nov 12 - 04:45 PM
Acme 27 Nov 12 - 01:59 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 12 - 01:34 PM
GUEST,Chongo Chimp 27 Nov 12 - 12:09 PM
Rapparee 27 Nov 12 - 10:29 AM
Lyrics & Knowledge Search [Advanced]
DT  Forum
Sort (Forum) by:relevance date
DT Lyrics:



Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Dec 12 - 03:17 PM

There has been some confusion lately about the exact wording of the Hail Chongo, a traditional prayer uttered by humans who are showing contrition for their sins of specism and their exclusionary thinking and behaviour, as well as for their sins in a more general sense.

According to the New International version of the Book of Kong, translated from its original Mangani, these are the words, in English:

Hail Chongo, full of grace, the Lord is with thee; blessed art thou amongst primates, and blessed is the fruit of thy table, as well as the whiskey in thy cupboard and the cigars in thy desk drawer. May thine ammo never run out. O Chongo, foremost among gumshoes, pray for us wretched sinners, now and at the hour of our death, whether it be by the knife, the fist, the gun, the noose or the bottle. Amen.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 03 Dec 12 - 01:00 PM

Notice how I made ya say it wrong again, Rap? I do that to embarrass you. I find it amusin' to get the world thinkin' you are a deeply prejudiced man who wallows in specist slurs, instead of lettin' 'em see that you actually love and respect all apes and monkeys and wish you was more like them. Why do I do this? Well, I am helpin' you pay off yer sins, see? You done a lotta bad things in this life and in some of yer previous lives, and I am gonna help you pay it all off and start off again with a clean slate, by embarrassin' the hell out of you in various ways, ways accomplished through my Divine Will.

I might make you take off all yer clothes and run around in the downtown of Pocatello yellin' "I'm a little scrunchy! I'm a little scrunchy!" until the cops arrest you and haul you away to the funny farm.

Or I might not. Haven't yet quite decided about that one.

Note how the completely fictional being known as "Amos" at least has the honesty to admit that he don't live in my world. He got that right. Amos is a pallid mental construct, see? He has no real corporeal existence in any world, but he does caper around in a sorta hypothetical dream-like dimension that is just a step removed from Bedlam on one side and Woody Allen's rapid-eye movement phases on the other. Woody has been seein' his shrink for some time about that, cos he don't like California much. He wants the Amos character in his dreams to relocate to Manhattan. I could make this happen, but I ain't ready to. I enjoy lissenin' to Woody kvetch and whine and carry on about it while he is layin' on the psychiatric couch.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Dec 12 - 11:05 AM

Hail Chonga, full of grease.
Much shit was in thee.
Cursed art thou by the zoo visitors
Because thou art a poop-flinger.

Jesus and Mary, Mother of God!
Pray for that sinner
now and at the hour the Northside Gorillas find him or her.
Amen.

There, is that better?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 11:41 PM

Chongo, the world in which you exist is one in which I do not wish to cast a shadow. I am content to sip real single-malt and talk to real people.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 10:39 PM

That was only one.

And I made ya say it wrong. I also made ya disappear for several seconds right before I posted this. Didn't notice, didja?

Of course not! How would you be able to notice when you wasn't there to notice? ;-D Ook! Ook!

See, this is the thing. You ain't actually been around for about half the time in the past 6 months cos I just disappear you whenever the whim hits me, but you never even noticed, cos as soon as I bring ya back, everything seems "normal". I mean normal in yer terms....which is like abnormal in most people's terms.

For all you know, you might not be there tomorrow, but then you'll be back the day after. It's all up to me. Nobody else notices either, cos I control all of it, see?

There. How do ya like gettin' yer own line back? Hmm? Sounds familiar, don't it?

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 09:17 PM

Hail Chonga
Full of crap
Lots of crap is in thee
And crappy are you among chimpanzees.
Holey Chonga
Put "paid" by the gorillas
That was the hour of your death
Amen.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 09:13 PM

I suspect Chongo and ilk will vanish if Little Hawk ever hooks up with Winona.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 08:09 PM

Fat chance, Rap. You got things turned right around backwards. I didn't think of YOU in the context of this here thread between 2:39 and 7:24 today, and where was you? Hmm? I don't see a word from you on this thread durin' those approximate 5 hours, and ya know why? Coz I willed you right out of existence by not thinkin' about you. Yer very existence depends on MY will. I letcha back in at 7:25.

