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BS: The Mother of all BS threads

Amos 02 Sep 08 - 03:17 PM
Little Hawk 02 Sep 08 - 03:12 PM
Amos 02 Sep 08 - 01:54 PM
MMario 02 Sep 08 - 01:43 PM
Amos 02 Sep 08 - 01:22 PM
MMario 02 Sep 08 - 01:15 PM
Amos 02 Sep 08 - 11:51 AM
MMario 02 Sep 08 - 11:32 AM
Amos 02 Sep 08 - 10:25 AM
Amos 02 Sep 08 - 02:26 AM
Acme 02 Sep 08 - 12:05 AM
Amos 01 Sep 08 - 10:33 PM
Amos 01 Sep 08 - 08:41 PM
Amos 01 Sep 08 - 03:22 PM
Little Hawk 01 Sep 08 - 02:58 PM
Amos 01 Sep 08 - 10:24 AM
Acme 01 Sep 08 - 12:15 AM
Little Hawk 31 Aug 08 - 10:26 PM
Acme 31 Aug 08 - 09:41 PM
Amos 31 Aug 08 - 09:11 PM
Little Hawk 31 Aug 08 - 03:42 PM
Acme 31 Aug 08 - 02:56 PM
Amos 30 Aug 08 - 05:41 PM
Amos 30 Aug 08 - 03:25 PM
GUEST,Rapaire 30 Aug 08 - 11:52 AM
Acme 30 Aug 08 - 12:56 AM
Amos 30 Aug 08 - 12:01 AM
Amos 29 Aug 08 - 11:54 PM
GUEST,beardedbruce 29 Aug 08 - 10:14 PM
Amos 29 Aug 08 - 09:32 PM
Amos 29 Aug 08 - 11:40 AM
Amos 29 Aug 08 - 11:14 AM
Rapparee 29 Aug 08 - 11:06 AM
Amos 29 Aug 08 - 10:02 AM
Little Hawk 29 Aug 08 - 12:14 AM
Amos 29 Aug 08 - 12:02 AM
Rapparee 28 Aug 08 - 10:42 PM
Acme 28 Aug 08 - 10:37 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 08 - 10:17 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 08 - 04:16 PM
Acme 28 Aug 08 - 03:36 PM
Rapparee 28 Aug 08 - 12:41 PM
Amos 28 Aug 08 - 12:35 PM
Little Hawk 28 Aug 08 - 12:25 PM
Amos 28 Aug 08 - 11:56 AM
Donuel 28 Aug 08 - 11:48 AM
Amos 28 Aug 08 - 11:39 AM
MMario 28 Aug 08 - 11:33 AM
Amos 28 Aug 08 - 11:02 AM
Rapparee 28 Aug 08 - 09:06 AM
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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 03:17 PM

(Little Hawk is channeling the freds again...sigh.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 03:12 PM

What, say, we, all, decide, to, put, commas, between, all, our, words, from, now, on? Har.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 01:54 PM

Ah, so...you are right, Sir Emm, and I am wrong. I had forgotten about that 1-day mechanism. So the screen just adds lines up to the 24-hour break point. I am such a fool. Ah, woe. I will return to political threads where my folly is less obvious by far, thanks to the presence of so many black holes...



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 01:43 PM

true - rate iof decline is related to rate of postings.

However........

the fall off point is at 24 hours, regardless of the rate of decline.

period.

Don't matter whether there is a single post or 18 quadrillion and two. MOM won't fall until 24 hours are up.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 01:22 PM

You cannot make that measure in linear hours, Oh, Man of Emms. The rate posts are posted defines the rate of decline. In today's torrid political climate the rate could double in ten minutes.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 01:15 PM

It's not me you need to convince, sirrah,but our Mother; when she hears that you consider her to be so feeble and febrile that over four hours are needed to cause her to rise.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 11:51 AM

COme, sir, use your wits and Newton's calculus. It is the rate of change, and the rate of change of the raste of change, that is important. I tell you she was swooping like a purblind osprey!!!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 11:32 AM

MOM was ***FOUR HOURS*** away from dropping off the page. Are you implying she is too old and feeble to rise up? If so, I'm putting on a flak jacket, because I don't want to be hit by ricochets when she takes aim at you!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 10:25 AM