Now get down on yer knees and say 50 "Hail Chongo"s...or I'll do it again. For a longer period of time.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 07:25 PM

Chonga, sweetheart, baby -- if I stop thinking of YOU you'll vanish with even a whimper. Your existence will be as if you never were, less than a whiff of cigar smoke in a tornado. You exist only because I will it to be so -- and Amos, too. In fact, EVERYTHING exists because I wish it so, even myself. I brought myself and everything else into existence because I willed it.

Perhaps I'll stop thinking about it long enough that your trigger finger will disappear. Will that convince you that I'm telling it to you straight?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 07:01 PM

Well, Amos, here I am on a not too bad evenin' in my office, goin' over my files. I have a half full glass of whiskey in fronta me. I got a good life, lotsa friends, a great gal, and a flourishin' career. I got the respect of my peers and the plaudits of my community. Too bad you don't get to share in any of this, but you made yer choice. Yer choice is to deny my existence. Fine. Too bad for you, Roscoe, cos you just stepped right outta my world and into the dark limbo of yer own denial. You are no one, mister. Got that? No one. Nadie'. You don't even cast a shadow. You leave no genetic traces behind. Yer nothin' in my world.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 04:18 PM

WOW - I just read, in another thread, that 999 (aka Peace, Bruce, etc.) actually LOADED THE ENTIRE MOAB to test Max's new cloud computing virtual machine. Perhaps in a few months when he finishes reading it he'll post a comment.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 02:39 PM

Well, just so you know, Amos' old playmate, Donatien Alphonse François, died on this date back in 1814.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 12:46 PM

We need a Tardis - I'd like to invite Mark Twain (ol' Sam) to dinner, and have George Carlin and Douglas Adams join us.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 09:38 AM

No, I wasn't talking to you, "Chongo". The reason I am not is in my previous post. The reason you don't see no-one else around but yourself is because you are a purely postulated form, an artifice whose sole claim to existence is that someone imagined you. As such, there is no "there" there in which to see others, because the entire loop of your perception is non-operational. It is pretended into being whole cloth. If someone were to appear "there" it would shatter the very premises of existing for you. You'd probably pop like a soap bubble. See?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 09:06 AM

I just finished sayin' it to Rap. Now I'm gonna say it to you.

You talkin' to ME?

If yer not talkin' to ME, then who are ya talkin' to? I don't see anyone else around here. You must be talkin' to me. And if you aren't talkin' to me, then why should I pay any attention to what you say? Answer me that, Roscoe.

Ya know what I think? I don't think anybody pays much attention to what you say...except yerself, see? You are basically just talkin' to yerself. You got this little love match goin' with yerself, and that's all you got. If they took yer keyboard away, you'd curl up in a little ball on the floor and start cryin'.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Dec 12 - 02:32 AM

Actually, no, he's not. The general consensus amongst humans is that it is not actually feasible to send communications to an imaginary character, no matter how vehemently he is imagined to be asserting him/her/itself. The belief that one is doing so is generally perceived to be delusory. Therefore, R. was not talking to Chongo, QED. There may of course, be some dimwitted puppetmaster trying to induce such delusions by generatying signals and sending them through the nebulous shallow phantasm he calls Chongo, but that is a different question altogether.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 01 Dec 12 - 11:53 PM

You talkin' to ME?

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 12 - 10:06 PM

That's what you say, Chonga. Don't deny your XX chromosomes. Just be a lady, okay?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 01 Dec 12 - 08:46 PM

If I was a monkey, Rap, I guess I'd be real upset about that statement you quoted from "Sam", but I'm not.