There she goes again, swooping down like some purblind osprey into the misty depths, threatening to vanish below the Sea at the Bottom of the Page and never come up again.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 02:26 AM

Yes, ma'am, Sis.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 02 Sep 08 - 12:05 AM

Keep your "fat thumbs" in your lap while you're in the kayak and your center of gravity will keep you stable. Start waving your hands and you'll have to do those fancy rolls in a man/boat pas de deux.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 10:33 PM

noram==normal!! Oy, my fat thumbs.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 08:41 PM

Again, Saturday morning, the quiet gray skies over La Jolla's shoreline gave way to patched blue and white patterns and the same sun rose, slowly, turning the dark beach light as I ran through the surf (a perfect entry, this time) and out into the deeper salt water that hides the plummeting depths of the La Jolla Trench and natural preserve.

Along the cliffs, thick with half-asleep cormorants and pelicans wondering about fishies six times a minute, the crude stone ledges provide ample support for the harbor seals and sea lions. The males are particularly fond f the ledges just along the cave entrances. For sport thay dive into the surf, and surface in the dead centerline of the cave entrance, and bark loudly in their best sea-bully tones. The caves multiply the sound and the roar of a much bigger animal comes out of the cave only slightly delayed. This makes them feel mighty proud of their capabiltiies. Then they go off and bite the teenage males on the ear to show them who's boss. The females doze through the whole show--they seen it all and heard it all, and they'd switch allegiances in a deepwater minute if some hot young Leo managed to scare off their current alpha male. Bu that is rare.

Cruising just off the ledges along the shore line, you have to keep one eye over your shoulder for the occasional larger wave, and swing into and over it if it arrives. You don't want a salient to suddenly pick you up and carry you onto the shoal rocks.

There are small coves where isolated beaches never visited by the noram crowd sit in the sunrise, isolated and pristine. There are rugged rocklines and there are concrete seawalls where human vanity has interceded to build shore mansions.

You follow the curve of the bay until you come back to the hotel beach where the street access brings dozens of cars onto the sand to offload their kayaks and surfboards. The shoaling here is long and gradual, and the breakers come in sets. You move shoreward on the swell, feeling the passage of time as the ocean itself defines it, rising and falling. You hold back, and at the right moment you drive hard for the shore. Your prow lifts up as the big one passses under you, moving in faster than you are. Then, just as it crashes and reverses, you finish your run into the shallows and are left neatly on the sand, a perfect exit, unscathed by waters which could broach and tumble you like a dead grunion if you timed it wrong.

The images stay with you all day and you breath salt and sea-water until bedtime.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 03:22 PM

I swan, therefore I am Swan.

You duck, therefore you am Duck.

Rapaire gooses, therefore Rapaire Am Goose.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 02:58 PM

You swan?

I duck.

Rapaire gooses.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 10:24 AM

You hurricane people!! I swan.

Little Hawk, this thread is only for volunteers. We assume those who post here come freely and post in a spirit of freedom and creative wit.

If you don't meet these requirements go to one of the mandatory threads!


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 01 Sep 08 - 12:15 AM

Little Hawk-- "cellar!" (I'm quoting Jacqui)

Hold on MOM, looks like we're in for a soaking on Tuesday.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Aug 08 - 10:26 PM

"There were three threads between MOM and oblivion!"

Ha! We should be so lucky.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Aug 08 - 09:41 PM

There were three threads between MOM and oblivion!

I have an invitation to a Barbecue tomorrow afternoon--MOM can come along with me if she wants, or I can bring back a plate of brisket, pinto beans, and a cup of sweet tea.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 31 Aug 08 - 09:11 PM

When our Mom was feeling low,
To her aid our Sis did go.
No-one else would come around,
To help Mom when she was down.
Mom's now back in finer fettle,
Lights her pipe and starts the kettle,
Starts to bake an Apple Pie
Suddenly, look who draws nigh!
All her cousins, sons and daughterin'
Come around with mouths a-watering.
It is strange, as we all know,
Nobody knows you when you're feeling low.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Aug 08 - 03:42 PM

Ahem!