Amos, you are a 3rd rate imitation of a real man. I ain't gonna explain to you what a real man is, cos I know it wouldn't do no good if I did. It would be like tryin' to teach a pig how to use ice skates. Hopeless. And who is this "Chonga" you are tryin' to insult? I don't know anyone with that name.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Dec 12 - 08:37 PM

I think Sam would say Chonga reasons like a second-rate imitation of a human.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Dec 12 - 05:40 PM

I believe our Heavenly Father invented man because he was disappointed in the monkey.
                                    --Ol' Sam


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 01 Dec 12 - 12:06 AM

That guy Mark Twain sounds like a man I would have got along with just fine. He reasons just like a smart Chimp.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 30 Nov 12 - 07:18 PM

Sounds like as plan, Mark. (Rap)


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 12 - 07:04 PM

Ah, LH, take heed:

"I thoroughly disapprove of duels. I consider them unwise and I know they are dangerous. Also, sinful. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet retired spot and kill him."
                                  --Ol' Sam


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Nov 12 - 03:52 PM

Good lord! It is fortunate that Mr Twain is not alive today and still engaging in this sort of diabolical literary criticism, this veritable drawing, quartering, and incineration of his hapless inferiors in the literary arts!

Imagine, for instance, what he might say about Amos's writings! Or mine! We would either be found hanging wretchedly by an improvised noose in our respective closets...or Mr Twain would be found lying dead in an alleyway, having been beaten savagely to death with a blunt instrument by persons unknown...if not unsuspected.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Nov 12 - 02:09 PM

And if you don't have time for all of that, have a good chuckle by reading Twain's Fenimore Cooper's Literary Offences.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Nov 12 - 11:38 AM

What a perfect prescription for total happiness and fulfillment, dude! I'm gonna do it!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Nov 12 - 10:08 AM

gnu, here's how to forget your tragic loss:

Go out and celebrate the birth of Sam Clemens, the greatest writer North America ever produced, on November 30, 1835.

Yes, today is Sam's 177th birthday!!! Drink! Fool around with loose women! Pilot a riverboat! Join the CSA! Write great novels! Go broke! Become friends with a former US President! Live in Italy, Austria, England, France! Smoke a cigar! Celebrate Sam's life, dude!!


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 29 Nov 12 - 10:37 PM

Did someone say
Romeo & Juliet?

That song is pure sobbing to me. It was radio playing when I lost my true love because I had to fulfill family duties. Every time I hear it, I weep uncontrollably... thirty years hence.

But, better to have loved and lost than to never have known true love at all, they say. Still, it pisses me off tho, eh? Ya know what I mean, eh? I can just imagine how LH feels about that Winononotlikely chick, right? Poor guy.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 12 - 10:14 PM

Such as comparing you to Alfred E. Newman, the boon companion of my youthhood?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 12 - 06:02 PM

The flaw in your argument, dear Rapp, is that you were recently doing something not on your list, which is easily classified as jejeune and immature.

A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Nov 12 - 01:10 AM

Indeed, Amos? Can we not also enjoy in our maturity that which delighted us in our youth? Can we not appreciate the slapstick of, say, a Red Skelton as well as the more sophisticated humor of a George Carlin? Can we not enjoy the wit of Pope and the verbal sallies of "Fractured Fairy Tales"? Is the enjoyment of Richard Armour's classic books, such as "Twisted Tales From Shakespeare" enhanced or diluted by knowing Shakespeare's works from both the literary and theatrical perspectives? Does gallows humor, such as Mercutio's "It is not as deep as a well nor as wide a a church door" speech in "Romeo and Juliet" stand somehow superior to Snowden's Secret in "Catch 22" or the antics of "M*A*S*H"? Is the satire of "Mad" less than that of "Punch" or "Judge" or even "Gulliver's Travels" and if so, how? Jejeune? -- perhaps to your tastes.

How many Southern Californians does it take to change a light bulb?
None, because the bulb is doin' it's thing, like mellow, ya know?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Nov 12 - 12:28 AM

SUch risible, jejune ribaldry gives quite the lie to R's claims of balanced mind and mature judgement.