Perhaps you luminaries here should know that LEJ has started what looks like a really interesting story thread up in the upper section...it's called "Fiction: Dead Man's Guitar".

I haven't added anything to it, because I'd rather just hear what LEJ has to say next.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 31 Aug 08 - 02:56 PM

Stilly runs, dives, makes a quick grab, tucks and rolls and rescues MOM from falling off of the bottom of the page

Ouch! My elbows and knees got skinned.

I've been roasting Hatch chili peppers all day, sorry about the smoky smell.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 08 - 05:41 PM

How little did my mother think,
When first she diapered me,
That I would grow up as a link
On the Endless MOAB tree!

She never would have fed me milk
Nor warmed me in her bed
If she had thought I would become
A useless MOAB head.

But she is gone and I alone
Am left to find my way
Yet sometimes when the sun goes down
I can hear her sweet voice say:

"Oh stay away from bullshit, boy!
Speak sooth, or hold yer tongue!"
Oh how I wish I'd heeded her
In the days when I was young,

And how I long her face to view
Once more before I go
And in her gentle ears tell
My sorry tale of woe.

I know the things I long to say
If she were only here
Of how I grew to fall astray
Of bullshit, babes and beer,

I'd tell her all I have done wrong
And this I'd also say:
"I'm proud to be a MOAB, Mom!
I never truusted yer judgement much anywaaaay!"




Caldwell Tupperware Holmes
Anti-Temperance Songs of the Open Plain
Boston, 1894

(Actually Rapaire did not appear on the MOAB until May 12, 2003, and he was already protesting at that time. So maybe he should just be fathered rather than grandfathered. I am sure he would be delighted in any case.)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 08 - 03:25 PM

SOmetimes I think you should have one to post here, too....not you individually, as you're pretty much a grandfather charter member.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,Rapaire
Date: 30 Aug 08 - 11:52 AM

You need a permit to carry that bomb.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 30 Aug 08 - 12:56 AM

Our MOAB is a weapon against mediocrity.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 30 Aug 08 - 12:01 AM

"http://www.globalsecurity.org/military/systems/munitions/moab.htm

Based upon this definition, the MOAB is a weapon and requires a legal review. This review's conclusions are based on the facts contained herein. Any weapon that varies from the technical descriptions included in this review must be the subject of a separate legal review.

There is no agreed definition of unnecessary suffering. Whether a weapon causes unnecessary suffering turns on whether the injury, including death, to combatants is disproportionate to the military advantage gained by use of the weapon. The effect of a weapon must be weighed in light of levels of injury to enemy combatants by comparable, lawful weapons in use on the modern battlefield. The critical factor is whether the suffering is needless or disproportionate to the military advantage secured by the weapon, not the degree of suffering itself."


JUst so you know...


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 08 - 11:54 PM

I think he meant The Mother of All Bombs, Bruce.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: GUEST,beardedbruce
Date: 29 Aug 08 - 10:14 PM

reading novel by John Ringo "Into the Looking Glass".Pages 25-26:

"Understanding physics is the basis to everything, Mr. President. Everything from cellular telephones to th MOAB."





Just though you might want to know. Still reading.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 08 - 09:32 PM

Hey, man, I yam sorry I poked fun atchew.

You're a whole world easier to take than that sawed-off dickwad in the political threads.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 08 - 11:40 AM

Tin-hat god in a tin-pot town
Swinging his weight and a-walkin' round,
Weapons and medals hanging down to his knees
Reciting his academic pedigrees

That's Rapaire!
Biiiig Rapaire!

Ole Rapaire measures six foot three,
Slightly lessened by chronology
Useter soljer when fit and live
Now a bookmobile is what he drives

That's Rapaire!
Biiiig Rapaire!

Now on the outside he seems okay.
The Board says he's been earning his pay
They gave him a raise, and a vote of thanks
For teaching them all about knives and tanks!

That's Rapaire!
Biiiig Rapaire!

But on the inside where you can't see
Rapaire has delusions of grandiosity,
Ruling the Universe from God's own throne
To while away the hours when he's all alone

That's Rapaire!
Biiiig Rapaire!

Now some folks say it's a childhood twist
That made him a plagiarizing solipsist;
And some folks say it was battle stress,
But bno-one knows, 'cuz he won't confess.

That's Rapaire!
Biiiig Rapaire!

(Fade out with sliding steel and conga drums rattling)


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 08 - 11:14 AM

GOod thing yer so eddicated, there, Rapaire. Otherwise, folks might wonder where you get all yer wild ideers.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Aug 08 - 11:06 AM

Social Theology, Sacramental Theology, Scriptural Theology, Marriage and the Family, Cosmology, Introduction to the Early Fathers, Heresies, and Comparative Religions.

Philosophy courses included Logic, Ethics, Existentialism, Intro (2 semesters), Contemporary Philosophies, Philosophy of the Middle Ages, and Epistomology.

Of course, some of them interacted with other courses, such as Shakespeare (taken from both the literary and drama perspectives), Medieval Literature, Contemporary Drama, Early Drama, 18th Century Literature, Byzantine History, Western Civilization, Race Relations, Statistics, Spanish (1 year), French (3 years), Modern French Drama, Modern Art, and whole bunch of other stuff.

Ha ha!


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 08 - 10:02 AM

A world of very large mirrors and unending smoke.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Aug 08 - 12:14 AM

LOL! Those sound like you lifted them straight off the curriculum at the WSSBA, Amos.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 29 Aug 08 - 12:02 AM

A sort of self-study course? Onanism for the Omnipotent? Applied Narcissism for Beginners? Solipsism--Tips and Tricks for the Professional?



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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 10:42 PM

21 semester hours of Theology, just as I have.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 10:37 PM

He must be a serious scholar, to be so canonical.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 10:17 PM

He also once had two cannons, a canoe, and a coffin in his garage. At the same time. He has since sold the coffin and added a kayak.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 04:16 PM

The only kinda a trouble my brother would get into with politics is the kind you get into for not stealing, lying, cheating, invading, embezzeling, bribing, grafting, inebriating, adulterizing, pornographizing, and stuff like those. Heck, he's even (hold onto your hats, folks!) a genuine ordained Protestant minister and a fair-to-middlin' born-and-raised Catholic all at the same time.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Acme
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 03:36 PM

Politics won't work if she doesn't want him getting into trouble. The odds are against him, anyway.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 12:41 PM

My brother is not Governor of Montana (or if he is he hasn't told me), but he IS an Alderman in Athens, Illinois. He's at the end of his second term and since he believes in term limits he won't run again for Alderman. He IS, however, considering a run for Mayor because:

a) he retired last January, and
b) his wife wants him out of the house, but
c) doing something other than huntin' an' fishin' an' gettin' inta trouble.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 12:35 PM

IF you keep throwing out deformed exceptions to the rule like that, you'll have to go back to the drawing board and re-do from scratch.


A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 12:25 PM

Ah, yes, but all men are brothers in spirit, therefore Brian Schweitzer is Rapaire's brother. And so is William Shatner.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 11:56 AM

Brian Schweitzer is the Governor of Montana, Donuel. I doubt there is a tablespoon of Doelmann blood in his veins, at loeast that he would admit.

And by the way, it is Governor Schweitzer who asserts that using the Germn technology for conversion of coal to petroleum, there's more oil reserve under the state of Montana than under the Middle East, and it could be reclaimed for $32 a barrel.

I don't know if this is true or not, but it sure would get the Saudis out of our pockets if so, and could also reverse our debt to the Chinese.

A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Donuel
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 11:48 AM

Rapaire's brother is the Govenor of Montana but you don't hear him bragging about it. There is a certain fatuous humility in the man/god.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 11:39 AM

Well, we all are, after all; the kingdom of heaven is within thee, you know. But in Rapaire's case, we may be facing a dramatic exception.



A


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: MMario
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 11:33 AM

god = good
god = great
I'm pretty sure
Rapaire ain't.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Amos
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 11:02 AM

SOrry. I meant to type "good". But it would not have made any difference, obviously.


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Subject: RE: BS: The Mother of all BS threads
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Aug 08 - 09:06 AM

...which could be god...

Not "could be", Amos. I am God. Just ask anyone.


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