As for being threatened with screams from an imaginary invention, especially one as pale and derivative as yon Chimpette--I am shaking in my boots, for sure. I have been screamed at by the most psychotic of immortals, and have shed not a hair nor batted an eyelash. The idea that an imaginary spawn of flimsy faquiry such as Chongo could startle me by a jot or a tittle is simply ludicrous, like all the rest of his febrile, pusillanimous meanderings.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 12 - 09:27 PM

No, this picture of Amos was taken at dunner during Getaway this year.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 12 - 08:43 PM

Is that you, Amos? Looks like my friend Ron, but he has all of his teeth.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Nov 12 - 08:31 PM

Amos, you got no idea how loud I can screech. One of these days...and this is a promise...I am gonna screech at you right outta yer own mailbox.

Wait for it, buster.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 12 - 07:19 PM

How many gapped grins have you seen amongst those who led rough, poor, careless or reckless lives?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Nov 12 - 06:02 PM

But wasn't that the plan with the original adult set?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Nov 12 - 05:04 PM

That vaporous phantasm certainly screeches loudly for such an insubstantial thing. His sister could hear him all the way from her cathouse in Detroit City.

To answer your question, dear Ms Sage, I am at present complete on teeth implantery, although there is one more planned such op in my future. The great benefit, once you get over the swole jaw and the pain, is a sterling piece of toothery that will never let you down, fall out or come undone in your lifetime, as far as I know.


A


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 28 Nov 12 - 04:09 PM

On just sit near you guys when yer smokin up.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 12 - 04:04 PM

Not if I wrap razor wire around it.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 28 Nov 12 - 11:01 AM

gnu, you would hafta smoke a wheelbarrow load of dope each mornin' to keep up with me. I can scale a 200 foot tree in under 3 seconds, buddy.

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Nov 12 - 10:32 AM

Hey Mom! Did you see the news where Volkswagon is releasing a new model car? It's a single seater, retails for around $600 bucks and gets over 400 miles per tank of diesel. The tank holds less then 2 gals!!!!!

Of course they are only offering it in China. Why can't US companies come up with something like this? Expecially the $600 price....


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Nov 12 - 09:50 AM

Hey, Mom! I ate a banana for breakfast! Don't bother, the skin's really tough. Eat an apple instead.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 12 - 08:09 PM

He had a brother named Gustav (after their grandpa) that everybody called "Spike" but never "Dutch." Dutch was very possessive about is nickname and would thump you on the head if you took it in vain.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: gnu
Date: 27 Nov 12 - 04:45 PM

Maybe if I started smoking weed again? I hear it's a lot more potent now than the weed I smoked 30 years ago and that would probably be required to keep up with you lot.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 27 Nov 12 - 01:59 PM

Wrong guy.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 12 - 01:34 PM

Yeah, he grew up just up the block from me. We used to play sandlot (or in our case, dumplot) softball together. His real name was Robert but everybody, even is parents and the nuns at school, called him "Dutch" or "Dutchie." After high school he went on and became a priest, and last I heard he was a retired Monsignor and living in a small town (maybe Farmers Retreat) in southern Indiana.


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Nov 12 - 12:09 PM

Rap, I am worried about you. You are slidin' further and further into delusions of grandeur and bizarre fantasies based on some kinda obscure wish fullfillment, but not on the plain facts that are starin' you in the face. In short, yer losin' touch with reality. You remind me a lot of Dutch Schulz in the last few weeks of his life...and ya know what happened to him, don'tcha?

- Chongo


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate

Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Nov 12 - 10:29 AM

Chonga, I didn't get the chance to drop you as fish bait, but a friend of mind DID get one of your old fedoras. No one but you had ever worn it (why would they want to?). And guess what!

A match of the DNA in the bulbs of the hairs inside that truly tacky hat, as well as DNA taken from the sweat residue inside, was a 99.99% match for the DNA of Chinga, the chimp who is now proven to be not only your sister, but your TWIN sister!!!

And your DNA showed XX chromosones. XX, not XY. Know what that means, Little Missy?


Post - Top - Home - Printer Friendly - Translate
Next Page

 


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.


You must be a member to post in non-music threads. Join here.



Mudcat time: 20 November 3:54 PM EST

[ Home ]

All original material is copyright © 1998 by the Mudcat Café Music Foundation, Inc. All photos, music, images, etc. are copyright © by their rightful owners. Every effort is taken to attribute appropriate copyright to images, content, music, etc. We are not a copyright resource.